Severus hated himself. He hated himself as he tried to sleep and tossed and turned in his bed. He hated himself as he took his Sleeping Draught, and he hated himself as he finally fell asleep and dreamt of seeing Lily's lifeless body lying on the cold floor of the Potter house.
He hated himself when he woke up a few hours later and that image overlapped with the boy lying in a pool of blood on the tarmac. He shouldn't have compared the two things. They were different. Completely different.
He hated himself even more as he found himself formulating a thought that had always been positive until that moment. What if she had loved him back? What if they had been happy, in love and even built a life together? It was a fantasy he rarely indulged in, because it was both beautiful and extremely painful at the same time. But it had been the same for years. In his mind, she had loved him and they had been happy.
Now, for the first time, that thought had changed. What if she had loved him and they hadn't been happy at all? What if he had experienced the joy only reciprocated love can bring, only to lose her afterwards?
Severus hated himself as he got out of bed, tired, exhausted and more devastated than he had been in a long time. He passed Omegas' bed and didn't look at her. He walked to his office, hoping with all his might not to meet anyone on the way; at least that went right. Everything else went wrong that day.
It was just half past seven when Omegas, more rested than ever, walked through the door of his office. Severus didn't look at her.
"Good morning," she greeted cheerfully.
He didn't answer. She walked over to the desk and stood beside him. She waited a moment, and Severus knew without turning that she was studying him closely.
"Nothing to say?" she asked.
Panic. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt such panic—and he had managed to stand before the greatest Dark Wizard of all time, solemn and unreadable, and lie to him without the slightest hesitation. He barely managed to hide it, raised his head and forced himself to appear composed. But he still didn't look at her. He raised an eyebrow, hoping that his forced sardonic expression would be convincing enough.
"What am I supposed to say?"
She raised an eyebrow in turn and pointed to the clock above his head. "I'm up before eight!"
He followed her finger to the clock. He stared at it for a moment, then leaned back over his desk.
"Congratulations."
Omegas circled the table, lowering her head to meet his gaze, and sat down on the edge of the desk.
"Hm… no," she said softly.
He gave her a single, fleeting look of confusion. "No?"
"No," she repeated. "You were supposed to say something like, 'Should I congratulate you on managing to get up at a reasonable hour?'" she mimicked him. "To which I should have replied, 'Yes, you definitely should,' and at that point you would have given me one of your usual death glares."
Severus said nothing. Without looking at her, he could sense her expression change from amused to puzzled.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked.
"Nothing," he replied.
"Yeah, sure," she scoffed. "Don't lie to me."
"I am not lying," he declared, and finally looked at her.
He held her gaze for a long moment. He'd almost forgotten how intense those eyes were; the last dozen times he'd seen them, they hadn't looked at him.
He had the feeling she was reading something. He knew it wasn't his mind—no one would ever be able to read his mind—but he wasn't entirely sure she needed to. He looked away again and hurried around the desk.
"We have to go," he said coldly.
"Can we at least have breakfast first?"
Too late. Severus had already left the office.
They reached the High Table in the Great Hall. He waited for Omegas to join the meeting and take a seat next to Tonks before he made his way around and sat down at the opposite end. She gave him a questioning look that forced him to avert his gaze.
"Welcome," said Professor McGonagall.
Severus was glad to have something else to focus on.
"Mr Potter has some matters to discuss with us this morning."
She gave the boy a quiet nod. Harry stood up, cleared his throat and settled in his spot uncomfortably. He glanced at Severus, but he immediately turned away. The last thing he needed at the moment was to be forced to look into those green eyes too. Harry kept searching for approval, and met briefly Omegas' gaze. She seemed surprised, hesitated, but finally nodded at him encouragingly.
He spoke. He told the Order everything he had kept hidden until that moment. He told them about the Horcruxes, Nagini, the Deathly Hallows and the shifts at the Department of Mysteries. When he finished, practically everyone in the meeting, except Severus, Omegas, Ginny, Draco, Ron and Hermione, were staring at him wide-eyed.
"Harry…" murmured Tonks. "Why… why didn't you tell us?"
He shook his head and seemed to swallow a sob. "Because I didn't think I could."
There was a long, astonished pause.
"Very well," Professor McGonagall said briskly. "We'd better get organised, then."
One by one, the members of the Order of the Phoenix put their ideas on the table and discussed the course of action. They all seemed to agree that reconnaissance trips to the Department of Mysteries were necessary before embarking on a hypothetical mission to capture a snake they weren't even sure was there.
The problem with the plan, was that since Voldemort had taken over the Ministry, every single person at that table was one of the most wanted people in the Wizarding World, and none of them would be able to cross its threshold of the Ministry of Magic without being arrested, tortured or, more likely, killed.
"Polyjuice Potion?" suggested Ron.
"No, it only lasts an hour. That wouldn't be enough," replied Lupin.
"Three," interjected Omegas.
They turned to look at her. She shifted in her seat and met their eyes in turn.
"Three hours, if you pulverise the Bicorn Horn Powder properly and add the Moonstone at the right time," she clarified. "But it takes too long to prepare, and three hours still wouldn't be enough. And who would we turn into?"
"We have the three Death Eaters in custody, don't we?" observed Draco.
Hermione shook her head. "No. They know we captured them. It would be strange if they suddenly reappeared and started asking for guard duty at the Department of Mysteries."
The others agreed.
A long, pensive silence fell, and stretched long enough to become resigned. Then, Omegas spoke softly again.
"I could go."
All eyes around the table darted to her. She tried to return them, but lowered her head in embarrassment instead and cleared her throat.
"No Death Eater has ever seen my face," she murmured. "Well… almost no Death Eater. But those who had, they can't speak of it." She chuckled softly.
Some, around the table, gave her puzzled looks; some other laughed along with her. Harry stared at her with a mixture of respect and judgement.
"I can get into the Department of Mysteries unnoticed and confuse the guards just enough to take a look around," she added. "I'll try to find out what they're guarding, how hard can that be?"
There was another pause, then some of the members began whispering to each other. Severus, for his part, kept his eyes fixed on her resolute expression and his lips parted.
It wasn't a bad idea; in fact, it was quite a good idea. But something inside him stirred. He didn't like it. A thousand things could go wrong. She would have to infiltrate among who knew how many Death Eaters. And what if the Confundus Charm didn't work properly? And what if someone, by chance, recognised her as the woman who, with two wands in her hands, had ridden a broomstick and cast a barrage of spells at them? It was risky, it was dangerous, it was…
Worrying. Severus was worried. He pushed the thought into a dark corner of his mind, locked it in a cupboard and padlocked the cupboard.
"Very well…" said Professor McGonagall, her tone betraying a hint of concern. "If that is your will—"
"I'll go too," declared Tonks.
She had risen from her chair, her fists clenched and her gaze determined.
"I can change my appearance. The Death Eaters don't know I'm a Metamorphmagus, I can go with Omegas and help her—"
"Absolutely not," Lupin interrupted. He got up in turn and shot her a sharp look. "Dora, you can't—"
"I'm going, Remus," she snapped. "I'm a member of the Order of the Phoenix, just like you, and I want to do my part. You can't tell me what I can and can't do!"
He fell silent. He was so astonished by her reaction that all he could do was stare and try to mumble words that wouldn't come out. He closed his mouth and glanced awkwardly at the other participant. Finally, he blushed slightly and sat back down on his chair. Tonks turned to Omegas, who raised her head and gave her a proud smile.
"Good," said Professor McGonagall. "Then we'd better start organising the first reconnaissance."
The meeting continued for a couple of hours, and ended with the members agreeing that the two women would go on their first expedition to the Ministry the following week; or rather, almost everyone agreed. Lupin made sure not to look at anyone at the table until the meeting was over. When it was, he was the last to leave, waiting for his wife to join him.
Severus heard them arguing while walking briskly towards his office.
"Dora, please. Think about Teddy. Think about—"
"Don't use Teddy against me, Remus! We're fighting this war for him, too. Do you think I don't think about him?"
He hurried past them. That something, hidden in the padlocked cupboard, was stirring frantically in the dark corner of his mind, and the look of pure panic on Lupin's face did nothing to help.
Halfway there, he saw Omegas standing in front of his office door, pausing in the middle of the empty corridor. She turned towards him and stood still, at a distance. Severus couldn't bring himself to approach. It was only after a few moments of static reflection that he realised he was afraid. He was afraid to see those purple eyes darting across his face.
Over the past seventeen years, he had managed to skilfully hide practically every thought and emotion that had crossed his mind: resentment, anger, despair, horror, guilt. But he wasn't sure if he could hide the feeling his face longed to betray every time he looked at those purple eyes.
Empathy. Severus knew how she felt. 'I did it'. How many times had he repeated those three words to himself? 'I did it'. No, he wouldn't be able to pretend that he hadn't seen what he had seen, and even if he could, it would take too much effort. Too much pain.
He never knew how, but that woman, so far away and yet so close, sensed something. She turned without a word and walked briskly to the other end of the corridor; not waiting for him, not asking for explanations. He sighed and approached the door to his office determined to spend the rest of his day alone, in silence.
But it wasn't possible. He opened the door and the first thing he saw was Harry Potter standing in front of his desk. He rolled his eyes and mentally listed a series of curses he had to refrain from saying out loud.
"What is it, Potter?"
"Sir," Harry greeted him.
Severus closed the door behind him and walked around the table, waiting in silence for the other to speak.
He didn't. He remained silent, looking at him with those damned green eyes, waiting for permission.
"Speak," he said impatiently.
"Sir…" the boy murmured. "I was wondering if you could tell me about that woman."
"What woman?"
He knew exactly which woman he was referring to, as she occupied most of his thoughts, but he didn't want him to know.
"Omegas, sir."
"What do you want to know?" he asked, just a touch irritated.
Harry opened his mouth, but seemed to reconsider. He stared at the Professor for a long moment.
"Who… who is she?" he finally asked.
Severus took a moment to answer. In all honesty, he was not sure he knew what to say. He gave Harry a cold stare, trying to convey he would have preferred not to be asked that question, or better still, no question at all. Then, he averted his gaze and made up his mind.
"She's a soldier. She worked for Dumbledore."
The information should have been enough for the boy to trust her, Severus thought, but for some reason it wasn't.
"Did Dumbledore trust her?" Harry insisted.
'No' would have been the correct answer. He had never really trusted her. Severus thought about being honest; then remembered that Dumbledore was dead and couldn't disagree.
"Yes."
Harry didn't seem convinced. He pursed his lips and looked away, pensive.
"Are you questioning the members of the Order of the Phoenix whom Dumbledore chose to trust, Potter?" he asked quietly. "Didn't the last time teach you a lesson?"
Harry paled visibly.
The implication behind that insinuation would be enough to end the matter, Severus knew. He smirked faintly and watched as the boy struggled to hold his gaze.
Finally, Harry nodded, turned sharply and walked to the door. He opened it, but stopped just before crossing it and glanced over his shoulder.
"Do you trust her, sir?" he asked.
Severus raised his head. His mouth opened before he had time to think about his reply.
"Yes."
Harry nodded again, and this time he finally left him in peace.
'Peace', he found himself thinking a few hours later, was not the most accurate description of his state of mind. He had often found himself sitting quietly in the dark, locked in his office, doing nothing but brooding over his thoughts, but never like this. He couldn't control his mind—a mind over which he had exercised rigid control for years.
There were certain times, specific times, during which he allowed himself to hate himself, to give himself over to remorse, to resentment, to regret. All the rest of the time, Severus did not allow it; he had to learn to do that, otherwise he would have given in to despair for the rest of his life. It was his way of being resilient. And yet there he was, sitting still in a chair, thinking about the same three words for hours on end.
"I did it."
By midday, Severus couldn't stand it any longer. He needed to get out, fill his head with something else, hear words that weren't those three. He went out and made his way to the Great Hall, hoping to find something to distract him from Omegas. He had no luck: as he walked through the doors of the hall, hers was the very first face his eyes fell upon.
She was sitting at the Slytherin table, with Tonks in front of her, listening absently as she had done dozens of times before. Severus knew that look. Those were the same eyes that had watched passively as Jay sat at the other end of a laden table. It was there that she used to get lost as she listened to her friend. Rarely in his life had Severus hated knowing something everyone else ignored so much.
Omegas lifted her vacant gaze to him and smiled. It was a sincere smile, the smile of one who's genuinely happy to see someone. Tonks turned, looked at him and waved for him to join them. He was trapped: to refuse was to admit that there was something wrong. That woman was clever, she would understand. She would figure out that he knew. Only then did he fully realise how much that prospect terrified him.
He walked with measured steps to the Slytherin table, forcing his face to stay completely blank, and sat down next to Tonks.
"So I told him he can't use Teddy against me, you know?" she was saying, mouth half full. "I mean, of course I'm worried about him. And I don't like him being forced to stay with my mum, but it's not fair for me to just stay here while he's off fighting Death Eaters or who knows what else in the forest. I've never told him he can't do something because we have a son. Never. Does he think I don't miss him? That I don't think about him day and night? Oh, hi, Severus."
Severus gave her a weak nod. He still wasn't used to her addressing him in such friendly terms.
"Anyway, to be honest, I'm pretty excited about going on a mission, aren't you? I mean, it will be one of my first real missions. Apart from the time we did that thing with the seven Harrys."
Omegas woke up from her passive silence. "The seven Harrys?"
Tonks nodded as she swallowed a large mouthful of roast potatoes. "Mhm. Didn't I tell you?"
Omegas shook her head.
"Oh, it was mental," Tonks said. "We all took the Polyjuice Potion and turned into Harry. He had to leave his aunt and uncle's house. We knew the Death Eaters would try to get him, so we turned to confuse them. So they wouldn't know which was the real one."
Omegas seemed impressed. "Did it work?"
"Yes! Well… not quite," she said. "Old Mad-Eye didn't make it."
"Your mentor?" Omegas asked.
The lack of tact in her tone was completely out of place, but Tonks didn't seem to notice, or at least didn't seem to care.
"Him," she smiled weakly. "Old madman. They'll never make another one like him."
Omegas smiled.
There was a short silence; a particularly odd one, since silence and the presence of Nymphadora Tonks were two things that generally did not coexist.
"It was a good idea," said Omegas softly.
"Hm?"
"The seven Harrys," she clarified. "Not bad. Was it Mad-Eye's?"
"No," Tonks chuckled. "It was Mundungus Fletcher's. Unbelievable… the only good idea that man ever had."
Severus pulled an irritated grimace, which Omegas did not fail to notice.
"Who's Mundungus Fletcher?" she asked.
"Oh, he's a—"
"He's an idiot," Severus cut her off.
The two women turned to look at him.
"Yeah, that's what I was going to say," Tonks confirmed. "An absolute idiot. A petty thief who survives by selling stolen cauldrons and such."
Omegas frowned. "And he's part of the Order?"
"He was part of the Order," Tonks corrected. "He quit. He's too much of a coward to fight You-Know-Who."
"Hm…" she replied, now with a displeased grimace. "Will you stop calling him that?"
"Look, there's a taboo on his name. It's wiser not to say it."
"We're inside an Enagisis Charm, Tonks," Omegas countered.
"I know that. But what if I get used to calling him you-know-what and then accidentally do it outside?"
"Then call him Riddle," she suggested.
Tonks lost her smile. She raised her eyes on her and paled slightly.
Omegas smirked. "Come on," she whispered. "Call him Riddle."
Tonks shifted on her spot and cleared her throat. She lowered her eyes to her plate and toyed for a moment with her food; then she raised it again and met her eyes with a newfound determination.
"Riddle," she mumbled.
Omegas chuckled. "Excuse me?" she said, leaning an ear towards her.
"Riddle!" Tonks exclaimed.
A few people around the Great Hall stopped eating and turned to her. Tonks returned each of their looks defiantly.
Omegas smirked again. "Good girl."
Tonks laughed softly and shook her head. "You know what? You kind of are a Slytherin."
They looked at each other for a moment, both clearly amused. Then Omegas' eyes lingered on the entrance to the Great Hall.
"I believe there's someone for you," she noted.
Tonks turned. Standing before the door was Lupin, tense and paler than usual. She stood up and threw her napkin on the table.
"Excuse me," she said firmly. "I need to have another chat."
She strode towards her husband, with the clear intention of giving him a piece of her mind.
Omegas leaned on the back of her chair and chuckled softly. She seemed more amused than Severus had ever seen her, except perhaps after her fall from the broom. He narrowed his eyes and studied her carefully.
"Do you enjoy watching them fight?" he asked quietly.
"A little, yes," she replied.
He was surprised. She didn't strike him as someone who enjoyed other people's drama. He turned to look at Lupin, who was now trying to convince his wife not to make a scene in front of all the guests in the Great Hall. To see him in such distress, he had to admit, gave him a certain sadistic pleasure.
"YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!" Tonks shouted, as her husband begged for her to lower her voice.
Omegas laughed and Severus, too absorbed to control his actions, turned to give her a half-smile.
It was only when he met her eyes that he remembered why, in the past few hours, he had felt as if the desire to smile had left him forever, if he had ever had it. He grew serious again. She seemed to notice, but also seemed determined to ignore it. They both looked away and went back to eating.
"What was that face?" she asked after a while.
"Nothing," he replied.
"Not the one that you just made," she clarified. "The one you made earlier when we were talking about the seven Harrys. The one you make when you need to call someone an idiot, but try not to."
Severus took a moment to remember the conversation they were having about Mundungus Fletcher. He wrinkled his nose.
"Exactly, that face," she said.
He met her eyes again, and realised how easily she could read his face. He felt naked.
"It wasn't Fletcher who came up with the idea of the seven Potters," he explained. "It was me. I couldn't tell the Order directly because they had to think I was with Voldemort. I had to use that idiot."
"Ah," she said, chuckling again. "Well, it was a good idea."
"I know."
They fell silent. She smiled again, and everything suddenly felt oddly comfortable. That conversation had been so natural, so familiar, that Severus didn't feel the need to avoid her gaze anymore. He called himself an idiot for thinking he would. He had managed to meet Voldemort's gaze. What could a pair of violet eyes do to him?
"Can I go back to the office?" she asked softly. "My cauldron is there and I need to finish the Wolfsbane Potion. Lupin seems angry enough to eat us all alive if he doesn't take it within the week."
Severus lowered his head to avoid giving her the second half-smile of the day.
"I've finished it," he said.
"Oh, good," she replied.
"Anyway, you can," he added.
She looked at him and gave him one of her most genuine smiles.
When they returned to the office, Omegas carefully placed her bag on the desk. Severus glanced at it for a moment, then quickly looked away. Fortunately, she didn't notice, as she was too busy pulling out a cauldron and a number of ingredients. He frowned; the pantry was already full.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Today's meeting reminded me that I ran out of all my Polyjuice Potion supplies in Norway a few months ago. It's better never to be without."
He watched her arrange the Shredded Boomslang Skin in front of the cauldron in her usual obsessive manner: perfectly aligned with the rest of the ingredients. He decided to imitate her, turned and started tinkering with the cauldron and various jars himself.
"What were you doing in Norway?"
She smiled. "Oh, that's a fascinating story, really," she replied. "But I'll tell you later. It deserves your full attention. It has to do with legends of ghost ships and cursed necklaces."
"I'm perfectly capable of preparing a Polyjuice Potion while directing my attention elsewhere," he objected.
She turned to him slowly and raised an eyebrow. "Are you now?"
"Yes, I am."
She moved her gaze up and down his face, grinning. "Let's see then."
She waved her wand and Severus' cauldron and ingredients disappeared.
He frowned. "What have you done?"
"What do you think I did?"
Severus gave her a cold look. "How can I work without my ingredients?"
"They're still there," she replied.
"Excuse me?"
Omegas placed a hand where a jar of Bicorn Horns had been. She uncorked it, but Severus only noticed because he heard a faint pop. She picked up something invisible and began chopping it on her side of the desk.
He narrowed his eyes. "You've disillusioned my ingredients?"
"Not exactly," she explained. "They're not invisible. You're just incapable of paying attention to them."
Severus watched as she poured some powder he couldn't see into a cauldron he absolutely couldn't perceive. Then he understood.
"This is it, isn't it?" he murmured.
"This is what?" she asked, feigning ignorance.
"The spell you cast on the door of the Shrieking Shack."
The mischievous smile on her face widened.
"That door has been there all the time," he pressed.
"Yes," she confirmed. "Do you like it? I invented it in my sixth year. There was a boy who paid me a little too much attention.[1]"
Severus had a vision of the teenage Omegas passionately kissing a red-haired boy. He was forced to look away again.
"Go ahead, then," she challenged. "Show me how you can make a Polyjuice Potion without paying attention."
He stared at her. The cheeky grin on her face gave him the sudden urge to take up the challenge.
"Only if you tell the story of the ghost ship."
"Deal," she nodded.
It was one of the most enjoyable afternoons of his life. At first it was difficult to work out which ingredients to chop, which to slice and which to add to his cauldron. Then Severus fell into the routine and everything became easy again, even easier than usual. As he continued with the preparation, Omegas seemed increasingly impressed, and though he was careful not to show it, he was quite pleased.
The story of ghost ships and cursed necklaces was indeed worthy of his full attention, and so full of interesting anecdotes that Omegas talked for hours. The afternoon passed so quickly that when she pointed to the clock behind her and gave him the usual vague "Hungry?", Severus was very surprised to see the clock reading half past seven in the evening.
In truth, he wasn't hungry, but he lied, gave her a quiet nod, and began to put away his ingredients, now visible again. While putting away his cauldron, however, his attention was drawn to something else. At the other end of the table, the two fake galleons, his and the one Omegas had left there, had taken on a reddish hue. Severus reached out and picked one up: it was warm. She followed his gaze and reached her own.
"Well, it had to happen sooner or later," she sighed.
She brushed a finger against the small numbers that had appeared on the smooth surface of the coin.
"Eight thirty. Just enough time to get something to eat."
Severus nodded again, this time with a trace of annoyance.
They walked to the Great Hall and ate in what seemed like the blink of an eye. Then, reluctantly, they made their way to the castle grounds.
The shield, since it had been moved to the borders of Hogwarts, ended at the edge of the forest and barely included the gamekeeper's hut. For some reason, which at that point could not have been coincidental, the less talkative guards were almost always assigned to the back of the castle. Severus was immensely grateful for it. It meant avoiding most of the people he didn't want to meet; it meant being able to stand in silence while on guard. Besides, people there tended to mind their own business. They barely noticed any Patronus that wasn't their own.
Omegas was no different. She, too, spent most of her time there on guard duty, and generally didn't look at or speak to anyone present, including him. Severus had the feeling that, as much as it was clear that she liked to talk in private, she hated to show those around her that she could indulge in something as frivolous as chatting.
Severus lifted his eyes to the shield. Dozens of silver trails moved fluidly across the entire golden surface of the dome. Some of the Patronuses were incorporeal, dimly lit, floating in the air like faint silver flames. Others were bright, clearly visible, a series of floating animals that pirouetted around the shield for a while, then disappeared, only to reappear a moment later from the tip of a wand.
He recognised Cho Chang's swan: it was one of the most beautiful Patronuses he had ever seen. He watched it, completely expressionless, without giving the slightest hint that he had even noticed it. He raised his wand, ready to cast his spell, but just as he opened his mouth to speak, he heard Omegas' voice behind him.
"Expecto Patronum," she said softly.
A silver hedgehog darted from the tip of her wand, its pointed nose and quills standing upright on its back. It moved its tiny paws until it reached the edge of the golden shield and began to curl up against the invisible wall. Severus looked at her; she was smiling. He lingered on those curved lips for a long time. How could she smile?
Suddenly, all the thoughts he had managed to keep at bay that afternoon flooded back into his mind. 'I did it', he heard, over and over again. Was that what she was thinking right now? It had to be. Or maybe it was that memory, the one of the two of them lying side by side, looking at the starry sky. Her happiest memory. He let his gaze drift from the woman to the silver hedgehog above her.
"It looks a bit like you," he heard her say.
He heard her laugh. A pure, innocent laugh, a laugh he had never heard from her except in that memory. Yes, she must have hated the shifts on the shield as much as he did. He wondered if on her worst nights, the ones when she refused to take the Sleeping Draught, she too had watched her Patronus pirouette across the room. Perhaps she had hated herself as much as he had as he watched the silver doe pause before him and gracefully lower her head.
Severus lost control of his face. A face that for years had always been colourless in the presence of anyone, was suddenly conveying everything that had tormented him over the past few hours. Anger, pain, remorse and stupid, bloody empathy. He lowered his head and took a moment to find his impassivity, before raising it again.
But it was too late. As he looked up at Omegas, he found himself staring into a pair of violet eyes glaring with horror in the darkness of the park. She parted her lips, frozen on the spot. She looked at her hedgehog, then at her bag, then back at him. Shock gave way to sheer hatred.
She approached him with such dangerously slow steps that he felt the urge to retreat; he suppressed it and forced himself to meet that furious gaze.
"What have you done?"
That didn't sound like a question at all. It sounded like the low growl of a dog ready to bite.
Severus stepped back and swallowed audibly.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" she shouted.
It was the first time he saw her lose her seemingly unshakable calm.
He didn't answer, but there was no need. Omegas clutched her bag; without a glance or a word, she went to finish her shift at the other end of the back of the castle.
Severus waited for her that night. He didn't know exactly what he was going to say to her, but he needed to talk to her. He needed her to yell at him, he needed her to prove that she hated him as much as he hated himself. He waited for her in his quarters, a glass in his hand and another on the low table between the two armchairs, but she didn't come.
She didn't come that night, or the night after that, or the night after that, until that glass began to gather dust.
[1] Omegas absolutely did use the Neglectus Charm to ghost people in her teenage years. Literally. She has commitment issues (for now).