Author Notes: this idea has been bugging me for days that I finally made a story, I already made a framework of how this story is going, expect a bit of OOC from characters in canon as I have factored in changes and consequences of more pieces being added in the board, tho it would probably be not that prevalent, just a sprinkle of this and that which makes the interactions of the characters more grounded. I hoped I get the chaos of Gintama right
~I hope to see any suggestions you can give me
Chapter 1 In New Eridu a Samurai and a Pink Rabbit are the same sides of being broke
Yorozuya Gin-chan
"New Eridu," a voice echoed with practiced gravitas. "It's also the City of Miracles. It is close to where Hollow Zero resides and serves as the last surviving mega-city of humanity. Founded by the legendary Void Hunters, this city serves as the bastion of humanity's fight against the Hollows, where proxies and agents collaborate to explore the treacherous hollows, our journey in turning Yorozuya Gin-chan into a legend has just begu—"
"Nope. Stop. Just. stop."
A man leaning against the railing with his silver hair being ruffled by a breeze that smelled faintly of ozone and cheap ramen, he's wearing an inner black high-collared shirt with red trimming along the collar and the center opening, with the outer being a white yukata with a blue swirl pattern, only wearing the left side hanging on his shoulder with the other side hanging down to his black trousers and high boots. Sakata Gintoki was staring listlessly at a small rabbit-like robot that reaches down to his shin, a generic and battered bangboo without any customization that was currently trying to climb up on him.
"Shinpachi, I've told you a thousand times," Gintoki continued, not looking up. "The 'narrative' doesn't pay the rent and we still don't have any commissions or jobs and our legend is basically an office with carboards as our furniture. At this rate that pink rabbit will gloat on our corpses when we run out of food, we can't just keep on robbing MADAO for emergency dennies you know?"
"But Gin-san, we have to establish the Yorozuya's presence In New Eridu and make an expositon!" Shinpachi cried, waving his arms at their, empty office space. "We don't even have a desk yet! We're just three people in a room with a newly fixed bangboo we found in a dumpster!"
A girl wearing a red qipao, Kagura, was currently leaning on her purple umbrella. "I don't care about the lore, Pachi-boy, that can come up in a convenient time. What I want to know is where is Sadaharu? Did he get out again? Those people from PUBSEC are going to bother us again by not accompanying him for walks, you know?"
"Speaking of the Hares…" Gintoki muttered, looking up and pushing the bangboo away with his boot. "When's Billy going to come? He called me about wanting to show me something good earlier-"
As if on cue, a red-clad figure skated around the corner, entering the empty office and performing a flashy 360-degree spin before landing perfectly in front of them. It was Billy Kid, his mechanical eyes whirring with excitement.
"Yo, G-man! Check it out!" Billy shouted, holding up a limited-edition Starlight Knight action figure. "I found this rare metallic variant in a thrift shop! You gotta see the articulation of this bad boy!"
Gintoki's eyes lit up. "No way! Is that one with a detachable cape? Move over, Pachi-boy, the real men are talking" he waved off Shinpachi "go make that exposition of yours in the corner."
Within seconds, the "leader of Yorozuya Gin-chan" and the "Starlight Knight's Biggest Fan" were huddled together, geeking out over a plastic figure. A few seconds later Anby Demara who accompanied Billy wandered over, holding a burger in one hand and in another a paper bag filled with burgers and nodding stoically at Shinpachi before looking at Kagura.
"Here" Anby said in her usual monotone as she handed a wrapped burger to Kagura.
"See, Shinpachi?" Gintoki laughed seeing Anby giving Kagura a burger and slapping Billy on his metallic shoulder. "The Hares are alright! It's like having a weird mechanical younger brother and a poker faced little sister who eats as much burger as Kagura."
"YOU'RE THE REASON WE HAVE THE RIVALRY WITH THE HARES YOU MORON!" screamed Shinpachi as he pointed at Gintoki who ignored him
"I'm older than you tho" corrected Billy to Gintoki
"Yeah Pachi-boy, even Anby gives me burgers every time we meet, it's their Pink Haired Gin-chan we should worry about"
"Oh, is that so?"
"Oh no not again" complained Shinpachi and lowering his face on his hands as he prepares himself for an another encounter with the leader of the Cunning Hares and the leader of Yorozuya Gin-chan.
A sharp, clicking sound of high heels hit the pavement. The atmosphere chilled instantly. Nicole Demara stood there, her hands on her hips, her pink hair practically glowing with irritation as she glared at the Yorozuya.
"Billy! Anby! why do you fraternizing with these charity cases? get back here!" Nicole barked. She marched up to Gintoki and poked a finger into his chest. "And you listen here, you perm-headed deadbeat. This district isn't big enough for two 'odd-job' agencies. Especially one that is managed by someone that looks like a walking dead!" she then looked at Kagura "And don't compare me to this deadbeat!"
Shinpachi then looked at the gathered people in the room from the corner he stood on. He sighs still remembering how this rivalry between Yorozuya and the Cunning Hares which had just started five days ago when they have just started their business in this neighborhood. The Cunning Hares who had cornered a high-paying lost cat commission that had wandered into the outskirts of a Hollow. Just as Nicole was about to catch the cat, Gintoki had crashed a stolen scooter directly into the Ethereal guarding the cat, grabbed the feline, and handed it to the client for the grand price of 'a month's supply of premium strawberry milk and a lesser fee offered to the Cunning Hares'. this continued for sometime with Yorozuya —Gintoki specifically— 'coincidentally' and 'accidentally' interfering some missions of the Cunning Hares, which resulted in Nicole plotting Yorozuya's —still Gintoki's— demise ever since.
"If I was a zombie, I wouldn't even try to bite you, you debt magnet. Your debts might be a biohazard" Gintoki retorted, digging into his ear. "And we aren't charity cases. We're an 'Independent Agency.' It sounds more professional" He corrected.
"You're a leech!" Nicole snapped. "I saw you trying to undercut my commission for that Hollow cargo retrieval yesterday! You told the client you'd do it for a lower fee!"
"It was a first-time client commission discount" Gintoki lazily corrected.
"You should've included some meat and rice, Gin-chan," Kagura added with a mouthful of burger.
"I don't care if it was a first-time client discount or a promo!" Nicole screamed, her face turning red and pointing at his face. "Stay out of my territory and my commissions, or I'll have Billy blast those glasses right off your sidekick's face!"
"WHY ME! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING YOU DENNY-LESS IDIOTS!" shouted Shinpachi in the corner as he was suddenly included in the grudge match between the two leaders.
Nicole then turned and looked at both her employees "Billy, Anby. We're leaving these charity cases. We have actual work to do"
Billy looked up from the action figure, confused. "Wait, Nicole, I was actually going to ask G-man if he wanted to go to the arcade—"
"SHUT UP, BILLY!"
Nicole turned back to Gintoki, her eyes narrowing. "This is war, Gintoki. Every denny you earn is a denny you've stolen from me." She then dragged both her employees by their collar and left the office.
As Nicole dragged her teammates away—Anby still calmly finishing her burger and Billy waving a goodbye to Gintoki—Shinpachi sighed.
"Well," Shinpachi adjusted his glasses. "At least the others are nice."
"She's just mad because I have more natural charisma than what she has in her entire bank account," Gintoki said, turning back to his empty office. "Come on. We need to find Sadaharu before those PUBSEC officers find him and then find ourselves a MADAO. I heard he is currently living in a cardboard box on fourteenth street. I want to see if he's found us any commission."
Gentle House
As the door to the Gentle House agency slammed shut with enough force to rattle the assorted, unpaid utility bills tacked to the corkboard near the door. Nicole Demara paced the length of their office, the heels of her boots striking the floorboards like a ticking time bomb.
"I can't believe them," Nicole muttered, her voice steadily climbing in pitch. "I refuse to believe them! An 'Independent Agency'? They don't even have a business license! They only have that signage outside their office! That perm-headed deadbeat is going to ruin the local economy! Do you know how hard it is to maintain a standard minimum fee -and hide the fact that we also take Hollow raiding commissions- when some idiot with a wooden sword is offering Hollow-diving services for lower fees and IOUs!? Even telling people to spread the name of the 'Yorozuya Gin-chan'! He'll drag the City Administration on our heads investigate!"
Billy Kid, currently sprawled on the worn leather sofa, was carefully adjusting the articulation and making poses on his newly acquired limited-edition Starlight Knight figure. "I don't know, boss. G-man seemed pretty cool. Did you know he actually watched the original theatrical release of Starlight Knight: The Crimson Nebula? He even knows the secret handshake!"
"Billy, if you ever do a secret handshake with that Perm-head again, I am selling your custom revolvers to pay off our tab at the noodle stand," Nicole snapped, whirling around and pointing a manicured finger at his metallic visor.
Billy immediately clutched his twin revolvers to his chest protectively. "Not the girls! I promise! strictly professional rivalry from now on!"
Anby, sitting quietly in the corner, folded the wrapper of her burger into a precise, tiny square. "Technically, their business model is highly competitive. By having lesser fees and using favors, they can make more connections to the people by gaining popularity, they really can afford to undercut us on the open market."
"Not helping, Anby!" Nicole groaned, massaging her temples. She walked over to her desk, shoved aside a pile of past-due notices, pulled out her laptop from under the desk, rotated it to the front and loudly slapped her hand at the desk. The noise finally got Billy to look up from his toy.
"anyway. This," Nicole announced, a greedy, triumphant gleam returning to her eyes, "is our ticket out of the red. And more importantly, it's going to prove once and for all who the premier odd-jobs agency in New Eridu really is."
She opened the commission message and the accompanying file, revealing grainy surveillance photos of a group of thugs wearing crimson jackets.
"The Red Fang Gang," Anby read from the message, leaning forward slightly. "A mid-tier syndicate. Highly aggressive. Prone to using brute force."
"Exactly," Nicole grinned. "And those meatheads are carrying a very specific, very highly classified strongbox. The client wants it, completely unopened. And the payout? Let's just say it has enough zeroes to make me forgive Billy for shooting up that client's vintage car last week."
"Hey, the Ethereal was in the car!" Billy protested. "It was a necessity!"
"The point is," Nicole continued, ignoring him, "this commission is massive. We go in, we secure the box, and we get paid. Cold Hard Dennies. No strawberry milks. No IOUs."
"We have Mission Intel?" Anby pointed out, her tone characteristically flat. "Incomplete intel will lead to a chance of mission failure."
Nicole's grin widened into a full-blown, predatory smirk. She leaned over the desk, her eyes practically turning into Denny symbols. "Oh, don't worry about the Intel, Anby. I have that covered."
Billy gasped "You do?"
"I do," Nicole said, puffing out her chest. "Do you have any idea what I went through to get this? I pulled strings, favors, and sacrificed a fraction of my sanity," Nicole declared. "But for this job, we are going all out." She pulled out a thick folder and dropped it to the table.
A heavy silence fell over the room. Even Anby, who looked mildly impressed picked up the folder to read its contents.
"Miguel Silver himself will be accompanying the cargo, so it is expected he has plenty of his grunts accompanying him in securing the cargo" explained Nicole as Anby reads the Intel with Billy over her shoulder, Nicole then traced a path on the map "this will be their path in the Fourteenth street" she then pointed at a corner near a building "And this will be where we hit them, secure the safebox and lose them inside this building" Nicole then puts her hands on her hips as she finishes her explanation.
"With this intel we'll be in and out before the Red Fangs even know what hit them," Nicole declared, slamming the folder shut. "It's foolproof. It's flawless. It's a goldmine."
She walked toward the door, throwing her pink jacket over her shoulders with dramatic flair. "Suit up Hares. We move out in fifteen minutes."
"Right on, boss!" Billy cheered, spinning his revolvers and striking a dynamic pose. "The Cunning Hares are gonna show those Red Fang punks the true meaning of justice! Starlight, shine!"
They then began their preparation Billy checking his ammunition and his guns, Anby her backpack and her sword and finally Nicole with her briefcase.
As they filed out of Gentle House, Nicole paused at the threshold, her eyes narrowing as she glanced down the street toward the dilapidated building where Odd Jobs had set up shop. She could see Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Kagura leaving their office, finding their giant white dog outside about to head back when it spotted Gintoki, immediately jumped and gnawed on his head, making him scream and try to dislodge his head while Kagura and Shinpachi ignores him.
"And Billy?" Nicole added, her voice dropping to a deadly serious whisper as she opened her car door and entered the driver's seat.
"Yeah, boss?"
"If we see that silver-haired clown, the glasses, or that girl anywhere near our mission area... you have my full authorization to shoot them, specifically Gintoki, if possible, aim for his crotch. I am not letting 'Odd Jobs Gin-chan' steal my rightfully earned denies." She then closes the door with a thud.
"Um, why the specific target at the crotch boss?" Billy asked afraid of the answer as he entered the car.
Nicole just stayed silent while smiling and humming throughout the trip, not answering Billy's question.