The smell reached me before anything else.
Chocolate.
And something beneath it that had no business existing in the same world.
My legs moved before my mind gave permission.
Each step felt wrong —
like the floor was tilting,
like gravity had quietly shifted and forgotten to tell me.
The hallway had never felt this long before.
Or maybe I was just moving slower than I thought.
( I'd spent the whole day running. Now I couldn't make my legs work.)
I didn't realize I was holding my breath —
until I saw him.
Zane was standing in the hallway.
Just... standing.
But something about him didn't belong there.
Not his body. Not his face. Not even the air around him.
His eyes.
That was the part I couldn't look away from.
Zane's eyes had always been loud —
the kind that laughed before his mouth did,
the kind that betrayed him every time he tried to lie.
But now...
they were empty in a way I didn't recognize.
Not fear.
Fear I'd seen before.
This was something older.
Something that felt like it had crawled out of a place
it was never supposed to exist in.
Like he had looked at something
that the world had quietly agreed
no one was ever meant to see.
And it had looked back.
Not sick-wrong, the way he'd been this morning.
Broken-wrong.
His whole body was trembling.
Not shaking from cold —
something deeper.
Something inside him was still happening...
even if he wasn't moving anymore.
This was him not being able to come back.
I forced a half-smile.
"What's with the ghost impression? You looked better when you were faking sick this morning."
Nothing.
Not even a blink.
That's when it hit me.
This wasn't him ignoring me.
This was him not being here.
"Hey." My voice dropped.
"Zane, look at me."
Still nothing.
I stepped closer —
The moment I did — his body reacted.
A sharp, violent flinch —
like my voice had hit something inside him.
His eyes snapped to mine.
And for the first time —
there was something there.
Not relief. Not recognition.
Desperation.
Like he was drowning and I was the only thing in reach —
but he couldn't grab me.
"You're scaring me."
Zain
Talk to me!!
( I wasn't joking anymore)
He looked at me.
I could tell he was trying to say something.
I could see it —
the words forming somewhere deep inside him
and dying...before they could reach his mouth.
His lips moved.
Nothing came out.
He tried again.
Still nothing.
Just air.
Just silence.
Just his eyes —
screaming everything his voice couldn't.
Then —
Slowly.
Like the motion cost him everything he had left —
He raised his hand.
One finger Trembling.
Pointing.
Toward the kitchen.
I looked at his hand.
Then at his eyes.
He wasn't telling me to go.
He was warning me not to.
Something inside me went completely silent.
The kind of silence that doesn't feel calm.
It feels like the moment right before something breaks for good.
I moved.
Past him.
He didn't stop me.
He couldn't.
And behind me...
Zane was still standing there.
Stuck in whatever had already happened to him.
...
The kitchen door was open
Like it had been waiting.
The smell hit me like a wall —
Chocolate.
Blood.
And then —
mother.
Still.
So completely, impossibly still.
why?
She was on the floor.
Tsuki.
The one who chased us through the backyard like she was eight years old.
The one whose laugh you could hear from the street.
The one who this morning pressed a cold cloth to Zane's forehead with worry written all over her face.
The one who told me —
"If you go, I'll make your favorite chocolate."
That chocolate
scattered across the tiles —
The clock on the wall was ticking loud enough to rattle my bones,
but the hands weren't moving.
Time had died with her, yet the chocolate on the floor stayed warm.
Warm and wrong."
dark and warm and heartbreakingly out of place
against everything else that surrounded her.
Two worlds that should never have touched,
forced together on the same cold floor.
She had promised me chocolate.
I had promised her I'd go to school.
We were both liars today.
I don't remember crossing the room.
I just remember being beside her —
on my knees,
...
Took her hand.
Cold.
Her hand was cold.
(Her hands are never cold.
Even in winter.
Her hands are always warm.)
"Mom—"
The word came out small.
(beat...)
I grabbed her shoulders
"Mom, wake up—"
I held her face in both hands.
The way she used to hold mine when I had fever.
Careful.
Like something precious.
like something that could still be saved.
(I wasn't ready to know that yet.)
...
Her eyes were closed.
And on her face —
a small, quiet smile.
Like she had simply decided to rest.
(That's not right.
That's not right.
Something is wrong.
Something is very, very wrong.)
I pressed my ear to her chest —
Silence.
Not the temporary kind.
Not the kind that ends.
The forever kind.
Something cracked open in me then —
I don't know what came out of me then.
A sound.
A cry.
I don't know.
But my whole body shook.
And I held her tighter.
Mom I'm sorry.
Mom I came back.
Mom I should've been here.
I should've—
(Stayed?
Been the good son for once?)
Too late for that now...
...
That's when I felt it.
A presence.
Behind me.
I turned —
And the world stopped.
Hikaru.
My father.
He stood at the far end of the kitchen.
Still.
Silent.
His eyes on her.
On Tsuki.
with an expression I had never seen on his face
and would spend the next eight years trying to forget.
And in his hand —
A knife.
Dark at the blade.
Dripping.
The air left my lungs...
and didn't come back.
He turned.
Slowly.
And his eyes found mine —
For one endless, infinite second —
we just looked at each other.
His mouth opened slightly —
"Kai—"
And then —
The ceiling tilted.
The walls rushed inward.
The chocolate blurred into the red,
and the red blurred into everything,
and everything blurred into —
Her laugh.
Just for a moment.
Free. Warm. Unbreakable.
"I've got you."
Then—
Nothing.
And just like that... the world I knew ended without asking me.
(To be continued...)