The next ten minutes were a "cram session" worthy of being etched into the history of the Succubus Shop.
Amid the surging hot spring water and under the cover of a school desk, Kōichi and Kazuma carried out a frenzied "academic exchange" with "Hatano Aqua-sensei" at a pace that went beyond human limits.
"Teacher! On the subject of 'deep fusion,' please wrap up your explanation in three minutes!"
"No problem, student Kōichi! Ow... don't pull my hair, that's Aqua's... no, wait, that's the teacher's wig... uwaaaaah!"
At the very last second of those ten minutes, the dream space shattered completely with a crisp sound like breaking glass.
…
Axel, The Stable Inn.
Morning sunlight streamed through the window and fell across Kōichi's face.
Kōichi's eyes snapped open. He was drenched in sweat, like someone who had just been hauled up from the bottom of the sea, gasping hard for air.
He stared blankly at the ceiling for a full three minutes. Then a deeply strange, deeply profound, and deeply satisfied smile slowly curled at the corners of his mouth.
"...I won."
Kōichi murmured to himself.
Even though in the last five minutes of the dream, the teacher's face had completely turned into Aqua's as she wailed, "Pay me back for my booze," that thrill of dancing on the edge of destruction and grasping for more on the verge of losing his sanity had been unexpectedly incredible.
There was a thud from the next room, followed by Kazuma's exhausted yet somehow saintly sigh.
"Kōichi... you awake?"
Kōichi stepped out of his room just as Kazuma came out too, bracing himself against the wall.
The dark circles under his eyes were alarmingly deep, and his face was white as paper, yet his eyes shone with the compassion of a man who had seen through the vanity of the world.
"Kazuma... how are you feeling?" Kōichi asked, leaning against the doorframe and lighting a cigarette that didn't exist.
Kazuma gave him a relieved smile, the kind of expression only someone baptized by hell could wear. "Kōichi, right now I feel like... this world is such a beautiful place. That useless Goddess, that chuunibyou loli, even that masochistic Knight. I can forgive all of them with a smile. Because in those final ten minutes... I saw the truth."
"Yeah." Kōichi patted him on the shoulder. The two sat side by side on the wooden hallway floor, basking in the morning light. "Even if the teacher was giving me a massage at the end while asking whether I wanted to buy Axis Cult soap... that touch was definitely the real Hatano-sensei."
Just then, Aqua's bright, energetic, and thoroughly punchable voice rang out from the far end of the hallway.
"Hey! Kōichi! Kazuma! Why are you two lazy bums still lying around?! Get up already! I sensed a demon's presence yesterday! I spent the whole night using my magic to exorcise it for you guys, so hurry up and thank me, then treat me to something good!"
Kōichi and Kazuma turned at the same time to look at the bouncing blue-haired figure coming toward them.
Normally, by this point, the two of them would already be looking for a brick or gearing up with snarky comebacks.
But now, they merely exchanged a glance and showed a perfectly synchronized, gentle smile full of philosophical depth.
"No problem, Aqua," Kōichi said softly. "You can eat whatever you want today. And there'll be as much booze as you want too."
Kazuma added in the same kindly tone, "That's right. After all, last night... during those 'ten minutes,' you really did work hard."
Aqua froze. She stopped in her tracks and stared at the two men radiating a "saintly aura," then instinctively took a step back.
"Huh? Huhhh?! What's wrong with you two? That look is disgusting! Did my purification spell purify your brains too?! Uwaaaah, Kazuma's being nice. This has to be some kind of terrifying curse!"
The morning sun bathed the streets of Axel. It should have been a lively adventurer city, but now the place was wrapped in a bizarre air of peace because of these two men's "sainthood."
Aqua eyed Kōichi and Satou Kazuma suspiciously, her aqua-blue eyes flicking back and forth between them.
As far as she knew, these two were normally either fighting over the last cabbage or plotting how to shortchange her on booze money.
Being looked at with the sort of kindly gaze one might reserve for a "savior" or a "long-lost daughter" made her break out in goosebumps.
"Hey... are you two really okay?" Aqua shrank back another step, holding her staff across her chest. "Did that demon last night curse you with something weird? Like, 'If you're not nice to Aqua, you'll explode and die' or something? If that's the case, then hurry up and go back to being your usual awful selves. I do not want to get covered in blood!"
Kōichi just smiled and shook his head. The calm detachment of someone who had seen through worldly vanity made even his voice sound a little more magnetic.
"Aqua, don't look at us through such a worldly lens. Last night's experience taught us that life is short, and beautiful things are meant to be shared. Since you 'worked hard' all night, then as your teammates, indulging your modest desire for alcohol is simply part of our cultivation."
Kazuma pressed his palms together at his side, as though golden Buddha-light were shining behind him. "Well said, well said. Kōichi's right. Money is nothing but an external possession. Only the enlightenment of those 'ten minutes' is eternal.
Aqua, come on. Go buy whatever you want to drink. Whether it's sparkling wine or aged red wine, we're paying today."
Aqua's expression shifted from horror to blank confusion, and then... the moment she heard the words "we're paying" and "wine," her instincts as a useless Goddess shattered every last trace of doubt.
"Really?! I can get any kind of wine I want?!"
Her previously tense face instantly bloomed into a radiant, idiotic flower of joy. She tossed her staff aside, charged straight between them, grabbed Kōichi with one hand and Kazuma with the other, and jumped up excitedly.
"If you're really saying that, then I won't hold back! We're going to that super fancy liquor specialty shop, and I'm buying that top-grade sparkling wine with the 'Archpriest Recommended' label on it! And fried chicken and high-end cheese to go with it!"
She had completely forgotten that just moments ago she had been wondering if the two of them had been replaced. Right now, Aqua only wanted to squeeze these two "walking wallets" dry.
"Come on, come on! Hurry up! If we get there late, someone else is gonna buy that limited-edition bottle!"
Like a little girl dragging her parents into a toy store, Aqua hauled the two staggering "saints" toward the shopping district.
The two let her drag them along, their steps light and airy, as if they were walking on clouds.
The adventurers they passed all stared in horror.
"Hey, look. That's Kōichi and Kazuma, right? What's wrong with them? Their eyes are so empty..."
"They look like dried-up corpses that got all their life force sucked out, but somehow they also look really happy... Is that Succubus Shop really that amazing?"
"Damn it, I wanna go too! I wanna look like that, like I'm about to die but totally satisfied!"
On Axel's shopping street, Aqua's cheerful singing rang through the air, while Kōichi and Kazuma kept those eerie smiles, the kind that could make a crying child stop dead, as they walked under everyone's stares toward the expensive liquor store.
When they pushed open the door, the shopkeeper behind the counter was just about to greet Aqua with his usual "No tabs if you can't pay," but the moment he spotted Kōichi behind her, radiating an aura of "I have money and I do not care," his face instantly turned fawning.
"Welcome! Oh my, if it isn't Kōichi-san. Are you here today to buy drinks for this... this priest lady who so frequently visits, and troubles, my shop?"
Kōichi gave a slight nod, pulled a thick stack of Eris bills from his clothes, and laid them elegantly on the counter.
"Bring out the most expensive liquor in the store, the kind Axis Cult followers love most. Today, we drink to 'truth' and 'tutoring.'"
"Oooh! Kōichi! You're a real god! Way better than that stingy Eris who's always so cheap!"
Aqua excitedly hugged an enormous bottle and even rubbed her face against it, completely oblivious to the fact that she had just casually insulted her junior.
Watching this, Kazuma let out a deep, thoughtful sigh. "Look, Kōichi. She's smiling so happily... just like the teacher in the dream. A little noisy, sure, but that pure greed has a beauty of its own."
Kōichi smiled back. "Yeah, Kazuma. This intertwining of dream and reality is the true essence of life."
As he counted the money, the shopkeeper trembled.
These two are absolutely insane. They have to be absolutely insane.