Chapter 256: Shit Escape is Absolutely Impossible
"What? Go through the toilet?" Aaron stared at Bard with wide eyes. "I wouldn't agree even if you killed me. I've never been this humiliated in my life."
A 'poo-vasion'—how did you even come up with that?
Although he wasn't from this world, if he did something like that, going to the toilet would be a nightmare forever.
The Dwarves also glared, extremely unwilling. If this got out, their lifelong reputation would be ruined. How would they ever live it down?
"That's the safest route. No one would ever think of it," Bardsaid with a forced smile. "And don't misunderstand, our toilet goes straight to the lake below; it's not dirty at all."
"That's still not happening!" Aaron said indignantly.
"Alright!" Bard spread his hands helplessly. "You can go to my house openly, then be discovered by the watchers, and then by the Master.
I don't care; at worst, I'll get beaten up, or in a worse case, locked up for a while. But you'll definitely be captured and sent to Mirkwood to curry favor."
Hearing this, Thorin remained silent for a long time before speaking: "We agree."
"Thorin!" Dwalin was utterly bewildered, looking at him in disbelief. "You, you can't..."
"Why can't I?" Thorin retorted. "Is this journey more important, or is a little self-respect more important?
We're running out of time and can't afford any mishaps. If we miss this chance, we might not get another."
Hearing this, the Dwarves could only reluctantly accept this route. After all, personal honor and the rebuilding of the Dwarf kingdom held no comparison.
"If you're going, you go. I absolutely, absolutely, absolutely will not take that path," Aaron said with extreme disgust. "I'd rather die, die outside, jump from here, than learn the 'poo-vasion' method."
"Aaron, just bear with it; it'll be over soon," Bilbo patiently advised.
"No need to persuade me. The Elf Prince and I have some dealings; nothing will happen to me even if I'm caught."
"But this isn't just about you!" Balin said in a deep voice. "We are a team. If you're exposed, we naturally won't be able to escape either."
"Gaius," Thorin looked at him deeply. "Don't forget the contract you signed. This is no time for impulsive actions."
"You..." Aaron laughed in exasperation. "Alright! Since it's come to this, I'll stop pretending.
Yes, I am a Wizard. magic can help me avoid the sight of ordinary people, so I won't hold the team back."
"But you don't even have your wand," Bilbo said weakly.
Aaron glared at him fiercely. Why hadn't he noticed how talkative Bilbo was before?
"Are you confident?" Thorin asked seriously.
"I'm absolutely confident."
"Then can you help us too...?" Dwalin asked eagerly, a glimmer of light seemingly appearing in his eyes.
Hearing this, Aaron gave him a gentle smile. "I'm sorry, you might be disappointed, but I'm not that powerful yet."
I *am* that powerful; casting a Disillusionment Charm on a dozen people isn't impossible, but who told you to force me into a 'poo-vasion'?
Not very harmful, but extremely insulting.
Dwalin and the others showed a hint of embarrassment on their faces and no longer pressed the issue.
"Have you discussed it?" Bard asked. "If you have, follow me."
He led everyone down a narrow path, but just as they turned a corner, they ran into a young boy.
"Dad, our house is being watched."
"Your son?" Aaron sized up the boy, estimating him to be a few years older than himself.
Bard nodded, then looked at his son. "Don't worry, Bain.
You stay here with Gaius. I'll guide the others to their route and be back soon."
With that, Bard led the others through the streets and alleys, telling them the location of his house, emphasizing the toilet's markings, for fear they would enter the wrong place.
After returning, he saw Aaron questioning his son about everything: age, education, and living conditions; nothing was spared.
"Ahem! We should get going. How do you plan to get to my house?" Bard asked. "If you've changed your mind now, I can take you again."
"No need." Aaron snapped his fingers, and his body instantly became transparent.
Bard was alright; although inwardly shocked, his expression remained relatively calm.
Bain, however, was dumbfounded, trembling as he pointed to the transparent area in front. "Dad, Dad, Dad, did you see that?
He's invisible? He's really invisible!"
"I saw him. I'm not blind yet."
"A simple, unadorned Disillusionment Charm," Aaron said lightly. "Now you can confidently lead the way."
Bard and Bain exchanged glances and silently walked out of the alley.
To avoid the watchers noticing the time discrepancy, they deliberately circled through the market, buying some useful items as a cover.
Nearing the house, the three ascended the stairs.
Bard tossed a fruit to the two people fishing below his house. "You can tell the Master that I've finished all my work for today."
A little girl, seeing Bard enter, joyfully hugged him. "Dad, where have you been?"
Another older girl also gave him a hug. "Father, you're back. I was so worried."
"Here, Sigrid," Bard said with a smile, handing her the things he had bought from the market.
"What a harmonious family!" Aaron said with emotion.
"Who's talking?" The eldest daughter, Sigrid, looked around in surprise.
"It's, it's a Wizard, yes, a Wizard," Bain said with certainty, then looked beside him. "Gaius, show them."
Aaron shrugged, then dispelled the Disillusionment Charm.
The eldest daughter, Sigrid, seeing Aaron, couldn't help but widen her eyes. It was the first time she had seen such a handsome man in her life.
"It really is a Wizard!" The younger daughter curiously examined Aaron. "Can you teach me magic?"
"Uh... that depends on talent. Some things you can't learn just because you want to," Aaron said tactfully. Wizards were still quite rare in this world, and this family had no Wizardbloodline at all.
"Bain, let them in."
"I'll go too." Aaron was full of interest. "Where's your toilet?"
"Follow me!" Bain shrugged and led Aaron down the stairs.
He looked at the unobstructed lake in front, and after confirming no one was watching, he knocked on the wooden board on the wall.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
A bald head emerged from the toilet. Dwalin looked at Bainvery seriously, warning, "If you tell anyone about this, I'll twist off your arm."
Aaron looked at Dwalin's darkened face and couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"You dare to laugh?" Dwalin's face grew even darker. "And you, if you dare to speak of this, I will definitely pull out your tongue."
"Hahahaha..." Aaron clutched his stomach. "My sincerest apologies. I've also undergone strict training; no matter how funny it is, I won't laugh, unless I can't help it.
Also, I admire your attitude, but unfortunately, you can't beat me, hahahaha..."
Dwalin's eyes blazed with anger. He glared fiercely at Aaron, then lifted the toilet lid and climbed out of the lake.
Bain tried to help him, but Dwalin slapped his left hand away. "Don't touch me."
"Go up that way," Bain pointed to the stairs, then pulled Bilbo out of the toilet, followed by the third, the fourth... Each person who emerged was stabbed by Aaron's undisguised laughter, until the last one, when Aaronforcibly held back his laughter.
Kili had managed to hold on until now, which was quite difficult. If this wave of mockery caused him to become agitated, the poison might spread even faster.
"Dad, why are these Dwarves climbing out of our toilet?" Sigrid asked.
"That was a perfectly timed jab," Aaron thought to himself. He had clearly felt Kili stumble just now, undoubtedly a critical hit to his heart.
"Will they bring us good luck?" The younger daughter asked somewhat happily.
"Not necessarily," Aaron patted her head and placed a gold coin in her pocket. "But I will bring you good luck.
Keep it safe; it's your pocket money from your big brother."
After everyone came out, they gathered around the fireplace.
It was almost winter, and they had been soaking in the cold lake water for nearly half an hour, shivering from the cold.
Bard distributed the blankets from his house and his clothes, and the three siblings even poured everyone a cup of hot water to warm themselves.
Sigrid handed a cup of water to Aaron. "Do you need this?"
"Thanks, but I don't need the water; just the cup will do," Aaron said, taking out his bottle of wine. "I have this."
Aaron opened the wine bottle and poured a full cup. The rich aroma immediately filled the room.
"Wine," Oin murmured. The others also fixed their gaze on the wine bottle, the sound of swallowing saliva rising and falling.
"Hey, hey, hey, can you show some manners?" Aaron glanced disdainfully at everyone, then raised the glass and took a big gulp. "It tastes good, better than the wine Bilbo brews."
"Why does this look like a key?" Bain asked, looking at the cork, puzzled.
"Ahem!" Aaron nearly spat out the half-drunk wine. "Don't mind those details. If you want it, it's yours. If not, just throw it away."
Bain paused, picked up the cork, and threw it into the fireplace, adding a touch of warmth to the house.
"Dwarven ballista." Thorin stared blankly at a dilapidated tall tower outside the window. On top of the tower was a large ballista.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Bilbo said.
"Indeed," Balin explained. "The last time we saw such a ballista, the town was ablaze with signal fires.
On the day the Dragon came, the day Smaug destroyed Lake-town, Master Girion of Lake-town gathered his archers to collectively attack the Dragon.
But the Dragon's scales were incredibly hard, harder than the strongest armor. Only the Black Arrow fired from a ballista could penetrate the Dragon's hide, but such arrows were very rare.
When Girion launched his final attack, there were very few of these arrows left."
"If Girion had really hit the Dragon that day, everything would have been different," Thorin said regretfully.
"Sounds like you were there," Bard said, walking over.
"Perhaps he really was there, who knows," Aaron shrugged. "After all, he's a Dwarf, they're all Dwarves."
"Then they should know that Girion did hit the Dragon. He left a scar on the Dragon's left wing; one more hit could have killed the Dragon."
Pfft!
Aaron spat out a mouthful of amber liquid, looking at Bainin astonishment. "Are you serious?"
"Absolutely."
"Exactly where? Near the heart?" Aaron asked eagerly. If all went as expected, they would be slaying a Dragon soon, and it was necessary to understand all of the Dragon's weaknesses.