I lied on my back, bleeding to death.
I wasn't going to survive for much longer.
Within ten seconds, my vision started to fade already. Last thing I remember seeing was the world was tilting.
Another five seconds or so, I was doing everything I could to stay awake, but I was fighting a losing battle.
After that, time had become a blur. There was a brief moment I felt I was coming around and my body felt as light as a feather, then came a crushing sense of heaviness as if I had become the slab stone back in my office.
I wouldn't even get to go to that place anymore, I thought.
"Jonas."
Then there was the voice. The voice that I could never forget. The voice that I could hear from a world away. And this voice was speaking to me in my final moment, echoing in my head.
"Mary."
I heard her sigh. I couldn't see her. I wished I could open my eyes and see her one last time - if this was really going to be the end.
I took a gamble - a gamble with my everything on the line.
"You broke your promise."
But there, there was a hope. I should have died already at this point, but I was sustained, held back from vanishing. I was allowed to speak, one last time.
"I'm terribly sorry."
"You promised me that you will live."
Her voice carried no anger. There was only infinite sadness. It broke my heart.
"I did."
"You promised that you will find something to live for."
"But Mary-"
And this could be my last words.
"I found something to die for."
There was a sigh. Mary's breath. I could feel it. I could feel it travel from afar like a wind across the ocean, carrying life. This wind had a color. It was golden. It then found my lips, caressing, gently, then parting - entering.
I felt the warmth spread through my body. My mind was becoming clearer, and now I was standing. I was standing by the river, watching the sunset, glitters on the water rising into the air. I looked to my side, expecting, hoping, praying.
And there she stood. Mary.
I could not see her face. She wouldn't let me.
I have sinned, yet she graced me this chance.
"Isn't it beautiful?" She asked.
"It is."
She then looked at the river. It stopped flowing. The glitters that were rising, they stopped - held still mid-air. The sun in the sky slowly started to darken. Night was seeping through the fabric of suspended daylight.
"I'm fading, Jonas."
I didn't understand what she meant by it, but I felt it. And end was coming - not for me, but for her, and this very world where we roamed.
"I may not be able to do this many more times."
The graveness of what I had done weighed heavily in my heart.
I made Mary suffer.
Unforgivable.
"But I'm proud of you."
Unexpectedly, she placed her hand on my head, and ruffled my hair.
"I will do this for you this one time. I know what you've been through. I've heard what you've heard. I've seen what you've seen," and then she leaned in and whispered into my ear, "and I know what you want."
With that, she grabbed and crushed my throat.
Everything - everything became blindingly bright.
"Sir!"
When the night faded, there was Peter and Jude. Standing on each side of where I lay. The cold surface, which I was very familiar with, was reassuringly solid.
I was back in my sanctuary.
"Help me up."
The two faithful did as I ordered, as always - I was grateful.
As I sat up on my office desk, I realized I was still holding onto my knife from earlier.
Mary, you are so thoughtful.
Once I slid off the slab, the eyes of Jude and Peter told me everything I wanted to know. They couldn't avert their gaze from what lay at the foot of the desk.
"This one's called Jacie."
I introduced her to them.
"Sir… is… she…?" Jude mumbled.
"Yes, but she's not staying here."
"Good decision, sir," Peter said, happy at my promise.
"Bring everyone here," I ordered.
"Yes, sir!" Jude was first to respond, and by the time I turned to look at him, he was already running. Headless Jude always ran faster than Peter. Not that heads had anything to do with running.
As I was waiting for others to come, I started to get prepared. I first dug out the soil and pebbles I stuffed into Jacie's mouth with my fingers. Then I wiped the dried blood, tears, and snot off her face. It would probably get messy again, but I wanted to start working with a clean surface.
My disciples arrived not too long later, and they were all invariably fascinated by the new member I brought to the sanctuary, but Peter quickly explained to them the 'guest' would only stay temporarily.
Once everybody gathered around, I placed the tip of the knife on Jacie's crown, and whispered.
"Guide me, Mary."
Two golden threads came down from above and wrapped around my wrists. They felt so soft and soothing to my skin. The pulls on my wrists were gentle and precise, and with much less difficulty than I could ever expect, I successfully manage to skin Jacie's face off clean.
The disciples erupted into cheer as I held Jacie's mask in the air.
It felt good.
With further guidance from Mary's threads, I proceeded to take the eyes out of the sockets. Another superbly clean job.
Once all components were ready, I placed the eyes on the desk, and being careful not to make them roll off and fall to the ground, I managed to successfully place Jacie's face on it. Of course, it lost some of its original form due to the lack of structural support from the facial bones, but it was recognizably Jacie.
Perfect.
Mary took care of the final step. There came thousands of threads, invisible to the eye but tactile in their presence, and they were layered on top of the whore's face. It seemed to be a trivial task for Mary to wrap Jacie's face and eyeballs together like an artfully crafted vacuum bag. In less than a minute, I had a perfectly preserved face of Jacie in my hand.
"Kneel."
I commanded my disciples. Everyone obeyed.
I held Jacie's face up in the air with two hands, looked up to the sky where I knew Mary had to be, if not in body but in presence, then I expressed my gratitude.
"Thank you, Mary!"
"Thank you!" the faithful chanted together.
As I felt the leash to my soul gently tug once as a notice, I gave my final order to the disciples.
"Pound the body into nothingness."
"Yes, sir!"
With that, there was a pull on my neck, and I blacked out for a second.
When I opened my eyes again I found myself sitting at my desk in the classroom, still holding Jacie's face in my hands.
Everything was going according to plan with Mary's blessing.
I whistled as I walked to the front of the class, giving a little tap with my knuckle on Katie's desk on the way.
Once at the front, a golden thread came from above and cut through the floor cleanly, just in front of the desk where the miserably bullied girl sits. I took out the cut floorboard like a lid, placed Jacie's face in the hole, making sure that her face and the eyes were directed at Katie's desk.
When I closed the floor again, Mary did the final sealing with gentle sweep of the surface with the thread.
The job was done.
It was beautiful.
"Now she will always look up to you, Squirrel."
I announced and grinned, and I felt like I could hear Mary's faint laughter echo from afar.