"Stop! You rude, fanatical, completely unreasonable followers of the Axis Order!" Darkness's voice echoed through the night sky, carrying a kind of holy dignity, though it trembled slightly from sheer excitement. "That's right! As you can see, I am a Crusader who serves the Goddess Eris! Everything that happened tonight, the explosion at the Holy Spring and all this chaos, was planned and carried out by me alone! It has nothing to do with my companions!"
The crowd fell into dead silence once again. Then the Axis Order followers erupted with a wave of hostility even more terrifying than before.
"What?! She's a follower of that Padded-Bra Goddess?!"
"I knew it! Only those hypocritical Eris followers would do something as disgusting as throwing a bomb into someone else's bathtub!"
"You all heard her! She admitted it! This woman with the hot body and rotten heart admitted it!"
The middle-aged receptionist pushed through the crowd, clutching a membership application in his hand as he glared viciously at Darkness.
"Fine! Since you admitted it, don't blame us for being harsh! According to the laws of Arcanletia, anyone who desecrates the Holy Spring must be locked in the darkest, dampest, most Axis doctrine-filled confessional in the city! We'll make you kneel before a portrait of Goddess Aqua for three days and three nights, and during that time, you'll listen nonstop to The Sayings of Aqua-sama and How to Properly Sell Membership Applications to Your Neighbors!"
"Ngh...! K-kneel for three days and three nights... and be subjected to nonstop indoctrination..." Darkness tilted her slender neck back slightly, letting out a suppressed moan filled with unmistakable pleasure. "Ah... What a cruel and utterly degrading punishment... Come! Humiliate me with your biased doctrines! Even if you parade me through the streets as an example of a heretic, I... I will never submit!"
"Hey, Darkness! What the hell are you saying?!" Kōichi's scalp went numb, and he quickly reached out to grab her cloak. "This is not the time to indulge your fetishes! Those lunatics really will lock you up! Kazuma, help me!"
"Don't pull her, Kōichi." Kazuma stood there with dead-fish eyes, coldly watching Darkness's face as she looked ready to ascend on the spot. "Look at her. Does that look like a victim who needs saving? That's an explorer who finally found her dream paradise. Just let her go. No one in this city can beat her anyway. At worst, her ears will suffer a little..."
"Stand back! Kōichi! Kazuma!" Darkness violently shook off Kōichi's hand. When she turned around, her dignified expression hid an intensely twisted resolve. "This is my redemption as a Knight... No, as a sinner! Take Megumin and Aqua and leave. I alone will bear the burden here! No matter what they do to me... no matter how excessive or unspeakable it may be... I will endure it all in silence!"
After saying that, she actually held out both hands, signaling for the followers to tie her up with rope.
"Take her away! Bring this vile Eris follower to the confessional!" At the receptionist's order, over a hundred followers cheered and swarmed forward, lifting Darkness up like a festival pig and carrying her toward the city.
Kōichi and Kazuma stood at the edge of the crater, watching Darkness get jostled around in the crowd while wearing a blissful smile. Then they looked at Aqua, who was still drawing circles on the ground beside them, and Megumin, who was already snoring on Kōichi's back.
"Kōichi."
Kazuma spoke quietly.
"Yeah."
"Shouldn't we... use this chaos to pick up the bounty certificate Hans left behind, rent a carriage overnight, and run back to Axel?"
"It's pretty inhumane, but I completely agree." Kōichi wiped the cold sweat from his face. "But before that, we need to drag Aqua out of her follower PTSD, or she might sit in that pit forever."
...
Morning sunlight streamed through Arcanletia's exotic window lattice and fell across the inn's slightly worn carpet.
After last night's huge brawl, which had probably shaved ten years off their lives, Kōichi and Kazuma were sprawled on the sofa without a shred of dignity, catching up on sleep.
Aqua had gone out early that morning.
It was almost noon when the inn door opened.
Darkness walked in surrounded by several Axis Order followers.
To everyone's surprise, the young lady showed no signs of exhaustion after being punished. On the contrary, her face was glowing, her steps were light, and even her heavy Crusader armor had been polished until it shone.
"Everyone! I'm back!" Darkness's voice carried an indescribable sense of satisfaction. "The doctrinal baptism in the confessional was certainly... ahem, quite severe, but the truth has finally come to light. Poison Slime components were detected in the ice crystal residue Wiz-san left behind last night, and the Order has confirmed Hans's death."
The middle-aged follower leading them awkwardly bowed to Kōichi and Kazuma.
"We are truly sorry, brave Adventurers. We were too impulsive last night and misunderstood you. To express our apology, His Eminence the Archbishop has ordered that all your lodging, meals, and hot spring fees in Arcanletia be waived! Please enjoy our city's hospitality to your hearts' content!"
"Waived?!" Kazuma shot up from the sofa like a dying man waking from a dream, his eyes shining like two Eris gold coins. "Does that mean we can use those expensive mixed hot springs as much as we want? And those limited set meals made with high-grade magical ingredients too?!"
After receiving confirmation, Kōichi and Kazuma high-fived in celebration and were just about to drag Megumin, who was still sleeping, out for a feast.
However, just as the cheerful mood reached its peak, several more Axis Order followers rushed into the inn.
They were drenched in sweat and looked terrified. They whispered frantically into the leading man's ear, occasionally glancing at Kōichi's group with the eyes of people looking at walking disasters.
The leading man's face went from rosy to ashen, then from ashen to a despairing white.
Trembling, he turned to Kōichi, who was just about to reach for the menu, his voice stiff as if he were reciting his last words.
"Um... Kōichi-san, and Kazuma-san. May I ask... that blue lunatic with striking long blue hair, wearing a purple miniskirt, who claims to be Goddess Aqua herself... she is your teammate, isn't she?"
The air froze instantly.
Kōichi's hand stopped in midair on its way to the menu, and Kazuma's smile slowly vanished.
"Maybe..." Kōichi swallowed with difficulty. "What... what has she done?"
***
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