The bookstore smelled of old paper and overconfidence. Hiro was already waiting in the philosophy aisle, leaning against a shelf with a slim poetry collection in hand. He wore a turtleneck, scarf indoors, and had the expression of a man who believed metaphors could win wars.
"Kae," Hiro said solemnly, stepping forward. "Do you believe souls are like books—meant to be read by those with the patience to turn every page?"
Kae blinked. "…Do you practice these in the mirror, or do they just fall out of your brain like that?"
Souta, mid-sip of his vending machine latte, snorted so hard the drink shot up his nose and sprayed across his desk-sized beanbag. He choked, coughing into his sleeve. "Pffft—oh god—!"
The Unknown, perched beside him with legs crossed and a tall glass of iced brew, chuckled like a man who'd seen this scene a thousand times. He took a long, slow sip, his grin sharp in the steam.
Hiro, undeterred but visibly rattled, tried again. "A-Actually, what I meant was… perhaps destiny wrote our meeting in the margins of eternity—"
Kae raised an eyebrow. "If that was in the margins, I'd rip the page out."
Souta toppled sideways this time, clutching his stomach as laughter strangled his breathing. Hiro straightened his blazer, trying to salvage dignity. "What I meant was… when I see you, Kae, it feels like the stars themselves envy your light."
She stared flatly. "…Pretty sure stars are giant balls of gas. That's the vibe you're giving off."
Souta choked again, half his drink blasting out his nose. "PFFFFFT—!!!" He slammed his cup down, hacking through laughter. "Oh my god, I can't—"
The Unknown clapped once, slow and mocking, eyes gleaming. He sipped his iced brew, entirely composed in contrast to Souta's meltdown.
Hiro's cheeks flushed. He pressed forward, voice shaking. "No, no—what I meant was… you're like a rare, priceless book, and I… I want to spend my life reading you."
Kae narrowed her eyes. "…Do you even return your library books on time?"
Souta fell backward onto the beanbag, clutching his ribs as tears of laughter spilled down his cheeks. "Ohhh this is better than TV—!"
The Unknown leaned in, grinning like the devil himself. "This one bleeds beautifully. I might frame this memory."
Now desperate, Hiro held out a poetry collection with trembling hands. "Kae, please—let me read this to you. Just one verse—"
Then Souta absolutely lost it, rolling off the seat and wheezing on the floor. The Unknown actually chuckled out loud this time, savoring the chaos like fine wine. "Ah… tragedy dressed as comedy. Humanity never fails to entertain."
Kae stood, dusting off her skirt. "Thanks for the… words, Hiro. I'll treasure them in the same drawer where I keep expired coupons."
And with that, she walked off, leaving Hiro frozen mid-reach.
Souta dragged himself upright, still laughing so hard his chest hurt. He slapped Hiro's shoulder on the way out. "Hey, you never stood a chance, it was only meant to happen."
The Unknown tipped his cup with a smirk. "At this point, I'm feeling sorry."
The dates were getting wrecked faster than I could blink. The park's fountain sparkled under the sun as Daichi cracked his knuckles and flexed like he was in a protein powder commercial.
"Kae, when I carry you, it won't just be metaphorical," he announced, and before she could react, he actually tried to scoop her bridal-style.
But Kae sidestepped effortlessly, leaving him to topple sideways into the grass with a grunt.
From the bench, Souta sipped his soda enjoying the ongoing agony.
The Unknown swirled his coffee, amused. "Mortals lifting weights… yet unable to lift dignity."
Kae leaned over Daichi, arms crossed. "Try that again and I'll introduce your face to the fountain."
Next up was Takumi, who adjusted his glasses like he was about to conduct a board meeting. He pulled out a clipboard—yes, an actual clipboard.
"Kae Asamiya?" he began, pen poised. "What are your long-term goals? Where do you see yourself in five years? And how do you intend to balance romance with academic excellence?"
Kae stared at him. "…Are you seriously giving me a job interview right now?"
"Yes," he said without missing a beat.
She blinked twice, then snatched the clipboard and scribbled one line across it: 'Not interested.' And she shoved it back into his hands.
Souta leaned against the wall, chuckling. "Rejection in writing. That's just cold."
The Unknown smiled thinly. "Ah… paperwork. Humanity's most elegant form of despair."
Takumi's shoulders sagged as Kae walked away without another word.
The last challenger, Shun, leaned against the school gates, sunglasses perched despite the setting sun. He flipped his hair, radiating smug confidence.
"Kae," he said, voice dripping with rehearsed charm, "I'm not like those other clowns. I'm smooth, I'm elegant, I'm—"
She plucked the sunglasses right off his face. "You wear these at night?"
"…They make me look cool," he muttered, suddenly less smooth.
"Cool people don't announce they're cool, loser" she shot back, tossing the shades into his chest and walking off.
Souta nearly doubled over laughing, clutching his stomach.