(Jay's POV)
The base was quiet.
Too quiet.
I hated it.
The silence felt different when everyone was gone.
The briefing room was empty.
The hallways were empty.
Even the air felt heavier somehow.
I sat alone at the table, Kyle's file spread open in front of me.
Photographs.
Reports.
Locations.
Names.
I should have been focusing.
Instead, I kept rereading the same page.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Nothing was registering.
My mind wasn't here.
It hadn't been here all day.
I rubbed my eyes tiredly before leaning back into the chair.
Just for a second.
Just to rest.
Just to think.
The next thing I knew—
my phone rang.
My eyes snapped open.
The screen lit up.
Unknown Number.
I stared at it.
Something about it made my chest tighten.
I didn't know why.
The phone kept ringing.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
My hand moved before my brain could stop it.
I answered.
"…Hello?"
Silence.
For a moment, all I could hear was breathing.
Then—
"Jay."
The world stopped.
My grip on the phone tightened instantly.
No.
No way.
My throat closed.
I knew that voice.
I'd know it anywhere.
"Keifer."
The name barely came out as a whisper.
Silence.
Neither of us spoke for several seconds.
Neither of us knew where to begin.
Then he laughed softly.
Not because anything was funny.
Because he sounded exhausted.
"You really disappeared."
My eyes burned immediately.
I looked away.
"You shouldn't have called."
"Shouldn't I?"
"No."
The answer came too fast.
Too sharp.
Too rehearsed.
Silence followed.
Then quietly—
"You're crying."
I immediately covered my mouth.
Damn it.
I hadn't even noticed.
A tear slid down my cheek.
Then another.
"I'm not crying."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"Jay."
His voice broke slightly.
And that hurt more than anything.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Trying to stop.
Trying to breathe normally.
Trying not to let him hear it.
But every breath came out shakier than the last.
Every attempt to stop crying only made it worse.
"Jay…"
"Stop."
My voice cracked.
I hated that.
I hated how weak I sounded.
"I told you not to call."
"I couldn't."
That silence again.
The dangerous kind.
The kind filled with everything neither of us wanted to say.
Then finally—
"Are you okay?"
I laughed.
A broken laugh.
Because of course he'd ask that.
Of course he would.
"I'm fine."
"You're lying."
I pressed a hand over my eyes.
"I said I'm fine."
Another pause.
Then—
"Come home."
Everything inside me shattered.
"No."
"Come home."
"No."
"Please."
I stopped breathing.
The word hit harder than it should have.
Because Keifer never begged.
Never.
Not for anything.
Yet here he was.
And I couldn't give him what he wanted.
Because if I did—
he'd get hurt.
Maybe worse.
"I can't."
His breathing became uneven.
"So that's it?"
I couldn't answer.
Because if I opened my mouth, I'd tell him the truth.
That I missed him.
That leaving hurt.
That I thought about him every day.
Instead, I stayed silent.
And somehow that hurt even more.
Then suddenly—
a noise interrupted him.
A distant shout.
I frowned.
"What was that?"
Silence.
"Keifer?"
Another shout.
Louder this time.
Then running.
Fast footsteps.
My stomach dropped.
"Keifer."
The line crackled.
His breathing changed.
The exhaustion disappeared instantly.
Replaced by alertness.
By danger.
By something that made my heart start racing.
"Keifer, what's happening?"
No answer.
More voices.
More shouting.
Someone yelling instructions.
Everything became chaotic at once.
Then—
the sound disappeared.
Not completely.
Just enough to make it worse.
Like the phone had fallen somewhere.
"Keifer?"
Nothing.
"Keifer!"
For the first time, panic entered my voice.
Then I heard someone.
Not Keifer.
Someone else.
"Get over here!"
Another voice.
Then another.
My pulse thundered in my ears.
I knew those voices.
I knew them.
"Percy?"
No response.
The phone remained connected.
I could hear everything.
But nobody could hear me.
"Percy!"
Nothing.
Then Angelo's voice.
Loud.
Terrified.
A voice I'd never heard from him before.
My hands started shaking.
"What happened?"
Nobody answered.
More voices.
More panic.
Then Percy.
"Keifer!"
The chair scraped loudly as I stood.
My heart was beating too fast.
Way too fast.
"Keifer!"
The line crackled again.
Then Angelo's voice.
"Open your eyes."
My breathing stopped.
Silence.
A horrible silence.
The kind that lasted too long.
The kind that made fear crawl into places it shouldn't reach.
Then Percy again.
This time quieter.
Desperate.
"Come on."
My vision blurred.
"No."
Nobody could hear me.
Nobody.
"Please."
The word left my mouth before I realized it.
Then—
someone spoke.
A voice I couldn't identify.
Soft.
Broken.
And somehow worse than all the shouting.
The room spun.
My grip on the phone slipped.
And all I could hear was the ringing in my ears.
Then one final sentence reached me through the call.
Everything else disappeared.
Everything.
Except those words.
And the moment I heard them—
the world shattered.
…
My phone slipped from my hand.
The sound of it hitting the floor barely registered.
Nothing registered.
Not the room.
Not the lights.
Not the cold air around me.
Nothing.
My mind had stopped working the second those words reached me.
Gone.
The word echoed inside my head.
Again.
And again.
And again.
"No…"
My voice came out as a whisper.
A broken one.
"No."
This wasn't happening.
It couldn't be happening.
Keifer couldn't be—
No.
No.
No.
I shook my head violently.
As if that alone could erase what I had just heard.
Tears blurred my vision completely.
I couldn't see.
Couldn't think.
Couldn't understand anything anymore.
The room suddenly felt too small.
Too quiet.
Too empty.
"Keifer…"
The name left my lips like a plea.
Like somehow saying it would bring him back.
But there was nothing.
No answer.
No voice.
No laugh.
No teasing remark.
Nothing.
My knees gave out.
I hit the floor hard.
I didn't even feel it.
The pain in my side didn't matter.
The ache in my body didn't matter.
Nothing mattered.
Not anymore.
A sob tore from my throat.
Then another.
Then another.
Until I couldn't stop.
I curled forward, hands shaking uncontrollably.
Every memory hit at once.
His smile.
His voice.
The way he always looked at me.
The way he refused to leave my side.
The way he kept finding me no matter how far I ran.
And now—
Now he was gone.
Because of me.
The thought shattered whatever was left inside me.
A cry escaped before I could stop it.
I pressed a hand over my mouth immediately.
Trying to hold everything back.
Trying to breathe.
Trying to think.
But every breath felt wrong.
Too fast.
Too shallow.
My chest tightened painfully.
I inhaled.
Nothing.
I tried again.
Nothing.
The room spun.
The walls blurred.
My heart raced faster and faster.
I couldn't slow it down.
Couldn't control it.
Couldn't make it stop.
"Please…"
The word came out weak.
Barely audible.
I reached for the desk beside me.
Missed.
My hand slipped.
The floor tilted beneath me.
Or maybe it was me.
I couldn't tell anymore.
The sound of my own heartbeat filled my ears.
Loud.
Too loud.
Everything felt distant.
Like I was sinking somewhere I couldn't escape from.
I tried to take another breath.
But it wouldn't come properly.
Panic crashed into me all at once.
My vision darkened around the edges.
The room became blurry.
Then blurrier.
And blurrier.
Until all I could do was lie there.
Tears still falling.
Hands trembling.
Trying desperately to breathe.
Trying desperately to hold on.
And failing.
My phone slipped from my hand.
The sound of it hitting the floor barely registered.
Nothing registered.
Not the room.
Not the lights.
Not the cold air around me.
Nothing.
My mind had stopped working the second those words reached me.
Gone.
The word echoed inside my head.
Again.
And again.
And again.
"No…"
My voice came out as a whisper.
A broken one.
"No."
This wasn't happening.
It couldn't be happening.
Keifer couldn't be—
No.
No.
No.
I shook my head violently.
As if that alone could erase what I had just heard.
Tears blurred my vision completely.
I couldn't see.
Couldn't think.
Couldn't understand anything anymore.
The room suddenly felt too small.
Too quiet.
Too empty.
"Keifer…"
The name left my lips like a plea.
Like somehow saying it would bring him back.
But there was nothing.
No answer.
No voice.
No laugh.
No teasing remark.
Nothing.
My knees gave out.
I hit the floor hard.
I didn't even feel it.
The pain in my side didn't matter.
The ache in my body didn't matter.
Nothing mattered.
Not anymore.
A sob tore from my throat.
Then another.
Then another.
Until I couldn't stop.
I curled forward, hands shaking uncontrollably.
Every memory hit at once.
His smile.
His voice.
The way he always looked at me.
The way he refused to leave my side.
The way he kept finding me no matter how far I ran.
And now—
Now he was gone.
Because of me.
The thought shattered whatever was left inside me.
A cry escaped before I could stop it.
I pressed a hand over my mouth immediately.
Trying to hold everything back.
Trying to breathe.
Trying to think.
But every breath felt wrong.
Too fast.
Too shallow.
My chest tightened painfully.
I inhaled.
Nothing.
I tried again.
Nothing.
The room spun.
The walls blurred.
My heart raced faster and faster.
I couldn't slow it down.
Couldn't control it.
Couldn't make it stop.
"Please…"
The word came out weak.
Barely audible.
I reached for the desk beside me.
Missed.
My hand slipped.
The floor tilted beneath me.
Or maybe it was me.
I couldn't tell anymore.
The sound of my own heartbeat filled my ears.
Loud.
Too loud.
Everything felt distant.
Like I was sinking somewhere I couldn't escape from.
I tried to take another breath.
But it wouldn't come properly.
Panic crashed into me all at once.
My vision darkened around the edges.
The room became blurry.
Then blurrier.
And blurrier.
Until all I could do was lie there.
Tears still falling.
Hands trembling.
Trying desperately to breathe.
Trying desperately to hold on.
And failing.