Several days had passed and we still had no idea what was the trigger for the memory loss. Actually, no. That would be a lie. The fifth of November once held a special place in my heart. And up to this point, that had stayed only as an assumption.
Honestly, I wish I could talk it out with Edmund but I fear… I terribly fear, bringing this up would break his heart. Is it truly a coincidence that my wedding anniversary to Alistair coincided with that particular date? And if I were to share this piece of information, would that not mean I acknowledge missing another man while being married to him? Ugh! What a horrible person am I?
His touches of assurance once again brought me back to reality. The fingers that interlaced with mine brought a type of warmth I once longed for. He gave me a complicated look.
I could only give him a slight smile in response.
Time was running out. I needed to confirm my theory. But how?
"Say, Edmund…" I spoke. My eyes stared straight at the TV program, pretending it was the most interesting show I had ever watched.
"Hmm?"
"When was it again when I lost my memory the second and third time?"
"Sometime in mid January and the recent one is in September."
"Mid-January?" I echoed a little louder than I expected. "And then September?" I quickly added, suppressing my initial shock.
He nodded his head and lowered the volume of the TV. "Are you remembering something?"
"No! I mean, no. Not really. I mean, yeah. Not really…"
I eyed his reactions, trying to figure out if he truly had no idea. I mean, with his wealth he could do anything! It would not be surprising if he were to run a background check on me. I know I would if I had the means to!
Could he be pretending not to be able to make a correlation with the dates? Or is he genuinely clueless? Because with one quick check, it was blatant that the first and second memory losses were related to Alistair.
But again, none of it makes any sense. Why was I pining for a man who did not want me? Was I not happily married to Edmund? And what about September?
Rather than bringing up the issue, I decided to keep them to myself. At least for now.
* * * * *
The fifth of November came as we feared. I stayed in bed, wishing my inactivity would not trigger anything. I know a moment of time wasted would be a loss for me but still, I chose to wrap myself in the cosy room.
"Did you have a good sleep?" Edmund came much much later to check on me. He drew the curtain, letting the bright sunlight penetrate through the room.
"I don't know. Do I?" I whined, hiding my face beneath the blanket.
"Come. The weather's nice. Let's have brunch and swim."
Even I could tell the fake cheerfulness he carried.
"No! I want to wait until the day is over-"
He pulled the blanket, exposing me to the sun's rays that touched the bed. "Come now. Do you want to eat at the restaurant or do you want to eat at the lounge?"
"I have no appetite!"
He sat down on the bed. I plugged my ears with my fingers, refusing to listen to what he had to say. Instead, he picked me up and carried me to the living room!
"HEEEEEYYYY!!!"
"Let's go on a date." He had this cheeky grin plastered on his face. I am not going to let him win.
"Whyyyy? Why bother when I know I won't be able to enjoy it?" I extended my arms, hoping he would let me down with the sudden shift in weight.
To my surprise, he started walking out to the patio and straight to the lounge where our brunch waited for us.
"Edmuuuuund…"
"Do you want me to feed you?" His eyes glinted with mischief, telling me that he did not need to repeat twice.
Immediately, I sat up right and started shoving food down my throat. I thought I could rest right after I was eating but nooo, Edmund had other plans for me.
Once again, he carried my protesting self in his arms all the way to the water fountain.
"Here's a coin. Let's make a wish."
I looked at the man who prayed earnestly after tossing a coin. 'As if an inanimate object could grant us a wish. Let alone this much coin to buy our luck!.'
I tossed the coin into the water fountain, grumbling restlessly over what might come.
The day did not go as I wanted. I ended up swimming to my heart's content despite the pessimism leeching out. Before I knew it, it was almost sunset. I get to watch the most beautiful twilight sky transitioned from blue to orange and then dark blue. Even the curtains of stars twinkling at five in the afternoon managed to make me forget all about the memory loss.
I had so much fun thanks to Edmund.
Yet, the anticipation of it coming never came. The day went on like any other day. Even so, we dared not let our guard down even when the night sky deepened. It was only after ten in the evening did Edmund allow me to return to the bedroom.
I laid on the soft bed, thankfully wondering why it never happened. I even questioned if Alistair was even part of the equation? Or perhaps I was too focused on not losing my memory that it shifted my attention entirely.
I had to admit, the anxiety of waking up everyday was exhausting. To think he had to go through this alone everyday, knowing there is a high possibility his wife could not recognise him. How did he even cope with it?
To my surprise, it did not take long until I found out how.