Chapter 22: I Cannot Love You
*LoveforReal* was a weekly broadcast. With a recording frequency of once a week, the production team would adjust the focal point of the following week based on the audience's feedback from the previous episode. Up until now, four episodes had been recorded, and the theme had consistently revolved around romantic rivalries—primarily focusing on the competition between Takuya Taira and Jin Fuyuno over Ai Hoshino, as well as Koromo Shiranui and Emi Sai's pursuit of Hikaru Hoshino.
As the show reached its midway point, it needed a shift in conflicts. Correspondingly, it was time to draw a definitive conclusion to this current plotline.
Therefore, for this particular recording, the production team adopted a special format, forcing the contestants into a face-to-face confrontation and requiring both Ai and Hikaru to make a final choice.
The recording set was decorated with significantly more care than previous episodes, injecting plenty of romantic elements into the cozy living room style. Pink spotlights bathed the beige sofa, exquisite fresh flowers were laid out on the coffee table, and several decorative paintings hung on the walls, successfully crafting a warm, household atmosphere.
"The keyword for this episode is 'The Heart-Fluttering Challenge,'" the host announced in front of the camera, his voice gentle yet laced with a certain sense of urgency. "Our contestants have already fully showcased their charms. But love requires sincerity, so please use your own sincerity to move the person you desire!"
The six contestants sat in two rows on the sofa, the atmosphere far tenser than in past episodes. Everyone's posture appeared somewhat rigid; even Emi Sai, who usually talked the most, sat quietly, occasionally stealing glances at the others around her. The crew members on set stood by on standby, and the cameramen adjusted their angles, preparing to capture every single brilliant moment that might unfold next.
"Today, we will conduct a special segment—The Confession Moment," the host declared. "The contestants will be paired up to make their confessions, and then determine the final outcome."
Hearing this arrangement, every single contestant realized...
The moment of decision had arrived!
An invisible tension permeated the air, as if everyone was mentally preparing themselves for the impending showdown.
Takuya Taira took a deep breath, clenching both hands into tight fists.
He perceived that this might very well be the only and final opportunity of his entire life.
Over the course of getting to know each other across these past few episodes, Takuya had inevitably developed feelings for Ai. Although it probably hadn't reached the point where it could be defined as true love, there was absolutely no doubt that if he could become lovers with Ai... he would willingly trade it for a life of luxury mansions and sports cars.
In private, Takuya had also watched many of Ai's performances and had already become a loyal fan of hers.
*The final chance...*
*I absolutely must use this show to become the most shameless fan and capture my idol!* Takuya vowed fiercely in his heart.
In contrast, Jin Fuyuno didn't place nearly as much weight on this show. He felt that success was highly improbable for him to begin with, and his feelings toward Ai were merely rooted in respect. As an actor, he clearly recognized that the gap in their industry status was far too vast, rendering any real possibility virtually nonexistent. Therefore, he was merely actively pursuing Ai according to the show's script, without his heart actually being swayed in reality.
The camera cut to a specially arranged conversation zone with a pink backdrop, where numerous camera rigs were aimed at this area from various angles. The entire setup resembled a classic scene from a survival audition show—Ai sat dead center on a red swivel chair, her back turned to the confessors. The back of the chair was very high, completely concealing her expression. She wore a pale purple long-sleeved top, her long hair draping naturally over the back of the chair, making her entire being look quiet and mysterious.
The rules were extremely simple: if she was moved by a confession, she would spin around to face the confessor; if her heart didn't flutter, she would remain seated with her back turned.
Takuya Taira and Jin Fuyuno each stood on a small platform behind the chair, both dressed exceptionally lavishly for this confession. Takuya had ditched his usual rock-and-roll style, changing into a deep blue suit with his hair meticulously styled; Jin Fuyuno wore a white tuxedo, looking remarkably formal.
Ai knew perfectly well that regardless of whether her heart fluttered or not, there was only ever going to be one outcome for this performance—she would only give the answer of rejection.
This was an inevitable outcome because Ai had not yet truly graduated from being an idol. Therefore, even if she participated in a reality dating show, she had to leave the stage empty-handed. The production team was well aware of this fact too, so they cared only about the entertainment value and the dramatic process of the recording.
But Takuya was dead serious; he had never even factored failure into his equation. This hot-blooded youth was entirely intent on succeeding, a resolute fire burning within his eyes. "Ai," Takuya spoke up, his Kansai dialect carrying a rare note of gravity. "I want to tell you what's truly in my heart."
He cleared his throat and began to articulate his musical dreams and his feelings toward Ai: "From the very first moment I saw you, I knew you were someone special. You are a sparkling idol, radiating immense light upon the stage. I was deeply captivated by you, and I have completely and utterly become an 'Ai fan.'"
Takuya's voice grew progressively emotional: "I originally wanted to write a song to express my feelings, but I'm not the composer of our band! I gave it a shot, and it was just way too difficult, so the composition failed."
"But!" Takuya slammed his hand heavily against his chest. "That doesn't affect the sincerity of my emotions! If possible, I want to chase musical dreams together with you, and I want to see you looking your absolute brightest on stage!"
When it was Jin Fuyuno's turn, he bowed deeply. "From the very first moment I laid eyes on you, Ai-senpai, I felt that I had deeply fallen in love with you. Perhaps this is what people frequently refer to as love at first sight."
Although Jin wasn't actually that thrilled deep down inside, his delivery remained exceptionally genuine and passionate; this was basic professionalism for an actor.
The expression on his face was incredibly moving, and his wild, sweeping gestures were all executed to perfection, appearing as though he were truly immersed in profound affection.
Ai listened quietly to both of their confessions, recalling the various scenes from these past few weeks. Takuya's guitar playing was quite good, and he was an interesting person—pure-hearted yet a bit of a goofball. Jin, on the other hand, was more reserved, never crossing any boundaries, making him very easy to get along with.
This had added a fair amount of enjoyment to her weekly variety show recording duties.
Both boys were highly sincere and had worked incredibly hard to draw her attention.
Ai let out a quiet sigh in her heart, feeling a touch of regret.
*As expected, huh... there's still no heart-fluttering sensation.*
Taking advantage of this opportunity, Ai couldn't help but ponder a much deeper question: *What exactly is love?*
The core essence of the person known as Ai Hoshino was a perpetual pursuit of love. She didn't understand the true nature of love, nor did she ever know if she had truly loved anyone. She seemingly showered all her fans with immense love, yet she couldn't distinguish whether that love was a lie or reality.
But there was only one thing that stood beyond a shadow of a doubt—she loved Aqua and Ruby. That statement alone was absolutely not a lie.
The moment she thought of the twins, Ai's entire demeanor grew lighthearted, her thoughts gradually drifting far away.
*But that's familial love, right? What exactly is so-called romantic love?* Ai questioned in her mind.
She was well aware that when she broke up with Hikaru Kamiki back then, she had been the one to take the initiative. Ai had told Hikaru, "I cannot love you," and then cleanly and decisively dumped him.
But in truth, that had been to save Hikaru. Terrified that the sheer weight of life would crush him, she had involuntarily said, "I cannot bear the heavy burden on your shoulders, so let's break up."
"I cannot love you"—this was not a lie. However, it couldn't exactly be called the truth either. Because Ai herself didn't truly understand how she actually viewed the Hikaru Kamiki of the past.
Toward the Hikaru Kamiki who was teetering on the brink of collapse back then, what exactly was it that had welled up from the depths of her heart?
...
...
Ai pitied Hikaru Kamiki.
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