MIRA
The day I was born was one of the happiest days of my parents' lives.
They had always wished for a daughter after having their two sons, and eventually... I was born as their first girl child.
But sometimes I wonder if it was truly me who was lucky-
or simply them.
Because my own luck?
Till this day, it has been absolutely questionable.
And now, as if life itself wanted to confirm it-
a bird had literally pooped on me on the first official day of my university life.
Amazing.
Truly amazing.
And to make things even worse, the person who pointed it out was none other than Chun Yuze himself-
a man who seemed personally sent by fate to witness every embarrassing moment of my existence.
At this point, I was fully convinced that the universe simply enjoyed humiliating me.
"You're acting like something terrible happened," he said calmly.
"Maybe because I'm tired of embarrassing myself in front of people," I replied, finally looking up at him.
My eyes had already started turning watery, something I hated more than anything.
Great.
Just great.
Now I probably looked even more pathetic standing in the middle of the street like this.
He would make fun of me again, wouldn't he?
Tell me how clumsy I was.
How careless I was.
How dramatic and troublesome I was.
Wasn't that what people usually did?
I quickly turned my gaze away from him before he could say anything else.
The morning streets outside the bakery were already getting busier.
People walked past us casually while the distant sounds of traffic and conversations blended into the air.
Yet somehow, standing there in that moment felt unbearably exposing.
But strangely-
silence followed instead.
No sarcastic remark.
No teasing.
Then after a brief pause, his voice came again, quieter this time.
"You care too much about what other people think."
I frowned slightly, still refusing to look directly at him.
"...Easy for you to say."
"No," he replied simply. "It isn't."
That made me slowly lift my eyes toward him again.
For the first time since meeting Chun Yuze, his expression didn't look cold or irritated.
Just... tired.
Like someone who understood the feeling more than he wanted to admit.
stayed silent for a moment, confused.
There were suddenly too many questions in my mind.
Questions I wanted to ask...
but didn't have the courage to.
And honestly, why should I?
Maybe he had his own problems completely unrelated to mine.
Maybe I was simply overthinking another meaningless moment again.
So instead of saying anything else, I did what I always did best-
I escaped.
Without another word, I turned away from him and walked toward the stairs leading to my room instead of entering their house.
Because at that moment, I didn't want comfort.
I didn't want conversation either.
I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts again.
Which was ironic, honestly.
Because my own thoughts were the very things that exhausted me the most.
There was never anyone to answer me back inside my head.
Only myself-
asking questions, overthinking everything, and replying to my own worries endlessly.
That was simply the kind of person I had always been.
__________________
After cleaning my hair and somehow fixing my appearance again, I quietly left for the university.
I didn't say anything to Aunt Shu-Zhen before leaving.
I didn't want her to worry over something so stupid.
Right now, I just needed air.
Space.
Silence.
The excitement I had felt for my first official day at the university had already faded away somewhere along the morning.
I had lost hope too quickly again.
That was always my problem.
The moment something went wrong, my mind immediately convinced me that the entire day was ruined beyond repair.
At that moment, I wished for nothing more than to stop thinking entirely.
Not look anywhere.
Not listen to anyone.
Not feel anything.
And after surviving the day somehow, return home quietly and cook myself a proper comforting Indian dinner.
Maybe that alone would make me feel human again.
As I entered the Tsinghua University campus, the place was already overflowing with students.
Groups of people walked across the pathways laughing, talking, rushing toward buildings with coffees and bags in their hands.
Yet despite the crowd, the campus itself was so massive and beautiful that it somehow swallowed the noise whole, making even hundreds of students seem small beneath it.
For a brief second, I stopped walking just to take it all in.
The huge buildings.
The green trees moving softly with the wind.
The feeling of standing somewhere I had once only seen through screens and brochures.
It almost felt unreal that I was actually here.
Shaking the thoughts away, I checked my class schedule once again on my phone before finally heading toward my first lecture room.
_________________
The classroom was huge.
Cool air from the conditioners spread evenly through the room while sunlight poured softly through the large glass windows, making the entire place feel calm and bright.
Quite a few students were already there, chatting among themselves casually.
Okay...
maybe things weren't completely hopeless after all.
Wanting a little peace, I chose a seat beside the window in the fourth row just as I had promised myself earlier.
At least there, I could quietly disappear into my own corner without attracting attention.
To distract myself from overthinking again, I quickly texted my mother a picture of the classroom along with a message saying I was safe and doing well. Otherwise she would probably spend every second worrying herself into a heart attack.
After that, I lazily scrolled through social media to kill time.
"Excuse me... can I sit beside you?", A soft voice suddenly spoke near me.
I looked up from my phone.
Standing beside my desk was a girl around my age carrying an enormous guitar case on her back along with a side bag hanging from her shoulder.
It was like she carried her own atmosphere around her.
A wolf cut with soft purple highlights framed her face perfectly, giving her a cool yet effortless look. Even though she seemed slightly tired, it did absolutely nothing to lessen how pretty she was.
But her eyes were the most noticeable part. They were expressive. Alive. Like they spoke before she even did.
I blinked once before shifting slightly to make space for her.
"Yeah, sure."
Even her guitar case looked beautiful somehow.
I couldn't help staring at it for a second longer before quickly looking down with a small smile.
I seriously needed to learn how to control my expressions before they exposed every thought in my head.
"Hello! My name is Xian An. You can call me An-An."
I looked back up, slightly startled by her sudden energy.
She had already extended her hand toward me confidently for a handshake.
Well...
greetings couldn't possibly hurt, I guessed.
I gently shook her hand.
"Hi. My name is Mira Neog. I'm an international student," I replied with a small nod.
The moment she heard the words international student, her expression changed instantly.
Not negatively-
more like genuine shock.
"You're an international student?" she repeated. "Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I'm from India."
"WHAT?"
She almost jumped in surprise, making me blink at her.
"I thought you were literally anything except Indian!"
Somehow, her reaction actually made me laugh softly.
"Well, India has all kinds of people," I replied with a smile. "I'm just one of them."
Xian An stared at me dramatically for another second before suddenly leaning closer.
"Well, you fit Chinese beauty standards perfectly," she declared shamelessly. "I've seriously never seen someone this sexy before."
...Wow.
That was unexpectedly direct.
I genuinely didn't know how to react anymore.
My awkward self wanted to hide under the desk immediately, yet somehow...
I also wanted the conversation to continue.
Then I suddenly felt her observing me from head to toe.
Not in a judging way exactly...
just intensely.
And then she looked at my chest,
her gaze stopped.
Oh no.
I immediately knew where she was looking, and my soul nearly left my body for the second time that day.
I was already preparing to somehow change the topic before the awkwardness killed me completely.
But before I could say anything-
she pointed at my boobs very seriously and blurted out,
"They're big!"
...
Okay.
What the actual fuck was that supposed to mean?!
My eyes widened instantly as I looked around the classroom in panic.
"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT OUT LOUD?!" I whispered aggressively, nearly choking on air.
Xian An blinked innocently.
"What? I was complimenting you."
"THAT IS NOT HOW NORMAL PEOPLE COMPLIMENT OTHERS!"
She gasped dramatically.
"You wound me, Mira. I was appreciating beauty."
"Please appreciate beauty silently."
She suddenly burst into laughter, holding her stomach while trying to stay quiet inside the classroom.
Meanwhile, I sat there reconsidering every life decision that had brought me to China.
First Chun Yuze.
Now this strange guitar girl.
What kind of people was I attracting?
Still laughing softly, Xian An wiped the corner of her eye dramatically before leaning toward me again.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," she whispered. "But honestly? You're really pretty. I just say things before thinking sometimes."
I stared at her for a second before sighing deeply.
...Why did she somehow feel impossible to dislike?
Well, a lot of people had called me pretty before, but never this chaotically.
There was something strangely comforting about her despite how weird she was.
I laughed softly.
"Well, I'll accept your compliment even if it was slightly concerning." Then I looked at her properly and smiled.
"You're really pretty too."
Xian An immediately leaned against the desk dramatically, placing a hand over her chest.
"Am I really pretty? Then why don't I have a proper boyfriend till now?" she sighed.
I couldn't help laughing again.
"Do you think I've ever had one either?"
She looked at me in disbelief.
"You never had a boyfriend? Mira, don't joke with me."
"It's the truth, An." I shrugged lightly. "Besides... everyone has their own time for meeting that person, right?"
Xian An suddenly narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me.
"Wow."
"What?"
"That sounded way too wise for someone who has never dated."
"I read books."
"Ah." She nodded seriously. "The most dangerous species."
I laughed under my breath while she continued staring at me like she had just discovered something fascinating.
Then suddenly-
"Wait," she gasped softly. "You're the type who falls in love once and stays loyal forever, aren't you?"
I nearly choked on air.
"WHAT kind of assumption is that?!"
"I can tell." She pointed at me confidently. "You have that face."
"What does that even mean?"
"Like..." she squinted dramatically while analyzing me. "You look like the type to cry while listening to sad songs at 2 a.m."
...Okay, now she was attacking me personally.
I quickly looked away toward the window.
"You're surprisingly judgemental for someone I met five minutes ago."
"And I'm surprisingly accurate."
I hated how she might actually be right.
Before I could defend myself again, Xian An suddenly leaned closer over the desk with sparkling eyes.
"So what's your type then?"
I blinked.
"...Type?"
"In men!" she whispered loudly like it was the most important discussion of the century.
"An, we just met."
"Exactly. We're speedrunning friendship."
I stared at her for a good three seconds before giving up internally.
This girl genuinely had no brakes.
"I don't know," I admitted honestly. "I never really thought deeply about it."
Xian An looked horrified.
"Impossible. Every girl has a type."
"Then maybe I'm defective."
"No," she said immediately. "You're just emotionally suspicious."
"...Emotionally suspicious?"
"Yes. Like you look soft, but I feel like you'd run away if someone genuinely liked you."
My smile faded slightly at that.
Why was she weirdly accurate?
I looked out the window again, avoiding her eyes this time.
"Maybe," I murmured quietly.
Xian An noticed the shift in my mood almost instantly.
But instead of pushing further, she suddenly changed the topic dramatically on purpose.
"ANYWAY," she announced, slamming her hands on the desk softly. "My type is tall men with emotional problems."
I burst out laughing so suddenly that a few students turned toward us.
"That's not a type," I whispered. "That's a red flag."
"Exactly," she replied proudly. "And unfortunately, I'm colorblind."
"Oh God, you're so weird," I laughed.
"As if you aren't," she shot back immediately. "Look at you with that unfairly perfect face."
I groaned dramatically and leaned my head back slightly.
"Ugh... how long has it been since I laughed this much?"
Xian An suddenly narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
"Wait."
"What?"
"You sound emotionally unemployed."
"Emotionally unemployed?"
"Yes. Like someone who has been surviving life instead of living it."
Okay.
Why did this girl keep hitting sensitive topics with sniper accuracy?
I sighed deeply.
"Well... let's just say life has been a little complicated."
Xian An immediately leaned closer again.
"Are you secretly in debt to loan sharks?"
I almost choked laughing.
"Ugh, no! Not that. It's something else."
"Hm." She rested her chin on her palm dramatically. "Mysterious foreign beauty with hidden trauma. Interesting."
"Stop making my life sound like a Netflix series."
"Too late."
I shook my head helplessly before she suddenly asked,
"So where are you staying?"
"Umm... you know Cloud Bakery?"
She nodded casually at first.
"I live on the first floor there."
She froze.
Then very slowly, she turned her head toward me with widened eyes.
"...You live there?"
"Yeah?" I blinked. "What's with that reaction?"
Xian An stared at me for another second before suddenly grabbing my arm dramatically.
"WAIT."
"What now?!"
"Don't tell me you live with Chun Yuze."
The moment I heard that cursed name, my soul became tired again.
"...Unfortunately."
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