Zu Cheng
Let's do it.
This time, I won't bend under family pressure.
I won't live shackled by regrets.
I, once the coward of my entire class, had finally found the courage to go against my parents' will.
Now, you might wonder why.
The reason is simple.
I got a second chance.
In the previous timeline, I never understood why I couldn't accept the way I was living even when I got a decent job with a six-digit salary. Then when I got into the accident, I realized maybe it was my death, I was seeking for so long.
But I had my regrets.
My regrets always gobble me up from the inside, leaving me nothing but an empty man. I wanted to create a story, a story that reflects the world, that people could burn into their memories. No flashy hero, no popular actors, yet a story people see themselves in and feel. Yet, I couldn't. Not because I gave up but because I never got the chance—my parents were Asian; they never believed in my life as a successful director, nor did I ever get the chance to work in any reputable agency. Moreover, I was poor. I had plenty of excuses to give up, but I couldn't.
Not until I lost the person, my only supporter, my best friend, Xie Mei. She wanted to be one of the top screenwriters and make a drama or at least a short film with me. But my life didn't wish for it.
She committed suicide.
I was helpless. I couldn't help it; I was powerless. I couldn't even fight against the bullies I had; I couldn't even fight for my dreams.
It was a rainy day; the streets were almost empty. I returned from her funeral clutching the letter she left me.
Dear Zu Cheng,
I understand you are really angry on me for what I did; I know I'm in no position to ask for this… But can you do me a favor? Only one—do not stop chasing your dreams.
Do not step back. FIGHT!! FIGHT!!!!
— Xie Mei
My hands shook as I read it again and again. Why do you care for me when you've already given up? Why did you leave me? I had no answers—only tears.
I stepped onto the road, lost in grief, and only noticed a bright flash...hah... it was my fault; I didn't notice the truck coming earlier. By the time I noticed, I could only see the bright light fading into darkness. I felt myself sinking into the sea, my heartbeat slowing to nothing.
I thought it was the end; it felt like I accepted my fate.
But that wasn't the case. In the next instant, light exploded behind my eyelids. When I opened them, I was staring at the ceiling of my old room—twelve years earlier, the day of my final results. My chest tightened; the sight had to be a hallucination. However, later that day, when the results were released, I felt a chill run through my body. The numbers were exactly the same as in that last, terrible vision.
So at the end, I could come up with only one conclusion —
I'd been thrown back into my own past. I am seventeen again.
When I realized I got a second chance, I absolutely didn't want to waste it; this time I have two goals I must achieve: become the director I always wished to be and, secondly, somehow save her.
Before I realised what I should do, I called her subconsciously, and when I heard her voice, the first thing came out of my mouth was —
Can we meet now?
My words cracked, trembling in her ear. She surely noticed. Just as expected, she seems confused. Her tone made it clear she wanted to ask, "Why?" We just saw each other yesterday… yet she said, "Yeah…I guess it's okay… you can come…"
I couldn't afford to waste a single second and rushed to her house. It's only a 10-minute walk from mine. Her house was small but cozy, with soft white walls and a few potted plants by the entrance.
I pressed the doorbell; she opened the door instantly. My arms moved before I could think, wrapping around her as if drawn by some invisible force. I couldn't stop it. I had just returned from her funeral just hours ago, yet here she was, alive, standing right in front of me. The world felt impossibly wrong and utterly right all at once.
She got worried; she asked, "What happened? Did someone bully you again?? What is it this time? Did they do something mean again?"
I denied her. But yes, I'm ashamed enough to admit that I couldn't even fight for myself against those bullies previously; she always comforted me. It's never like she could stop the bullies; also, I didn't want her to get involved—after all, it would not solve anything but make her life harder, yet she was always here by my side. Even when my parents ignored it.
I looked at her, smiling. I joked, "Thank you so much, buddy. What's gonna happen to me without you??"
Her facial expression changed from worried to annoyed instantly. "Of course. You are an alien; without me, you can't even speak."
"It's really not like I'm some kind of alien."
"Yep. Then get your shit together. You don't have some superpower, so use what you have." She continued, "Don't let them bother you… That's all I can say. Not like I can really help you out of it."
She was right. Even if she tried, she couldn't. She was powerless too.
I sighed, finally letting go of her, though part of me didn't want to. She gave me one last look, half-annoyed, half-worried, and then closed the door behind me.
The walk back home was quiet. The streets were calm, the sky tinged with the soft orange of late afternoon. I couldn't stop thinking about her, about Xie Mei and about the second chance I'd been given. Everything felt different now yet terrifyingly the same. I had one shot that I couldn't afford to waste.
Oh… I almost forgot something. Well, maybe not that important.
These moments I've been carrying—ten months ago, they almost broke me. But now? I'm doing better.
I guess I should probably say who I am. Uhh… Zu Cheng. Honestly, I've never had to introduce myself… People always saw me as extra.
So, I never really knew what to say. Uhhh…yea… Just don't mind me.