Riven's POV
I read the message standing in my office with the afternoon sun coming through the windows.
I read it once.
Then I read it again because the words might change if I look at them from a different angle. They don't.
Then I read it a third time because understanding takes time and my brain is moving slow.
Kaela is pregnant.
She is with Zane Ashford.
She left willingly.
The words sit on the page in black ink and they don't change no matter how many times my eyes move across them. The message is from a council elder who saw her leaving Greywater. Pregnant. Walking beside an Ashford Alpha. Looking alive in a way she never looked in Ironveil.
Something inside me that I locked down tight the night of the rejection ceremony cracks open.
I didn't expect this.
I thought I'd made peace with what happened. I told myself the rejection was necessary. I told myself Kaela deserved someone better than me anyway. I told myself that Petra was the right choice for Ironveil's future.
I lied to myself so completely that I almost believed it.
But reading this message breaks all of those lies open.
I feel something that I don't have a name for. It's not love because I made myself stop loving her. It's not jealousy because I gave up the right to care who she's with. It's not pain because pain is too simple for what's happening inside my chest.
It's the knowledge that I made the worst decision of my life and someone else is living the consequences with her.
My hand shakes while I'm holding the letter.
I put it in my desk drawer and I lock the drawer because if anyone sees this, it becomes a problem. It becomes evidence that the Alpha who rejected his mate is now losing control over the fact that she's gone. It becomes proof that I made a choice based on politics instead of my own heart.
And now she's carrying Ashford's child.
I leave my office and I move through the pack house like I'm moving through water. Everything is slow and heavy. Wolves move out of my way because they can sense something is wrong with me. They don't know what it is but they know better than to ask.
I go to the Luna suite.
Petra is rearranging furniture like she's been planning this redesign for months. She's moving a couch and she's directing the servants and she's completely absorbed in the project of making this space hers. Because it is hers now. The Luna suite. The status. The position that was supposed to go to Kaela.
I stand in the doorway and I watch her work and I feel absolutely nothing.
That's when I know for sure that I made a mistake.
Petra finally notices me standing there. She smiles like she's been waiting for me to come appreciate her work. Like the Luna suite redesign is the most important thing happening in our territory right now.
"Riven, look at this," she says, gesturing to the furniture arrangement. "It's more open now. More fitting for an Alpha's mate."
I look at the furniture. I look at her. I feel the absence where something should be.
"It's fine," I tell her, and my voice sounds like it's coming from someone else.
"Just fine?" she asks, and there's an edge to her smile now. She's looking for validation and I don't have anything to give her.
I turn around and I leave before she can ask what's wrong.
I need to know everything.
My head scout, Marcus, is in the training grounds when I find him. He's watching a group of younger wolves spar and he turns when he senses my presence.
"I need information," I tell him. "About the female who left Greywater with the Ashford Alpha."
Marcus goes very still.
"Sir," he says carefully, "I'm not sure what you're asking."
"Everything," I say. "How far along is the pregnancy. Whose child it is, though I suspect I already know the answer. And most importantly, whether she's there by choice or by force."
Marcus doesn't move. He's trying to figure out what this means. Why the Alpha who rejected his mate suddenly cares about where she is or what she's carrying.
"That's sensitive intelligence," Marcus says slowly. "Asking for that kind of information about Ashford territory could be seen as hostile."
"I'm not asking you to invade their territory," I tell him. "I'm asking you to find out what you can. Talk to scouts who've been near the border. Talk to rogues who move between territories. Find out if she's happy or if she's being held there. Find out if she's making her own choices or if she's trapped."
I can hear how desperate I sound and I don't care anymore.
"The answer to that last question will decide everything," I tell him.
Marcus studies my face like he's trying to understand what he's looking at. An Alpha. A leader. A man who's finally broken over something he thought he'd already destroyed.
"It will take time," Marcus says. "Getting accurate information from Ashford territory without being caught is difficult."
"Then you better get started," I tell him.
I walk away before he can ask why I care. Before he can point out the obvious fact that Kaela is not my mate anymore. That what she does is not my concern. That I chose Petra and I need to live with that choice.
But I can't live with it.
I can't walk through this pack house and see Petra in the Luna suite and not think about what I could have had if I'd been braver. If I'd fought the council instead of accepting their judgment. If I'd believed in myself and in Kaela instead of believing in duty and tradition.
The rejection was supposed to be clean and final.
Instead it's becoming the most painful decision I've ever made.
Kaela left Greywater willingly. She chose to go with Zane Ashford. She's carrying his child and she's probably happier than she ever was in Ironveil.
And I'm standing in my office trying to figure out how to accept that the girl I rejected has built a better life without me.