In the dim corner of the stable, Kōichi and Kazuma Satou's laughter gradually sank into the deep, rhythmic cadence of villains making their entrance.
The two of them had now reached a complete understanding.
In Axel, there could be deadbeats, and there could be weirdos, but the throne of absolute degeneracy could only be shared by the two of them. Anyone who tried to barge in and claim a piece of it would have to pay dearly.
"Kazuma, a bro's first love sounds great, but it's still too ordinary." Kōichi lightly tapped the pocket holding the thirty-million check, his eyes gleaming with the light of pure destructive creativity. "Since Dust wants the memory of a first love, then let's give him the full deluxe combo. We'll write this on the form: just when Dust is finally about to kiss that pure, innocent girl in his dream, she suddenly opens her mouth, and out comes Aqua's busted yelling voice. 'Kōichi! Buy me some booze already! I blew up the guild toilet!' Then her face rapidly swells up and turns into a giant Slime with beard, and it starts giving him a full-body slime baptism."
Kazuma shuddered from head to toe, then slowly put on an expression of reverent admiration that was somehow deeply deranged. With a trembling hand, he raised a thumbs-up.
"Brother Kōichi, you're the real Demon King, aren't you? This isn't a wet dream anymore. This is Cthulhu Mythos-level mental contamination. But... I love it! Should we add one more part? At the very end of the dream, he realizes he's actually wearing a maid outfit and washing the feet of every orc in town, and his pay is only one Eris?"
"Deal."
Kōichi and Kazuma slapped their hands together with force, the crisp smack sounding like the sealing of some evil pact.
The two of them turned around at the same time, and their faces instantly slipped under a fake mask of brotherly warmth, smiling with dazzling sincerity.
Kōichi stepped forward and even took the initiative to straighten Dust's crooked collar.
"Brother Dust! Kazuma and I talked it over, and we think you're absolutely right! As fellow men of culture, how can we act so distant with each other?" Kōichi waved grandly. "Tonight, the highest-class luxury private room at the succubus shop. The two of us will personally make all the arrangements for you. We guarantee you'll experience the ultimate pleasure of having your soul cleansed and your worldview rebuilt from the ground up!"
Dust was a little dazed by their sudden enthusiasm. He scratched his head. Even though he couldn't shake the chill running down his back, the moment he thought of a pure first-love type, the corners of his mouth started drooling.
"Oh, oh! Since you guys are going this far for me, I can't let you down either!" Dust puffed out his chest and flourished the interview tag in his hand. "I'll go buy some medicine first. Looks like today's my lucky day."
At the front desk of the succubus shop, drenched in pink, suggestive lighting and thick with a sickly sweet fragrance, Kōichi and Kazuma Satou sat side by side with grave expressions, as if they were signing some secret agreement tied to the survival of mankind.
Standing before them was a succubus with two delicate little horns, a revealing uniform, and a gentle, professional smile.
She held an elegant wish application form in her hands and tilted her head as she looked at the two heroes before her in confusion. They were grinding their teeth over the form and occasionally letting out low, sinister chuckles.
"My lords, are you truly certain you want to customize this kind of dream for Dust-san?" the succubus asked politely, pointing to the application form, which was now covered in dense revision marks.
Her voice trembled slightly. "We are professionals, of course, but this setup... having holy water dumped on him at the exact moment of his first-love confession, then watching the girl grow a beard and start doing a striptease... could place quite a heavy burden on the guest's mental state."
"It's fine. Please follow it exactly." Kōichi patted the counter with righteous seriousness and casually slid over several large bills. "Brother Dust is our closest comrade. He's been under too much pressure lately, so we need this level of extreme shock to help him completely unleash his true nature. Especially the Aqua-style busted-voice brainwashing section. Please turn the volume all the way up."
Kazuma nodded like mad beside him. Holding a specially made quill, he added the final killing blow to the bottom of the application form.
"And this part too! At the very end of the dream, have Dust realize that he's actually the Holy Maiden of the Axis Order, and he's being surrounded by a bunch of sweaty orcs asking for his autograph, and the pen in his hand is really a slippery octopus tentacle! Hehehe. Brother Kōichi, once he wakes up tomorrow, his vital essence is going to be filtered completely clean, right?"
Watching Kazuma fully surrender himself to this feverish descent into depravity, Kōichi felt deeply gratified.
Sure enough, when it comes to tormenting his own kind, Kazuma's talent was practically overflowing.
"Perfect. That's the one." Kōichi closed the application form with satisfaction and handed it over to the already dumbstruck succubus. "Money isn't the issue. We want results. Make absolutely sure he feels that crushing despair in his dream, like his first love has been shattered to pieces and then trampled by the Demon King's Army on top of that."
"O-okay... since it's a Hero-sama's request..." The succubus wiped the cold sweat from her forehead and carefully put away the application form, one horrifying enough to make even a burly man cry. "In that case, tonight we'll send the sister in our shop who specializes in horror-style performance to serve Dust-san. Um... would the two of you like to customize some... actual sweet dreams for yourselves as well? We're currently offering a special Soft and Fluffy Big Sister package today."
The moment Kazuma heard words like "Soft and Fluffy Big Sister" and "first love memories," it was like some strange switch had been flipped inside him. The scheming look on his face instantly collapsed, replaced by a dazed, intoxicated expression.
His breathing grew heavy, his hands unconsciously twisting together, and even those dead fish eyes of his seemed to start bubbling with pink heart-shaped excitement.
"So-soft and fluffy... big sister... and it's even a special package..." Kazuma muttered as he reached shakily for the wallet at his waist, clearly on the verge of sinking completely into the abyss of lust. "B-Brother Kōichi... I think, as men, we should treat ourselves once in a while too... since we're already here, maybe I should also..."
Kōichi gave a cold snort and, without the slightest mercy, reached out and grabbed Kazuma by the back of the collar like he was hauling up a chick, yanking him bodily away from the succubus's seductive gaze.
Then Kōichi casually patted the heavy thirty-million check tucked against his chest, producing a crisp slap. In the quiet shop, the sound was especially sharp, and it instantly jolted half the lust out of Kazuma's fogged-up brain.
"Get a grip, Kazuma!" Kōichi said in the tone of someone furious at a hopeless disappointment, his eyes carrying the swagger and depth unique to the newly rich. "Just look at yourself. Where's even a trace of the grand hero who saved the town? You're a multimillionaire now. A multimillionaire, got it? That puts you at the top of Axel, in the kind of class where even the drunks at the guild have to watch your mood!"
Kazuma froze and stared blankly at Kōichi. "A-a multimillionaire?"
"That's right! For bottom-tier adventurers with only a few copper coins in their pockets, the kind who have to hunt frogs just to afford tomorrow's meal, like we used to, paying for a nice dream really is the height of luxury." Kōichi shot the shop's suggestive interior a look of open disdain, then leaned in close and lowered his voice. "But we've got money now. Rich people paying to dream? That's lame as hell. Think about it. No matter how real the dream feels, when you wake up, aren't you still lying in that drafty stable? Do you really want to experience that emptiness all over again?"
Kazuma came to his senses like someone waking from a dream. Remembering the horror of being woken up every morning by Aqua vomiting, he couldn't help but shiver.
"Brother Kōichi... you're right! How could a rich man sink into fake dreams like that!"
Satisfied, Kōichi let go, then turned toward the succubus, who had gone completely stiff, and flashed her an extremely depraved, aggressively predatory grin.
"My apologies, miss. Your services are very tempting, but for the likes of us now, dreams just don't cut it anymore. Since this world has magic and demi-humans, then surely it also has those kinds of places... you know, not dream stuff, but the real thing. Actual live service. The kind where you can genuinely feel body heat and softness. Somewhere like the places in Interspecies Reviewers. Even if it costs ten or a hundred times more, that's no problem. After all, the one thing we're not short on right now is money."
The succubus opened her mouth, but her professional smile had completely fallen apart. Fidgeting with her fingers, she answered in a flustered voice, "W-well... our shop's policy is to provide absolutely safe and legal spiritual comfort... as for the kind of live service you're talking about... there really is a place like that in Axel, but it's the Ruby Salon, which caters exclusively to nobles and wealthy merchants from the royal capital... not only is the barrier to entry extremely high, but..."
"The Ruby Salon?"
Kōichi and Kazuma repeated the name in unison, their eyes syncing up perfectly once again.
A blazing hunger to explore the unknown, mixed with a pathological desire to waste money, burned fiercely in both their eyes.
Kazuma rubbed his hands together hard, his face flushing with the kind of excitement that only showed up when he was about to do something bad. "Brother Kōichi! Did you hear that? A high-end club! Noble treatment! Now that's a place worthy of our status! Instead of dealing with some lump of magic in a dream, I'd much rather go see what soft and fluffy really looks like in real life!"
Kōichi strode out of the succubus shop, the setting sun stretching his shadow long behind him and making him look especially "imposing."
Without even turning around, he snapped his fingers at Kazuma behind him.
"Let's go, Kazuma. First we cash the check at the bank, then we get ourselves some decent clothes. Tonight, we're going to show Axel's nobles what a true nouveau riche hero looks like!"
As for Dust?
That poor bastard was probably still in the stable, having the last sweet dream of first love in his life.
But that was fine. Once he woke up tomorrow and realized his soul had been thoroughly cleansed by Aqua's busted shouting voice and that first-love horror show, he would definitely thank the two of them for letting him experience the many possibilities life had to offer.