Harley tumbled out of the broom closet face-first again, this time landing flat beside the clerk's desk. Pamela exhaled through her nose and walked over, offering a hand to pull her up. "You really need to stop hiding in closets, Harley."
Harley took the hand anyway, muttering, "Thanks, toots."
Pamela's fingers lingered around Harley's wrist. "You have incredibly soft skin," she said softly, turning her hand over. "After being dropped in acid, I'd expect peeling, not this glow."
Harley jerked her hand away, her face heating under the fluorescent lights. "Don't just grab a girl's hand like that!"
Pamela tilted her head slightly, her voice teasing but quiet. "Oh my, Harley, are you feeling shy around me?"
Harley crossed her arms and looked away. "As if."
She stepped beside Barbara to change the subject. "Babs, your girlfriend's full of herself—flirting with me like that."
Barbara, without missing a beat, said calmly, "Oh, come on, Harley. You know Pamela's gorgeous. Honestly, it's an honor she's flirting with you."
Harley's entire face turned scarlet, no makeup, just raw color. Before she could respond, a sharp pop echoed from behind the counter. The desk clerk now had a bright red rubber clown nose on his face.
Harley gasped. "Oh my gosh! My spontaneous clown conjuring power has never triggered on someone else before!"
The clerk blinked, staring down at the oversized nose. Barbara, unable to resist, reached over and gave it a gentle honk. HOOONK.
The sound echoed through the empty office.
The clerk slapped her hand away, removed the nose, and sighed. He opened a side drawer labeled Gimmick Items Spawned by Customers. Inside sat a ball gag, fake teeth, a clown car key fob, a stress banana, and a lipstick-smeared mouthguard. He tossed the nose in, slammed the drawer shut, and muttered, "I've really had it with you people and your spontaneously appearing crap."
Barbara blinked. "Wait, this happens to you often?"
The clerk didn't look up. "More than you'd believe."
He shuffled through a small stack of forms and finally glanced at them. "So, what brings you ladies to the Gotham City Land Office today?"
Barbara pulled a thick contract from her bag and laid it on the counter. "We're here to file this. Phil Collins signed over the entire plot to us—free of charge."
The clerk adjusted his glasses. "You're telling me you acquired one full square mile of downtown Gotham, completely free?"
"That's correct," Barbara said flatly.
He nodded slowly, his expression blank. "Alright then. Filing fee's three hundred dollars even."
Barbara counted out three hundred in twenties, the bills crisp from their earlier heist, and slid them across the counter. The clerk took the cash, stamped the forms twice, and pushed them back. "Sign here."
Barbara signed cleanly.
He tapped his pen. "Anyone else want their names on the deed?"
Pamela and Harley shook their heads.
The clerk flipped the final page and said without inflection, "Congratulations. You now own one square mile of derelict downtown Gotham real estate." He reached into a drawer, produced a sad party horn, squeezed it once, and scattered a handful of dusty confetti onto the counter. "Happy, happy, joy, joy. Thank you, have a great day." He hung a GONE TO LUNCH sign on the desk and walked out with his bag.
Harley watched him leave. "Well, well, well. That's something, huh?"
Barbara rubbed her forehead. "City bureaucrats get paid too much."
Pamela turned toward the doorway. "After witnessing Harley's 'clown intimidation,' I'd say they don't get paid enough."
Harley threw up her hands. "Hey! I can't help it. Sometimes when I get flustered, the clown powers just… go off. Usually it's just that damn clown car, but we've got plants in the lair to eat the weird stuff now. It's fine, right?"
Barbara turned to Pamela, half-serious. "Can you actually live with all this clown chaos?"
Pamela's voice was calm. "My plants can digest anything. No big deal."
Harley sighed in relief. "You girls are terrifying. I thought I was gonna get kicked out of Midnight Mayhem for this."
Pamela walked closer, fingertips brushing Harley's cheek in a soft gesture that made Harley's breath hitch. "I'd never kick out a beautiful blonde like you, Harley."
Harley stumbled back, flustered. "Watch it! Keep those hands to yourself!"
Barbara laughed under her breath. "Just you wait. You'll fall just as fast as I did."
Harley puffed up. "Pfft. I'm into men, not women."
Pamela's tone was silky. "Mmm. Just a matter of time, Harley. You'll give in to the power of Yuri."
Harley blew air from her cheeks and pointed toward the door. "Yeah, whatever. Let's just get outta here before that guy comes back with more confetti."
They headed out through the echoing marble hallway. Harley's voice bounced off the walls. "So, we own the land now. Time to meet Kira Strix and the rest of the hench-squad. We've got construction to plan. Headquarters won't build itself, and Babs needs to launch her product line."
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