Even though I'd agreed, I wasn't really excited about going out. I didn't know Aitsuki at all, and he didn't seem like the type of person who talked much, or who had friends in the first place.
Perhaps that's why she approached him…
Putting aside that Pandora's box in my head, I focused on the plate of food in front of me, and picked up the chopsticks next to it.
Now that I think about it, I should tell my father I'm going out.
He wasn't saying it as a future task, or something to say over the phone, since he was right there in front of me, eating lunch. In accordance with the change he promised, he'll now work Saturday mornings for half the time of his normal schedule, to which he barely dedicated any overtime.
His usually serene expression now also looked relieved and liberated, although the effects of having worked so hard for such a long time were still clear.
This change was also noticeable in today's food.
"Mmm, your Teriyaki turned out really good."
"For once, I've had time to do it."
The habit I'd picked up since the fox left home was to eat light meals, leftovers from other days, or food from the previous day that my father had made late at night for the next day. If I ate something freshly made, it would be very late, well past lunchtime.
" Oh, and before I forget,"
I called my father's attention again, as he brought some rice to his mouth. He didn't answer, giving me space to continue.
" I'm planning to go out today, around 5 p.m., someone's coming to pick me up."
My father showed a little surprise, which soon turned into satisfaction, a slight smile forming on his face. Although he did find it a bit strange that someone was picking me up.
"Who's picking you up? I can take you myself, if it's too much trouble."
"Aitsuki, we're meeting up to go to the pool hall."
" Have you already gotten your driver's license?"
"Yes, it surprised me too."
"That's good. At 18… young people grow up so fast."
My father didn't continue the conversation, as if he considered it finished, but I decided to give him more details, just in case. I shouldn't go on too long, though; at this rate, I won't eat.
" I'm also going out for dinner, I'm telling you so you don't have to cook so much."
"I was planning to use yesterday's leftovers for dinner, so it's fine. Do you have any money?"
" No, but—"
"I'll give it to you after we eat, then."
I was about to tell her that Aitsuki would pay for dinner, but she didn't let me finish. I also said the "but" a little too quietly. I was embarrassed to say that she was going to pay.
After that, we continued eating in silence for a while, without the television on in the background or anything like that; we are used to eating without anything on, and for me at least, it would be a nuisance.
The only downside to that is that I have no idea what's going on in the country or the world, since that would be the only time I would hear the news.
"And, Riku, are you planning on getting your driver's license?"
Just before we finished, my father brought up a topic seemingly unrelated to what we had discussed earlier, but he must have thought of it after learning that Aitsuki drives.
"It's still too early to ask those things…"
"That may be the case now, but you have to start getting an idea of the future sooner or later."
The future. It was something I didn't usually bother thinking about, and especially now it was something I wasn't interested in at all. I'm aware of how young I still am; I don't need to think about the future.
"I'm still not sure. I'll try to think about it when I'm older."
I dodged the question as best I could, of course, by lying. For my part, and for the time being, I didn't want to get my driver's license. The mere thought of driving already terrified me, and now Otsuki's story had only intensified that fear.
When the time is right, I'll make my final decision. Both about this and my studies. It's not like I have to make any major decisions yet.
Having finished the dish, I put it in the dishwasher, left the chopsticks in the sink, and went straight up to my room. I still had about four hours before I had to leave.
I wasted most of it on the computer, trying out passwords and reading. Around 5:00, I decided to take a shower, first choosing what to wear. That's when I realized all I had were hoodies, and honestly, I was expecting Aitsuki to be super stylish, without any prior experience.
It's not like I could conjure up other kinds of clothes, and even if I could, I wouldn't know what to make appear. If I were to buy more clothes, I'd like to go with someone who knows what they're talking about.
As for the shower, I'd like to have a hair conditioner; my hair always ends up feeling a bit strange, maybe rough. I didn't listen to music while I showered.
Shortly after I'd gotten ready, wearing just a beige sweatshirt and sweatpants, my phone started ringing. I didn't bother answering it. When I got to the entrance, I remembered to do one last thing.
"Dad, I'm going out."
"Have a good trip."
The car that was waiting for me was not at all what a girl her age should have. This was the kind of car you buy when you move out on your own.
I turned the car around so I could sit in the front seat, waving to Aitsuki through the window.
"Hello," she said, in her usual passive and neutral tone. It had been a long time since she had heard him speak. She remembered him as even more 'adolescent' than he is now.
Contrary to my expectations, she was wearing a pale lilac turtleneck sweater with light blue jeans, which softened her 'smart girl' aura that you might expect from any girl with long hair, glasses, and piercing eyes.
I put on my seatbelt, "Hello…"
" Thanks for coming, you look a little tired."
"Tired? Not at all."
I stopped confronting him when he mentioned his thanks, mainly so he wouldn't notice even more that I wasn't exactly in the mood to go out. I've forced myself as much as possible to be in this car.
Aitsuki started driving.I thought it was going to be a quiet trip, but she tried to make a little conversation while driving, even though she hadn't been driving for even a year.
"I had booked a place at a games establishment to play billiards, and two friends signed up at first, but then they both had to cancel."
"It's shameful that they dumped you…"
The thought of two friends canceling plans I'd made and then backing out immediately angered me, though I quickly retracted my statement. She ignored it.
"It wasn't that, it was sudden. The girl in my class said her boyfriend had asked her out, and I didn't care about letting her go. The other one had forgotten she had to retake an exam."
"I understand about the exams, but I think it's a bit rude that she canceled on you to go out with her boyfriend, especially since you had planned it first."
As much as my anger was quite unjustified, and they had their reasons, I wasn't going to pretend that I thought it was okay to do something so selfish.
"I could have told her no, but I prefer that she be with her boyfriend."
" Aren't you being too nice to her?"
"She deserves it, you'd know that if you knew her. Besides, she's seen my face plenty of times."
Aitsuki said it with such ease and confidence that I couldn't help but believe her. I thought they would be friends for a very, very long time, something I could never have imagined, especially coming from her.
"When did you meet her?", and that's exactly what I thought, I wanted to confirm.
"Well, I've known Miyu, the one with the boyfriend, since sixth grade, and the one who has to recover, Gucch- I mean, Shoko, for 3 years."
I did the mental math for how long Aitsuki had known this Miyu girl, and the total surprised me. Although, just saying 'elementary school' made me expect something significant. The other one didn't really matter to me.
"For the last 7 years?"
"Yes. She's the only friend I made in elementary school that I still talk to."
As sad as that may sound, it's normal to have to stop talking to your friends. I find it ridiculous that I didn't understand that before. I must have been too blinded by the fear of being alone.
Even she, someone who seems so reserved and introverted… made me feel bad, something I tried to hide by looking out the left car window. Even so, I couldn't escape her voice.
"Sorry if I'm bothering you, but what about you?"
"Uh, right now..."
The first thing it did was make me uncomfortable. Then that emptiness returned, the same emptiness I felt every time I thought about it, about them, about her. About everyone, at this point. I tried to focus on what I was doing right then as best I could.
"I've never had friends, but I've been fine. You don't need to worry."
"If you tell me something like that now, I doubt I can help but worry."
"Is it such a big problem not having friends?"
And I soon reached my limit. I didn't think about what I said, I just reacted to what I heard like a child, and I regretted it, much later than before.
"No, it's not a problem, and I mean it. I know there are people who aren't interested in or don't need to have friends. I'm just surprised that you're like that. Can I believe you when you say you're 'fine'?"
"Of course you can."
" But should I?"
"Of course you should."
That's how I killed the conversation. I spent the rest of the trip looking at the scenery out the window, and luckily for me, she didn't try to bring up a new topic of conversation.
We soon entered the city, which for some reason I didn't like very much. Seeing so many people in the street overwhelmed me, even though I was inside a car.
I've always preferred a more rural environment, though not necessarily shacks or thatched houses; something like the area where I live is best. Perhaps it's because I've grown accustomed to living there my whole life.
Putting my thoughts aside, with the infallible help of Doodle Maps™ she managed to take us to the place where she had booked the pool table.
It was one establishment among hundreds, standing out in the same way as the rest, although it was the only one fulfilling its function.
Although its appearance didn't tell me it was a busy place, it was the fact that I had to book a table to play pool. I never would have imagined that it was such a popular game that there was a queue to play it. All those expectations were instantly shattered.
"Yes, you can sit at any table you like. Give me your name and I'll put you on the list."
I expected to be guided from the entrance by people in suits, to be served a drink, and to be shown our pool table, one of thousands already occupied.
But this is just like any other place, why would you need a reservation?! That must have been the first time anyone's ever approached the counter where they keep all the rewards and asked something like that. And they didn't even mention anything about 'reservations,' if such a thing even exists!
I think my face said it all. I had no experience playing pool either, but I was sure this was a place where you didn't need to book anything. At least, not when it came to pool.
"I kept it just in case," Aitsuki said, trying to deflect the mockery that was somehow simmering deep inside me. I wasn't embarrassed at all.
Having been indirectly humiliated by her, we both went to the corner where they had set up their makeshift pool table. Even though it was a place like any other, this corner stood out from the rest.
They had the vibe I was imagining, something classier than usual, leaving behind that frenetic aesthetic that arcades often have. Plus, next to the bowling alley, it was close to the bar.
It was funny that there was nobody in the pool hall, because the rest of the place was packed. There wasn't a single free spot in the bowling alley.
"Do you want something to drink?" Aitsuki asked me as I went to get the tacos and chalk.
"I don't feel like it right now."
And without further ado, she handed me one of the blocks, having already put down all the necessary chalk.
" How long are we going to be here? I don't want to make you spend too much money."
"As long as we want."
She took the balls from the drawer under the table two at a time and placed them on it. I took the opportunity to grab the triangle, which was hanging on the wall near me, and bring it to the table to start arranging the balls.
Once everything was ready, she turned to look at me.
" Do you want to break it?"
"But I don't know how to play."
"True."
Her expression turned a little more serious when she remembered I had no idea what to do, and that made me tense up. I started to feel like a nuisance.
" The most important thing is knowing how to use the cue. You have to try to keep it as stable as possible when you're going to make any shot, and that's why you should hold it with your dominant hand. You use your other hand to rest the tip of the cue on, and that way you prevent it from moving."
As he explained the basics, Aitsuki demonstrated. I ignored the fact that he was leaning forward to hold the cue and paid attention to his explanation.
" I thought you couldn't put your hand on the green when you hit the ball."
"As far as I know, you can, as long as you don't touch any other balls with it. Otherwise, there's no way the cue will stay straight."
In her demonstration, she held the tip of the cue between her index and middle fingers of her left hand, with the latter behind the white ball.
" And that's enough?"
"Everyone has their own way of holding the tip. I do it like this, but if you find another way that's comfortable for you…"
She handed me the cue, and I tried her method immediately. It felt strange to hold such a long stick with smooth edges, and I didn't dislike the way Aitsuki showed me. I decided to give it a go.
"You don't have to hit it too hard in general. If you overdo it, you might miss your target, or even knock the ball off the table."
He sounded like he had experience with that.
I'll be careful , I told myself, as I replied with a simple "mhm."
I focused on the cue ball. I tried to hit it gently, so nothing would happen, so I wouldn't mess it up.
Tac .
…Well, at least it was played .
"You don't have to play so lightly, otherwise, well, that's what happens. You just have to get used to it."
"You talk like you've played a lot."
"I doubt he's played more than twenty times."
Well, that doesn't seem like a small amount to me.
Since I didn't score, I assumed that was the end of my turn. I gave Aitsuki space to hit the ball.
" And what's the goal? Do I just have to sink a lot of balls and that's it?"
As she prepared her shot, she explained it to me.
"Yes, although only one type. There are flat balls and striped balls. The first one to pocket one of the two types keeps that one, the other keeps the other. When you pocket all the balls of your type, it's your turn to pocket the black ball, the 8 ball."
"There isn't a black striped one…"
Click!
When she took her shot, the cue ball veered off course due to a slight slip on her part and struck the black ball directly. It didn't go into any pocket and remained at one end of the table, far from them. She sighed.
"The black ball counts for both types, and doesn't count as either until then. If the first ball you hit with the cue ball is one that isn't your type or the black ball, or if you don't hit anything, it's as if you committed a foul. Normally people let you put the cue ball in the break area, but I usually give an extra turn."
"What if I pocket the black ball too early? Or the white one?"
" If you pocket the black ball like that, you lose. If you pocket the white ball, you place it in the break zone, behind where you hit it before."
I approached the white ball again, this time with more confidence, since I had an extra shot if I missed. I saw a striped ball near a pocket, so I decided to go for it.
Tap!
I gave it a little too little again, but I managed to get it in.
" So, now I'm going with stripes."
"Yes, and since you've made one of your balls, you get an extra turn."
"Extra extra?"
"Extra."
"Jo."
From that moment on, I began to understand how the game worked, and I was able to resolve any doubts I had as I played. The game progressed, and it wasn't long before I was completely humiliated.
"I only got in 2 balls… And one of them was yours…"
Defeated and humiliated. There was no better word to describe how I felt.
"It's okay, it's your first game, you didn't do badly."
I had learned to play, but I hadn't achieved much. The little progress I made I had to undo by sinking one of his balls. I was ashamed and furious at being so bad.
"I want to play again."
"Mhm. You seem motivated."
It was a silly game I'd only signed up for because I'd been bribed, but now it was the only thing I wanted to do.
Since for once this week I really want to do something, I'm going to do it right.
Two games later, and I still hadn't made much progress.