"Why were you crying? Was it the nightmare? Or because Princess Sheng'an ruined your gown?"
"No, it was just the dream."
"That gown is your favorite. Look—I washed it. Good as new."
Shen Yuan produced the gown from behind his back like a magic trick, holding it up for her to see. Every trace of wine was gone; the silk was spotless, carrying a faint scent of soapberry.
"Brother Shen, you're the best!" Su Jing laughed through her tears, eyes curving into happy crescents.
You're the only person in this world who treats me like this. One lifetime with just you—is that really too much to ask?
"But I'll let you in on a secret. This isn't my favorite gown."
"Oh?"
"My favorite is the red one. The one Mother made for me the year before she died."
"But you've never worn it."
"That's precisely because I love it too much. I'm afraid to wear it—afraid someone might take it from me."
"You deserve the very best, Your Highness. No one will take anything from you."
* * *
His voice was warm, but a quiet ache pressed behind it. He was a broken vessel—he couldn't hold steady long enough to give her the shelter she deserved.
"Then I'll put it on for you right now. Will you look?" Su Jing leaped out of bed and rummaged through the wardrobe until she found the red gown.
"Turn around—I'm changing!" She winked at him.
Shen Yuan spun on his heel and took several long steps toward the far wall.
The chamber was silent save for the whisper of fabric sliding against skin. Impossibly loud in the stillness.
The tips of his ears burned. He should have gone farther.
"You can look now!"
He turned. The girl stood before him, black hair cascading like a waterfall, lips curved into a crescent smile. The scarlet gown blazed against her snow-white skin. Barefoot, she ran toward him, eyes bright as embers, the dim candlelight catching the side of her face.
Devastating. Heartbreaking.
Shen Yuan knew he would remember this moment for the rest of his life.
* * *
"Am I beautiful?" Su Jing tugged at his sleeve, her voice dipping into that teasing lilt she saved only for him.
"Your Highness is, as always, breathtaking." He nodded, fighting to keep his composure.
"One more secret. Mother told me she hoped I would wear this red gown on the day I married the person I truly loved. You are the very first to see me in it. So—will you—"
"Your Highness!"
Shen Yuan cut her off before she could finish, his voice cracking.
"You deserve the finest man in the world. I am only a eunuch—not even a man. How could I ever dare to dream of you?"
"And if I tell you that I care for no one else? That I only want to be with you?"
Her eyes rimmed red.
"That is because you are still young, Your Highness. You have met too few good men to know your own heart. It is late. Please rest. I will take my leave."
Su Jing watched his retreating silhouette and let out a long, heavy sigh.
One day, Shen Yuan. I will make you understand how much I love you.
* * *
Su Jing had been miserable for days.
Ever since her thinly veiled confession, Shen Yuan fled at the sight of her like a mouse spotting a cat. On the rare occasions they crossed paths, he locked his face into a stiff mask, offered a tepid "Your Highness, good day," and kept a conspicuous distance between them.
She didn't dare push any further. She was terrified he would do exactly what he'd done in the last life—pack his things and defect to her father's court.
Deeply, profoundly miserable.
A dark corner of her mind whispered: Forget Shen Yuan for now. Once everything is in place and I hold power, I'll simply take him by force. Lock him in my chambers. Let no one see him. He'll have no choice but to be mine.
Her fingers drummed together with undisguised glee.
Then, just as quickly, her head drooped.
If she did that, how would she be any different from Wu Qi?
Shen Yuan would hate her. She would only push him further away.
Why is life just as complicated the second time around?!
Su Jing scratched her head and decided to focus on the real plan first.
* * *
"Your Highness, the General sent you a gown." Baoyin presented a beautifully wrapped parcel and whispered in her ear. "Will you accept it, or should I return it?"
An unmarried man, an unmarried woman—a private gift between them left nothing to the imagination.
"Of course I'll accept it. It would be rude to refuse such a thoughtful gesture." Su Jing deliberately opened the parcel in front of the other servants.
The gown was exquisite—pale blue flowing silk that shimmered in the sunlight, the cuffs dotted with lustrous pearls. Clearly chosen with care.
"How lovely."
Su Jing played the smitten girl to perfection, hugging the gown to her chest and twirling, then dashing back to her chamber to try it on.
A quarter of an hour later, Wu Qi's informant arrived with the report.
"The moment Princess Cheng'an laid eyes on the gown, she was enchanted. Couldn't stop smiling."
"Good." Wu Qi sipped his tea, lips curling at the rim. Everything was unfolding exactly within his control.
The instant Su Jing was alone, she flung the gown onto the floor with undisguised disgust. A small bamboo scroll tumbled from its pocket.
"I hear Your Highness adores blue. This humble gift awaits our reunion at Jiayuan Temple next month."
She smiled. The fish has taken the bait.
* * *
Shen Yuan had watched every moment of Su Jing unwrapping the gift. His mood curdled into something he couldn't name.
Everything was going exactly as he wished. The princess had stopped entangling herself with him and accepted another man's attention—the right choice, the healthy choice.
So why did a sliver of hurt lodge itself in his chest?
Only days ago she had sworn she wanted no one but him. How could she move on so quickly, throwing herself into someone else's arms?
She didn't even like blue. So why did a simple gown make her that happy?
She's just a child. "I only like you"—what a fool I was to believe it.
A princess's mouth: nothing but pretty lies.
Shen Yuan's mood stayed black for days, while Su Jing threw herself into plotting every last detail of her plan.
"Your Highness, you intend to visit Princess Sheng'an? But she threw a full cup of wine on you just the other night!" Baoyin was bewildered, already bracing for another humiliation.
"It's fine. I'm bringing her a gift this time. She won't give me trouble."
"Prepare a lacquered food box with her favorite plum-blossom cakes. We'll bring it along." Su Jing's tone left no room for argument.
Baoyin couldn't begin to fathom her mistress's thinking. She bowed and retreated to carry out the order.
* * *
That afternoon, Su Jing and Baoyin headed for Princess Sheng'an's quarters. They were stopped at the door.
"The princess is unwell today. She sees no visitors." Sheng'an's personal maid spoke in a flat, icy tone, already moving to shoo them away.
"One moment." Su Jing leaned in with a smile and whispered, "Please tell my sister that Cheng'an brings marvelous news—news that will cure half her illness just to hear it."
The maid relayed the message, skeptical, and to her surprise Sheng'an granted them entry.
They hadn't even reached the doorway when a crash rang out.
"Get out! Useless wretch—you can't even apply ointment properly! Should I break your fingers?!"
A small maid came stumbling out, sobbing, a red handprint glowing on her cheek.
Su Jing strolled inside. The room was in ruins—upended furniture, a bronze mirror flung onto the floor.
"What do you want?" Sheng'an snapped from behind her bed curtains.
"What's the matter, Sister? What illness is this?"
* * *
"After dinner last night, something disagreed with the princess. This morning she broke out in a terrible rash," a maid murmured.
"Enough chatter. What good news have you brought me?"
"It's a sensitive matter. Might we speak in private?"
Sheng'an's curiosity won. She waved the servants out.
"This had better be interesting, or I'll take my temper out on you." Sheng'an emerged from behind the curtains. Her face and neck were covered in clusters of angry red welts.
Su Jing lowered her head. "At the Mid-Autumn banquet, while changing my gown, I happened to meet General Wu Qi. He asked me to deliver a message to you, Sister."
"General Wu Qi?" Sheng'an's eyes lit up, her voice softening by several degrees.
Wu Qi was tall, striking—sharp brows, keen eyes—and his years on the frontier had given him a rugged edge that no pampered scholar could match. One glimpse at the last state banquet had been enough to steal Sheng'an's heart.
Unfortunately, her maternal family—the Minister of Personnel—and the Wu military clan had never seen eye to eye. On the court floor they were natural rivals, and the relationship was anything but warm.
"What message?"
Su Jing smiled, sly as a fox. "The General has been smitten with you since the moment he first saw you. He heard you adore blue, so he had this gown made specially—to win a single smile from you."
* * *
"He really said that?!" Sheng'an's pulse hammered. Her whole chest flooded with warmth.
Su Jing drew the blue gown from the false bottom of the food box—the very gown Wu Qi had sent her days ago.
Sheng'an snatched it and rushed to the inner chamber to change.
"Does it fit, Sister?"
"The General has such taste—it feels as though it were tailored just for me." Sheng'an emerged, beaming.
Of course it does. Su Jing bit her tongue. I had the matron alter it for days.
"The General also asks you to meet him at Jiayuan Temple on the eighth of next month. He says he has something he simply must tell you."
"I'm not sure I can…" Sheng'an's brow creased with hesitation.
Wu Qi was everything she wanted, and a temple rendezvous surely meant a declaration of love. But her mother would never approve. The two families were oil and water, blade and blade—a match between them was unthinkable.
"Sister, you must weigh this carefully. The General is an extraordinary man—young, accomplished, and just as taken with you as you are with him. To let court rivalries stand in the way would be a terrible waste." Su Jing pressed gently.
"What do you know? Marriage is never just between two people. The entanglements behind it—" Sheng'an's voice was sharp, but her resolve was already cracking.
"Dear Sister, when it comes to matters of the heart, shouldn't you think of yourself? How many princesses marry the man they truly love? Word is, Father is preparing to send one of us to the border for a marriage alliance. And the princesses of suitable age in this palace—how many are there?"
The words struck home. Sheng'an slammed her palm on the table. She would not be shipped off to some godforsaken frontier to marry a barbarian.
"Very well. I'll go. But it would be awkward to go alone…"
"I would be happy to accompany you, Sister. If we go together, fewer people will notice, and there will be no gossip." Su Jing winked.
"Perfect. It's settled." Sheng'an was already daydreaming about domestic bliss with Wu Qi, and for once, her gaze on Su Jing was almost fond.
"You've done well this time. Name your reward."
"If it please you, Sister—I would love that gold-and-jade butterfly hairpin you're wearing." Su Jing stood meekly by, eyes bright with anticipation.
"This old thing? I've worn it for years. If you want it, it's yours." Sheng'an pulled the pin from her hair and pressed it carelessly into Su Jing's hand.
Su Jing glowed, her smile radiant.