Chapter 6
Laurel pov
The house felt… different when I got back.
Quieter.
But not in the way I liked.
I dropped my keys on the table and stood there for a moment.
Nothing was out of place.
Everything was exactly how I left it.
And yet, Something was missing.
I exhaled slowly, brushing it off.
Unnecessary thoughts and unnecessary feelings.
I had work to do.
Days turned into weeks.
Weeks into months.
And before I realized it, Six months had passed.
The project progressed exactly as expected.
Structured.
Disciplined.
Efficient.
And supervising the oil production at Fairing.
No delays.
No excuses.
And Seo-hee…
She stayed.
Not loudly.
Not forcefully.
Just… consistently.
She stopped asking too many questions.
But she didn't leave either.
She learned, adapted and also stayed within boundaries I never clearly defined, But somehow, she understood them anyway… or so I thought.
We worked together.
Ate together sometimes.
Walked out of lectures side by side.
Silences between us became… normal.
Comfortable, even.
But I never said it.
Never acknowledged it.
Never gave it a name.
Because once you name something, It becomes real.
And I don't do "real."
That day, the weather was clear.
Cold enough for ice skating.
Perfect for distractions.
My school project members dragged me out again.
"This one is different!" Ivan said.
"You'll actually like it."
"I doubt that."
"It's not a request," George added.
Of course it wasn't.
Before I knew it, they had already handed me the shoes
The ones with the rolling base
Made for sliding across the ice.
"This is unnecessary," I said.
"You say that about everything," Seo-hee replied lightly.
There were people everywhere.
Students.
Groups.
Laughter echoing across the ice.
Falling. Sliding. Shouting.
Noise.
Too much noise.
And yet,
I stayed.
At some point, I found myself standing still while the others moved ahead.
Watching.
Listening.
Existing… just outside the moment.
Seo-hee came back to me.
Of course she did.
"You're not even trying," she said, slightly out of breath.
"I don't need to."
She smiled faintly.
"You always say that."
A pause.
Then, she looked at me differently this time.
Not playful.
Not teasing.
Just… curious.
"Can I ask you something?"
"No."i said
She ignored that.
Of course.
"My mom…" she started, then hesitated.
I didn't respond.
Didn't encourage it.
But she continued anyway.
"She wants to meet you, Laurel," she said quietly.
"I know it might look like there shouldn't be a reason for that, but she's controlling. Caring, but in a way that feels like you can't breathe."
I stayed silent.
"But she still loves me," she added quickly.
"And my family… they show it, even if it's messy."
I looked at her briefly.
Then away.
She hesitated again.
Then asked,"What about yours?" she asked softly, her voice almost trembling.
Silence.
I kept walking.
She followed.
"Laurel…" she called gently.
"You never talk about them."
I didn't respond.
But she didn't stop.
"I just…" she continued, a little faster now,
"I want to know who I call my best friend."
"I just want to understand you better."
I stopped walking.
She almost ran into me.
There were people around us.
Our group not too far.
Watching.
Listening.
I turned slowly.
Looked straight at her.
And for the first time in a long time, I didn't hold back.
She took a small step forward.
Her voice softer now.
Careful.
But still honest.
"Is it a bad thing… just to know you, Laurel?"
"Stop it, Seo-hee," I said, turning, trying to get off the ice as soon as I could.
But she didn't.
She followed me, her steps uneven on the ice, her voice stronger this time.
"Why are you so scared, Laurel?" she asked.
"What are you so afraid of?"
I kept moving.
"It's painful to watch," she continued, her voice rising,
"seeing myself enjoy life… while you can't. I want you to live a normal life too, Laurel. As my best friend."
I stopped.
Turned back.
"Stop with this thing called best friend," I said.
The words came out sharper than I intended.
"You're not my friend."
Her face fell instantly.
"How could you say that?" she whispered.
I looked away, trying to step off the ice.
Too many people.
Too much attention.
I didn't want this here.
"WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?"
Her voice echoed.
And something in me snapped.
"Mean?"
I turned back slowly.
My voice cracked before I could stop it.
"Who told you I was mean?"
Silence fell around us.
Our group now closer to us.
Watching.
Listening.
"Is that what you all think of me now?"
No one answered.
No one moved.
"You don't get to say that," I continued, my voice lower now—but shaking.
"You don't get to stand there and tell me who I am."
I let out a breath.
And then,
I stopped holding back.
"You want to know more about me?"
I laughed.
A dry, empty sound.
"I'm a girl who never had a father."
My voice steadied but my chest felt tight.
"He died in a war before I was even born."
A pause.
"And my mother?"
I swallowed.
"She died giving birth to me."
I looked straight at her.
"I didn't even get the chance to know what her smile looked like."
Silence.
Heavy.
Uncomfortable.
"I spent my first few years in an orphanage," I continued.
"Have you ever been in one?"
I shook my head before she could answer.
"No. Of course not. You have a mother who loves you".
I did as well,the only difference was that death took her fast that she wasn't able to show that love to me."
"You had parents. A family. Love."
My voice hardened.
"I didn't."
"I was adopted by a white family."
For a second, My lips almost curved.
"I thought… that was it."
"I thought I finally had a home."
My eyes darkened.
"But then she got pregnant."
Everything inside me tightened.
"And suddenly… I wasn't a child anymore."
"I woke up early every day. Not because I wanted to but because I had to."
"Cleaning. Washing. Cooking."
"Doing everything."
"But you had maids doing all that for you. They drove you to school, prepared your breakfast, and did all you wanted them to do."
"I wasn't a daughter."
"I was more like a maid."
My voice dropped.
"I didn't sit at the table with them."
"They need to eat first."
"And I ate whatever was left."
I laughed again.
"You know what a family feels like."
"I don't."
"At twelve… I stopped going to school."
I could feel my hands shaking now, while tears flowed like a river on Seo-hee's face.
"They said they needed to save for my siblings."
"But those same siblings…"
My voice softened.
"They loved me."
"They would usually keep pizza in their drawer to hide when I was working so I could eat afterward."
"They shared their books."
"Drew with me."
"They were the only ones who saw me."
Silence.
"And then one day…"
I exhaled slowly.
"They fought for me."
"They told their parents I deserved better."
"For the first time… I thought maybe things would change."
I closed my eyes briefly.
"We went out. As a family."
"An amusement park."
A small pause.
Then "I told them to stop the car."
My voice dropped to almost a whisper.
"I needed to use the restroom, I said."
I looked at Seo-hee again.
"You want to know what happened next?"
"My family died."
"Just after everything changed."
"A truck hit the car."
"I watched it flip."
"Again and again and again and again."
I watched my favorite people, the ones who made life meaningful for me, lie in a pool of blood.
My hand moved unconsciously to my chest.
"This?" I said quietly.
"This mark?"
"A piece of metal went straight through me."
"I saw my sister's hand outside the car."
"My brother…"
My voice broke.
"I couldn't do anything."
Silence.
"So don't stand there"
My voice rose again, shaking now
"and tell me you are the reason why it happened!"
"Because if I didn't ask to use the restroom…"
I swallowed hard.
"They would still be alive."
Silence.
Complete.
Crushing.
I looked at her one last time.
I took a deep sigh.
Cold.
Final.
"I don't want to be your friend."
"I never did."
"And I never will."
She didn't say anything.
She just… turned.
And ran.
Ivan…"
I heard his voice faintly.
"Laurel, are you—"
"Fine?" I cut in.
A hollow smile formed.
"There's nothing like 'fine' in a world like mine."
And then I walked away.
I didn't stop.
Didn't look back.
I just drove.
Because staying,
Would have meant feeling everything.
And I couldn't afford that.
The next day the room was already half full when I walked in.
And yet,
It felt empty.
Not the kind of empty that came from silence…
but the kind that came from things left unsaid.
Chairs scraped lightly against the floor.
Pages flipped.
Pens tapped.
Too loud.
Too careful.
They noticed me.
Of course they did.
Conversations that had been barely alive moments ago died completely as I stepped further in. Eyes flickered up then away just as quickly.
Like looking at me for too long might expose something.
Or remind them of something they didn't want to think about.
Good.
That made things easier.
I dropped my bag on the table and pulled out my notebook, flipping it open with practiced ease.
"Let's begin," I said.
No greeting.
No delay.
Just work.
They responded immediately.
Like they had been waiting for an order just to avoid speaking about anything else.
"I reviewed the reservoir data," Ivan said, not looking at anyone in particular. "We might need to adjust the pressure estimates."
"We can run another simulation," Mu Chen added almost instantly.
"I'll handle that," Timothy said.
One after the other.
No pauses.
No overlap.
I listened.
Nodded when necessary.
Corrected where needed.
Everything was… efficient.
Perfectly structured.
Exactly how I liked it.
My pen stopped for a fraction of a second.
I felt it before I saw her.
That presence.
Quieter than before.
Still.
I didn't look.
Didn't need to.
"Seo-hee," I said, my voice even. "You'll handle documentation and reporting. Make sure everything is submitted on time."
A pause.
Small.
Barely noticeable.
"…Okay," she replied.
Soft.
Careful.
Not the same.
That will be all for today, i said as i carried my laptop and my bag heading out.
Timothy followed immediately,
"Laurel" I heard " yes, something you don't understand ?I asked" why trying to grab my car keys.
" I wanna talk about SEO hee"he said," what is there to talk about?" I asked," you guys are really good friend, and from what I see she is probably hurting as well and maybe you might have gone a little to harsh on her".
" Firstly" i said "we aren't friends, the only reason why she might have been so delusional is because I allowed her to feel like she is my friend, i didn't correct because i thought she was just been naive and because I am her brother friend . if there is nothing else important will like to take my leave.
" Oh that is all ", "bye" i said and walked away.
Day's turn into week but still the awkwardness has no where to go.
She is more withdrawn and talk less, like the shining star is finally dimming.
I wanted to talk to her but that will be giving her the wrong idea of being able to give her what she wants.
I can't afford whatever she wants, because it will only break me more and if I should break again, there will be nothing to fight for.
The lecture was to see the progress of each group, but seo hee isn't there.
I wanted to call but I stopped. "Why should I care"? I said "she has been skipping lots of classes this week".
"Do you hear from seo hee?" Ivan asked "No" I Said, and started grabbing my things.
"I saw her in school today. Why didn't she attend the lecture?"he said.
"Don't you have her line?' I asked "yes, i do" he replied "then call her if you care so much".
After that, I went to the cafe to get some things to eat. All of a sudden, I heard a rush, a noise that makes people curious about whatever is going on.
While eating I heard two ladies rushing while they were eating, saying today is gonna be a long day.
"What happened?" her friends asked,
She said " the paradoxes are disciplining a girl, words say she was rude to the leader".
They continue "oh she is gonna be in a lot of trouble right now, they won't stop until she hits her rock bottom throughout the remaining 4 years".
The other girls replied, *what do you mean 4 years?, she is a final year student, one of the department that were asked to join the petroleum engineering faculty for onsite experience".
Really the other girl said, "do I know know her? and by the way what kind of stunts are they pulling on the poor girl?".
Then friend her reply," she was to stand in the pool for over 4 hours and it is filled with ice, it doesn't seem like she knows how to swim".
" Gosh, this is a university, not high school, why is this bizarre thing still good on? she said.
"I think you know the girl", "Really" her other friend said. "Yes she was the one who borrow us her laptop the other day saying, when we get to petroleum engineering faculty, we should asked of group B in final year".
"Group B", I said to myself.
" We are only two girls in group B". I turned to the girls and said "Sorry for interrupting but please the girl you are talking about, is she perhaps Asian?", "yes" they said.
My chest tightened instantly.
Before I could think
I turned and ran.
The pool area was chaotic.
Not loud chaos.
Something Worse.
The kind where people stand back.
Watching.
Whispering and doing nothing.
My eyes scanned once,
Then she saw her.
Seo-hee.
In the water, struggling and drowning.
Everything inside me went silent.
Then,
I moved fast without hesitation.
I dove in.
The cold hit me like glass, but I didn't feel it.
All I saw was Seo-hee sinking.
Again.
Again.
I reached her, grabbing her hard, pulling her up.
"Seo-hee!"
No response.
My heart slammed violently against my chest.
No.
No no no.
Not again.
I dragged her out of the pool with force, water spilling everywhere.
People stepped back.
Still watching and being useless.
I dropped to her knees.
"Stay with me," I said, my voice breaking.
My hands shook as I held Seo-hee's face.
"Please… stay with me."
Her breathing hitched.
"I can't lose you too."
But still No movement.
No response.
"Seo-hee!"
Laurel pressed her hands down, starting CPR, her movements rough, desperate, uneven.
"Breathe!"
Again.
Again.
Again
"Come on!"
My voice cracked completely now.
"Don't do this to me"
Then
A cough.
Water spilled from Seo-hee's mouth.
Her body jerked.
Air rushed back into her lungs.
l froze.
Then grabbed her again.
"Seo-hee!"
My voice was sharp now, almost angry
"Are you dumb?!"
Tears mixed blurred my vision.
"Why would you let anyone treat you like this, why didn't you call me?!"
"You could have died, idiot!"
My hands were still shaking.
Still holding her.
Like if I let go
She might disappear.
Sirens echoed in the distance.
Ambulance.
Finally,
Only then did I look up.
At the crowd.
At the ones who stood there.
Watching.
At the bastard who called themselves paradoxes.
My eyes went cold.
Completely cold.
With a hint of a smile on my face.
No shouting.
No scene.
Just one quiet sentence.
"You chose the wrong target, this time."
And somehow
That felt worse.