If there was a list of the most ridiculous ways to die…
He had just claimed a top ranking.
It was an ordinary evening.
Painfully ordinary.
The kind of evening where nothing happens, nothing changes, and nothing matters.
The sky was clear.
The air was calm.
The world was… boring.
And he?
He was just another background character walking home.
Hands in his pockets.
Head slightly down.
Thoughts drifting aimlessly.
"…I should probably get my life together," he muttered.
A pause.
"…Nah. Tomorrow."
That was his philosophy.
Why suffer today when you can procrastinate until tomorrow?
A flawless strategy.
Truly.
He reached the roadside crossing.
Still no cars.
Still no people.
Even the streetlights flickered lazily, like they didn't care enough to function properly.
"…Did everyone just disappear or something?"
He glanced left.
Nothing.
He glanced right.
Nothing.
He stepped forward.
And then—
Reality broke.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!!!
The sound didn't just hit his ears.
It attacked his soul.
"…Huh?"
Slowly.
Very slowly.
He turned his head.
And there it was.
A truck.
But not just any truck.
No.
This was that truck.
The one that appears when your story is about to begin—
By ending.
It came out of nowhere.
No warning.
No logic.
No hesitation.
Just speed.
Impossible speed.
"…Oh, come on…"
His eye twitched.
"Seriously?"
Time slowed.
Because of course it did.
Everything always slows down when you're about to die.
The truck grew bigger.
Closer.
Louder.
Like fate itself had pressed the fast-forward button on his death.
His brain, instead of reacting like a normal human being, decided to go into full commentary mode.
Interesting… the velocity seems unrealistically high.
No visible driver reaction.
No braking.
Ah.
So this is how I die.
"…WAIT WAIT WAIT—!"
He tried to jump back.
Tried.
His foot caught the edge of the curb.
Balance vanished instantly.
His arms flailed like a malfunctioning windmill.
"…No no no no—!"
In that moment—
He realized something important.
He had lived a completely average life.
No achievements.
No legacy.
No girlfriend.
Not even a proper meal waiting for him at home.
"…This is so unfair…!"
The truck didn't care.
BOOOOOOOOM!!!
Darkness swallowed everything.
Silence.
Endless.
Absolute.
"…Huh."
He "opened" his awareness—though he wasn't sure he even had eyes anymore.
"…Am I dead?"
No pain.
No body.
No sound.
Just… existence.
Floating in nothingness.
"…Well… that was fast."
A pause.
"…I didn't even get to eat dinner."
Another pause.
"…Or do anything cool with my life."
Silence lingered.
Then—
"…I died to a truck."
He let that sink in.
"…Wow."
Time passed.
Or maybe it didn't.
There was no way to tell.
But just as he began accepting his fate—
Something changed.
A sound.
Faint.
Distant.
Like an echo from another world.
"…What's that?"
He focused.
The sound grew louder.
Deeper.
Heavier.
A vibration.
Like something enormous breathing.
A roar.
Low at first.
Almost like a whisper.
But filled with something terrifying.
Ancient.
Wrathful.
Alive.
"…That doesn't sound normal…"
The darkness trembled.
The roar came again.
Louder.
Closer.
More violent.
Like something was tearing through reality itself.
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!
His consciousness shook.
What the hell is that?!
The void cracked.
Light seeped in.
Heat followed.
Then—
Pain.
Breath rushed back into him like a flood.
"—HAAAH!!"
His eyes snapped open.
Smoke filled the air.
The smell of burning wood and blood choked his lungs.
Screams echoed from every direction.
The ground trembled violently beneath him.
"…W-What…?"
His voice—
Small.
High-pitched.
Wrong.
He blinked rapidly, trying to focus.
His vision cleared.
And then—
He saw it.
Through the shattered remains of a wall.
Through blazing flames and collapsing buildings.
A colossal figure stood beneath a blood-red sky.
Nine massive tails lashed through the air, each movement shaking the earth itself.
Its eyes glowed with pure hatred.
Its presence alone crushed everything around it.
"…No way…"
His lips trembled.
"…That's…"
Recognition hit instantly.
Not from this life—
But from the one he had lost.
"…The Nine-Tails…?"
Reality slammed into him harder than the truck ever did.
I died…
And got reincarnated…
…Into Naruto…
His breathing quickened.
His heart pounded wildly.
And not just anywhere…
Another explosion rocked the area.
A building collapsed in the distance.
Shinobi flashed across rooftops, shouting orders, launching jutsu, trying desperately to hold back the inevitable.
…I spawned in the WORST possible moment.
His gaze slowly dropped.
Tiny hands.
Small body.
Weak limbs.
Three years old.
Silence.
Then—
"…You've got to be kidding me."
He looked back at the giant fox of destruction.
Then at the chaos around him.
Then back at himself.
A long pause.
"…Truck-kun…"
His tiny fist clenched.
"…You didn't just send me to another world…"
Another explosion lit up the sky.
The Nine-Tails roared again, louder than before.
"…You dropped me straight into a boss fight."
A beat.
Then—
"…At level one."
Far above—
The Nine-Tails roared once more.
And this time—
It felt like the world itself was laughing at him.
And just like that—
His second life began.
In fire.
In chaos.
In absolute, undeniable absurdity.
"…I swear…"
He whispered, eyes trembling yet determined.
"…If I survive this…"
A pause.
Then—
"…I'm never crossing a road again."