[Allen the Alien's POV]
I opened my single eye and instantly regretted it.
An overwhelming, searing itch burned deep within my optic nerve, accompanied by a phantom ache that made my entire skull throb. The last thing I remembered was floating in the cold vacuum of space, cracking a joke to Omni-Man. Then, without a single word of warning, his fist had driven straight through my face.
The memory of the squelching crunch of my own eye being pulverized sent a fresh wave of panic through my chest.
The terror of being completely outclassed in a fraction of a second made my heart hammer against my ribs.
I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my blurry vision.
I wasn't in space anymore; instead, I was suspended in a viscous, brightly glowing green liquid. The fluid was thick enough that I could barely see the outlines of the room outside my confinement.
I was trapped like a specimen in a tube.
I urgently needed to report back to the Coalition of Planets. The Great Thaedus needed to know that Earth's champion had gone completely feral.
I also needed to see Telia. She was going to be so furious with me for missing our date.
Operating on Unopan instinct, I balled my fists. My limbs felt wobbly and weak, but I swung anyway.
CRASH!
The thick glass of the pod shattered outward. The green liquid spilled across the floor in a massive wave. I tumbled out, coughing violently and gasping for air as my knees buckled, sending me crashing onto the cold tiles.
Two heavy, surprisingly similar voices yelled out in shock from across the room.
"Look what you did, you botched duplicate!" one voice bellowed. "I specifically told you to use the reinforced polymer for the goddamn tank! But no, the clone always knows best!"
I looked up, my vision still swimming, trying to make out the blurry presence of two hulking, blue-skinned humanoids.
"Me?!" The other voice shot back immediately. "I am the original faker! Look at your head, you're clearly number two! And you're the one who miscalculated the fluid density! "
Prisoners? Scientists? I couldn't let them keep me here.
I forced myself up, lunging forward with a shaky roar. I tackled the nearest blue man, wrapping my arm around his thick neck in a desperate chokehold.
"Stand down!" I yelled in a raspy voice. "Don't make any sudden movements if you value his life!"
The other blue man didn't freeze or raise his hands like I expected him to. Instead, he burst into a booming, belly-shaking laugh. He laughed so hard he literally had to wipe a tear from his eye.
"Me? Value his life? Oh, please, go right ahead!" the second blue man wheezed. "Snap his neck! You'd be saving me the trouble of recycling his defective biomass! My god, Mr. Kaisen never told me how funny this orange guy would be!"
I groaned in frustration and tightened my grip. My vision finally cleared enough to make out a distinct Roman numeral 'I' written onto the forehead of the blue man standing in front of me.
"I am not joking here!" I yelled. "Tell me who you guys are and where I am!"
The blue man currently trapped in my arms, the one with the 'II' on his forehead, let out an annoyed sigh. "And you'll do what exactly? Fly back up into orbit just to get ham-fisted by the big 'O' again? Relax, tough guy. We're the ones who scooped your brains back into your skull."
"I am the Champion Evaluation Officer for the Coalition of Planets!" I declared, puffing out my chest as best I could while holding a hostage. "I am tasked with testing planetary defenders against Viltrumite threats! I demand to meet whoever is in charge here!"
The Mauler with the 'I' on his forehead mocked me. "Oh, and what makes you think I'm not the one in charge—"
TWANG.
A strange sound echoed through the sterile lab as a wooden door fitted with paper panels slid open, appearing quite literally out of thin air.
"Hey, Maulers. That is no way to treat our guest," a calm voice called out.
I dropped the blue man and turned around.
Standing in the doorway was a human, but something was different about him. He had piercing blue eyes that looked like a deep nebula, blonde hair like a sun flare, and wore pristine Earth clothes. He carried an air of authority that felt remarkably similar to the Coalition Councilmen back on Talescria.
"It is good to see you finally up and energetic, Mr Allen," the man smiled warmly, pulling a clean white towel from his inventory space and tossing it directly into my hands.
"Oh, where are my manners? Let me introduce myself. I am John… John Kaisen."
[John Kaisen's POV]
I watched the orange alien furiously rub the neon green stasis fluid out of his single eye, my mind briefly wandering back to the chaos of the past.
It had been nearly a week since that disastrous sidekick rendezvous in Midnight City.
The night I found Allen the Alien crashed in an industrial lot, his body burned from atmospheric re-entry and a fist-sized hole punched straight through his eye, I knew exactly what had happened.
Nolan must've snapped.
I quickly had Nakime portal Allen directly to the Mauler twins' lab and ordered them to stabilize the Unopan immediately.
I could have easily used the massive windfall of cash from Cecil—the billion dollars that arrived just a day after my little extortion stunt with the sidekicks. Nakime had even suggested I use Greedy Healing to fully restore him, given that she now understood how important Allen was in the grand scheme of fighting the Viltrumites.
But I denied her request. I only used ten million dollars' worth of gold to stabilize his vitals and stop the bleeding.
Allen's entire gimmick was his reactive evolution.
His natural adaptability was his greatest weapon, and I feared that if I instantly healed him, his body's natural adaptation process would falter, and he wouldn't get the massive power boost needed to actually survive a fight against a Viltrumite.
He needed to heal the hard way to get stronger.
[Feat Achieved! Save Allen the Alien]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
And now a week later, here we were.
[ In another Urgent News, Pepsi-Man saves the day again after cooling down a volcanic eruption by…. you guessed it, Pepsi! He's quickly becoming a fan favourite in polls, leaving behind...]
I switched off the flat-screen I had the Maulers install. Things seems to be going well for somebody at least.
Allen was sitting comfortably on a plush sofa in the corner of the lab, a thick wool blanket covering his nethers, happily sipping on a mug of hot cocoa near a space heater.
"Wow, what is this drink?" Allen asked, his single eye widening in delight as he took another loud slurp. "This 'hot cocoa'... it's almost as good as Kanzlok. A little heavy on the marshmallows, but I respect the aesthetic."
"Allen-san, we have some questions for you," Nakime asked softly, standing dutifully by my side. "When we found you, it was clear you had been brutally manhandled. We doubt it was Nolan who did this to you?" She tilted her head, her single eye blinking with curiosity.
Allen paused mid-sip. "Humans have cyclops? Wait... Nolan?"
Mauler I leaned against a nearby console, chiming in. "Yeah, big guy. About six-foot-two, graying temples, perfect mustache, piercing blue eyes, and a body sculpted like a Greek god as if … he'd been chiseled out of marble?"
I quickly coughed into my fist to stop the Mauler from sounding like he was writing an Omni-Man smut fanfiction.
"Wait, mustache? You mean Omni-Man? Your Urath's Champion?" Allen asked, his eye blinking in confusion.
"It's Earth, not Urath, you illiterate orange dipshit. Get it right," Mauler II muttered, serving a cup of hot cocoa for Nakime.
"What? But I was sent to Urath to check for Viltrumite presence and..." Allen trailed off, looking perplexed as if pieces of truth finally clicked into place of misunderstanding. "I fought him! We talked! He seemed like a really reasonable, buff Urathan!"
Mauler I burst out laughing. "Buddy, Omni-Man has been on Earth for twenty years! He is the Viltrumite presence!"
Allen looked utterly dismayed, his hands gripping the mug tightly. "But... but I tested him so many times! He... he was a Viltrumite this whole time?!"
I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a massive migraine building. "Goddamn it, Allen! Your whole species was nearly wiped out because of them! How can you not recognize one when you've been fighting him for years?!"
Allen looked down at his hot cocoa, looking incredibly defensive. "Hey, you try telling billions of bi-clops apart!"
He squinted his massive single eye defensively, raising a thick orange finger and pointing back and forth between the two hulking, blue-skinned Mauler Twins.
"You all have the exact same face! Two eyes, one nose, a mouth... it gets confusing, okay?!"
There was a deafening silence in the lab as we heard the ding of the microwave where another cup of coco was heating up.
It was immediately broken by the Mauler twins bursting into roaring laughter. They both walked over and slapped the alien on his broad shoulders.
"Mr. Kaisen, where did you even get this guy from?" Mauler I wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye. "He's functionally blind even with the giant eyeball!"
"Seriously! This guy's racist humor is totally wack! I may even clone him to keep as a friend." Mauler II added.
"Alright, don't get your panties wet," I sighed, raising a hand to quiet them down.
I faced the Unopan. "Mr. Allen, I apologize for my outburst. But you need to understand how dangerous a Viltrumite is to our planet. Especially one who'll do anything to hunt me down."
"Yeah, they are dangerous to all life," Allen nodded, his expression turning serious. "But why is Omni... Nolan... after you specifically?"
"Because I know a secret," I said smoothly, leaning against the sofa. "A secret that, if it got out, the Viltrum Empire would send their entire armada to silence me."
"Wait, you can't be serious. Is there really such a secret?" Allen leaned forward, his eye wide. "The Great Thaedus needs to know about this!"
"I can share the secret with the Coalition as a token of good faith," I offered. "But I need something in return."
"Well, all my communication devices were destroyed back when Nolan... fisted me," Allen said absentmindedly.
The Mauler twins immediately started snickering like schoolboys at the accidental double entendre.
"Then we will need to hammer out a formal deal with the Coalition when you return with a communication device," I nodded.
I gestured to Nakime. She walked over and handed Allen a simple, freshly tailored orange and white jumpsuit, perfectly matching the design of his previous Coalition uniform.
"Here," I said. "I had the best at the GDA make this for you."
"Thanks, man… uh, Mr Kaisen," Allen grinned, pulling the suit over his massive frame. "It is a bit weird being naked in front of anyone except my girlfriend."
After a few hours of recovering, the sharp TWANG of Nakime's biwa rang out.
My crew and I stepped through the tatami gate, emerging onto a grassy hill under the clear night sky of Chicago.
Allen, now fully dressed in his new suit, looked at me and cracked a joke about Earth's gravity.
He then turned to Nakime, smoothly taking her hand and pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles.
"I must say, I have never seen a more beautiful cyclops than you, my dear," Allen flirted, giving her a charming wink.
Nakime immediately pulled her hand back, extending the nails of her other hand to tear the skin off her hands, and looked greatly offended.
Her single eye was utterly disgusted by the gesture. She stepped behind me, maintaining her professional distance.
Allen, shocked and embarrassed just floated up a few feet into the air, waving his hand cheerfully. "I will be back as soon as I can, Mr Kaisen! We can finally discuss your deal with the Coalition!"
With a burst of speed, he shot straight up into the atmosphere, disappearing into the Full Moon.
I turned around, only to find both the Mauler twins and Nakime looking oddly downcast.
"What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
The Maulers spoke, completing each other's sentences flawlessly. "It's just that, Boss..."
"… We really hit it off with that guy."
"Yeah, he really got our style of humor."
"A real shame he works for the space cops." They sighed in unison.
I snorted at their antics and looked at Nakime. "And you? Don't tell me his terrible flirting actually worked?" I teased.
She quickly shook her head, her face flushing slightly. "Please do not joke, Master. My heart could never waver from you. But... he was someone who looked like..." She pointed hesitantly at her single, large eye.
I smiled softly, wanting to step forward and comfort her.
Then, the crickets completely stopped chirping.
A suffocating silence fell over the Chicago night in a fraction of a second.
BOOOOOOM!
A deafening sonic boom shattered the peaceful night as a blur of orange shot down from the sky at untraceable speeds.
It slammed directly into the grassy ground a few dozen yards away from us.
The impact caused a massive tremor, nearly knocking the Maulers off their feet as a massive dust cloud plumed into the air as a spiderweb of deep cracks formed all across the hill.
When the dust settled slightly.
My heart hitched.
It was Allen.
He was lying in the center of the crater. But there was a gaping, bloody hole that had been punched completely through the side of his stomach. Intestines and bright red blood spilt onto the torn grass.
A shadow fell over the crater.
A voice boomed from the sky above us.
It wasn't the regal tone of Omni-Man. It was something far, far worse. It was a voice dripping with manic arrogance, age and centuries of unquestioned slaughter.
"Get ready for my arrival, worm."
We looked up. Floating lazily above the crater was an old man. He had a thick white moustache, a dead right eye with a scar running down it and a bulky prosthetic gauntlet replacing his right arm.
He wore a pristine white and gray suit, with a three-line logo of the Viltrum Empire.
I found myself standing face-to-face with the most unhinged, and bloodthirsty Viltrumite in the entire goddamn species.
A cold sweat broke out as I felt the air leave my lungs.
"Is that... is that motherfucking Conquest?!" I whispered in paralyzing horror.
[A/N]: What say, we start this week with a bang with this extra-length chapter and blast up the rankings? So Drop Them Stones!!
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