📖 Chapter 1: Akelapan (English Translation)
I can't believe how much I have changed…
People say I am a good person, but I have never been able to understand myself.
Today is my birthday…
but there is no one with me.
Even with everyone around… I feel alone.
Sometimes it feels like
as if I belong to no one…
and no one belongs to me. 💔📖 Chapter 2: A Home That Was Not a Home
Even though I had parents,
I never truly felt their warmth or love.
People say that a mother can never mean harm…
but my mother…
perhaps she never understood me.
My father,
who once meant everything to me,
now doesn't even look at me.
Even my smile was wrong,
my words were wrong…
as if my very existence itself was a mistake.📖 Chapter 3: First Love, First Betrayal
Then, a boy came into my life…
starting as a friend, and slowly becoming love.
He understood me,
and made me feel that I was not alone.
He promised me—
"I will marry you…"
And I believed him.
But one day…
he left.
And took away with him—
my trust ⚡📖 Chapter 4: Behind the Silence
After he left…
life suddenly felt as if it had come to a standstill.
The words that once brought comfort to the heart
now started to hurt from within.
Every morning felt the same…
and every night felt even longer.
I no longer felt like talking to anyone,
nor did I feel like listening to anyone.
Slowly, I distanced myself from people.
Because now I had started to fear…
that if I trusted someone again,
I might end up feeling the same pain all over again.
Even at school/college, I was no longer the same.
People would approach me… try to talk…
but I would simply respond and step away.
Someone once asked me—
"Why are you always so quiet?"
I just gave a faint smile…
and said—
"There's nothing worth saying…"
But the truth was…
there was a lot to say,
just no one to listen.At night, I often couldn't sleep.
I would lie down and stare at the ceiling…
and memories would come rushing back…
those promises…
those lies…
and the trust that had been broken.
Sometimes I wondered…
Was it really my fault?
Or… do I always end up meeting the wrong people?Amid that silence…
a name slowly began to echo in my life again…
Ayaan…
The same person I had first collided with…
was now appearing in front of me again and again.
And strangely…
his presence bothered me…
yet somewhere deep inside…
I was starting to get used to it.After that day…
something within me began to change.
Ayaan's presence…
was no longer just a simple encounter for me.
His gaze… his words…
everything started to make me feel uneasy from within.
I don't know why…
every time he appeared in front of me,
my heart would start racing…
but it wasn't a pleasant feeling.
It was restlessness…
something I wanted to escape from.
I kept asking myself again and again—
"What is happening to me?"
But I had no answers.
Only one thing became clear…
that I could no longer stay in that environment.
That night, I stayed awake for a long time.
The silence of the room disturbed me even more.
The same thought kept circling in my mind…
Am I getting trapped in another unknown complication?
No…
I cannot bear pain again.
The next morning…
I made a decision.
A decision that wasn't easy,
but it was necessary.
I would leave this city.
A place where every corner held memories…
where every place was tied to some emotion…
where my silence had only grown deeper.
I started packing my essential belongings into a bag.
With each item…
I was leaving behind my old life.
There was a strange sense of relief…
and at the same time, a hidden fear.
But this time…
I gathered my strength.
"No more…" I whispered to myself.