When someone leaves this world, many times, because they are someone very dear to us, we feel great sadness. Some people can even die of sadness from the loss of a relative; even animals, which many say do not think, can die of grief.
2019
My great-grandmother Tina was still alive during this year. She was about 80 to 87 years old; I think she might have reached 90, truthfully I'm not very sure and asking about it might not be the best thing, but that is the estimate. Most people, upon reaching a certain age, begin to have memory loss, or I think my great-grandmother had Alzheimer's.
My great-grandmother had between 5 to 7 children (well, I will tell this part in The Empress of Bambamarca so as not to mix the stories too much). Their names were Angela (my grandmother), Mary (my aunt), Cleme (my aunt), Elena (my aunt), my uncle, a cousin-sister of my grandmother, and another I will tell you about later.
Among them, they took turns caring for my great-grandmother, except for the last two. I think it was every month. My grandmother lived with my aunt Mary, so the one who cared for her the most was my aunt since they lived together. My great-grandmother needed a lot of care for three reasons: first, she had Alzheimer's; second, her body was no longer strong enough to support her weight (because of this, she was always in a wheelchair); and third, my great-grandmother had surgery and she was connected to a bag for her needs that had to be changed every day (I think that's why she got an infection). Also, she could no longer speak very clearly; she spoke in a broken way or what she said could not be understood.
SOME THINGS THEY TOLD ME
My great-grandmother used to live in Cajamarca, but since my grandmother moved to Chiclayo because she married my grandfather Isaac (who also moved because he lived in Chimbote), my great-grandparents came for my grandparents' wedding. They stayed here in Chiclayo for several years because my great-grandfather found work, but as the years went by, a crisis or something like that came: an increase in prices and costs for everything, from bread to land. My great-grandparents had to return to Cajamarca because they had their farmland there, since where my great-grandfather was paid was not enough to pay rent and they only had about 600 soles left. (Before they came, they had left my aunt Elena to take care of those lands). But my great-grandmother begged my grandmother to help them get a piece of land.
TINA (GREAT-GRANDMOTHER): Daughter, I don't want to go back there because I know I'll have to work like a mule until I'm exhausted, and I want to stay and see my little grandchildren. (Cries). GRANDMOTHER: Mommy, I wish I could help you but I don't know anyone, but I'm going to go ask around the market, maybe someone will help me. TINA: I hope so, daughter, I don't want to, I don't want to go there, I don't want to. (Cries). GRANDMOTHER: Don't worry, mommy, I will do everything possible to help you.
GOD ALWAYS TAKES CARE OF US
I forgot to say something: my great-grandparents were Catholic before and then they became Adventists because of life's circumstances, and with me today, it would be the fourth generation of Adventists. My grandparents and parents always tell me "trust in God because He always helps us," and my grandmother always tells me this story:
One day my grandmother went out to the market and as she passed by, she saw some lots for sale. Most people wanted to sell because they would do better in the highlands, since there wasn't much work in the city due to the increase in the cost of everything. (At that time, all those people believed that everything was just going up and that they weren't in a crisis, since most were from the highlands and didn't know about it; this is just a fact according to what I was told, but well, let's go back).
My grandmother went past several lots and at every house she asked, they told her 1000, 1500, 2000... very high prices for her budget. So my grandmother went home sad because she hadn't found anything. She arrived and said:
GRANDMOTHER: Mommy, I didn't find anything. (Hugs her). TINA: It's okay, my daughter, don't worry, I'll be fine there. GRANDMOTHER: Mommy...
That night my grandmother cried and prayed to God to help her and, if it was His will, to help her mother. GRANDMOTHER: Father GOD, help us. And she fell asleep. According to what my grandmother told me, she dreamed she was in the market and someone said to her: "Go to sister Germina's house, go with her to an area next to the market, go to a green house and there you will find what you need in block 7, lot 7."
When she finished dreaming, my grandmother got up and thanked God for what He was doing for her. She got up at 7 and went to the market, but before she arrived, she went to sister Germina (a sister from the church) and told her that her mother was going to leave and that she needed to find land but had very little money. GERMINA: Oh, sister! A few blocks past Grau Park, two blocks before the market, I heard someone is selling a house. Let's go see, sister. GRANDMOTHER: Of course, sister, let's go.
When they went, they entered a large house that said "for sale" and knocked on the door twice. When they were just about to leave, they knocked one last time and a man came out. MAN: Good morning, are you looking to buy the land? BOTH: Yes, sir.
The man invited them in and when they sat down, the man went and brought them bread and a drink. My grandmother thought it was a waste of time because the house was very large and surely it would cost a lot, and she said: GRANDMOTHER: Sir, excuse us, but could you tell us how much your house costs? Since it would be a waste of time for you if we cannot buy it. MAN: Yes, of course, the house... let's see, I'll give it to you for 500 soles. BOTH: WHAT!! MAN: If it's too high we can lower it... GRANDMOTHER: No sir, that's fine. I'll buy it, tomorrow I'll come to buy it. MAN: Then I will wait for you tomorrow.
My grandmother said goodbye to the sister and then went home and told everyone what happened. Everyone rejoiced, worshipping and singing to God because He had helped them. This little story they told me shows how God helps us, and my grandmother even found it for 100 soles less (but at that time the sol was worth more). Many will say "no, that's false," but this is real and miracles exist. God helps His children because He loves them; He only seeks for them to love Him and respect His commandments out of love for Him.
LET'S FAST FORWARD A FEW YEARS
My grandmother once told me that when her father CHEGO died, I was born. Although my birth practically meant the death of my great-grandfather, they didn't take it that way; for them, it was the beginning of something new. I couldn't meet him, but a fact about my great-grandfather is that he was the one who knew how to play the violin.
But let's move forward. My grandmother had come to Chiclayo to see her mother, since it was her turn to care for her the next day because my aunt Cleme was going to Trujillo where her children were. That day, my uncle (my grandmother's son) asked my GRANDMOTHER to take care of his children since his wife was going to Motupe and he had to take her. My grandmother agreed, but right at that moment my uncle Ezequiel calls and says: UNCLE: Sister, come, our little mother is sick. GRANDMOTHER: Yes, I will go.
Just as they are talking, my uncle's wife comes in, who didn't get along with almost the entire RUIZ family, and said: AUNT: The old woman finally died. (And yes, sisters-in-law and mothers-in-law often don't get along. But that was a delicate moment and that's why my uncle said it that way, but my aunt made everyone feel a great sadness).
My uncle (my grandmother's son) heard everything and told my mother "don't go take care of them anymore." As soon as she found out, my GRANDMOTHER went to see her. My other uncles notified the family and my aunts who lived in Cajamarca, Empera and Elena, who notified the rest of the family in CAJAMARCA. Everyone came the next day for the funeral and to comfort my grandmother (many times what brings the family together most is a funeral).
At that moment I didn't understand very well what death was and that's why I stayed home. According to what my mom said, when they were at a cemetery a pastor spoke and, although many felt the loss of a family member, they also rejoiced because they know my great-grandmother was always faithful to God and when Jesus comes we will see her.
When they held the mourning, they called all the brothers and sisters from the church; my great-grandmother had been in the church and had made many friendships. I remember I saw the coffin and I got scared; when I got closer and it opened, I got scared. Later I was taken home and my great-grandmother was taken to the Jardines de la Paz cemetery and, after a preaching, she rested there. Her last words, through all the madness, Alzheimer's, and discomfort, were:
TINA: Do not turn away from God, my children.
(Forgive me if I talk a bit about religion but it is to improve the experience).
Thank you very much for reading.