Yo, what's good everyone? It's ya boy, Mash!
It's been two weeks since the whole Syrus Catfish Arc™ and its also been two weeks of me living in this brand new world.
As for me? I've been bin chilling… and also wearing the same damn outfit for TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT! Why? Because big dumbass me thought it'd be a great idea to reincarnate at the very start of GX instead of, oh I don't know, a year earlier so I could pack more than one pair of underwear!
Thankfully, if it weren't for Jaden the savior and absolute GOAT that he allows to lent me some of his clothes. Otherwise, I'd be out here half-naked, clinging to a towel hiding my lil guy, while my only set of clothes dries in the sun.
Right now, I'm in Duel Theory class. Jaden's beside me, completely out hibernating. Syrus is nervously writing down notes like it's life or death. Chumley's chomping away on a cheese sandwich behind a textbook and for some reason the fatass is chewing with his mouth open. And me? I'm front row center, in hell.
The classroom's shaped more like a university lecture hall than a regular class. And standing on his high-ass podium, spitting more nonsense than a clickbait YouTuber, is none other than Professor Crowler himself.
I swear to god, I can't stress how shitty this class is! Like holy shit, if I want to play Yugioh or Duel monster (if we're going this world accurate) I can just search up "How to play this stupid card game" on this world's google or youtube, and just learn from there. There's probably millions of them for how popular this card game is in this world.
SO WHY THE HELL AM I SITTING THROUGH A 30-MINUTE LECTURE ON HOW TO USE TRAP CARDS.
Oh, And after all that yapping, Crowler always throws out a question for some pity DP like it's some kind of point system from Harry potty. Not that I'm complaining about free Duel Points...
Crowler finally stopped yapping and swept his gaze across the classroom like a hawk circling prey. His over-lipstick mouth twitched with irritation as he folded his arms behind his back.
"Now, I hope all your tiny brains managed to process that." he said with exaggerated patience. "So tell me… what happens when a Trap Monster is flipped face-down by something like, say… the effect of Book of Moon?"
A forest of hands shot into the air from Slifer, Ra, and Obelisk alike, several students practically bouncing in their seats like overeager kindergarteners.
"It gets flipped into face-down defense mode!"
"It doesn't do anything, duh, obviously."
"What's a Book of Moon?"
Mash stared at the class with the same blank expression one might reserve for watching a slow-motion train wreck.
[I want to slam my head into the desk until I get a concussion.]
Dear God and Holy Cow. The only people in this entire room with functioning brain cells were him, Bastion, and Alexis. No wonder these people ended up in a school that taught you how to play card games, they'd never gonna survive a normal education system let alone pass.
Bastion was already lifting his hand, but Mash spoke first.
"It gets set back into the Spell and Trap Zone." Mash said flatly, his voice carrying the bored certainty of someone reciting the alphabet.
Crowler scoffed. "Tch. Correct. Extra DP for Signore Mash."
The Slifers around Mash erupted into cheers as if he had just returned from hunting a wooly mammoth for these cavemans.
"Way to go, Mash!" Syrus shouted, clearly impressed despite having watched this exact scenario play out dozens of times already.
"Huh? What'd I miss?" Jaden mumbled as he woke up from his slumber. "Oh, just Mash again? Cool." He yawned and knocked back out like a corpse.
Across the aisle, several Obelisk and Ra students groaned in defeat.
For the past two weeks, Mash had been absolutely dominating Crowler's trivia questions alongside Alexis and Bastion. The other two occasionally managed to answer something first, but Mash was still miles ahead in total answers. And even those rare victories only happened when Mash couldn't be bothered to answer or had zoned out entirely from the sheer basicness of the questions.
Suddenly, an Obelisk student in a crisp blue jacket shot to his feet and pointed an accusing finger across the classroom.
"Hey! How the hell can this Slifer slacker who flunked the written exam and finished dead last be this smart?! And why isn't he in Ra Yellow already?!"
Crowler pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed as though the question had physically exhausted him.
"I shall answer your second question first, Signore Hans. As you students know, the Promotion Exam will take place next week." Crowler rubbed his temple, sighing deeply. "Only then will Signore Mash be eligible for advancement in dorm rank. And as for why he wasn't placed in Ra despite his…"
"Performance...!" Crowler body twitched as he recall of the humiliation "Well, that has everything to do with his written test."
[And that is also where Episode 4 will start.] he thought lazily. [No one will read this, right?]
Crowler folded his arms again. "As for your first question regarding Signore Mash flunking the exam… after reviewing his test in detail, I have come to the conclusion that Signore Mash failed on purpose."
The classroom exploded.
"WHAT!?"
Even Jaden jolted upright again. "Huh!? Wha- what!?" He blinked a few times, processing absolutely none of it. "…Whatever." A second later he dropped face-first onto his desk again.
Alexis stood up in disbelief. "Professor Crowler, that's impossible! Why would he do that?"
Bastion raised his hand immediately after. "And even if he did intentionally fail the written exam, wouldn't he have been disqualified from participating in the practical exam?"
The class erupted into whispers and confused chatter.
Crowler tapped his desk sharply with his pen. "Mamma mia, settle down."
He cleared his throat. "The only reason Signore Mash was allowed to duel in the practical exam at all is due to Principal Sheppard's decision. This year only, all students, regardless of written exam scores were permitted to participate in the practical exam. Only after winning would they qualify to enter Duel Academy. The written score affected nothing except dorm placement."
Bastion nodded thoughtfully and sat down, apparently satisfied with the explanation.
Alexis, however, remained standing. "Still… that doesn't explain why you believe he failed on purpose."
Crowler exhaled a long, weary sigh. "Then allow me to demonstrate."
He pressed a button beneath his desk. A projector whirred to life, casting a large image onto the board at the front of the room. At the top corner of the test glared a massive red zero.
Crowler gestured dramatically toward it. "This is Signore Mash's written exam. Please observe."
The first question appeared.
[Question 1: How many times can you Normal Summon a monster per turn?]
"A single Lovely Labrynth."
Then the second...
[Question 2: What are the types of Spell Cards in Duel Monsters?]
"Spell that only summon Lovely Labrynth."
The third...
[Question 3: If my monster with 1200 ATK attacks a opponent monster with 1000 ATK, How much damage would they take?]
"Lovely Labrynth."
The same answer repeated again and again across the screen.
Twenty questions.
Twenty Lovely Labrynths.
Half the class looked so shocked they seemed to forgot how to breathe. Many mouths were open. Eyes were wide stunned. All shocked Pikachu faces all around.
Alexis, Bastion, Syrus, Chumley, and a few others stared at the board as well.
They looked shocked.
But none of them were actually surprised.
Mash simply smirked, resting his chin lazily on his palm. "What can I say?" he said with casual pride. "She is my Lovely, after all."
"That's right~!"
A familiar, elegant voice suddenly came from directly behind him.
Lovely Labrynth materialized beside Mash with a mischievous smile. Even though the class had seen her appear before during lectures, the sudden manifestation of a talking hologram still made the entire room freeze.
The reaction was instantaneous.
As half the male population of the classroom completely lost their minds.
"Ahh~ you love me so much, Darling~?" she purred, leaning down beside Mash's shoulder. "Mmm~ well guess what~? I love you too~!" She pressed a soft kiss against his cheek.
Instantly, the entire boys in the class lost their damn minds.
"Tch… why can't it be me…" one jealous Obelisk muttered under his breath.
"Hey, forget him and come with me instead!" another shouted desperately. "I'll treat you right! Be my girlfriend!"
A third student blinked at him. "Don't you already have a girlfriend?"
"Yup," the boy replied, checking his phone. "…And she just texted me. And, yep. I'm single now."
I chuckled as Lovely basked in the attention, arms crossed smugly as if she were royalty.
Syrus leaned slightly toward Mash, his voice lowered with nervous curiosity as he glanced between him and the elegant Duel Spirit beside him. "Um… Miss Labrynth? Every time you show up, the boys in class go completely feral."
Lovely Labrynth placed a hand against her chest and huffed with theatrical pride, her long silver hair swaying as she tilted her chin upward.
"Hmph! They can bark all they want about making me 'theirs,' but allow me to shatter their little fantasies~" Her silver eyes slid toward Mash, softening instantly as a playful smile spread across her lips. "Because I belong to my one and only Darling~! Isn't that right~?"
"That's right, my lovely." I nodded then turned backwards looking at the rest of the students. "Now... Like usual if you want, for 10 DP, you can take a selfie of my Lovely."
"That's right, my Lovely." Mash nodded without hesitation, resting his chin briefly in his palm before pushing himself up from his seat.
Turning around to face the rest of the classroom, he casually hooked a thumb toward the regal spirit beside him. "Now then… same deal as always, boys. Ten DP if you want a selfie with my Lovely."
Mash flashed a smirk. "Don't be shy."
The reaction was immediate and catastrophic.
Half the male population of the classroom erupted into chaos, chairs scraping as they scrambled forward like starving animals rushing toward fresh meat. Meanwhile, the girls stared on in varying shades of disbelief, horror, and secondhand embarrassment.
[Fu fu fu…] Mash thought smugly as the crowd began forming a line. [They're just healthy teenage boys, after all. So easily manipulated by their own desires… and so easily profited from.]
He threw his head back and burst into laughter. "GYA HO HO HO HO—!"
Then he raised a finger slightly, as if pausing the entire moment.
[STOP! Before we go any further… you're probably wondering something. Specifically: how the hell is my elegant silver mommy waifu, who isn't even dueling right now, just casually standing in the middle of the class chatting with everyone like she's a celebrity?]
Mash's grin widened.
[Well then… let's rewind time a bit.]
-----
[Two weeks ago – inside my dorm room]
Lovely Labrynth stood beside Mash's bed, one hand resting elegantly on her hip as she finished explaining the finer details of his Master Duel system. After nearly ten minutes of animated explanation, she clapped her hands together with enthusiasm.
"And so~!" she declared proudly. "By using ten extra materials of the same rarity, you can upgrade certain older cards into their more modern versions! For example~!"
She snapped her fingers as two holographic cards appeared in the air between them. "{Petit Dragon} can be upgraded into {Ranryu} using only ten N materials instead of crafting it normally with thirty! Super efficient, right~?"
Then she lifted a finger, wagging it in warning. "But~! this upgrade feature, only works on cards that originate from this world. Not from gacha or crafting~ So no cheating by crafting {Cockroach Knight} and then turning it into {Maxx C}, got it, Darling~?"
Mash leaned back on his bed, hands folded behind his head as he gave a slow nod. "Alright… so basically a card gets a little glow-up if it's a native boi."
Lovely's eyes sparkled as she snapped her fingers. "Exactly, Darling~! Ten billion points for you~!"
She spun lightly on her heel, clearly pleased. "And that's the last extra feature of your system that I know of! Everything else works just like regular Master Duel, alongside that Spirit Bond system which should be simple enough~"
She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward slightly. "So then… any questions, Darling~?"
Mash sat up.
"Yes," he said calmly. "Actually… I do have one. And it's about you."
Lovely froze.
Her entire body jolted as if struck by lightning.
"KYAAA~!?" she squealed, instantly covering her face with both hands. "A question about me~!? Oh Darling~! Is it about my height? My face? My charming personality- wait, no, I bet it's about how huge my brea-"
Mash coughed loudly. "Actually… I wanted to ask how you're able to make normal people see and hear you during duels."
Lovely blinked.
Mash continued, gesturing vaguely. "Because in the anime, unless you have the same innate sensitivity to be able to see and hear Duel Spirits like Jaden or Chazz for example, no one should be able to see or hear you, but in the last duel even Syrus is able to see and hear you clearly. So I was wondering how-"
He stopped.
Lovely's expression had completely deflated, her shoulders drooping as if someone had punctured her with a needle and she also seemed to be on the verge of crying.
Mash grimaced internally.
"I... was also going to ask about your body too, Lovely!" he added quickly. "Just… later. After this question. Okay?"
Lovely instantly lit up like a Christmas tree.
"REALLY~!? REALLY!?" she gasped, grabbing his shoulders with sparkling eyes. "Oh Darling~! You're so bold~!" She cleared her throat dramatically, regaining her composure. "Alright then! I'll answer your first question first!"
She placed a smug hand on her hip. "It's actually super simple! I just possessed the Duel Disk hologram system~!"
Mash blinked.
"…That's it?"
"That's it~!"
Mash leaned back again with a faint sigh. "Well. That was anticlimactic."
Lovely only shrugged playfully. "Well you see, Darling~ Duel Spirits are basically a superior magical version of stereotypical ghosts. By hijacking the Duel Disk's hologram system, I can use the projection as a sort of suit or puppet."
"That way I can move around freely where everyone can see me, and I can even use the Duel Disk's built-in speakers so everyone can hear me too~!" She suddenly posed gracefully as to show how clever she was. "So how's that, Darling~?"
Mash eyes widen as he realizes. "Wait… So can other Duel Spirits do this?"
Lovely nodded playfully. "They should be able to! Remember that filler episode with the Jinzo spirit who materialized using electricity? It's actually not that hard for us Duel Spirits~ especially with the new features on this version of the Duel Disk~"
Mash raised an eyebrow. "What new feature?"
Lovely leaned closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially.
"Darling~ do you remember that scene where Jaden summoned four of his Elemental HERO monsters at once even though he wasn't dueling?"
Mash thought for a moment before nodding slowly. "Yeah… Episode 25. When he gave them a pep talk before a duel… Wait. Don't tell me-"
"Exactly~!" she chirped, delighted. "That feature is called Projection Mode. Its original purpose is just letting duelists admire their monsters in hologram form outside of battle. So if you pull some cool monster card and want to see it in hologram form without starting a duel, bam! Projection Mode!"
Her smile widened mischievously.
"But for Duel Spirits like us… it can be used for something much more interesting~"
----
Back to the present
Mash watched smugly as a line of boys formed in front of his desk, each one vibrating with excitement as they waited for their chance to take a selfie with Lovely Labrynth like she was the reigning Miss Universe.
Which, in Mash's completely unbiased opinion, she absolutely was.
And before each one could even lift their PDA, they obediently transferred ten DP straight into his account.
Mash glanced down at his PDA.
His grin stretched wider as the Duel Point counter steadily climbed.
It was glorious.
Of course, there was still one small catch to this.
In order to keep Lovely's hologram visible to everyone, Mash had to wear his Duel Disk constantly with her card inserted. Which meant dragging the bulky thing everywhere, classrooms, hallways, dorms. The damn device was heavy enough to make his left arm ache after a few hours, and wearing it all day wasn't exactly comfortable either.
Still…
Mash looked up at the crowd of fanboys losing their collective minds over a single photo.
The soreness in his shoulder suddenly didn't seem so bad.
Chumley scratched his cheek as he glanced toward the growing line of boys gathered around Mash's smug silver queen. "Uh… Mash?" he said slowly, his round face creasing with uncertainty. "You sure it's okay for your girlfriend to be doing all that?"
Mash didn't even bother turning at first. He simply shrugged lazily in his chair and flicked his thumb toward the scene behind him where Lovely Labrynth was currently posing beside a blushing Ra student holding up his phone like he'd just met a celebrity.
"Why don't you ask her yourself?" he replied casually.
As if on cue, Lovely finished striking a graceful pose and turned toward them, her long silver hair swaying as she lifted a hand in a cheerful wave. "Oh, don't worry, Chum-chum~!" she said brightly. "This was actually my idea~!"
"Cause... as long as it benefits my Darling~ I don't really mind it that much~!" She winked at Mash. "Isn't that right~♡"
The effect on the surrounding boys was immediate.
Several of them clutched their chests like they had just been shot.
One nearby Obelisk student suddenly leaned forward with desperate energy. "H-Hey, Miss Labrynth!" he blurted. "Can you call me Darling too, please?!"
"Who the fuck are you?" she asked flatly, her tone dropping from sweet idol charm to looking at a bug in an instant.
The Obelisk boy shrank like a raisin, quietly sitting back down while questioning every life choice he's ever made.
Across the classroom, Crowler's knuckles were turning white as he gripped his pen hard enough that it let out a faint cracking sound.
"Didn't I explicitly say not to bring that thing-" he snapped, before Mash shot him a sharp glare.
Crowler immediately corrected himself, coughing awkwardly. "I-I mean… her… out during class time!"
Mash calmly lifted his PDA and checked the clock. "Oh please, Professor. It should be fine." He tilted the screen toward Crowler with a lazy smirk. "It's 10:59. Break time should be in about…"
RRRRRRIIIIINGGGG
Mash smirked. "Now."
Crowler clicked his tongue in frustration, stuffing his papers together with stiff, irritated movements. "Tch! Very well then. That concludes today's lecture." He adjusted his posture with a huff. "Everyone, be sure to study properly for your upcoming promotion exams. Good day!"
He stormed out of the classroom like a cartoon villain, his shoes striking the floor so hard it almost felt like the ground shook beneath them.
Near the back of the room, Chazz Princeton stood with his arms crossed, his sharp gaze flicking briefly between Mash and Lovely.
"Hey, Chazz!" Raizou suddenly waved a hand in front of him.
Chazz snapped his attention toward them with clear irritation. "What!?"
"Let's go to the card shop and draw some packs!" Taiyou said coolly while adjusting his glasses. "I've got a good feeling about my draws today- hey, Chazz?"
But Chazz wasn't listening anymore.
Without another word he stood up, pushed his chair back, and walked straight out the classroom door.
Taiyou and Raizou watched him go, exchanging uneasy glances.
"Geez…" Raizou muttered. "Ever since that incident a few weeks ago, he really became a different person…"
"Agreed." Taiyou nodded thoughtfully. "Now he's this cold, dark Princeton instead of the once arrogant, self-conceited Princeton we used to know..."
Raizou blinked in confusion. "I-Isn't that… better?"
Taiyou paused.
"…Agreed."
Soon after, several other students began filtering out of the classroom. Bastion, Alexis, and their friends left together, already discussing strategies for the upcoming promotion exams. Others lingered behind, either chatting idly or still waiting their turn to take selfies with Lovely Labrynth like she was a pop idol on a meet-and-greet tour.
Meanwhile, Syrus cautiously shuffled over to Jaden, who was still lying face-down on his desk like a fallen statue.
"Jaden…" Syrus nudged his shoulder. "Wake up. Didn't you say you wanted to buy some Drawbread with me?"
At the word food, Chumley perked up instantly. "Yeah! Let's go already!" he declared, clutching his stomach dramatically. "I'm starving!"
Ah yes.
Drawbread.
Duel Academy's most bizarre culinary invention.
It was basically a sandwich lottery. Pay five DP, reach into a basket, and pull out a random sandwich filled with whatever the cafeteria decided to shove inside that day. Sometimes you got something great like pizza or curry sandwiches. Other times you ended up with something cursed like durian and onion.
At least every Drawbread also came with a random card.
But the real prize everyone hunted for was the ultra-rare Golden Egg Sandwich.
Only one appeared in the basket each day, made from an actual golden egg laid by a very mysterious chicken somewhere on campus.
Don't ask how the hell the chicken did that. Maybe Duel Academy fed it gold leaves or something.
Whatever the reason, whoever pulled the Golden Egg Sandwich would receive a rare card worth over 300 DP.
Not that Mash cared much.
He had his system.
Still, he used to grab Drawbread for lunch sometimes… until recently.
Because for the past two weeks straight, Mash had somehow pulled nothing but shellfish Drawbread—lobster, crab, shrimp, and every other crustacean nightmare imaginable.
Which sounded amazing.
Unless you had a severe shellfish allergy.
Apparently that allergy had reincarnated into Duel Academy along with him, because he had been sent to the infirmary repeatedly for the last fourteen days.
At this point he would rather starve until dinner than risk another allergic reaction.
Meanwhile Syrus was still desperately trying to wake Jaden from his coma-like sleep.
But before he could try again, Lovely Labrynth walked over after finishing another photo session.
"Ah—uh… Miss Labrynth…" Syrus blinked nervously.
"No need to be so nervous, Sy-chan~," she said with a playful wink. "Let me help wake this dork up."
She raised one elegant hand high above her head.
Her fingers slowly curled into a fist.
BANG
"WAKEY WAKEY~!"
Her fist slammed straight down onto Jaden's skull with enough force to drive his head through the desk and crack the tile floor beneath it.
His body froze in a bizarre position—upper body buried through the desk, face pressed into the floor, legs bent awkwardly with his butt sticking up into the air.
Chumley stared.
"…Uhm," he said slowly. "I think you just permanently put Jaden to sleep…"
Lovely simply twirled her finger casually. "Just wait~"
Sure enough, a moment later Jaden's eyes fluttered open.
"Huh?" he mumbled groggily. "Why am I on the floor? And why is there a hole the shape of my head in my desk?"
He looked around the room in total confusion.
Mash smirked from his seat and folded his arms. "You should be thanking my Lovely for waking you up, Shmaden Shmuki."
"Mash…!" Jaden groaned, clearly suffering from a week's worth of accumulated nicknames.
Syrus tapped Jaden's shoulder again. "C'mon, Jay. Let's go grab some Drawbread!"
Chumley raised both fists triumphantly. "YES! I was on the brink of starvation!"
Jaden stretched his arms and yawned loudly. "Alright, alright. Let's go! Hey Mash, you coming too—"
"NO."
Jaden flinched slightly.
"Oh… right," he said awkwardly. "The whole 'Draw the Bread That Could Literally Kill Me' thing."
He tilted his head. "So… instead you're going to be doing that, huh?"
Mash let out a dark chuckle.
"Fu fu fu…" His grin stretched slowly across his face. "Yup. I'll be doing that."
He cracked his knuckles dramatically.
"And this time… I'm going to surpass my high score from last week."
His eyes gleamed.
"Get ready, my prey…"
"…because I'LL BE COMING FOR YOU!"
"GYA HO HO HO HO~!"
Lovely glanced at him with a flat, unimpressed expression.
"Darling… isn't Chazz supposed to be the edgy one?" she asked dryly. "You being this dramatic is kind of…"
"Lovely..." Mash replied bluntly. "We need a tension cliffhanger for the next chapter. The author of this book is too lazy to write more."
Jaden blinked in complete confusion. "What on earth are you two even talking about?"
Mash suddenly spun around.
"ENOUGH TALK, SHMADEN!" he declared heroically. "Come on, Lovely! Let us hunt!"
Lovely grinned and followed after him, both of them leaving the classroom with matching sinister smiles.
Back inside, the remaining trio stood awkwardly in the silence they left behind.
Jaden folded his arms with renewed determination. "Alright! Who's ready to pull some golden eggs?"
Chumley groaned loudly. "More like you getting the golden egg. You've pulled it for two weeks straight!"
Jaden laughed proudly. "Ha ha ha! What can I say? I've got the Heart of the Draw!"
Everyone laughed.
Until Syrus slowly leaned closer to Jaden.
"…Jaden."
Jaden blinked. "Yeah?"
"The back of your head is bleeding."
Syrus pointed weakly.
"…I think we should visit the clinic first."