As my body gradually recovered, I returned to school. Even though they no longer sat beside me, I knew they were together, and that knowledge weighed heavily on my heart. For some reason, I began to feel an overwhelming urge to leave that school. I had never truly been interested in my studies there in the first place—I had stayed only because of him. Now, it all felt meaningless.
Without telling my parents, I went to see the school principal and submitted my withdrawal request. Just like that, I left on my own accord.
The next morning, when I didn't get ready for school, my mother noticed and asked what was going on. I bluntly replied, "I'm not going to that school anymore. I already submitted my withdrawal." Of course, I was scolded.
Life went on. Living in a ger district in the city meant daily chores—fetching water, carrying fuel, preparing meals. Winter passed, and spring arrived. This time, I found myself drawn back to my old dream of becoming a teacher. I took the entrance exam again and was accepted into a kindergarten teacher training school. I loved it there. Singing, dancing, drawing, playing instruments—it was everything I enjoyed, all in one place.
And yet, deep inside, I was still waiting for someone. I held onto a quiet hope that maybe Tushig would break up with Nomin and come back to me. I couldn't forget him. To ease the ache in my heart, I began drinking beer and smoking from time to time. I knew they were bad habits, yet I couldn't stop.
At my new school, I made friends—Delger and Anu. They tried to help me forget Tushig, offering all kinds of advice, but nothing worked. We were new university students, after all, so we started going out at night—dancing, partying, losing ourselves in the noise and lights. I knew I was becoming someone completely different from the Gerlee I used to be.
After classes, instead of heading to the library, I wandered through restaurants, pubs, and karaoke bars. I often didn't go home, worrying my mother endlessly. As for my father—he had gone off to work in the countryside, chasing better earnings in the mines, since both his children had become university students one after another.
One evening after class, feeling restless as usual, we went out drinking again and ended up in a nightclub. It was a Friday, so the place was crowded. For me, dancing was the only thing that truly felt good. Standing in the middle of the dance floor, eyes closed, moving in rhythm with the music—I lost myself completely.
Suddenly, a tall young man approached me.
"Hey, beautiful… you dance really well. Want to get to know each other?" he said.
I was surprised, but when I looked at him, he seemed warm and handsome. Hearing him call me "beautiful" made me strangely happy.
"Uh… sure," I replied.
"Are you here with friends? I'm sitting over there with mine. If your friends want, we can all sit together," he suggested.
"I'll go ask them," I said.
I went to my friends—Delger, Anu, and Zoloo—and they agreed. So we joined the group. The guys introduced themselves and ordered a beer for each of us. We chatted for a while.
The one who first spoke to me seemed to like my friend Delger. As for me, I talked with another guy, who also called me pretty. I realized then that while I liked hearing it, men often said such things lightly when flirting.
We stayed until the club closed. When we tried to leave, the guys wouldn't let us go easily. So we came up with a plan—when I said "Let's go," we would all scatter in different directions and meet later at a nearby spot.
As planned, I said, "Let's go," and ran off, hiding successfully. After a while, though, Zoloo shouted, "Guys! I got caught—come out!" And just like that, we all ended up together again.
Afraid we might escape again, the four guys each took one of us and walked us separately. The guy I was with didn't feel entirely trustworthy, yet talking to him felt strangely comfortable. Then he grabbed my phone and said he wouldn't give it back unless I gave him my number. With no other choice, I did.
Later, when they suggested we go to a hotel, we tricked them, piled into a taxi together, and managed to lose them. That night, we finally escaped.
After that incident, I never went out like that again. I had been genuinely frightened of strangers.
As for the guy who took my number—he started messaging me. Within just a few days, he went from calling me "love" to asking me to be his girlfriend. I blocked him immediately.
And from that experience, I understood something important: if you search for love in the wrong place, you may end up losing yourself on the wrong path.