High noon.
A warm breeze brushed against his face, carrying with it the distant clamor of voices and the rhythmic clatter of horse-drawn carriages.
Ren Uchiha's eyelids felt itchy. For a fleeting second, he thought he was back in the real world—that the moment he'd been sent flying by a "Truck-kun" and left bleeding out on the asphalt was finally over.
Listening to the bustling city noise, so different from the damp silence of the cavern, Ren felt a spark of hope. Did I actually respawn? Am I back in reality?
But something was off. Why hadn't a choice menu popped up? He was ready this time; if a window appeared, he'd smash that "Great Desolate Sky-Imprisoning Finger" option without hesitation and grab those 500 million yen!
With that thought, Ren slowly blinked his eyes open.
The first thing he saw was Seiichiro Uchiha, leaning against a massive scroll right in front of him. His head was nodding up and down in a half-sleep, and drool was dangerously close to staining his collar.
Seiichiro was mumbling in his sleep: "Hehe... I have 3-Tomoe too... don't run... listen to your senior's lecture, you brat..."
Ren's expression instantly crumbled. He stared blankly at the ceiling. What the hell happened? I was literally a pile of charcoal! How did I get saved? What kind of miracle doctor did they find?!
He scanned the room. He was in a spacious attic, with sliding wooden doors leading to a balcony overlooking a street. The sunlight filtered through the windows, warming the tatami and his blanket.
Outside, through the potted cacti and oleanders, he could see a thriving city. Crowds surged through streets lined with unique shops—izakayas, dango stalls, grocery stores, and hot spring bathhouses.
Ren finally realized the truth: He wasn't dead. And he was in Yunokage (The City of Steam)—the capital of the Land of Steam and their original mission destination.
It seemed Seiichiro had not only completed the mission but had "over-performed" by dragging Ren's half-dead carcass back from the cult.
How?! Ren thought, bewildered. Even Tsunade, the world's best medic, would have looked at my injuries and said, "Forget it, he's a goner, goodbye!"
The rustle of the blankets woke Seiichiro.
"Eh? Ren, you're awake? How do you feel? Does your body hurt anywhere?" Seiichiro scrambled closer, his voice filled with an uncharacteristic eagerness.
Ren instinctively scooted his backside away, his face a mask of stone. What's up with this guy? Why is he so friendly all of a sudden? We've barely said twenty words to each other since we left the village. He found he actually missed the arrogant, junior-hating Seiichiro from three days ago.
"Seiichiro-senpai?" Ren frowned, pointing around the room. "What is this? How am I here?"
"Oh, this place?" Seiichiro chirped. "This is an Uchiha contact point in the City of Steam. It used to belong to the Ninja Cats, but Captain Fugaku bought it out. On the surface, it's an izakaya; in reality, it's the biggest ninja tool shop in the city and the entrance to the underground black market."
Ren raised an eyebrow. He knew the Uchiha were wealthy, but Fugaku just buying a black-market hub on a whim was next-level. This place was a goldmine of information—it meant the Uchiha's ties to the Ninja Cats were even deeper than the legends said.
"How long was I out?" Ren asked the crucial question. "And what happened while I was asleep?"
"You were out for three days. Thanks to Lord Orochimaru! He truly lives up to his name as a Sannin—a literal miracle worker!"
"What?" Ren's brain stalled. "Orochimaru... saved me?"
Orochimaru? A combat medic? Since when?! Isn't the healer of the trio supposed to be Tsunade? What kind of twisted world is this?
Seiichiro, now fully energized, began to recount the events of the last three days with 3% truth and 97% exaggerated ego.
From Seiichiro's rambling, logically-flawed story, Ren tried to piece things together. He heard about Fugaku standing paralyzed with his team, a "brave Chunin" (Seiichiro) screaming at the future Clan Leader, and Orochimaru hiding a "secret legendary medical jutsu."
This is garbage writing! Not even a webnovel would dare to be this ridiculous! Ren thought.
He immediately opened his system interface. The logs wouldn't lie to him:
[Log:][Orochimaru believed you were dead and wanted to take your body for research.][Orochimaru used a physical technique: 'Bite'.][You have mastered: Cursed Seal of Heaven (A-, Fragmented, Extremely Dangerous).]
Ren blinked. He looked up at Seiichiro, a wave of shock washing over him. Holy crap, he wasn't lying. They actually let that snake bite me!
Seiichiro, misinterpreting Ren's shocked expression as pure admiration, felt a surge of pride that made him tingle from head to toe. "Cough! So, that's how it went."
Then, he immediately reverted to his "senior" persona, lifting his chin and looking down his nose at Ren. "Anyway, about that time you saved my life... we're even now."
Ren was nearly choked by the sheer weight of the "Uchiha Traditional Tsundere" energy. He felt like he might pass out again just from the stress.
"Damn it... what a disaster," Ren muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Seiichiro asked.
"Nothing." Ren looked at him, his teeth literally chattering with suppressed irritation. "I said... I really, truly thank you, Seiichiro-senpai!"
"Hmph! Keep your flattery to yourself!" Seiichiro turned away to hide his grin of pure satisfaction. "Don't expect me to keep helping you just because of a few kind words."
Ren let out a heavy, soul-weary sigh.
What now? Immortality + Zero-Tails + Dark Chakra + Cursed Seal + Body Activation. I'm too tanky! I'm way too tanky! Even if a Jonin hacks at me for an hour, I probably won't die. How am I supposed to 'accidentally' die for the insurance money now?
Just then, Seiichiro stood up and slid the door open. "Since you're awake, follow me. There are a few things you need to handle—"
Before he could finish, a loud, energetic wail echoed from outside the door:
"YOU RED-EYED FREAKS! IF YOU'VE GOT THE GUTS, JUST KILL ME ALREADY!"
"WHAT'S THE POINT OF TYING ME UP AND NOT FEEDING ME?!"
"AAAGHHH! IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS! THREE DAYS!"
"REN UCHIHA, YOU BASTARD, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA WAKE UP?! I'M FREAKIN' STARVING TO DEATH HERE!"