Exiting the elevator, David mumbled to himself, "Get it together... This is not real; it's just my imagination."
Clinging to that thought, he walked toward the car. Inside the car, he thought, "Again, that awful routine." His tired eyes darkened further as he started the car. The engine growled through the silence, but his thoughts remained louder.
His first stop was a police station. With one hand clutching his shirt tightly against his chest, he stepped out of the car. "It's alright; this time, it's going to be positive news." Clinging to that fragile hope, he walked toward the entrance.
A constable standing outside saw David. A familiar smile spread across his face. "Mr. David, back again?" In a calm and friendly manner, he said.
"Y-yes," David answered with a small, awkward smile.
"Don't be that nervous. It's been one and a half years since you started coming here. It's now like a second home for you," he said with a laugh, trying to ease the tension.
"Yes, that's true, but—" David clenched his fist as he stopped. Maybe it was fear or anger, but he might lose it if he continued.
The constable also noticed it. "Hey, David… I really feel sorry for what happened to your wife, but I think it's time you should move on. I'm not saying this as a policeman, but as a friend and a man. You have been through a lot all these years. So maybe it's—"
"Hey, come here. What are you doing over there chatting?"
"Coming!"
As he said that, another constable called for him.
"I have to go. See you later. And please consider what I said, okay?"
David didn't say anything. His head was down, trying to hold something inside him. As the constable's voice faded into the noise of the station, he managed to catch a few words.
"I bet you he will come again. What a fool."
"Hey man, don't say it like that. He has been through a lot."
As he entered the building, lots of known and unknown gazes followed him toward the officer's room.
"They're judging me… Are they saying that again? I don't want to hear it."
At that moment, he felt like a child on the brink of crying, but somehow he made it to the officer's room.
Inside the room, a woman police officer sat in her chair, going through a file. As she looked at David, she stood up and greeted him.
"Hello, Mr. David. It's good to see you again."
"But I'm not," he thought. "Y-yes, it is, so th—"
Before he could continue, Officer Sherly started speaking.
"I know, Mr. David, why you are here, and I'm sorry to tell you we have to close the case."
"B-but, Officer, you can't close it like that. What about my wife? She… she was just an innocent… huff… huff… The killer is out there. And you—"
"Mr. David, calm down. First, sit there and drink some water."
As she gave him a glass of water, she explained everything.
"Mr. David, as you know, it's been over one year since that incident happened. I'm afraid we can't get enough clues to keep this case running further, so that's why—"
"Please, don't say that… one year… over one year… I'm regularly coming here like an idiot, in the hope that I somehow get good news about that bastard… that sick bastard who did that to my wife… but if you say it like that—I can't keep up."
His words broke mid-sentence, as if someone were pulling his throat. His whole body shook, tears flowing like rain on dry ground.
"I know… I know, Mr. David. It's been so difficult for you, but we can't do anything. It's impossible at this point. No evidence, no witness. The CCTV cameras were all shut down. There is no sign of resistance except the blood at the front door to the room, and no fingerprint or weapon. It's like no one was there. I don't want to tell you this, but it's better than false hope. I hope you understand."
He didn't say anything, but his expression said it all. Hopeless, he clenched his shirt as if his heart would burst out of his chest. Trying to hold back his tears, he sat there for at least 30 minutes.
After getting himself together, he stood up and started walking out of the station, but he looked back.
"Thank you, Miss Sherly, for everything you have done for my wife. I really appreciate it."
"It's my duty. Go safely."
"Okay."
And then he ran toward his car, ignoring everyone. He just wanted to reject it, just wanted to bear the unbearable. As he sat inside the car, he drove as far as he could.
And when he stopped, he was at the cemetery.