Roberta gasped and pulled her hand back, looking at the fingers that had touched the lord's wound. Not a drop of blood was on them, even though the sensation of tearing through flesh was eerily vivid.
The wound closed as soon as her fingers came away. It didn't even leave a trace that it had been there. If it weren't for the hole the dagger had made in his clothes and the blood the monster had spat out, no one would have noticed anything strange.
She felt both surprise and confusion at the same time.
'How can this be?'
It was an injury that should have caused instant death. His neck had been bitten, leaving a hole big enough to fit a fist through, and his side had been stabbed and twisted all the way to his lungs. It was a fatal wound that didn't even leave room to consider treatment.
But Ulrich was alive, and his wound had healed in an instant.
Is it possible for a wound to heal this quickly?
Roberta thought of Alonso. If it were the master of healing magic who ranked at the top in the Hall of Gods, it would be possible. However, even he couldn't make spilled blood return or heal a wound without leaving a scar. Alonso's healing magic was closer to accelerating the body's natural recovery.
On the other hand, Ulrich felt like he was returning to a time when he had no wounds. As if he were turning back time, or as if his existence were fixed at a certain point.
"Hah, haah."
At the rough breathing, she turned her gaze.
The old man named Rashid was collapsed next to the corpse of the monster that had once been his son, looking up at the lord. The old man with his graying white hair was constantly bleeding from the wounds cut by the blade, soaking the floor of the office.
Ulrich approached him and knelt on one knee.
"Do you still believe that thing is your son?"
Rashid looked up at the ceiling with half-open eyes and let out a long sigh. He had harbored such intense obsession that he attacked the lord, but now he had finally let it go, and he looked like a frail old man on the verge of death.
"Is my son… dead?"
"Yes, a long time ago."
"Then what is that?"
"A bug. Like a parasite, living inside a host."
Mulling over the word bug, Rashid said,
"It's hard to understand. How can a bug be a person…"
"Yoanina's doll would know. It's the same as that."
Yoanina's doll, it was an old paradox.
During the Second Empire of Humans, there was a magician. Her name was Yoanina, and it is said that she saved her country by using a doll made of steel.
When she died, the citizens displayed the doll she had left behind, which no one could handle, in the plaza. However, because the doll was made of steel, it corroded over time, and each time it corroded, the corroded parts had to be removed and newly made parts had to be attached.
The citizens boasted that they had the old one intact whenever foreigners passed through the plaza, but one day a foreigner heard the story and asked.
- Yoanina's doll is hundreds of years old. How many times have you replaced the doll's parts during that time? Everything that makes up the doll has been replaced with new ones, and not a single part that touched the magician's hand remains. Can this be called her doll?
As if he knew the story, Rashid let out a short sigh, "Ah."
"Has my son been replaced?"
"To be precise, the corpse has been replaced."
Ulrich picked up one of the monster's tendrils from the floor.
"You said it yourself. After your son stopped breathing, you gave him medicine, and he didn't wake up immediately after taking the medicine. Why didn't he wake up right away? Because it took time for this to grow and take root, to control the body. Your son never came back to life. A bug that used the corpse as a host simply used you with the remaining memories."
"I… I've been thinking wrong my whole life."
Rashid continued, breathing heavily.
"I believed my son had come back to life, but from the beginning, it wasn't my son. It's not just that something went wrong and went awry, but because it wasn't my son in the first place…"
"..."
"I couldn't let my son die twice. I couldn't revive that child with my greed and let him die again… That's why I committed the acts I committed against you over and over again."
A wrinkled hand grabbed Ulrich's arm.
"I have sinned. But my son, if the monster only wore his shell, then my son is not guilty, is he…?"
"If it's not your son, then it's not your son's sin."
"Then… did the child go to heaven? Like his mother?"
There was no answer.
Roberta recalled what Ulrich had said on the day she first met him. He said that he would rather not answer than lie.
"Please tell me."
The hand gripping Ulrich's arm trembled with strength.
"There is no such thing as heaven. Death is the end in itself."
"The end… is the end?"
"There is nothing after death."
"But what about the soul? Doesn't the soul reincarnate?"
"That is also different from what you believe."
"...It's hard to believe."
The trembling spread throughout his body. It was as if he was struggling to hear what he wanted to hear, shaking off the death that was approaching. Ulrich took the old man's hand and placed his hand on his forehead. Only then did the trembling subside.
"If there is no God, no heaven, no soul, then what is this world?"
"It is a harsh world. In this world where the master of the heavens has left and the order they created runs rampant, it is inevitable that you are deluded by the illusion of eternity."
Ulrich said quietly.
"But don't worry. The death your son experienced was only once. The sins that occurred after death are not your son's, and he did not suffer any pain."
"That's, right."
Rashid relaxed and released the strength in his hand. His breathing subsided.
"I should have listened."
His eyes lost their light, and his mouth began to dry out, remaining open. The death that had been postponed and postponed finally caught the old man. Ulrich closed his eyes for him. And a long silence followed in the office.
Roberta stood blankly. Even though there was a commotion, the hallway was quiet. Whether they didn't hear the sound or ignored it even after hearing it, no one came. She looked at Ulrich, wondering what to do now.
"Roberta."
"Yes, Lord."
Ulrich slowly got up and said.
"If you have anything you want to ask, ask it now. It's not a pleasant story to talk about later, so I'd like to finish it now if possible."
Anything she wanted to ask? There was a mountain of them. The questions surrounding the lord only increased, and never decreased. How did he know the boy's identity, how did he recover from his injuries, and so on, but the biggest question was about the mention of heaven and the soul.
According to the scriptures, heaven is the place where the gods left, and hell is the place where the evil gods were expelled. Also, when a person dies, they are divided into good souls and evil souls and go to heaven and hell.
Ulrich denied that. He didn't know about souls, but he asserted that heaven didn't exist. It was a more serious matter than arbitrarily performing infant baptism.
However, after much deliberation, she shook her head.
"No. I'm okay."
"I'm sure you have more than one or two questions."
"That's true. But… I don't think I should know right now."
He raised his head, and the two people's eyes met. No matter how many times she looked at him, he had the appearance of someone her age, but she increasingly felt the passage of time in that face.
That was why she didn't ask.
Wouldn't this be how you feel when standing in front of a snake pit? You have to put your hand in to catch the snake, but you don't know if there really is a snake beyond that, and if there is, what kind of snake it is. You'll only know if you put your hand in.
And if she asked as if putting her hand in a cave, he would answer truthfully. The problem was what came next. The question remained whether she could accept it. What kind of answer would come out? If he were to tell her something in this place that would completely shatter her common sense, what would she do?
She decided to postpone it for a while.
At least not yet, even if she had to make a decision someday, not now when she didn't know him, she suppressed her desires and obligations.
"You're similar after all."
Ulrich smiled faintly as he looked at her.
"I told you before, you resemble Alonso. That child was the same. He was so curious, but he was careful about asking me. He said it felt like putting his hand in a snake pit."
She flinched.
"When I think about it, everyone who stayed by my side for a long time was like that. Hilde only asked at the very end. It's nothing to me… but you were always careful about asking."
Ulrich lightly shook the bell on the desk. Then, as if they had been waiting at the end of the hallway, footsteps began to be heard. Roberta was sure that it was the sound of the butler, Bernhard, coming.
"Roberta, do you know how many priests there were between your predecessor and Alonso? If you don't know, check it out. I think you'll be able to stay for a long time."
#
The incident passed quietly.
The incident in which the lord was attacked by a guest in his office went without much comment, even though the office had become a sea of blood. If such an incident had occurred in the Nua Grand Temple, even the serfs would have been gossiping about it, but Ditmarschen was quiet.
It doesn't mean that the gag order was well enforced. Roberta saw the servants exchanging stories about that day. But the reaction was lukewarm.
"I heard the lord was attacked."
"Oh, really."
What is this place?
That was the weight of the incident for the people of Ditmarschen. She felt embarrassed because she had been worried that it would be noisy for a while, but she was the only one who was making a fuss.
'Is it because they resemble the lord?'
Why are they so carefree? Is it because they are close to the Mana-ridden Ice Peninsula and encounter all sorts of strange things? Or is it because the lord's existence itself is strange? She thought both were true, but the lord was heavier.
Because he was a really strange person.
"..."
And the following spring, Alonso's letter arrived.
The letter, which began with greetings, was filled with memories of when he was assigned to Ditmarschen until the middle of the content. Even she, who had been reading the letter with pleasure, had a nonchalant expression on her face because the introduction was so empty.
.
.
.
...I read the letter Ulrich sent. He praised you. You did well. Roberta, I'm sorry to say this to you, but I hope you stay by his side for a very long time. If he likes you, he will protect that position while you are there.
I will not answer the questions you sent. My predecessor, Clemens, knew too much. I don't want you to end up like him.
We sometimes forget the enlightenment that the process gives us because we are so focused on the answer. Why do you think thirteen priests have passed between you and me? Twelve of them could not find or accept the answer, and only one, Clemens, knew and accepted the answer, but that was because His Holiness taught him the answer. And that's why he went blind.
Remember that the reason you are in that position is the result.
You're probably getting used to life there and feeling like you know enough to be arrogant. But what you know is only a very, very small part. Less than touching an elephant with your eyes closed.
So, don't try to steal the answer rashly. Don't try to see him through the answer, but I hope you realize what kind of person he is in the process of finding the answer.
You can do it because you resemble me more than your mother. Also, I hope you send letters often. Ulrich sends letters more often than you do.
In the autumn of Nua, Alonso.