Believe it or not, I was in fact able to get the blueprints of the museum from a local public library. Kinda weird, but I'm not gonna complain. Helped me out a ton. I did resort to claiming to be an architect in order to avert any suspicion, but ehh it's not a big issue.
The biggest issue with my planning came with figuring out how the hell I'm gonna get into the vault. Getting into the museum should be fine, I'm probably just gonna do it as everybody else does, go through the front and security. The vault itself is probably gonna be a bit harder to get into. From the looks of it, I'll have to get into the staff-only area, which is behind electronic doors, and then I'll have to get into the specific vault with the hammer, and I'm pretty sure the vaults are gonna be much more secure. With a much more secure door and electronically locked containers for the artifacts, it will really be a pain to get everything out.
Fortunately, with magick and prep time, I can do anything. I could even take on Superman if I really want to. Of course, I'm not planning on doing that; I don't want to be on the entire Justice League's shit list. But I mean the point stands.
Either way, I did come up with an amazing and pretty simple plan.
I used a simple disguise spell to disguise myself as Bruce Wayne if he were a blonde frat bro douchebag. So, instead of my normal face, green eyes, and long brown hair. I currently have a handsome, clean-cut square jaw with a resting douchebag smile, piercing blue eyes, and short, cropped strawberry blonde hair. So basically, I look nothing like my normal self.
Why did I choose Bruce Wayne as the basis for my disguise? Simple. In the words of Lonnie Pratchet, a Glasswalker(?) werewolf I hooked up with once: 'All billionaires are evil and agents of the Wyrm'. Now I'm not super sure what the Wyrm is exactly, from what I gathered, it's sort of the werewolf version of a Nephandus? Either way, I buy it. There is no way that Bruce Wayne can adopt so many kids and not have anything suspicious going on. I mean, just think about it. One of his kids died in a car accident when he was around seventeen, which is kind of suspicious and all. The weird thing is, some of the online forums I browse say that a funerary worker claims that the body showed signs of being beaten to death. Plus, I remember seeing on the news reports of the grave being dug up and the body not being there.
So I'm thinking this. Jason, I think that's the one, was planning on telling the press about Bruce Wayne's preference for young boys after he got dropped due to being a bit too old for Wayne's taste, and then Bruce found out and had Jason killed. It all makes sense, right?
Even if he isn't a pedophile, I still don't mind slightly messing with his rep by having his look-alike rob a museum.
No matter Wayne's preferred age for his encounters, what currently matters is the fact that I'm currently driving from my hotel to the Smithsonian in my car, which is currently under an Illusion spell as well. While my car usually looks like a crappy '90s sedan, it currently looks like a high-end 2015 car of some upper-class brand. The best part of the illusion is the license plate. Instead of seeing my normal license plate, people are gonna see the license plate for one of Lex Luthor's many cars. I believe specifically a high-end BMW that Lex drove to some red carpet event. Though I could be wrong, all I really know about the car is that I found a picture of the plate on a celebrity-watching website.
Either way, I got a very clear separation between the person robbing the museum and my normal self. No similarities at all.
My equipment for the heist is pretty nice and simple, with only a few items. One homemade gold ring, enchanted with a basic electrical output enchant that should work wonders for opening any electronic locks. A bag with two enchantments, one to make it weigh the same as it does empty, no matter what's inside, and the other to help preserve its contents so they don't get damaged when I escape. The creme de la creme of the enchanted equipment is probably my best in a couple of lifetimes: a simple gold necklace that I enchanted with a high-quality invisibility spell. Normally, when I cast an invisibility spell, the warping of the light around me causes me to go blind, but this time I managed to figure out a way to let me see while still being invisible. Not really sure how I did it, but I did it. Though admittedly, the enchant will only last a bit, maybe only an hour.
I pull into the parking lot of the museum and get out of my car. The museum looks like every federal building in DC, which means it's a prime example of the Neoclassical and Greek Revival movement. The building is made out of white stone, and it has plenty of pillars in the entrance.
I start walking towards the main entrance before I freeze. Wouldn't it be more efficient to go through one of the employee entrances? I could just use the invis enchantment and get to the vault that way…yeah, that's probably easier. Not sure why I didn't think of that until now. I mean, sure, the necklace got a time limit of an hour, but I doubt it will take a whole hour to get the hammer.
I open up the copy of the map I got on my phone. The employee's entrance that's closest to the vault I want is towards the back of the building, which makes sense. Why would the vaults be near the front?
Stepping onto the cement sidewalk that wraps around the building, I start heading for the back of the building. Around the museum, there's plenty of plant life, a good amount of trees, and a nice amount of grass, which means even in the summer sun, it's not sweltering. There is no visible external security, which makes sense, I guess. Most of the security is probably on the inside, so they can monitor guests and the artifacts themselves, which makes sense.
Once I reach the back entrance, I stop and grasp the gold necklace in my hand. I mutter the activation incantation "aóratos."
With that, I disappear, even to my own eyes. Where once was a handsome young man now stands nothing.
Perfect.
I approach the electronically locked door and grab the handle. "ilektrikó anoichtó." I mutter under my breath as I activate the enchanted ring. A small arc of blue electricity moves from the ring and into the door. I twist the doorknob and push the door. It swings open with little resistance.
I step into the museum and shut the door behind me.
I'm in a mostly empty corridor. Plain white painted walls and some standard corporate business carpet are the only things here, save the doors on the side. The vault I want is Vault 607, which I think is past the first two corners.
I start walking to the vault. The hallway's not super long, so I pass the first corner pretty quickly. The walk is pretty boring, actually. I expected there to be at least one employee walking about, but nope, not one. Which is pretty good for me.
I get to vault 607. It's a much heavier-duty door than the entrance. Looks to be at least two inches thick and made of some sort of metal, maybe steel. I put my hands on the security keypad and mutter the incantation "ilektrikó anoichtó."
With a beep, the vault door starts to open, revealing a sterile white interior with several electronically locked, climate-controlled shelves lining the walls.
I step into the vault and start looking through the shelves. Most of the stuff is pretty simple: small figurines, pottery shards, swords, shields, and armor. But on the middle shelf on the right wall, I find the hammer nestled right next to a small figurine and a pottery shard depicting the minotaur.
I grab the handle and mutter the incantation, and with a beep just like the vault door, I pull open the cabinet. Gently picking up the well-worn hammer, I carefully place it in the small bag before closing it tightly. Shutting the cabinet, I leave the vault, closing the vault door as well.
I break into a light jog as I head back to the exit, since I kind of want to get out of here before my luck takes a turn for the worse.
No security or staff rush me as I approach the door, so I let out a small breath. Looks like I'm in the clear. A masterly pulled off heist.
I quickly push open the door and step back out into the sunlight and fresh air of DC.
Unfortunately, any enjoyment of the sun is ruined by who is currently standing on the grass a meter or two in front of me.
Wonder Woman.
"Fuck"