If I truly love one person, I love all persons, I love the world, I love life.
To be able to say to someone, 'I love you,'
is the same as saying, 'I love all people through you,
I love the world through you,
and through you, I love even myself.'
— Erich Seligmann Fromm —
Amazarashi's Boku ga Shinou to Omotta no wa (The Reason I Thought I'd Die) can be called a truly "Rock 'n' Roll" song. Ultimately, Rock 'n' Roll is about expressing your emotions honestly, without a shred of shame.
'And it's the perfect song to use as a closing number for a performance.'
As I finished the song and looked around, one figure stood out among the crowd: a small girl in a hat, shedding tiny tears.
She wore a hat pulled low and scruffy, stretched-out clothes. With her purple hair, she looked strangely familiar. I had a premonition that if she grew up, she would become a staggering beauty.
'But was my performance really enough to make someone cry...?'
However, seeing her appearance and expressionless face—neither of which suited her age—I figured she was a girl carrying her own set of burdens. Isn't it said that a great song pulls out the stories buried deep within the heart?
'I swear I've seen her somewhere before... She looks a bit like the model from that cover song...'
I stared intently at the girl's face, trying to sift through my memories. Then, my eyes met her purple pupils—eyes that had stars embedded within them.
'Stars in her eyes...?'
The moment our gaze met, the girl breathed light into those stars. She flashed a smile that felt somewhat artificial and sent a calculated look my way.
"Give me your phone number! My favorite!"
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"So, what did you say your name was... little lady?"
"Who are you calling a 'little lady'! I have the name [Ai]!"
Eyes containing stars and a smile that felt fabricated.
Having spent a long time grinding as an E-class session musician, I could tell immediately that this girl, Ai, was wearing a manufactured smile.
'A child trying to be deceptive... it's so obvious.'
To be honest, any casual observer could see she was faking her brightness. Of course, if she were to become a singer, she would likely become an incredible star. Unless someone had been in the industry for a very long time, those soul-capturing eyes of hers would thoroughly mask her artificial cheer.
"So, what do you want with me? If you've become a young fan, should I give you an autograph?"
Ai looked at the boy and slowly opened her mouth.
"I don't need an autograph! I want to talk!"
"Talk about what?"
"How can you speak from your [Heart] on stage?"
"First off, how old are you...?"
"Ah... 13!"
To be perfectly honest, it wasn't pleasant watching a child force herself to act bright. A child should be the most radiant kind of star—the kind that shines brilliantly without worrying about what others think.
"For starters, why don't you stop forcing that cheerful act and just speak comfortably?"
"Ehh...? This is me speaking comfortably?!"
Usually, children who force a bright persona show two characteristics. First, they are defensive to hide their own wounds. Second, there is some form of 'lack' within their hearts.
In the end, even if humans look fine on the outside, everyone lives while harboring their own private illnesses. Having finished my thought, I matched my eye level with the young girl calling herself 'Ai' and spoke slowly.
Because she was a child, she could learn many things. Even if she was wounded, it could heal, even if it left a scar. However, the prerequisite was that she had to struggle and fight. A bird that wants to fly must first break its world to break the egg.
"Speaking from the heart on stage isn't hard. You just have to feel it. Feel the sincere emotions that come while performing, surrender your body to those feelings, and enjoy yourself. If you wear a mask and force yourself to look bright like you are now, it will be hard to speak with sincerity during a performance."
"How did you know I was lying...?"
"Maybe just because I've lived longer than you?"
"Ehh? You only look three or four years older than me, though?"
"But as an artist, I've probably lived much longer."
The boy grinning slyly in front of the girl didn't just seem older in years.
It was as if he was telling her this:
'A lie is just a lie.'
His answer to her question was filled with self-conviction. Unlike herself, who was full of [Lies], he felt like a real [Star].
Ai could finally identify the emotion she was feeling toward him.
She was hungering for the [Sincerity] she felt from him.
"From now on, you're my Oshi!"
"Are you back from your little excursion?"
"It was the best!"
She wanted the honest, raw emotions he displayed—something she couldn't do herself. Because he looked like a true star, she wanted to reach out and touch him.
"Because Ai is a greedy girl!☆"
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"So, what's my Oshi's name?"
"Uh...?"
I was in trouble. I didn't even know my own Japanese name... and I couldn't exactly give her a Korean name. Ah, wait, there's a fitting name, right?
"Just call me Hide. It's my stage name."