Main bihar ke ek chhote se gaon se hoon.
Lekin meri soch… mere sapne… kabhi chhote nahi the.
Bachpan se hi main thodi alag thi.
Mujhe har cheez seekhne ka shauk tha — painting, dancing, art, kuch naya create karna…
Aur sabse zyada, mujhe apne khayalon mein rehna pasand tha. Mujhe padhai start karane me maa ko problem ho rahi thi kyuki mai nahi sikh paa rahi thi lekin jab sikha toh sare book rat jati thi. Mai har waqt likhi hui chij padhti thi. Woh calender ,paper ya travel karte huye dukan pe likhi hui baate sb padhte jaati thi,khud me khoyi hui har waqt..
Main akeli baithkar bade-bade sapne dekhti thi.
Itne bade… ki shayad mujhe khud bhi nahi pata tha main kya soch rahi hoon.mai bare bare celebrity ko dekh ke yah sochti ki kabhi mai bhi aisi banungi.
Phir ek phase aaya jab main kuch time ke liye jharkhand mein rahi…
Aur phir wapas apne gaon, Bihar aa gayi.
Tab sab normal hi lag raha tha… mujhe nahi pata tha ki aage kya badalne wala hai.mai sochti ki mai sbse highest padhai karungi jaha padhai khatam hoti hongi.
Jab main sirf 7 saal ki thi, maine papa se ek sawal poocha tha —
"Padhai ka sabse last point kya hota hai?"
Papa ne muskura ke kaha —
"Jab tum chand tak pahunch jaogi, samajh lena wahi padhai ka sabse ucha point hai."
Bas us din se meri zindagi ka ek hi goal tha —
👉 "Mujhe chand par jaana hai."
Jab koi poochta — "Badi hoke kya banogi?"
Main bina soche kehti —
👉 "Main chand par jaungi."
Main padhai mein achhi thi, har cheez mein active thi…
Aur sabse zaroori — mere andar ek junoon tha.
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Lekin dheere-dheere… pata nahi kya hua…
7th ke baad sab badalne laga.
Maine padhai ko seriously lena band kar diya.
Time waste hone laga.
Interest khatam hone laga.
Dimag ab bhi tez tha…
Lekin mehnat bilkul nahi thi.
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9th class tak aate-aate…
Main woh ladki nahi rahi jo main kabhi thi.
Na main school activities mein participate karti thi…
Na main padhai mein aage thi…
Bas ek cheez reh gayi thi —
👉 Sapne… jo ab sirf sapne ban kar reh gaye the.
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Phir aaya 10th ka result…
Woh saal aisa tha jisme pure board mein sirf 40% students pass hue the.
Aur main…
👉 Pass ho gayi.
👉 Second division.
Logon ke liye shayad yeh theek tha…
Lekin mere liye?
Yeh meri haar thi.
Ghar mein nirasha thi…
Aur mere andar guilt.
Main khud se ek hi sawal pooch rahi thi —
"Jo ladki chand tak jaana chahti thi… woh yahan kaise pahunch gayi?"
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Lekin sach yeh hai…
👉 Yeh meri kahani ka sabse bura part nahi tha.
👉 Meri sabse badi galti… abhi hone wali thi.
Aur us galti ne meri zindagi ko aur neeche gira diya…
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Part 2 mein batungi —
kaise main khud se hi haar gayi… aur kya thi meri sabse badi mistake.