The danger was defused in an instant by words alone.
"Thank God..."
Ariana collapsed to the floor, all color drained from her face. In her pale eyes was reflected the cold gleam of the swords held by those stone statues.
Her lips were trembling, her fingers were trembling, her whole body looked like a leaf caught in a storm, as if she might black out at any second.
The girl had never been in very good health to begin with.
"Mr. Corpse, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have gone wandering around your house... I didn't know those statues could move... I really didn't know... I'm sorry..."
Only after a long while did Ariana crawl shakily to Iain's side. With his help, she slowly managed to stand, though her body was still trembling.
"Don't wipe the floor too clean for me. If it's too spotless, it stops looking like a ruin."
With great care, Iain patted all the dust off Ariana and back onto the ground.
His things were his things. His dust was also his dust. Nobody was allowed to quietly carry any of it off.
"Sorry..."
Ariana was still sniffling. She clutched at Iain's sleeve, her knuckles pale, tears pouring from her eyes while her voice shook with lingering fear.
In response, Iain gave voice to his suspicion.
"But you're a succubus. How are you crying like a slug? Don't tell me this is some test of my sympathy."
"Well, you picked the right person for that. I'm incredibly softhearted."
As he said that, Iain searched himself for something. He had no sanitary pad on him this time, so he chose instead to offer her his burial shroud.
Ariana did not dare take it. She was afraid that if she used it to wipe her eyes, she might never get to use it again. So she could only rub her tears away with the heel of her hand, though it felt like they would never stop.
"I thought I was going to die... Those statues were terrifying... They raised their swords, so high, so high... and the blades were so bright... I thought they were going to bring them down..."
She glanced nervously at the statues again.
Iain looked over too, then tried once more to command them to return to their places.
The statues obediently retreated, swords still raised, until they merged back into the wall.
That was right. Their bodies fused into the stone as they stepped backward, seamlessly becoming part of the wall again, leaving only their faces exposed.
And there were many more such faces along the corridor walls, row after row, like sentries. One could easily imagine them stepping out of the walls again to serve as guards.
"As expected of me."
Iain gave one of his trademark crooked smiles.
Then he turned back to Ariana, who was still sobbing, and waved a hand in front of her face.
"You've obviously never seen Inception. For someone with a brain as outstanding as mine, of course my subconscious would be packed with guards to protect the eternal purity of my mind."
He explained this in a deeply unnerving tone.
"You're lucky you only ran into statues today. If your luck had been any worse, seven or eight Ultramen might've popped out instead."
He did not doubt for a second that his subconscious palace probably did contain Ultramen.
Ariana did not understand Inception or Ultraman, but she did understand the part about "a lot of guards," and she definitely understood that she was not supposed to wander around.
"I only came because I wanted to play with you."
The Succubus Lady steadied herself against Iain's arm and, with the heel of her hand, wiped away the tears still clinging to her face.
"These past few days, I kept sneaking into your room, but every time I found you just lying in bed asleep. I called you for hours, and you never woke up."
"So I got bored and started studying those magic inscriptions, thinking I could translate them for you once you woke up. I never imagined there would be a hollow brick in the wall."
"I pressed it, and it fell inward. Then a door appeared in the wall."
Ariana explained everything she had experienced in one breath.
"So that's what happened."
Iain turned to look back toward the burial chamber and suddenly understood.
"So there was a hidden mechanism all along. I thought you might've dug the door out yourself."
He genuinely believed the Succubus Lady was capable of that.
Unfortunately, that confidence was apparently too much for her to bear. Ariana's face instantly went red.
"Mr. Corpse, please stop saying that. I'm not that good at digging..."
She very much did not enjoy being praised for that particular skill. Fair enough, really. Getting complimented on one's tunneling ability was not a terribly ladylike experience.
"You're too modest. In my life I've only ever seen two human excavators. One is the skeleton I keep, and the other is you, Succubus Lady."
Iain shook his head with solemn seriousness.
Hearing that, Ariana lowered her head and twisted her fingers in her skirt.
"The truth is... I only dug because... because I wanted to get away from home..."
To keep herself from getting more embarrassed, the girl changed the subject.
"Mr. Corpse, what did you say just now? That you keep... a skeleton?"
Maybe it was not just an attempt to change the subject. She really did seem inwardly astonished. As expected of Mr. Corpse, even his pets were far from ordinary.
"Of course."
Iain's eyes lit right up.
"Not just a skeleton, either. A magical skeleton. It's amazing. It can cook, clean, feed the cat, tidy up my room, and most importantly, its tunneling ability is absolutely top tier. If you've got time someday, I should organize a competition."
"You versus my little skeleton. An excavation contest. We'll see who digs faster, deeper, and prettier."
He looked genuinely eager. It did not seem like empty talk at all.
It looked like something he truly believed would be meaningful and fun.
"Who would want to compete in digging..."
Ariana's face turned even redder. She muttered the words under her breath, the flush spreading from her neck all the way up her face.
"You really might not be able to out-dig my skeleton..."
Iain was still ready to go on listing the glorious achievements of his little skeleton, but Ariana suddenly shrank back.
She lowered her head and looked at her wrist.
There was nothing there.
"It should be around twelve-thirty in the afternoon."
There was nothing on Iain's wrist either, but that did not stop his super-brain from giving him the exact time.
"Then I need to crawl back right away..."
Ariana's expression changed. Her voice quickened.
"Mother's about to come give me my dose."
With that, the girl hurried off toward the burial chamber.
"My dose? What kind of dose?"
Iain hurried after her.
Ariana moved quickly, and the speed of her steps made her words come out breathless.
"I've been very sick for years. I feel awful every day. The doctors can't cure me, so they can only use potions to ease the pain. Mother makes medicine for me every day, and if I'm not back on time, she'll definitely scold me."
Ariana spoke in a small, self-conscious voice. She looked up as though she wanted to say more, only to discover that Mr. Corpse had suddenly leapt backward several yards.
Iain had gone rigid with suspicion.
"Your kind uses potions too?"
His voice came out higher than usual.
"What's wrong?"
Ariana asked in confusion.
"Don't come any closer. Don't touch me!"
When the bewildered Ariana stepped toward him, Iain immediately backed away several more paces.
"Explain yourself first. Are we talking about proper potions made with magical plants and magical creatures, or the deeply improper kind brewed from magical witches?"
Iain's voice had gone sharp enough to sound like a palace eunuch.
He was genuinely worried that the Succubus Lady's "potion" might be the sort that transformed adorable boys into beautiful female succubi.
He was, after all, in good old Britain.
And, more importantly, a proper old Londoner.
Iain felt that running into something like that was not impossible at all.