Jay's POV..
There are moments that don't start big.
They don't announce themselves.
They just… happen quietly.
And before you realize it, you're already inside them.
That night felt like that.
The house was unusually silent, almost like it was holding its breath. Keigan was out, Keiren had already gone to sleep, and for once, there were no interruptions waiting around the corner.
Just me.
And him.
I was sitting near the window in his room, knees pulled slightly to my chest, watching the city lights flicker in the distance. There was something calming about it. Something that made everything feel slower.
I didn't hear him come in.
But I felt it.
That shift in the air.
"Thinking too much again?" his voice came from behind me, low and familiar.
I didn't turn immediately. "Maybe."
A pause.
Then his footsteps, slow and unhurried, until he stopped right beside me.
"What is it this time?"
I exhaled softly, resting my chin on my knee. "Nothing."
"Jay."
That tone again.
Not demanding. Just… knowing.
I finally turned my head to look at him.
He was already looking at me.
Not casually. Not teasingly.
Just… looking.
And suddenly, I forgot what I was supposed to say.
"Why do you do that?" I asked quietly.
"Do what?"
"Look at me like that."
His lips curved slightly, but there was something softer behind it. "Like what?"
"Like you're trying to figure me out."
"I already did."
I frowned a little. "No, you didn't."
He stepped closer, one hand resting lightly against the wall near me, trapping me between him and the window without actually touching me.
"Yes," he said softly, his eyes not leaving mine, "I did."
My heartbeat picked up.
"Then tell me," I challenged, even though my voice didn't come out as steady as I wanted.
He leaned in slightly, close enough for me to feel his breath.
"You pretend to be stronger than you feel," he said quietly. "You overthink everything. You act like you don't care when you care too much. And you trust people more than you should."
I swallowed.
"Anything else?"
A small pause.
Then, softer, "You look at me like I'm something you're still deciding."
That made my chest tighten.
"I'm not deciding," I whispered.
"Then what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to understand you."
For a second, something flickered in his eyes.
Gone almost instantly.
"Bad idea," he murmured.
"Why?"
"Because you won't like everything you find."
I held his gaze. "That's my decision."
Silence.
But not the empty kind.
The kind that feels full of something you can't say out loud.
And then...
Without thinking....
I reached for him.
My fingers curled slightl into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him just a little closer.
His breath hitched.
Just for a second.
But I notice
And so did he.
"Jay…" his voice droppd, lower than before, warning laced through it.
But I didn't let go.
"Don't," he said softly.
"Don't what?"
"Do this if you don't understand what it means."
My heart was racing now.
"I do understand."
"You don't"
His hand came up, gripping my wrist gently but firmly, stopping me from pulling him closer.
"You think you do," he continued, his voice controlled, "but you don't know where I stop."
"Then show me."
The words slipped out before I could stop them.
And the second they did..
Everything changed.
His grip tightened slightly.
Not enough to hurt.
Just enough to make me realize.
"You shouldn't have said that," he said quietly.smirking.
But his eyes..
They weren't calm anymore.
They were darker.
The same way they had been that morning.
And yet… different.
This wasn't distance.
This was something dangerously close.
My breath caught as he stepped even closer, the space between us disappearing completely.
"Say it again," he murmured.
I should've stopped.
I knew I should've.
But I didn't.
"Show me."
That was it.
That was the moment everything almost crossed a line we couldn't come back from.
His hand moved from my wrist to my waist, pulling me against him in one swift motion.
My heart slammed against my chest.
His other hand came up, tilting my chin slightly so I had no choice but to look at him.
"Jay," he said, his voice barely above a whisper now, "you don't get to challenge me like that and expect me to stay calm."
"I'm not asking you to stay calm."
That was my mistake.
Because something in him snapped.
Not completely.
Just enough.
He closed the distance.
His lips brushed mine.
Not soft.
Not teasing.
Real.
And for a second.
I forgot everything.
The world, the room, the silence.
Everything faded.
It was just him.
And the way he held me like I mattered too much.
Like he was trying to control something he didn't want to lose.
But then.
He stopped.
Abruptly.
Like he forced himself to.
He pulled back just enough, his forehead resting against mine, his breathing uneven.
"Enough," he said, more to himself than to me.
I blinked, still trying to catch my breath.
"Why did you stop?"
A pause.
A long one.
"Because I don't want to be someone you regret."
That hit harder than I expected.
"I wouldn't.."
"You don't know that," he cut in, his voice calmer now, but still strained. "And I'm not taking that risk i will try to control myself remember my promise to Angelo??"
His hand loosened around my waist, but he didn't fully let go.
Not yet.
"I don't lose control, Jay."
I looked at him quietly.
"Then what was that?"
Another pause.
His jaw tightened slightly.
"That," he said slowly, "was a mistake."
Something in my chest sank.
But before I could say anything..
His hand came up, brushing a strand of hair away from my face, his touch unexpectedly gentle.
"But it won't happen again."
I didn't know why…
But that didn't feel like a promise.
It felt like a lie he was telling himself.
He stepped back completely this time, putting distance between us.
And suddenly, the room felt colder.
"Get some sleep," he said, his voice back to normal.
Like nothing had just happened.
Like I hadn't just seen a side of him he tried so hard to keep hidden.
I nodded slowly.
But I didn't move.
And neither did he.
For a moment, we just stood there, looking at each other.
Something unspoken hanging between us.
Something we both felt.
But neither of us said.
We slept on the bed cuddling Asusal., my heart still racing, one thought stayed with m..
He lost control.
Just for a second.
And somehow…
That scared me more than anything...