The strange thing about dying, James realized, wasn't that he thought of his inevitable doom.
No. Instead he thought of all kinds of memories that felt ridiculous in the face of death.
Like a phone buzzing at 3 a.m. with Violet's name on it.
Like the taste of cheap ramen broth, salty enough to burn your lips.
Like late nights binge watching anime, wishing he was the one reincarnated in those worlds. Not some dumb idiot who can't tell if a girl likes him or not.
'I want those things back. Even the ones that hurt... on another thought maybe not those parts."
" Hey limp dick, how have you been? " a tall lanky man said as he slapped a skinny youth with glasses on the back.
The youth was shocked and stopped reading the manhwa on his smartphone and looked at his assaulter.
It was his childhood 'friend' Ethan. Less friend more of a bully if you asked James though. As it finally dawned on him what Ethan said. James's face turned pale with anger.
Just as he was about to explode with retort, Ethan put his hands up and said while shaking his head," oh don't be a wuss, it is a fact that you cannot get it up. Why are you angry at me you should be more angry at Violet your girl."
Ethan paced back and forth around and continued.
" Oops, i meant your ex, she is the one who aired all your secrets to the public not me "
" I hear she is dating James the 6'8 Athlete. I bet she having fun with his...um... johnson"
James forced a laugh but his nail dug deep in his palm.
James is the kind of guy that even at parties, he sat at the corner and read books untill someone turned the light of.
His high-school principal once laughed joyously and said," So this happens when talent works hard, the freaking number one in the whole of Green wood City."
"Why are you not excited? You brought glory to our high-school"
James gave a polite smile and said, " I'm happy, sir, how is my application for college scholarship going."
The principal smiled warmly and gently patted his shoulder and said, " Son, I have good news for you. The mayor himself will award you tomorrow with the scholarship, live television no less."
The next day,the headmistress of the orphanage wiped off her tears as he accepted his scholarship.
The green pendant on his wrist caught the sunlight, an old heirloom from his real parents James barely noticed it anymore.
James chest tightened, he had no memories of his biological parents, only the orphanage that raised him.
He never had resentment towards his biological parents , he knew how hard life could be.
James dream is to one day repay his orphanage and one day see the wider world.
Everything was going well until Violet came into to his life. She was the most beautiful girl in the world... atleast in his eyes. She had a petite figure and chestnut eyes. She had innocent and shy demeanor and was soft spoken.
James who was never interested in love or the idea of falling in love was deeply attracted by her simple and pure aura she exuded.
He didn't know where he found the courage but he asked her out and she said yes to his absolute delight.
That night he didn't sleep at all do to happiness. They went on a picnic date as their first date do to her suggestion since was absolute noob when it came to dating.
They went on three more dates until the night that changed everything.
Violet asked if he could spend the night. Before the most they did was kiss and hold hands.
His throat refused to swallow but he still readily agreed.
James was a virgin in everysense of the word, he has never even masturbated. He was always busy with his studies and thoughts never crossed his mind.
So when Violet removed her clothes ,he shyly started kissing and caressing her. After few minutes of that and nothing his dick did not even twitch let alone harden.
Alittle shocked Violet tried giving him a blowjob and still nothing happened.
James was beyond embarrassed, he wished the would just swallow him then and there.
Violet said in calm soothing voice, " Relax.It is just nerves, first time, right?Happens to alot of guys, probably just....anxiety."
Violet's calm gentle words soothed him and he reluctantly believed her. He didn't notice the fleeting disgusted look Violet gave him.
The next day desperate for answers, he went to the doctor only to hear crushing truth he had erectile disfunction.
Shame gnawed at him. Instead of facing Violet, James shut her out and lost himself in textbooks.
James hadn't answered her calls or texts in over a week. Each buzz of his phone only made his chest tighten with pain
Finally, late one evening, he gave in. His thumb hovered over the screen for minutes before he began to type.
"Violet… I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. The truth is… the doctor said I have a medical condition. Erectile dysfunction. I thought maybe it was just nerves, but… it wasn't. Iam sorry for wasting your time. You deserve someone better."
He stared at the words, his vision blurring. With a shaky breath, he pressed send.
No reply. She left him on seen. James quietly said,"i think its fair since i left many of her texts on seen over the week."
Even though he said that, his tears couldn't stop falling.
Days went by, and James depression slowly began to lift. He drifted back toward his usual routine of studying, instead of hiding in a dark room, binge-eating and numbly watching porn just to see if he could stir even the faintest reaction from his dick.
It wasn't until whispers began circling on campus that James realized what she had done.
Snickers followed him down the hallways. Girls cupped their hands over their mouths, and giggled as he passed.
One even muttered the word "Mr softie" loud enough for him to hear.
Violet hadn't just left him. She had shared his deepest darkest secret with the world, the one he wanted to go to the grave with.
Ethan as if noticing James's anger laughed sarcastically," you don't even come to college anymore, have you given up on the one thing you were good at."
James said with gritted teeth," stop with you bulshit Ethan and leave me alone. Iam not in the mood for your childishness today or you will regret it."
Ethan looked at him and said coldly," "Regret? Don't make me laugh. The day a pussy like you make me regret is the day hell freezes over."
James finally snapped, he suddenly used his phone as a weapon and smashed Ethan right in the neck.
James didn't stop. Rage carried him forward. His foot crashed into Ethan's face, blood and teeth scattering across the floor. Gasps filled the hall. Phones rose recording every second. Pathetic. Not one of them moved.
James turned away, disgust boiling in his gut. 'And I thought I was pathetic reading some manhwa while waiting for lights to change.'
"James…" The voice was low and full of venom. James turned to the source the voice. Ethan was running towards him, blood dripping from his mouth, but his hand gripped something, it was a knife.
James breath caught. Too late. The knife drove into his stomach. Pain exploded. His body folded, legs trembling. He looked down at the blade lodged deep in him, crimson soaking his shirt.
Ethan's face twisted with hate. "Think you can humiliate me bitch? You don't get to walk away from me!"
James staggered back, vision blurring. Screams erupted around them, but still no one moved. Just more cameras. Always cameras. His eyes fell to his wrist.
Ethan looked petrified, his brain finally realising the weight of the crime he just committed.
he dropped the knife,and starting running away like mad man.
No one tried to stop him, the crowd parted like the red sea giving him easy path to escape the crime scene.
The green pendant glowed, dim golden light cracking through its surface. The hum was low, almost like a heartbeat.
' i let my guard down . So this is it… killed by the same trash that's bullied me all my life. Fuck me... i hope he rots in jail atleast.'
The pendant on his wrist stired it pulsed once, twice. Then it shattered spilling golden ligh that swallowed him whole.
Everyone stood there, dumbstruck, not believing what they just saw.
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Author's Note:
Hey everyone! Welcome to the first chapter of my very first book. I really hope you enjoy the story! :)
If you have any questions , feel free to drop them in the comments.I'll definitely reply to to all of them! :)
Thank you.(^_^)