My head burns, iron spilling into my throat and my nails are chipped. It's cold, not like death but like the winter. I can still feel warmth in my heart but it's dim and my scales hurt.
My skull is spinning and my body aches physically, mentally, I laugh at the fact that I'm in this situation. I wish I were dead right now but I'm not. Even when I was mostly human I wished I were dead yet I'm still here and I can't stop finding it humorous.
I wanted to stop my suffering so bad but it didn't even really erase anything but the memories, and the pain is still there. I still feel hollow inside yet the only difference is I am actually alone in this. I shake my head trying to pull myself up onto a rock but I slip back into the water.
Bruised scales, scraping amongst the hard concrete-like material, making me wince. It hurts to move, yet I try to do it again anyway.
Tears slipping from my eyelids as I try to use my back scales to hoist myself up but they barely flapped. Seeming exhausted from my early encounter of snagging a school of flying fish, so much that got me.
I blink back, wiping the dripping crimson from my forehead, and soon discover I also have a small dent as well.
"Ouch." I state, "That's unfortunate." I say to myself as I let my head lie in the water, swirls of rich liquid swirling around me and I start to see circles in the sky.
They're pretty almost reminding me of stars, but they are not and I start to feel tired again, sleep heavy on my eyes as I can't help but close them. I might be safe for now but still, death is on my radar, nearly avoiding it won't turn my fate around but until it comes I'll do my best to survive.
Even if the pain is unbearable, as long as my eyes are open I will do my best to form the path I've always envisioned, even if death lies at the end of it.
I manage to close my eyes, my body going limp as I hear a familiar laughter in my ears, someone pulling me up and taking me somewhere.
Home maybe?
I don't really have much of that anymore, but the arms of this person are comforting, almost like I have nothing to worry about for just a moment, and it makes me shed a tear.
I don't even care who it is, as long as I'm not alone anymore, it might seem like I enjoy my solo adventures and wish to never rejoin society. But the truth is I really just want to belong, to fit into a place where they accept me for being lazy or for just being alive another day.
It always seems like we have to be preoccupied with something to be useful, and I don't agree with that. Why do I have to make myself do something to look like the rest?
We soon reach a stopping point and they set my body down, another person sitting next to me as I watch with blurry vision as they talk. I can't really understand what they are saying but it seems important, hands being thrown in the air as the person next to me frowns.
Raising a hand up with a weird rock in their hand, and it illuminates a red substance, so bright that I have to shut my eyes just to not go blind.
"Find me." I hear faintly, as the person next to me gets up in leaves, a trail of blood following them as they fade into the distance.
"Who-", I attempt to reach out but I grasp at nothing, my head starting to spin again as my throat starts to dry up. My body heaving forward and the next thing I know, the fish from earlier is leaving my stomach. Mashed up pieces of flesh, seaweed, and saltwater crashing into the water in front of me. My neck feeling sore and my mouth burns like acid, I heave a few more times before nothing else comes out and in disgust I attempt to splash the puke away.
"Fuck", I mumble as liquid seeps down my eyes, I don't know how much pathetic I could get. Running into something that nearly kills me and then nearly getting eaten by an unsuspecting shark? At least, what I believe was a shark, no laughter can no longer pity me as the waterworks fill my face. I try to lick some off but most of it just makes me spit it out in defeat, my eyes searching this small space for some sort of relief but it's mostly just rock.
I shake my head, letting what's left of my nails sink into my face, for I would rather bleed than cry about my pity. For tears won't change a thing about my situation and only makes it harder to see, I mean at this point I probably have a bruised tail and mild concussion. Not to mention the other sore spots that I fail to bring up.
Just pitiful, I spit as that stupid puke tries to make its way back to me and in annoyance I splash it away again, this time getting some of it on my arm.
It smells like week old trash and almost makes me sick looking at it, so I turn away and use the water around me to wipe it off. It's definitely going to leave a light smell but at this point that's the least of my problems.
HOOOOOOONKKKKKKK!
My eye starts to twitch and I let out a shriek of my own quickly diving into the water, my tail thrashing and my gills throb at the loud noise.
While underwater, I look for a way back into the open water but all I see is bubbles, and I scratch at what I can of my skin as I scream out again. The noise burns my ears and makes my teeth ring, making me feel even more dizzy than I did before.
The icky sickness pouring in again as I use whatever I can to make the echoing in my head stop, my hands drawing back like a bow as I heave as much water forward. Sending it crashing through the rocks as what's left of my energy knocks me to the side. That deep crimson leaking faster into the water but at least this time I can see the open water again.