Finn's pov
I stoked the fire gently, the dancing flames reflecting in my eyes with a fierce glow. I inhaled deeply, taking in the strong scent of ash and burning pine.
I moved back over to sit next to Selina. Mine! Alexis growled possessively at the closeness between us. I reached for her hand, needing the anchor of her touch to keep the ghosts at bay. But the moment our skin met, she didn't ignite; she froze.
The rejection hit me harder than any silver whip Kaelin had ever used. Alexis whined at the withdrawal of her touch. Then she asked it. The question I'd spent twenty years trying to bury. "Where were you?"
I couldn't bare to lie to her. I'd sworn an oath long ago to protect the truth at all costs - I never expected it to cost me my mate. You can't tell her the truth. You can't lie either. We can't lose her not now. Alexis snarled, the prospect of losing what we had just found causing his anger to flare.
It was ironic. I was sent to kill her. I never expected that she would be my mate. In all honesty, I never even believed she would turn out to be who Kaelin said she was. The pull between the mate bond and sworn duty was a hard cross to bear. But Alexis was right. We couldn't lose her now. Not now we'd felt that spark, become addicted to her beautiful sweet scent of honey and wildflowers, despite it being soured with the sharp tang of betrayal.
Not after discovering that this cold, tired enforcer was actually capable of the one thing I had always told myself I never would be - Love. Pure, passionate, life or death love.
No, I wasn't going to lie. I froze slightly, putting up my own walls.
"I was doing my duty, Selina. I was a soldier. Soldiers don't always get to choose which side of the door they stand on," I told her.
Her suspicion weighed heavily on me, the scent of sage and ash choking me. Her scent of wildflowers and honey soured slightly with the doubt radiating from her.
I needed to get out.
Suddenly, I heard her stomach growl. I turned to look at her. I could smell it. Her need for fresh blood. It was the perfect excuse to escape. I needed some space to figure out how to navigate this.
Before she could argue, I stood. "You're hungry," I told her. "I'll see what I can find."
I grabbed my blades and my shirt, exiting quickly before she could react. I felt a pang of sadness through the mate bond, but that coldness, that doubt, it weighed even heavier than before.
I headed into the cold night rain. The wetness washed over me, refreshing my thoughts. I used it to centre myself - focusing on the heavy tapping of the rain on the ground, the slow drips from the trees. The scent of fresh rain and damp earth melding together. Then I sensed it, a rabbit about a mile away. I stalked, slowly, carefully, tuning myself to it's heartbeat.
My love was hungry and I was going to take her back my prey. My thoughts began to unravel themselves at the thought of my beautiful Selina.
I was there that night. I did have a blade. That much was true. But I couldn't possibly tell her the real reason. The truth of it. What really happened. I had sworn an oath to her. Sworn to keep her secret.
I am the monster she fears, but I am also the only thing that kept her mother's legacy from being wiped off the map. If she knew the truth of what I did in that room, she wouldn't just hate me - she'd never be able to look at her own reflection again. Telling her before she was ready to lead would break her - and then it would all be for nothing.
Alexis stirred at the scent of our prey. I began to shift, not fully but just enough. Claws elongating, Fangs exposed. At least a hunt was a way to work out some of this frustration.
I slowed as I focused on the pulse of my prey. As I closed in, I pounced, slicing through the rabbit's throat with my claws. It was large for a rabbit, perhaps I was mistaken and it was a hare. Whatever it was, my love would eat now.
Give her the heart. Don't just give it, offer it, an apology. It's all we can do. We can't tell her the truth but we can beg for forgiveness. Alexis insisted.
I slung the hare over my shoulder as I shifted back effortlessly, the blood dripping down my back like a dark baptism. I began to head back to the cave. I truly hoped she could accept my apology. My chest ached at the thought of her looking at me the way she did before I left - cold, doubtful, conflicted. If I could just get her to give me a chance, to prove myself to her.
Malakai was not helping this situation. I was sure he had been planting things in her head, little echos of half truths, feeding her doubts. But why?
I stood in the entrance to the cave, bloodied but victorious. Their gaze shifted to me as they shared an uncomfortable look. I could sense she had used her powers to try to press Elias for more information. I wasn't worried about that. He knew nothing. Far, far less than he probably thought he did. Using her powers well already filled me with a sense of awe, but also a sense of dread - she was already more powerful than they could ever had imagined and she had not even fully shifted yet.
I dropped the carcass by the fire. The metallic scent of blood filled the small space, mixing with the damp wool of our clothes. I knelt before her, my hands stained red - a permanent mark of who I was.
I carved the heart from the kill. It was still warm, steaming in the cold air. In the Old Ways, this wasn't just meat; it was a blood-covenant. My heart for yours. My life for yours.
I held it out to her, my eyes locking with hers. I didn't try to hide the blood on my skin. I didn't try to wipe it away.
"Eat," I whispered, the word sounding like a prayer.
She looked at the heart, then at my hands. I saw the revulsion war with the hunger in her grey eyes.
I saw the question burning in her mind: Are these the hands that killed my mother?
I didn't answer it. I just held the offering steady, waiting for her to decide if she could stomach a monster for a mate. I pleaded silently. "Take it and see that I am yours, heart and soul, even if I have to be the villain in your story to keep you safe."
For a terrible, agonizing second, she just stared at my blood-soaked hands. The fire crackled, casting long shadows against the cave walls, waiting. Then, her silver eyes met my gold, and she slowly reached out, her fingers ghosting over my blood-stained palm...