"Master, it's time to wake up. Your mother said you need to get ready, or you'll be late for breakfast. Lady Komari will eat your share, and then you'll have to go to school on an empty stomach," Ayano said, her voice as calm as ever.
Ugh. Of course she'd say that. The ultimate threat: breakfast theft.
"Okay, Ayano… just five more minutes," I groaned, rolling over and hugging my blanket like it was my last lifeline.
Seriously, why does it have to be so early? If there's one thing I hate about being a kid again, it's school. And me? An introvert? Yeah, school might as well be a torture chamber with crayons.
Anyway, about yesterday… nothing happened. And I mean nothing. My "grand adventure" was basically me walking in circles because shocker I suck at directions. Not like it matters. I'm five. No one in their right mind is gonna let a kid my age just waltz around unsupervised to who-knows-where. So, yeah. My so-called "quest" ended up being about as thrilling as watching paint dry.
Eventually, I peeled myself out of bed. With Ayano's help, of course because let's be real, without her I'd still be upstairs bargaining for "five more minutes" until noon.
Dragging my feet, I shuffled downstairs. "Morning, Mom… morning, Dad," I muttered meekly.
"Morning to you too," Mom replied with a smile. "Make sure you wash up properly. You must be tired after yesterday. Honestly, what made you want to go out? You hate going out."
Yeah, no kidding. Even I don't know what came over me. But I couldn't exactly say, 'Oh, you know, just chasing down a system-generated mission like some kind of video game protagonist.'
"Well, sometimes I just need some air," I said, trying to sound casual. "Can't stay inside all the time… though, honestly, that does sound nice."
Mom narrowed her eyes. Suspicion level: high."Sure, sweetie. If that's what you say."
…Great. Now she thinks I'm plotting something. Which, to be fair, I kinda am.
"What? Don't look at me like that. I just thought going out for a bit would be a nice change of pace. Plus, didn't you say I needed to go out more? Well, I'm doing what you said."
"…Yes, I did, but it's you, honey. Remember the last time we tried getting you to go out?" Mom said, trying to remind me.
Oh boy, here we go… bringing up that incident again.I said I was sorry Honestly, this is why I hate going out in the first place. The world just keeps proving me right.
/Flashback/
"I don't care what you have to do to find him—lock down the entire premises if you have to, but find him!" my father, Arman, roared at the guards, his voice shaking the mansion walls.
Komari tilted her head, utterly baffled. "Mom, isn't this… a lot? Why can't Onii-chan just stay inside like always?" she asked, tugging at Mother's sleeve.
Mother pressed a hand to her forehead with a long sigh. "Because, sweetie, this is a special gathering we need to attend. Your brother already missed the last important one because of his antics… and it would seem he's gotten more crafty."
Meanwhile, I was tucked away in a small hideout in the wall, trying to go back to sleep. Thank you, Parker Rooney, for the amazing idea, I thought smugly, almost like I'd just pulled off some pro-level stealth move in a game.
/End Flashback/
"And I said I was sorry, didn't I? Besides, who even wants to go to those fancy, pansy, stuck-up parties anyway?" I muttered under my breath. "Especially with those kids, parading around with their golden spoons shoved in their mouths, all like" I puffed out my chest and pitched my voice into the most obnoxious tone I could muster. "'My father is rich.'" I tilted my head back smugly and added, "'I can buy you if I so please.'"
Just remembering their smug little faces made me want to gag.
Mother pressed her hand to her forehead, sighing as though she'd aged ten years in a single moment. "Rudra… must you always make things so difficult? These gatherings aren't about showing off wealth. They're about our family's standing. If you keep skipping them, people will start to wonder what's wrong with you and with us."
"But Mom," I muttered, sinking further into my spot, "wouldn't it reflect worse if I went and fell asleep in the middle of everything? Or worse, if I snapped at some arrogant brat?"
Her lips tightened. For a moment, I thought she might let it slide like usual, but then her tone sharpened."Enough, Rudra. Since we're already on this topic, let me make it clear—there's another gathering coming up soon, and you will be going to this one."
I groaned, dragging a hand down my face. "What? Can't I just not go? Can't—" I stopped mid-complaint, a thought clicking in my head. Wait. Didn't the quest say to find something interesting to spice up my life? But what exactly counts as 'interesting'? Does suffering through a noble party count?
I slumped back in defeat, shoulders heavy. "…No, y'know what, fine. I'll go," I muttered, resigning myself to my fate. Better to take the loss now than trigger Mom's full wrath. Besides, maybe the system has some plan behind this.
Just when I finally resigned myself to fate, out of the corner of my eye I spotted a little gremlin—otherwise known as Komari—sneaking bites off my plate. By the time I registered what she was doing, my breakfast was practically gone.
She blinked up at me, cheeks puffed full like a squirrel. "Eh? I wasn't stealing… I was just helping you, Onii-chan. You eat too slow."
Great. The day just started, and it already sucks.
"Well, since that matter has been settled, it's time for school."
Fuck. I forgot about that.Just when I thought I'd survived one battle, she drops the real nuke on me school.The bane of my existence. The eternal prison. The one place even regeneration can't save me from.
"Alright, class, settle down! Today we are—"
Ugh.Here we go again. Another day, another episode of Please Let Me Sleep Instead.
Great Sage, can't you just… I don't know, auto-pilot school for me?
[{Negative}]
Traitor.
"Rudra! Are you paying attention?,Class just started and you're the first on the chopping block. Come up here and solve this."
Of course.Of course I am.
"Ok",damn it why math wait no I shouldn't fret this first grade math shouldn't be difficult
(7 − 3) + (6 − 2) + (5 − 1) =
…...Yeah nope. Blank. Absolute blank.Why is it always math? My old life didn't prepare me for this...oh wait it did
Great Sage, help.
[{Answer: 12}]
Bless this cheat code of a skill.
I wrote 12 on the board like I definitely knew it from the start and walked back to my seat, pretending I hadn't just panicked over something a toddler could probably solve.
The teacher blinked, surprised I didn't embarrass myself."Correct… Good job, Rudra?"
"Hehe thanks,great sage."I say smugly to myself,but apparently too loudly because the teacher heard me."what was that,Rudra? great sage, who are you talking to? are you cheating?"
Ah shit, did I say that out loud"ah no,I didn't,and by great sage,I uh...mean you?"
"…Hallway, Rudra. I'm not dealing with your antics today."
"What? Come on, that's hardly a reason—"
"Hallway."
"…Okay, sensei."
I slipped out of the classroom with a sigh. Damn it.At least now I didn't have to listen to that mind-numbing lecture. Silver linings, I guess.
I leaned against the wall, half-listening through the door when—
"Ahh, come on! It wasn't on purpose! It was the wind! The wind blew her skirt up, not me!"
…Wow.I cracked one eye open.
"Enough of your nonsense, Issei. Hallway. Now!"
SLAM.
A moment later, the door flew open and a boy stumbled out, arms crossed and pouting like the world had personally wronged him.
"Come on… fine. Hmph."
He stopped when he noticed me.
We stared at each other for a second.
"Ah… uh, h-hello. My name's Issei. Sorry about that, you probably heard all the yelling…"
He glanced back at the classroom door like it might explode again.
I stared at him for a second like actually glanced at him properly this time.
Brown hair. Dumb smile. Pervert aura so strong it could be a passive skill now. Either he's a henati protagonist or he's the grabbing dragon himself, Issei Hyoudou. The walking ecchi protagonist
"Rudra," I said simply.
The boy blinked at me like I'd just handed him a sacred artifact instead of a name.
And then—
[Mission][Find something interesting to do.]Description: Things have been stagnant since your rebirth. It's time for a change. Go out there and find something interesting to do with your life.Rewards: Shop unlocked, 100 SP.
…
Oh, come on.
"This doesn't count? How does this not count?"
[{Negative}][The action must hold long-term significance to your life.]
I stared at Issei.
Then back at the floating blue window only I could see.
"And this doesn't qualify? That's Issei Hyoudou. The future King of Monkeys himself."
Issei scratched his head. "Uh… are you okay? you've been staring at me for a while now.'
"Define okay."
Honestly.Future Dragon Emperor. Walking disaster magnet. Pervert extraordinaire.If that's not "interesting," I don't know what is.
[{Insufficient narrative impact detected. Try harder.}]
"…You're mocking me now, aren't you?"
[After School]
RING!RING!RING!
"Ugh… finally. I'm out of that hell. I can finally go home and take a nap."
Sigh.
But now that I think about it, there's still that dumb mission. Seriously, how did that mon— I mean, Issei not count? What do you mean it has to hold significant meaning to my life? What meaning even—
…Nah. Forget it. I just want a nap.
"Great Sage, is there a time limit on the quest? Like penalties or something?"
…Wait.Why am I even asking about punishments?
[Response: Affirmative.]
[Mission Time Limit: 30 days.]
[Failure Condition: Mission incomplete.]
[Penalty: Minor inconveniences will be applied.]
"…That sounds vague."
[Explanation: Precise prediction unavailable. Probability-based interference will occur.]
That sounded even worse.
"So basically my life gets slightly more annoying until I complete it."
[Conclusion: Accurate.]
"…You're doing that on purpose."
[Response: Negative.]
Yeah, I don't believe that for a second.
Issei and Irina kept talking as they walked ahead, their voices fading into the afternoon noise of students leaving the school. I slowed down a bit, letting the crowd pass me.
Honestly… I just wanted my bed.
"Great Sage."
[{Yes.}]
"…Remind me later about the quest. Like… way later."
[{Reminder scheduled. However, analysis suggests the target 'Issei Hyoudou' has a high probability of becoming significant to your life.}
I frowned.
"…How high?"
[{Insufficient data. However, probability is rising.}]
Great. Fantastic. not sure how I feel about getting involved with a monkey.
I finally reached my house, dropped my bag, and collapsed onto my bed.
"Great Sage, wake me up if the world ends or something."
[{Acknowledged. Monitoring for: World-ending events, demonic activity, divine interference, or mission-related triggers.}]
"…Wait what was that second one—"
Sleep took me instantly.
Five seconds later:
[{Notice: Mission target approaching user's residence.}