"Killian or Lucius?"
They asked me, and I didn't get angry at the pressure—I could understand it. Come on, girl, you know I'm asking myself the same thing. But I sat up on the bed and told them with total sincerity:
"You have to understand that I refuse to hurt myself. I want to live what I'm feeling, not just in some hypothetical way. Not dreaming like when I used to read novels back at Mary Garden, my home; not like when I danced alone in front of the mirror, wishing the love of my life would walk through the door and ask for the next song like in Pride and Prejudice. No, I want to feel it on my skin, without regrets, without leaving a chapter unfinished. Things just happened this way; I didn't go looking for them. I'm sure neither Killian nor Lucius planned it either. They can call it quits whenever they want; one could walk away and never see me again, or both could. But today, I'd be devastated. If one of them left, it would break my heart. That's why I can't decide right now. I've already suffered enough in my life because of other people and their lack of love. I've already had to cry over the loss of my foster mother, the only person who ever taught me that happiness was possible. I don't want to be the one responsible for hurting myself by making a choice that would tear me in half."
Killian kissed my hand and joked:
"Then I'll have to tell Emilia Touré, our designer, to cancel your wedding dress."
I doubled down, replying with irony:
"A wedding joke? Seriously? Right here in front of your future wife, Annia? Ha, ha, ha... I'm dying of laughter."
Annia added:
"I wouldn't be caught dead in a white dress."
Evangelina was the only one of the four who was truly annoyed. Huffing like a bull, she got up, went to the other bed, and covered her face with a pillow.
Annia whispered to me:
"I'll go see what's wrong before she has one of her 'typical episodes' and stops talking to me for two days."
Killian and I stayed behind. He brought his mouth close to mine, squeezed one of my breasts, and we kissed with passion. I confess, I love his arms so much that I bit one, leaving a small mark. He tickled me and kissed me again. I turned my back to him and he pressed the full weight of his massive manhood against me, pushing until I had to ask him to stop. I was too breathless, too intoxicated by his appetite, and the Vandereck mansion is the worst place in the world to lose my head with him—even if the word "Bunker" piqued my curiosity and turned me on.
I gave him a tender kiss and slipped out of bed to go see Evangelina. She still had the pillow over her face, and Annia already looked exhausted from talking to her without getting a response. When she saw me arrive, she thanked me for the relief and said:
"You take over, Carmilla. Find out what's wrong with this queen. See if she'll tell you what's going on. I'm going with my future husband to take care of some wedding business..."
When she reached Killian, she noticed the impossible-to-hide bulge in his pants and joked:
"I don't know how you kept the helicopter blades from chopping that thing off. Can you take it down a notch? I want to sit next to you without losing my lesbian status."
They both laughed and started talking about the wedding at Longfield; mostly, they were exchanging information about what their parents wanted.
I tried to tickle Evangelina, but she just jerked away and said:
"No! Stop, I'm not in the mood."
I leaned into her ear and whispered:
"You are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe. If you cover yourself with that pillow, this world becomes a horrible place. Come on, let me see you."
She obeyed, though she still looked angry. She looked at me and said in a low voice:
"I'm not used to being rejected. I asked if you'd stay with us and you said you weren't sure... what a lovely answer! Screw you, Evangelina—Carmilla doesn't want you. Now, because of you, I feel incredibly unattractive and unwanted."
I told her a little white lie, the kind that doesn't hurt anyone:
"And what did you want me to say? That my head spins when you look at me with desire? No, Annia was right there and I can't say that in front of everyone. Let it be our secret, okay?"
She smiled and said:
"It's just that you're so special, I can't wrap my head around the idea that you don't want me. Your eyes, the shape of your mouth... everything about you is designed to be a damn magnet for love. Annia doesn't get jealous, so you can say it freely... or no, no, better not tell her anything. Let it be our secret."
On the other bed, it looked like Killian and Annia were giving each other fitness advice; she was showing off her biceps and he was showing his abs. I heard Evangelina whisper:
"Should we kiss while they aren't looking?"
I laughed and told her no. She pouted. I shook my head to refuse one more time, but she got excited when she noticed I was glancing sideways to see when I could actually do it.
I gave her a tender, short kiss on the lips and pulled away. She stood up as if she'd never thrown a tantrum and said:
"Listen, I have an idea: let's cook something with the supplies here, have a light lunch, a beer or two, and then have sex until dinner time. I mean, Annia and I in there, and Killian and Carmilla can use this bed. Come on! Before the dinner where we all have to play pretend..."
Killian walked over to me, gave me a kiss, and headed toward the kitchen. Before entering, he said:
"I'm going to make you my specialty... pasta with whatever canned stuff I find in there. After that... I'm all Carmilla's."
Of course, girl, I thought: my first time is going to be in a nuclear bunker that looks like a set from The Lost World. But I adored Killian even more for it; I craved him, I wanted him inside me. You promised not to judge.
Lunch was surprisingly delicious. Basically, it was pasta with canned mushrooms sautéed in olive oil. We drank beer, and Annia and Evangelina washed the dishes while we dried and put them away—all while I tried, unsuccessfully, to stay near the three of them for more than fifteen seconds without someone pinching my ass. There was a mirror on one of the walls and I started checking myself out: my butt really does look good. I was wearing tailored trousers that made even me want to grab it, but Evangelina stood next to me and hers looked like a damn marble apple, so I playfully pushed her away. When I looked back at myself, my rear didn't seem so impressive anymore, but Killian came up and grabbed me from behind, lifting my blouse so my breasts were reflected in the glass, and that set me on fire. He stared at them, watching them harden, then he swept me up in his arms and said:
"It's time for bed, baby girl."
He carried me to the bed outside, and it wasn't long before we heard Annia's moans coming from inside.
Killian undressed me completely and then did the same himself, taking his time. We got into bed and covered ourselves with the comforter. I was so aroused I didn't need foreplay; I wanted him inside me. His size didn't scare me anymore; I just craved it. He pulled back the comforter and I opened my legs and my mouth at the same time, calling for him. Killian hovered over me, watching me, his muscles tense and perfect. He pressed his manhood against me and I pushed back, searching for it. I bit the fingers of the hand he placed on my face, as if he were asking, "Are you sure...?" I started to moan and my legs trembled with pleasure... I was about to make love for the first time.
But then, a red light and an alarm started blaring in the bunker. And I don't mean an alarm clock—it sounded like bombers were literally closing in.
Annia peeked through the door, completely naked, and said:
"I'm being notified that my father is looking for me. There's no phone service down here and I spend a lot of time in this place, so the staff knows: if I don't answer, I'm down here... and they call me with that alarm. We have to go."
Just so you understand, girl, there I was, legs wide open, ready to give myself for the first time and turned into pure desire. I didn't even care that Annia was seeing us naked. That's weird, right? Damn, I'm a weird girl! The bunker alarm stopped, and Killian stood with his back to me to pull on his pants. He said:
"I promise you, we're going to do it and it's going to be memorable. Next time, I'm going to leave you shaking for two days."
I bit my lower lip, gripped my face with both hands, and groaned:
"Why does the universe do this to me?! I was already imagining myself, years from now, telling a friend that my first time had been in a nuclear bunker with the God of War. What could possibly top that?"
Killian laughed, and I, throwing a frustrated tantrum over passion cut short at the worst possible moment, got dressed and went over to the girls.
Evangelina was still looking for her clothes when I walked in. I covered my eyes with my hands because Annia was right beside her, but Annia was the one who pulled my hands away and said:
"You can look at her."
And so I did. The two of us stood there, arm in arm, watching a completely naked Evangelina. Aware that we were staring, she began to massage her neck and then her legs, and I simply trembled from the pent-up pleasure. The Goddess of Beauty realized it; she leaned in, kissed Annia, and then kissed me. She pressed her breasts together and stood frozen in front of me to drive me even crazier, and right there—without her touching me, without me touching myself—I reached my climax, biting my lips so I wouldn't scream. They both kissed my neck lovingly, and I looked at them, happy.
Evangelina whispered something into Annia's ear, and Annia turned bright red.
I asked:
"What? Don't leave me out..."
Annia replied:
"When tonight's dinner is over, my father will take Killian to his smoking room. They'll be in there for at least two hours. And the three of us are going to use that time to play."
Like a fool, I asked:
"Play what?"
Evangelina answered:
"Oh baby, we're going to play at making sure you never, ever forget this night."