Only a couple of hours had passed since the dwarf disaster. Now, finally, he was resting. Honestly? It had been the single most unhinged day of his entire life. He couldn't fully remember why, but every bone in his body agreed.
Froggy: Ah… I really, really need some pants.
He lay sprawled in his improvised bed — a hole carved just wide enough to fit him, barely. Nearby, he'd dug out a second hollow for food storage. He was already mentally drafting plans for a homemade oven. Maybe channel some lava into it…
Tomorrow's problem. Right now, the only thing on the agenda was sleep. It had been a long day — an absurdly, cosmically long day — and his brain hadn't even begun to process it. He shut his eyes.
Froggy: I feel nature… I feel peace…
He breathed in deep.
Froggy: …It's so hot. This place desperately needs ventilation.
And slowly, mercifully, sleep dragged him under. He dreamed of an open field. He was wearing pants. The whole hellish ordeal was over. There was even a figure in the distance — a woman, watching him. He didn't recognize her, but that blonde hair… he'd seen it somewhere before. He walked toward her.
Froggy: Hey there. How's it going?
The woman looked at him, amused.
???: SHHH. SHHH. SHHH.
Froggy: What? I have no idea what you're saying.
She looked down. He followed her gaze.
The ground was lava.
Froggy: …Huh?
He snapped awake.
Froggy: What a nightmare — me, in another world. Ha!
His nightmare was his reality.
Something shuffled nearby. A murmur, like small footsteps moving through his shelter. He was on his feet instantly, knife out, scanning both sides of the cave.
And there it was: a tiny lizard, crawling lazily along the wall.
[SYSTEM NOTICE]
"New enemy detected."
Baby Lava Lizard.
Level: 15
Traits: [Locked]
Froggy: …Well. That's almost insulting.
First time since arriving that something actually looked beatable. It was like a miniature dragon — little flaming tail and everything. Reminded him of some show he used to watch… how long ago was that, exactly?
Didn't matter. That lizard was dinner. Actual food wasn't happening any other way — this world had made that abundantly clear. He tightened his grip on the knife and crept forward. The blade immediately started glowing.
He lunged. Missed. Lunged again. Missed again.
Froggy: I've got you now —
The lizard slipped right between his fingers.
Froggy: Don't move. Stay still. Stay — NOW —
He caught it. For about half a second.
It bit him.
Froggy: AHHH! IT BURNS —
[ALERT: HEALTH DROPPING]
80.5… 78… 64…
The lizard crawled leisurely from his hand up his leg, leaving a scorched trail behind it, then disappeared into the dark. Froggy sat on the ground, singed and defeated.
Froggy: …Even a lizard.
He checked the surrounding area. No second lizard. But there were footprints — fresh ones. Someone had been here while he slept. The dwarf, probably. And the tracks kept going. Plural sets of tracks.
They'd brought friends.
Staying any longer was a bad idea. He'd have to leave the shelter behind. He turned and looked at it one last time, genuinely moved.
Froggy: After everything we've been through together… I have to leave you.
Silence.
Froggy: Don't give me that. I know you want me to stay. But those dwarves are coming, and I — I just can't put you through that.
Silence.
Froggy: Please. Don't make this harder than it already is.
[SYSTEM NOTICE]
"Talking to yourself is unhealthy. Finding friends is strongly advised."
Froggy: Oh, that's rich. And who, exactly, would you like me to befriend?
The system said nothing.
He walked to the water's edge and peered at his reflection in the murky surface. The image rippled — brown hair and a face straight out of a dream.
Froggy: This world is completely broken. It doesn't do me justice at all. Be honest with me, system — still handsome?
His voice had taken on a theatrical quality, like a man performing to an empty auditorium.
[EVALUATING BEAUTY]
"Initializing… initializing…"
Froggy: You're taking suspiciously long.
[EVALUATION COMPLETE]
"Beauty rating: 1/10."
"Global average: 7/10."
"Ugliest known species on record: 3/10."
[CONCLUSION]
"Beauty classification: 'From another world.'"
Froggy: From another world because I'm ugly?
"Correct."
Froggy: Fantastic. Truly the complete package.
He slumped against the wall.
Froggy: I'm losing my mind.
[System Recommendation]
"Eating something soon is strongly advised."
Froggy: And what exactly do you suggest I eat?
The system vibrated.
[NEW MISSION ASSIGNED]
"Defeat Magma Titan."
Reward: Titanic-class SR Food.
Froggy: Oh, so you CAN be useful. Except — and I need you to hear this — I will get absolutely fried alive.
The system vibrated again. And again. Froggy ignored it. It got worse.
Froggy: ALRIGHT. Fine. I'm not doing it.
[System — Advice]
"Victory is relative."
Froggy: …What?
"And relativity is victory."
He stared at the notification for a long moment.
Froggy: That doesn't mean anything.
"Interpretation may vary."
Froggy buried his face in his hands.
Froggy: I am going to destroy you someday. I genuinely mean that.
Something echoed in the distance.
Froggy: Oh, back for round two, lizard?
Not a lizard. A group of dwarves — armed, torchlit, and absolutely furious. One of them, the one he recognized, was pointing straight at him with an expression of pure terror and barely contained rage.
Froggy: H… hi?
The dwarves advanced. One carried an axe roughly twice Froggy's height. Their energy was that of people who had been personally wronged in a deeply unforgivable way.
Froggy: AHHH — I'm friendly! I come in peace! BROTHERS —
The dwarves were not interested in brotherhood.
He burst out onto the surface. The magma mountains loomed exactly where he'd left them. He glanced back — the dwarves were already scaling the rocks toward him.
Froggy: I can still —
His knife began to glow.
The titans turned.