My room looked like I was trying too hard—even though I kept telling myself I wasn't.
I stood in front of the mirror, tugging at the hem of my shirt, then letting it fall back into place. It wasn't fancy. It wasn't dramatic. It was just… me. And somehow that felt harder than dressing up ever did.
It's not a date, I reminded myself for the tenth time.
Jason had been very clear about that. A hangout. Casual. No expectations.
Still, my stomach didn't seem to care.
I leaned closer to the mirror, checking my face. Nothing different. Same eyes. Same nervous crease between my brows. I brushed my hair once more, then stopped myself before I could overdo it.
I hated this part—the almost.
The part where nothing had happened yet, but everything felt like it might.
My phone buzzed on my bed.
Rose: Be honest. What are you wearing.
I smiled despite myself and snapped a quick photo, sending it to her.
Rose: Okay first of all, rude. Second of all, you look cute in a "not trying but definitely trying" way.
Me: It's literally just a hangout.
Rose: Sure. And libraries are just buildings.
I tossed my phone onto the bed and sat beside it, exhaling.
Jason had noticed a shift in me. That alone still surprised me. I kept replaying the way he'd listened—really listened—without interrupting, without trying to steer the conversation back to himself.
And then there was the way he'd said no labels.
That should have made me feel safe.
It did.
But it also made everything feel wide open.
My phone buzzed again—this time a different name.
Simon
I stared at it for a second before opening the message.
Simon: Hey. Random question—did you ever decide if you like rides or food better at fairs?
My heart did that stupid, inconvenient thing where it sped up for no reason.
Me: Food. Definitely food.
Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Then—
Simon: Good. Just curious.
I smiled, then frowned slightly at my reflection.
Just curious.
He hadn't asked where I was going. He hadn't asked who I was going with. And somehow, that made me feel more seen than if he had.
I stood up again, grabbing my jacket.
Jason's confidence.
Ben's warmth.
Simon's quiet attention.
I caught myself in the mirror one last time.
"Get it together," I whispered.
The doorbell rang downstairs.
My heart jumped.
Too early?
I checked my phone. No new messages. No details yet. Just the hum of anticipation settling in my chest.
I paused at my bedroom door, hand hovering over the knob.
Because once I walked out—
Once I went to that fair—
I knew I wouldn't be standing in the middle of this anymore.
I'd be choosing a direction.
And for the first time since I arrived here, I wasn't sure if I was ready to take that step.