The PTV was quiet. Its engine was off. Nephis didn't know how much time had passed since she had gotten into the vehicle. Like when they had arrived, she was in the piloting seat, and next to her sat Effie, quiet as a statue and looking out the window.
There wasn't much to look at from where they were parked; the only things in sight were the big walls that surrounded the academy and the occasional person walking in or out. Nephis shifted in her seat, making the PTV sway slightly. I have to say something. Nephis's fingers started fidgeting, looking for the words to say.
"Effi—"
"Did you do it?" Effie didn't look at Nephis, her breath hitting the window and making a small cloud. "Did you—" The words stuck in her throat, and finally, Effie turned her head towards Nephis. "Did you take advantage of his unconscious body?" The words came out hoarse and broken. Effie raised a hand and covered her mouth as if she wanted to puke, unable to believe she had to ask that question.
Nephis shook her head weakly and looked down at her hands. Her silver hair fell forward, a shimmering curtain that hid the heat radiating off her cheeks.
"I did think about it, but I just couldn't do it, Effie." Saying it out loud made her realize how bad it must have looked from Effie's perspective. She had seen how the huntress looked ready to summon a Memory when she saw the scene. It stung thinking that Effie might see her differently now. Putting the curtain of hair behind her ear, Nephis looked toward Effie. It looked like the admission both put her on edge and calmed her at the same time.
"I looked at him, took in his scent, and... well, my brain just stopped working for a second. I had this moment where I thought it was a good idea. Where it looked like the universe just put everything in place to make it happen."
She gave a weak, lopsided shake of her head. "But I couldn't do it, Effie. I stood there and realized how... how weird I was being. How wrong it was. How wrong I would be to do this to him. I realized that even if he came back, I would lose him."
She let out a dry, breathy huff of a laugh—the kind that mocked her own lapse in judgment. The realization that she'd almost let her own loneliness destroy not only the relationship she had with Effie—and by extension the rest of the cohort—but also any future relationship she might have hoped to have with Sunny.
Sunny. The thought of him seeing what she had done and wanting nothing to do with her was enough to send her into another panic attack. Nephis tried to imagine the situation in reverse: a hypothetical where Nephis comes back from being in the Dream World and finds that Sunny had his way with her, and she was on her way to having children.
That doesn't sound that b— No! No! That's wrong! Bad Nephis! Bad!
Shaking her head, trying to dispel that train of thinking, Nephis looked down toward Effie's hands, unable to look her in the eyes right now.
"Those last moments on the Shore really messed with my head," she muttered, her hand closing on the condoms in her coat pocket. "I'm sorry. I just... I'm an idiot."
There was silence in the PTV after her words, but at least for Nephis, it was less like being judged for a death sentence and more like being caught trying to steal. Which, now that Nephis thought about it, was exactly what had happened. She had been caught trying to steal from Sunny.
A dry snort pulled her out of her thoughts, and she looked up. Effie was shaking her head, the wheelchair creaking as she shifted her weight.
"Standard case of cold feet, huh?" Effie teased, her tone softening mockingly. "Honestly, I don't blame you. Can you imagine a house full of little Sunnys? A whole pack of tiny, shadow-stepping gremlins running around, complaining about the food and hiding in the shadows to trip you?"
She shuddered dramatically.
"You saw your life flash before your eyes, didn't you? One is a headache, Neffie, but a whole brood? That's not a family; that's a Death Zone. You made the right call for the sake of the world's sanity."
Nephis was perplexed, looking at the huntress, who moments ago looked so serious and was now making fun of her and cackling like a maniac. Nephis raised her hand and tried to say something, but Effie didn't let her.
"Or maybe-" Effie tried to say but coulnt contain her laugh, "Or maybe that 'last-minute regret' was just your survival instinct kicking in."
She gestured toward the academy.
"Sure, he's asleep, but we both know he has many surprises. I think you took one look at that dark packet and realized the truth: you're a world-class commander, but even you don't have the stats to handle that much trouble."
Effie let out a short, bark-like laugh, her eyes dancing with unholy mischief.
"You're used to fighting Nightmare Creatures, but a guy like Sunny? That's an S-Rank encounter. You probably realized halfway through that you were going into a boss fight without a healer. Don't feel bad—honestly, I don't think they make a 'protection' strong enough to contain whatever gremlin-energy he's packing. You didn't lose your nerve; you just realized you were out of your league."
"Effie! I was trying to be serious!" Nephis shouted—though she kept her voice muffled behind her hands, trying in vain to hide the furious, scorched-earth crimson of her blush.
Effie doubled over in her wheelchair, her laughter turning into a loud, delighted howl at the sight of the legendary Changing Star trying to hide behind her own fingers.
"Yeah! I'm sure it was real serious!" Effie wheezed, wiping a tear from her eye. "I've seen you face down Nightmare Creatures without blinking, but one unconscious boy makes you retreat? That 'weapon' must be Transcendent-rank for you to be that scared to touch it!"
Nephis couldn't handle it for another second. She scrambled out of the vehicle, Effie's raucous laughter only cutting off when she finally slammed the door shut behind her.
She leaned against a light pole, her face still burning. I swear, she thought, her heart hammering against her ribs, one of these days...