(Kaia Verene's POV)
I shouldn't have said it like that.
That's the first thought I have.
Not I shouldn't have said it.
Just—
not like that.
Too harsh.
Too fast.
Too—
honest.
I sit in the same seat.
Back row. Window side.
Everything's the same.
Except—
she's not here.
Not beside me.
Not close.
Not—
I force my eyes down to my notebook.
Focus.
Write.
Ignore.
Simple.
It should be simple.
It always was before her.
The classroom fills slowly.
Noise builds.
Voices overlap.
Normal.
Everything is—
"She moved seats."
I pause.
My pen stills mid-word.
I don't look up.
"…Okay," I say flatly.
Lena doesn't sit this time.
She just stands there, watching me.
"You don't even want to know where?"
"No."
"She's not even in the back anymore."
I press my pen harder.
Ink smudges.
Annoying.
"I said I don't care."
"Mhm."
Silence.
Then—
"She listened to you."
That—
I stop writing.
Just for a second.
Then continue.
"I know."
"That's it?"
"What do you want me to say."
"I don't know," Lena shrugs. "Maybe not act like you just… kicked a puppy."
I look up.
"…She's not a puppy."
"You know what I mean."
I don't respond.
Because I do.
And I don't like it.
Lena studies me for a moment longer.
Then sighs.
"You're weird."
"Leave."
She rolls her eyes and walks away.
Finally.
I look back down.
Try to focus.
But it's harder now.
Because there's something missing.
Something that wasn't there before—
but is now.
Silence.
Not the good kind.
Not the controlled kind.
Just—
empty.
I don't look for her.
I don't.
I just—
notice things.
Like how her voice sounds different from across the room.
Quieter.
Less—
present.
Like how she laughs, but it doesn't carry the same way.
Like how she doesn't look back here anymore.
At all.
Good.
That's what I wanted.
That's—
why does that feel worse?
I shift slightly in my seat.
Uncomfortable.
Annoyed.
At myself.
At this.
At—
everything.
Halfway through class, I look up.
Just for a second.
Just to—
check something.
And I see her.
Front row.
Talking to someone.
Not as much as before.
Not as easy.
But still—
fine.
She's fine.
Of course she is.
Why wouldn't she be?
It's not like—
I look away.
Fast.
Too fast.
My chest tightens.
Again.
Annoying.
"You're staring."
I flinch slightly.
I hate that.
I glance at Lena.
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"You literally stopped writing."
"I do that sometimes."
"Not like that."
I glare at her.
"Do you ever stop talking."
"No."
"Unfortunate."
She grins.
But then—
"You should apologize."
"No."
Too quick.
Too automatic.
She raises an eyebrow.
"Didn't even think about it."
"I don't need to."
"You were harsh."
"I meant it."
Did I?
I don't let myself think about that.
Lena leans slightly closer.
"You didn't."
"I did."
"You're lying."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
She watches me.
Longer this time.
Then—
"…okay."
That again.
I hate that word.
The way people say it when they don't believe you.
When they know something you won't admit.
I look away.
Conversation over.
Or it should be.
But my mind—
doesn't stop.
It replays it.
Her face.
That pause.
That small shift in her expression.
And then—
"Okay."
Soft.
Quiet.
Accepting.
Like she didn't even try to fight it.
Like she—
believed me.
I clench my jaw.
Hard.
Good.
That's good.
That means it worked.
That means she won't—
bother me anymore.
That means everything goes back to normal.
That means—
why does it feel like something's wrong?
The bell rings.
I stand up immediately.
Pack my things.
Leave.
Routine.
Control.
Normal.
Except—
I slow down near the door.
Just slightly.
Just enough to—
No.
I walk out.
Into the hallway.
People moving.
Talking.
Existing.
I blend into it.
Like always.
Like nothing changed.
But something did.
I just—
don't want to admit it.
"Kaia."
I freeze.
My heart—
stupid.
I turn.
Slowly.
And there she is.
Elara.
Standing a few steps away.
Not too close.
Not like before.
Distance.
Just like I wanted.
"Hey," she says.
Careful.
Again.
I nod once.
"…Hi."
It feels strange.
This.
Us.
Like we skipped something.
Or broke it.
Or—
"I just wanted to give this back," she says, holding out something.
My pen.
The one I didn't realize I left behind.
I stare at it for a second.
Then take it.
"…Thanks."
"No problem."
Silence.
Awkward.
I don't like it.
I don't like that it exists now.
Between us.
I tighten my grip on the pen.
I should say something.
I know I should.
This is the moment.
The easiest moment.
Just—
say it.
Sorry.
One word.
Simple.
Fixable.
But my chest tightens.
My throat feels—
closed.
And all I can hear is—
Don't get attached.
Don't let anyone in.
Don't be weak.
I swallow.
Hard.
"…You didn't have to bring it," I say instead.
Her expression doesn't change much.
But I see it.
That small flicker.
Again.
"I know," she says. "I wanted to."
I nod.
"…Okay."
There's a pause.
Then—
"I meant what I said yesterday."
The words come out before I can stop them.
Why did I—
I watch her carefully.
Waiting.
For something.
Anything.
But she just nods.
"I know."
That's it.
No argument.
No reaction.
Just—
acceptance.
Again.
And that—
that makes it worse.
Good.
That's good.
That's what I want.
That's—
why does it feel like I just made it permanent?
"…Okay," I say.
Because I don't know what else to say.
She gives a small smile.
Not the same as before.
Softer.
But distant.
"See you around, Kaia."
Not tomorrow.
Not like before.
Just—
around.
I nod once.
She turns.
Walks away.
And this time—
I don't call her back.
I don't say anything.
I don't—
stop her.
I just stand there.
Holding my pen.
Staring at nothing.
Because I did what I was supposed to do.
I kept my distance.
I protected myself.
I didn't let anything—
start.
So why does it feel like—
I just ended something instead?
I exhale slowly.
Shake it off.
Turn around.
Walk the other way.
Because this is better.
This is safer.
This is—
what I wanted.
Right?
…right.