Maybe it was all my fault and maybe I was the problem all along, if I was half of a decent son maybe I wouldn't be in this mess.
Trapped in this cage, feeling all alone as a I am ridiculed by this fish with one arm, just great, it makes me wonder where I went wrong. Because at times it seems like I am always doing something, from becoming a siren to causing mayhem.
Do I not know how to cause chaos?
I stare at the bars and imagine myself when I was younger, carefree, and simple.
Didn't think too much back then and I was young enough not to let my mistakes affect my whole life. It makes me wonder, why did I take it all for granted? Take my friends for granted when we didn't have much time left, especially after Kai disappeared.
Everything changed when he left but was he really there to begin with? Was I even paying attention enough to notice he might have been calling for help? All those times he wanted his dad to just be there, and I wasn't any better.
I would complain about my parents but atleast a part of them was there, it's just the difference is I don't think they wanted me there as their child but as a pawn. A security for my father's inheritance, one child is all it took and it just so happened to be me. Unlucky me.
Kai however did have parents that cared about him, they were just so busy arguing sometimes that they would forget. Forget that he was listening, forget that he was growing older and couldn't tolerate it much more.
His smile faded quicker than mine and his shoulders would slouch, his eyes carrying this deep sadness that didn't go away even when we were around.
At times, I would think he would eventually come around but he didn't and when he faded away eventually it wasn't long before I followed.
A stream of depressed people following the line of salt water, burdened by the seed of life and thinking a rebirth would help.
But no matter where you go, your problems will always follow, whether you're a sea creature or not.
I zone back into reality and stare at the blue-haired, sea creature, their long nails playing with the dog tag in their hand and teeth licking over their lips. Sadness brews in their chest, yet they obviously don't talk about it. Instead they wait, for the him they been boosting about.
But who knows if he will even come? In truth I am not sure if Serina is coming for me but at least I hope she will, or think about me. I think about her but maybe because I wanted to hold onto some decent memories before most of it was washed away, her and a few others are all I can think about. So I let it preoccupy my mind as I sit in this ocean, part of me hungry and the other confused.
Wondering how I let it get this bad, but I guess it could be worse, I could be fighting not to have a hook in my throat but instead I am sitting in a slightly uncomfortable cage. Not the worst but not the best either.
I try to form conversation again, "So, what do you remember about the surface?"
"Fuck off, injured fish."
"I am probably gonna die soon right? Might as well indulge me in a story."
"You don't deserve a story."
Something in my chest hit hard when they said that, my hands going immediately to the bars to shake them.
"Listen!"
Shake!
"I know I don't deserve a lot but please-!"
Shake!
I plead in desperation,"At least tell me something, talk to me, I am dying in here."
"Good, now you know how I feel and if you want story, tell yourself one."
I sink to the bottom of the floor of my small cell and mumble, "At least, Serina would tell me a story, something."
The blue-haired, sea creature tilted their head and started to smile, which made me scoot back a bit.
"Serina? That name sounds familiar."
"You probably don't know her and you don't want to meet her."
"Why?"
"Because she would kick your ass, and she's got a good song."
"Song? So, she is a Siren?"
I shut my lips and the blue-haired siren waved their finger in the air, grabbing at the bars.
"You want to eat later right? Keep talking!"
"Why should I? You don't even want to conversate anyway, you just want information."
"Damn right, I barely knew of you until I saw you, if there are more I need to know."
"Why so your monster can control or kill them?! No thanks, you will see her if she comes for me, otherwise you can forget it."
They twirled their hair in their finger and swallowed, seeming unsure what to say, their nail running down the coral of the cell.
"I wonder, if she would be willing to trade for you."
"Trade?"
"If she's coming for you, I'm not going to just let you go, she has to trade something good."
"I am a person you know."
"Not anymore, you are a siren, you prey, and turn other humans into fish-like people, you can't debate your humanity anymore."
"I still feel just like humans do, might not exactly have all my memories but I have something."
"Sure, you can say that."
They used their nail to pick at their teeth and gave me a toothy smile, "Well, I'm going to go get some food, if you want any then you will talk or get eaten either way."
They swam around the cage and let their tail hit the edge, the whole coral shaking for a bit before it steadied.
"Should hold until I get back and if you escape I can just find you again so.."
They swam to the front of the cage and waved, "Heal up injured fish or don't, I don't really care if you live or croak but it's better for me if you stay awake for a bit."
They turned their back to me and pushed off, leaving a trail of bubbles as they disappeared into the ocean.