After that day,
I tried to live like nothing had happened.
Like everything was normal.Like none of it had ever existed.
But the truth was—
it never went away.
The way people looked at me,the quiet whispers in the hallways,even the feeling in my own chest—
everything was still there.
"Phat."
A voice called from behind me.
I paused for just a second, then kept walking as if I hadn't heard.
"Phoraphat."
This time it was clearer. Closer.
I stopped, but didn't turn around.
"What is it?"
My voice was flat, almost emotionless.
Kan walked up and stood in front of me.
"We need to talk."
"There's nothing to talk about."
I answered immediately.
"There is."
"There isn't."
I looked up at him.
My eyes steady, even though everything inside me was shaking.
"I don't want to waste my time."
I was about to walk past him, but he grabbed my wrist.
"Phat, just listen."
His grip wasn't rough, but firm enough to stop me.
"Let go."
"I won't."
I looked straight at him.
"You don't have the right to touch me."
That made him pause.
Then he slowly let go.
But his eyes never left me.
"It's not what you think."
"I'm not thinking anything."
I shot back immediately.
"What I saw was clear enough."
"That chat—"
"Enough."
I cut him off.
My voice started to tremble.
"I don't want to hear it."
Kan went quiet, like he was trying to find the right words.
But in the end, he only said,
"…You trust them more than me?"
I went silent for a moment.
Then answered—
"Yes."
Just one word.
But something in his eyes broke instantly.
After that,
Kan kept trying to approach me.
Every day.
Talking to me, asking things, even waiting.
But every time, I chose to ignore him.
As if he didn't exist.
"Phat, you'll be presenting this project," the teacher said during class.
"And let Kan help you. He's good at this."
I froze for a second before replying immediately,
"I can do it myself."
The teacher looked at me.
"But if you have someone helping—"
"It's fine."
My tone was polite, but firm.
"I don't want to bother anyone."
The word "anyone" was intentional.
I didn't look at him.
But I knew—
he was looking at me.
After school,
I stayed in the classroom alone, trying to finish my work.
Even though my mind wasn't taking anything in.
"You did this part wrong."
A voice came from beside me.
I froze, then turned.
Kan was standing next to my desk, pointing at my paper.
"The formula should be like this."
He continued, like nothing had happened.
I stared at him quietly.
Then pulled the paper back.
"I can do it myself."
"I never said you couldn't."
"Then don't get involved."
The room fell silent.
Kan looked at me.
"I'm just helping."
"I don't need it."
I answered immediately, leaving no space for him to say anything else.
His hand tightened slightly on the paper, then slowly released it.
"Okay."
He said softly.
"Then I won't interfere."
And he walked out.
The door closed quietly.
But the room became so silent I could hear my own heartbeat.
I sat still, staring at the paper.
But the image in my mind was his expression from a moment ago.
It wasn't like before.
Not teasing.Not confident.
But…
like someone who had just lost something.
I slowly closed my eyes.
Then shook my head.
"It doesn't matter…"
I muttered to myself.
Even though the weight in my chest kept growing.
And from that moment on,
no matter what he did,
I chose not to acknowledge it.
Even when he tried to help,
I still believed—
he was only doing it to tear me down.
Even though, in reality,
the one falling apart…
might not have been just me.