"The Sand ninja's operation… they haven't mobilized?"
Orochimaru scanned the area below the stands.
Not just within the arena—even beyond Konoha's walls, the Sand ninja hadn't used the ninjutsu the Sound ninja had called forth for them.
The only ones actively making a move right now were the Sound ninja on-site.
But it didn't matter.
Destroying Konoha or whatever—none of that mattered.
In this dead-still Konoha, all he needed was to shake things up.
"Kazekage-sama, what is the meaning of this?!"
The Third Hokage turned to Orochimaru.
The two guards flanking Orochimaru had abruptly collapsed to the ground.
"Hm?"
"Has Hokage-sama not noticed? These two guards—they're actually Sound ninja."
Hanabi extended her foot and flicked her blade across the fallen men's forehead protectors, slicing through their disguises.
These two weren't the Sand ninja escorts from the "original story."
They were Sound ninja in disguise.
Not that it mattered who they were. Fodder who got one-shot either way.
"Hokage-sama!"
The guard Raido Namiashi immediately stepped in front of the Third Hokage.
"My dear Sarutobi-sensei, it seems your eyes have grown dim with age." Orochimaru sighed. "I had planned to snatch Sasuke away while Gaara was causing a commotion, but it seems things don't always go as planned."
The Sand's goal had been to unleash Shukaku and take out the Kazekage in one stroke.
Orochimaru had also wanted Shukaku to rampage—so he could grab Sasuke in the chaos.
But nobody had anticipated that Naruto would suddenly summon Gamabunta and carry Gaara away.
"The Vanishing Facial Copy Technique, I think that's what it was called." Both Kage had risen to their feet, so Hanabi simply plopped herself down in the Kazekage's seat. "Well, the Sand ninja's real objective has already been achieved."
This brat is insufferable!
Can't she see this is a moving reunion between master and student?!
"—You don't mean—?!"
The Third Hokage caught on the moment he heard those words.
Since the jig was up, Orochimaru dropped the act. He peeled away the Kazekage's face, revealing his own beneath it.
"So it really is you, Orochimaru."
The Third had sensed something was off from the very beginning. But only now did he realize with a jolt that Orochimaru had actually dared to impersonate the Kazekage.
Still, this atmosphere was a bit… the Hanabi girl next to them was still here. Did she not realize how dangerous this was?
For one brief instant, the Third Hokage and Orochimaru reached perfect consensus on a single point: Hanabi was totally in the way.
"Hokage-sama, please fall back! Leave this to me!"
Raido Namiashi charged forward.
—Oh right, the bodyguard was here too.
But the next moment, Raido felt something snag his feet. He couldn't move. A red cord.
"Don't be an idiot. If you rush in, not even the Third Hokage-sama might be able to save you." Hanabi's voice carried over.
Yours truly was here explicitly to cause trouble.
Relying on the fact that she couldn't die, she was going to push her luck to the absolute limit.
Dancing in and out of the danger zone—now that was entertainment.
Orochimaru found Hanabi thoroughly annoying, but there was no way he could attack her now.
And when he finally went after the Hokage, who knew what stunts this girl would pull.
"The Sand ninja standing idle—that was your doing too, wasn't it, Hanabi." Orochimaru narrowed his eyes.
Since nothing had gone his way, he might as well take a moment to reassess.
"That wasn't me. That was Jōnin Baki. After negotiations with the Kazekage fell through, Jōnin Baki had reached his limit with the Kazekage-sama's bizarre thought process, and decided to stage a coup."
Hanabi hadn't investigated this herself.
The key was… all of this had already played out on the audience's screens!
She and the viewers had experienced the entire "plot" together!
"Of course, not everyone was willing to betray the Kazekage. But that's fine—those holdouts have already been neutralized."
Mm… using Hikari's Yachihoko.
The Konoha Crush Plan looked impressive at first glance, but when you actually thought it through, it couldn't hold a candle to even a hair of Pain's destruction of Konoha. The invasion itself served no real purpose—it started for no reason and ended for no reason. If you had to point to something, it was that the Third Hokage's death brought Tsunade onto the stage, and it gave Naruto and Gaara a fight.
And then… that was it.
It was as if Kishimoto had thought, "I want a big spectacle," and so he'd slapped together this headless, tailless mess of a story called the Konoha Crush Plan.
If that was the case, then why not preemptively slice away the meaningless parts?
At the very least, she had to find a way to "bait" that old salted fish Danzo out into the open.
It was infuriating.
—Wasn't the deal that whenever a genius protagonist showed up, Danzo would come running to the Third Hokage demanding custody?!
That was how it always went in the fanfics!
Why did she keep getting the feeling that Danzo was actively avoiding her?!
Oh, right—she was the Hyuga clan's eldest daughter, the rising star of tomorrow.
Well, never mind then.
For the Chūnin Exams, the Konoha Crush Plan was actually the least important part.
The First and Second Hokage's appearance via Edo Tensei had even caused a string of problems. Originally, the First and Second's power level at this point was supposed to be their "in-life" strength, but due to setting changes, the Edo Tensei here had to be nerfed with a "precision limitations" excuse.
But now this world was a real world, and nothing was so clear-cut anymore.
Some of the original "patches" were facts from the start in this world.
Which only made certain people's bizarre thought processes look even more absurd.
For Director Hanabi, rewriting the script was an absolute necessity.
She couldn't change the "big picture" yet, but small-scale adjustments? Hanabi had gotten quite good at those by now.
Besides giving Naruto her spotlight moment, Hanabi had another plan: finding ways to flex.
After this incident came the Search for Tsunade arc, and that was when the Akatsuki would make their official debut. The Naruto world's combat power was about to hit its first major "level-up."
If she didn't properly build up her prestige now, that simply wouldn't do.
"But regardless, this is an act of war. Konoha will crumble in this conflict." Orochimaru continued dropping threats.
"Zannen. Then I'll wager that not a single person in Konoha will die. How about that?" Hanabi smiled.
Hilarious.
Yours truly just loved a happy ending.
And even if Konoha had to be destroyed, it should be her doing it personally!
"Let me think… how would you deal with us, I wonder."
Right now, certain intelligence had been "declassified."
"The Sound Four, was it? No—the Sound Five, I should say." Hanabi spoke. "The four currently hiding on this rooftop are part of them, correct? And the fifth? Already dead? Or… with Sasuke?"
"You even know about that?" For the first time, Orochimaru felt like his Hidden Sound Village leaked like a sieve.
"Zannen." A different voice spoke up. "Your opponent is me."
Kabuto Yakushi.
"Kabuto?" Orochimaru frowned.
Kabuto's arrival shifted the balance somewhat.
But Kabuto shouldn't have been here at all.
Orochimaru hadn't ordered him here. He was supposed to be supporting the Sound ninja in capturing Sasuke.
In other words, Kabuto had gone rogue.
"My apologies, Orochimaru-sama. I also have questions I need answered. Unless I have a real fight, I won't be able to put them to rest." Kabuto looked at Hanabi. "Let's do this. I need a genuine battle."