Harry had never hesitated to visit Hagrid before, but he was dragging his feet now as he paced down the dirt path to his little hut on the edge of the forest, Professor Sprout watching from the castle doorway to make sure he got there safe. The giant groundskeeper always had a fire going, tea whistling and rock cakes to break your teeth ready for anyone who knocked on his door at any hour of the day, his black eyes sparkling happily to have the company in a way that made you feel special despite that fact he loved everyone.
Probably because Hagrid genuinely was happy to see you, and was also just as happy to see everyone else.
Genuineness was…
Well, it was honestly what had Harry kind of dreading this conversation. Before the trial he'd been trying to get time approved to go meet with the groundskeeper to pick his brain about giant snakes, but even the threat of petrification shoved in their faces every minute of the day since they weren't allowed to leave the castle without express permission/supervision wasn't enough motivation to make this better. It felt like a lifetime ago that he'd been trying to see Hagrid himself, despite the fact it was barely a week he no longer really wanted to face this chat.
When he'd gotten a note at breakfast this morning from the man inviting him to tea, it was immediately clear he wanted to talk about Sirius. He'd probably been waiting to bring it up the next time Harry visited… and when time had stretched and he hadn't shown up in a while, he took it upon himself to invite the red head down.
Hagrid, being the naive joy that he was, had probably never considered that Harry was actually avoiding him and didn't think twice about sending the invite. Harry… while he was avoiding the giant, was also not nearly heartless enough to ignore or decline the invite and risk bursting Hagrid's bubble.
So he was going down for tea… whether he was ready for this or not.
It's just, Hagrid was so genuine and open about his feelings in a way Harry could not relate to in any way! It was one thing to get the loaded looks and awkward congratulations from the other teachers, another thing even to try and avoid McGonagall gently prodding the subject… all he had to do was press a little bit and she backed off, probably also very wrapped in her own emotions (guilt) that she wasn't straightforward with him either.
Hagrid though, Harry was 100% sure, was about to unload a bunch of stories about Sirius at Hogwarts on him and try to reminisce about the man like he sometimes did with James and Lily Potter. He would probably cry as he did so too, because that's just seemed to be what he did if things were even slightly melancholy.
Harry was so not ready for this.
But he also couldn't say no to Hagrid so he slouched down the path with a cloud over his head, resigned to his fate as he knocked on his door.
"Harry!" It wasn't a big hut so it wasn't like Hagrid was standing by the door or anything, it's just that there wasn't many places to stand in the small room that he couldn't lean over and pop the door open almost instantly at the sound of a visitor. "Ya alright then? Come on in, I've got tea on," He beckoned him in and Harry slipped in without much more fuss.
He did like being in Hagrid's hut—it was cozy. And he'd been here enough that he was happy to just plop himself on the chair he normally took, making himself at home without prompting.
"Sorry it's been a while, things have been hectic," He sighed, which was not a lie.
"Don' worry 'bout it, I bet they are," The giant placed a huge cup of tea in front of him that Harry would never be able to finish, but he shot him a thanks anyway. Hagrid found his own seat with a huff, waving a hand at him earnestly. "How ya' been with everythin'? Bet that was a right shock, hearin' about it all from the news and that,"
Despite that not being true, it had indeed been a lot so he appreciated the thought in asking.
"Yeah… I still don't know what to think about it though." He gave as non-committal an answer as possible, but knew Hagrid didn't really need anything more than that to launch into what he wanted to say.
"I know it was probably horrible to hear all that from the papers, and I'm sorry I didn' tell ya myself earlier. I just thought—oh bollocks this whole time I thought the man a murderer! I didn' want you worrying about a man like that but to hear he's innocent…!" Hagrid sniffed, large head shaking slowly in sadness.
There was a part of him that held everyone who'd bought the lie blindly was a little guilty. That no one had done anything, at the very least asking the question of if he'd had a trial or not which he felt was literally the bare minimum. People he respected even, like McGonagall… it was nice she seemed to care more than he was expecting but also… where had that been for the past eleven years?
Hagrid though, Harry didn't blame for a second. Dumbledore had probably told him not to worry about it and he'd trusted him—like Hagrid trusted everyone, but particularly trusted the headmaster.
The words were, at face value, very obvious and clearly what a lot of other people had thought. Only coming from Hagrid's mouth though, did Harry not get annoyed by it.
"It's alright, if it had been true then you're right, I wouldn't have wanted to worry about the guy who got my parents killed either," He agreed.
"I feel terrible," Hagrid grunted with a twisted expression, and Harry believed it was true without question.
"It really is okay…"
"No it isn't! I knew Sirius as a boy, I chased 'im away from the forest more times than the Weasley twins even, I shoulda known—and ta think he's been in Azkaban this entire time!"
Also not a new sentiment that Harry hadn't already gone through. He forgave Hagrid for the repetition as if this was breaking news though.
"I know, but he's been in St. Mungo's since before the trial and they say he's getting the best help they can offer," He repeated the party line a little numbly. "He should be out before summer, and if he's a good guy he won't hold it against you I'm sure. Everyone believed he was guilty, not just you."
Someone blaming Hagrid for being naïve was a red flag he refused to believe his godfather capable of, so he wasn't lying in that either.
Hagrid took that in, but then seemed to hold his own cup of tea up a little higher to his chest, shifting in his seat.
"Ah… sorry, Harry. You shouldn' need ta be comfortin' me, I meant to be tryin' to comfort you but you don' seem very happy about it."
He tensed a bit, not realizing his acting had gotten so bad that even Hagrid could see through him. Or maybe he'd just been underestimating the guy—he wasn't stupid exactly, but what he lacked in observation skills he more than made up in emotional intelligence. Something Harry was still pitiful at, frankly.
"Oh, um… I don't know," He hedged, because he really didn't. "It's fine, there's not much I can say or do about it but I appreciate the thought. I just… I don't know."
Hagrid' large head inclined, and he cleared his throat a bit awkwardly. "Still, I'm sorry this has all been happenin', it's not pleasant business for sure. Sirius was a good man before all 'o this, so I'm sure when you meet 'im thing'll work out, jus' you see."
"Madam Bones said the same thing," He recalled, wondering a bit. "I just… I find it weird people keep saying that honestly. That he was a good man, that he was a good friend. I believe you, I do, but like… how did it go from everyone thinking he was a good man, to no one believing he was innocent? And then the second he was found innocent everyone went right back to calling him a good man," It wasn't Hagrid's fault but the sentiment had been annoying him for a while now.
Particularly from the teachers, who should've known Sirius better than that.
He was right in asking that now though, as Hagrid seemed uncomfortable… which implied there was some other detail that maybe people had avoided talking about, and Hagrid was a bad enough liar that it was immediately obvious he was holding back.
"I mean the evidence all pointed that way, and when Peter's body was never found it jus'…" Hagrid shifted in his seat again but that was an even worse excuse than the nonsense Reeds had spout out during the trial.
Harry was not about to get into the argument of evidence and trials with Hagrid though—the man clearly bought whatever Dumbledore had told him and the headmaster was a conniving liar on a good day, much less what he'd become back on those very dark, very bad days. He would be getting information though.
"'Peter' was the one who actually betrayed my parents," Harry reminded him a bit cooly and Hagrid ducked his big head, wincing a bit.
"Aye… I read that, I jus'… I find it as hard to believe as I did findin' Sirius guilty," He admitted.
"But Hagrid… weren't you—I mean… I'm sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but Neville's Gran said some things that make me think you know more than anyone what it's like to be falsely accused of something," He never had plans to bring this up as he knew it was be hurtful but… he wanted answers.
He felt a stab of regret as the giant man sat up straight as if electrocuted, big eyes going wide and glassy—before he sunk in on himself immediately.
"Ah, Augusta is a scary woman, I'll tell ya that," He sighed, "But yer not wrong… it's been on the mind a lot these days anyways, given what's been happenin' in the castle,"
"To be clear I know you were innocent—the way I know Sirius is also innocent, but that Pettigrew is not. I'm not going to even pretend to like him or have sympathy for him even if he was my parents' friend at one time." Harry wanted to be firm and Hagrid nodded sadly.
"Aye, I understand. That's what I was tryin' ta avoid by not bringing Sirius up, but I had it all wrong," He sniffed, and Harry felt bad he might've pushed him to cry himself as he dabbed his face with a tent-sized handkerchief.
"Can I ask what happened? I mean like—why? I thought you of all people would not blindly accuse someone since it happened to you too, didn't it? What was it about Sirius that made people think he was 'good' but also guilty?" He pressed, and Hagrid only hesitated a moment to sniffle his tears down a bit before caving—like always when Harry asked him things directly.
"He was a good man… a good kid, fer sure." He began, seeming hesitant and eyes flickering to the side as if searching for the right words and being unsure if he was allowed to say some things. After eleven years of assumptions being proven completely wrong he was probably more uneasy about saying the wrong things than ever. "I don' need to tell ya what Gryffindors are like—they come in all sorts and types, but Sirius wasn' like any that yer classmates are… hm, I'm not really sure how to put it…"
"Was he like a Slytherin?" He tried to help by offering a suggestion but Hagrid shook his head sharply.
"Oh no! He was fer sure a Gryffindor, just… sharper?" He titled his head, gripping his tea awkwardly as he tried to find his words. "Yer friends with the Weasley twins, yeah? He was a lot like them, only more reckless I think. He was in it fer the fun always, but sometimes he got in a ton o' trouble if he took the joke too far. He never really seemed ta get the consequences though, I don' think he ever really cared about his detentions or what others thought… there was one time he got suspended from Hogwarts, and that was—well, an important incident that comes to mind when thinking about how far he'd go sometimes," He winced.
Harry's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.
"Suspended from Hogwarts!? What did he do!?"
"Ah… well," Hagrid cleared his throat, clamming up. "He pulled a prank and… another student almost died. I think he would've been expelled if Madam Pomfrey hadn't vouched for him."
Harry was suddenly remembering the bit of the trial when Bennett had tried to accuse Sirius of having 'bouts of insanity while at Hogwarts'. How Madam Pomfrey had declined to comment. How Sirius himself on Veritaserum had admitted it was possible it could happen again.
"You think he's insane," He blurted out, Hagrid jumping a bit in his seat at how he'd made that jump so fast.
"No! I mean… he's not… he's not well exactly," He floundered waving one hand clumsily as if not wanting to get caught saying those exact words, but also not being able to deny his inner beliefs.
Harry had been brushing by it the whole time: how Sirius being declared sane was so important to the trial, how surprised everyone had been when his sanity had been confirmed, the long character witnesses about how the Black family of old were essentially the boogeymen themselves… how fast everyone had turned on Sirius as soon as the situation had even moderately pointed against him despite being openly acknowledged as a 'good guy'.
They were not talking about whether or not Azkaban had driven him insane or not: they were talking about if Sirius Black was insane. As in, everyone had kind of assumed something wasn't right with him all along, and the very second it seemed he'd snapped was all the proof they needed to be right about him.
Hagrid tried to backpedal when he saw his expression, "Not that there's anything ta be worrying about with him! He's a good man, he would never lift a hand to his friends or loved ones," He insisted.
"But if you're not his friend then he's a problem," Harry cut right back and Hagrid paused… shrinking in on himself a bit.
"Well… yeah. He's the type of guy to die for his friends, but he'd do his absolute worst on his enemies. Made 'im a great auror, a great ally… but he did scare people a bit too. Only those that didn' know him though! Get to know 'im and you'll find he's a warm, cheerful kind of guy, but ah… he don' much like people who hurt his friends." Hagrid confessed.
Sirius was the kind of Gryffindor that Slytherins openly feared, it sounded like. Not the idiotic type they looked down on like Ron, not the mischievous type they had to treat cautiously like Harry himself, not the kind that made the rules and rigged the game like Dumbledore even.
Sirius was a fourth type Harry hadn't even known existed until now—though he wasn't sure how to put it yet.
"So people were afraid of him, and that's why everyone jumped to blaming him?" He frowned, and Hagrid paused… then set his tea down tiredly. Harry bit his lip, realizing he probably had hit a little too close to home for the groundskeeper with that analysis.
"It's known ta happen," He confessed, a beat more quietly than he normally was.
"I'm sorry… I didn't meant to bring up bad memories for you too," He apologized, but the giant just shook his head and took a long draw of his tea, leaning back in his chair.
"Ah, nothin' ta be done about it now… I've had plenty o' years to think it all over, it wouldn' be fair to not tell the younger folks jus' because I've not been keen on speakin' of it," He reassured.
Harry sat up, curiosity eating at him from what those words implied.
"So… you wouldn't mind me asking then? Because I know you were innocent but it sounds like you're still mad about it too?" He wondered, and then jumped when the Hagrid burst out with a loud, bitter laugh.
"Ha! Maybe the headmaster talked sense to me 'bout why it had to happen the way it did, but I'm as sure now as I was back then that Aragog didn' do anythin' to that girl! He was jus' a baby, he didn't even leave his box much those days!" He insisted, dropping a lot of information probably unknowingly that set Harry's alarm bells ringing.
He wanted him to keep talking though so he didn't immediately ask any of the more pressing questions in favor of nodding his head firmly.
"I know you like dangerous pets but you're very responsible with them, I never thought you'd actually ever let them hurt someone," He agreed, only half seriously. "Why did they blame him?"
Whoever 'he' is…
"I had just gotten Aragog, and was keepin' 'im safe! The head boy at the time found out though and thought he was the monster in the chamber, though I swore he'd never hurt anyone! It didn' matter much though, people were afraid," Hagrid shifted in his tea with a grumpy little 'harumph!' at the indignation of it all, before wincing. "We had the petrifications like are happenin' now, but then Myrtle wasn't just petrified, she just died. There was talks of shuttin' down the school and when they found Aragog they jus'…"
"Blamed you." Harry frowned, the picture painting itself more clearly now.
"The both of us, though she didn't die from acromantula poison, she just—died! Just like is happenin' these days in the castle, they found her in the bathroom after a feast with nothin' clear 'bout what happened! They say there never was a cause of death they could see, no poison or anythin' so I don't know why Aragog had to take the blame," Hagrid ranted a bit.
"I think you probably took more of the blame, for something neither of you did," Harry had to comment dryly, before the words sunk in and he stiffened. "Also, did you say acromantula?"
"He was jus' a baby then, barely big enough to talk or eat a full chicken himself! He's an old man like me now though, blind as all be too, so he can't hunt much himself these days either, and says whatever is in the castle is a mortal enemy of spiders, so I'm sure it wasn't him then and fer sure isn't him now!" Hagrid continued to complain about how ridiculous blaming his pet was, either ignoring or completely missing the tone in which Harry had said that.
"Did you say talk?" He was flabbergasted—mostly because he did catch the point that being 'barely big enough' meant it still could eat a chicken itself, and a spider big enough to eat a chicken whole as a baby was not something he wanted to see. More importantly though: "And he's still around?"
"Oh yeah, he lives in the forest still," Hagrid admitted, before realizing he'd probably said too much and put a hand up in defense. "But blind! And frail in his old age, he can barely walk these days," He said it sadly but Harry very concerned.
"So you feed him instead?"
"Nah, his children do mostly; they take great care of him,"
Harry choked on air—nope, not dealing with that right now.
"You said him and… his children say the monster in the castle is their 'enemy' right? Do you know what kind of creature that is? Because Draco thinks it's a type of snake,"
Hagrid blinked, the idea he could ask Aragog about the monster that he clearly already knew about seeming to be a brand new concept to him, and he perked up as the idea took hold.
"Now that you mention it, I didn't ask… next time I see 'im I'll see if he knows,"
"Do you think it's maybe a little urgent to double check?"
"Ah, well," He cleared his throat a bit awkwardly and Harry caught on instantly.
"Hagrid… do the aurors in the castle right now maybe not know that you currently have an acromantula in the forest?"
"Ah," He seemed unable to figure out what he should say here, which was pretty much confirmation. And Dumbledore wasn't here to protect him—if they blamed him last time they'd absolutely blame him this time too without hesitation.
Harry waved it off hastily. "Alright, as soon as they leave then maybe ask. I fully believe it wasn't him then and isn't him now, but that does seem like kind of important information to have. Not to mention maybe will point us to who is guilty, hopefully before anyone else gets hurt."
"Of course! Soon as the coast is clear I'll take a trip out to 'im—it's a bit 'o a walk," The man agreed happily.
Harry wasn't even mad—it being far from the castle was better than closer.
"That'll be good then, once we know more. On that topic though, you know a lot about magical creatures, right? If it is a snake, do you have any idea what kind it could be?"
"Hmmm… it's a bit odd as it bein' a creature never made much sense to me. Animals kill to eat, it's jus' in their nature, they aren't senseless or particular 'bout it like humans are. That students have been petrified but not eaten or hurt otherwise made me think it was a mean ol' poltergeist or somethin' nastier," Hagrid admitted, to his credit seeming to give it genuine thought. "Slytherins would be the snake experts I suppose, but I'm not so sold. I don' know any that would petrify—makes it hard to eat if the target is stone, so how they'd even get that ability would be strange,"
Harry hummed, taking that in. "I guess that makes sense… Draco did say the same thing, that if it were something like an occamy there wouldn't be any training it not to eat or something,"
Hagrid laughed fully from his belly, earlier tension gone as that seemed to be a genuinely hilarious mental picture to him.
"Taming an occamy! There's a laugh!" He crowed, highly amused. And since Hagrid thought he could raise a baby dragon like a puppy in a very flammable, one-room hut, that spoke volumes.
Harry had a suspicion there was truth somewhere in the middle here… Draco maybe not giving animals enough credit, but Hagrid maybe giving them too much credit. It still could be a snake, but if it was, then there was something deeply unnatural happening with it that went beyond it being a normal animal… which implied that it wasn't just the snake itself involved here, there was likely some other force (or person perhaps) behind this as well.
Not the greatest news, but some progress was better than no progress.
"Well that's more of a lead than anyone else has had so far honestly. If, ah, Aragog actually knows what it is then maybe this will be over soon," He gave a sigh, suddenly remembering that he had told McGongall about hearing a voice in the walls… that was weeks ago now and the aurors were still wandering around, so clearly they hadn't found anything, which was strange. "I'd kind of put this all from my mind with everything else happening, but now that I'm getting back into things in the castle I'm somehow more concerned about this than Sirius right now," He admitted.
Hagrid blinked, shifting in his seat again. "Ah, makes sense… focusin' on the present is always easier too, at least fer me," He offered, and Harry blinked at that, well, genuinely sage bit of wisdom.
He gave a small laugh. "True… though I think a petrification monster or whatever it ends up being is a pretty good excuse for keeping your wits about you."
It didn't seem like Hagrid even heard him though, still looking mighty preoccupied over what had just occurred to him. He came to a decision about it then it seemed, setting his tea down and standing, shuffling over a trunk by his bed.
"On that topic, I actually have somethin' fer ya then, Harry," He only needed one hand to drag it over to the sitting area easily, popping it open to rustle thought it. "Maybe it's easier but ah… well, if there's somethin' I'm learning after this mess, I think you'll want to be makin' your own choices instead o' me tryin' to guess fer you,"
"What?" Harry's curiosity was peaked, but he was wary too since half this conversation had been rather tense and was worried this was going to be a continuation.
"I gave you an album with yer parents' pictures, remember?"
"Of course I do," Harry immediately leaned to the edge of his seat, eyes wide. "I—I could never really thank you properly for that Hagrid… it's one of my most prized possessions."
"No need ta be thankin' me, in a better world you woulda grown up knownin' what they looked like." He waved off the thanks, a flicker of sadness echoing across his face before returning to his task at hand. A bit of rustling later, he pulled out a packet of cards or something similar. "I actually feel like I should be apologizin'… back then I asked around for people with pictures to share and got sent a bunch, but I only put ones with yer parents into the album. For better or worse now, you know the past isn't so clean and happy like that so… there'll be some unpleasant faces, some faces long gone, but you should have all o' them to choose fer yourself which ones ya want to keep,"
Harry felt his heart skip.
"…what?"
He felt his voice was much smaller than he meant it to be, but he couldn't help it as he numbly accepted the ream of what were clearly pictures Hagrid handed him. If he had to hazard a guess there was about forty or so clipped together, but the very first one on top made him freeze to his core.
He had memorized the album Hagrid had given him—but that scrapbook was just his parents as the giant had just confessed. Mostly their wedding photos, but several of their life in Godric's hollow, some with baby him in them even… but no one else even hinted at, just the little family of two, then eventually three and occasionally a cat.
The first picture in the packet staring up at him was clearly a staged wedding photo… his mother in a beautiful white dress and his father with the unmistakable round glasses in a black robe—
—but to his mother's side there was a woman with a round face and blond hair done up in a gorgeous up-do, front teeth poking out of her triangle lips a bit as she laughed, moving silently in the magical photo so while he couldn't hear the laughter he could watch her small shoulders heave up and down from whatever was so funny.
And Harry could only just barely survive the idea that that was Neville's mom, because the man standing to his father's side and bumping into him annoyingly as he made faces at where the cameraman clearly asking him to stand still, was a young Sirius Black.
He'd seen him in the courtroom not a week ago… but that man was a ghost of the vibrant young man grinning up at him now.
Oh god.
And because clearly he hated himself, he knew there was something even worse in here as he immediately flipped through them—heedless of what he was seeing and the faces that seemed to hurt all the more—
Until he landed on one that made his throat close up.
It pictured four young men in nicer robes, though half of them were discarded now for the white collared shirts they had on underneath since the wedding was clearly reaching it's conclusion and the night was late, all of them half tipsy. Scratch that, his father and Sirius looked genuinely drunk as they silently yelled up from the photo… and a young man with light brown hair was essentially holding both of them up, keeping one of Black's arms over his shoulder to keep the guy upright, his other wrapped around James Potter's swaying form to keep him from falling out of frame, yet grinning right along with them at the chaos. He had scars across his face still but he looked… light.
Light in a way Harry had never seen, or even imagined Remus to be.
Happy.
"…thank you." He got out quietly, but his hands had gone numb.
"Harry? Ya alright?" Hagrid's concern was just so… so genuine…
Harry couldn't handle it and found himself out the door before he could stop himself.
000
He was a coward.
He clutched the packet of pictures to his chest, but he couldn't bring himself to look at them. He'd run from his own emotions, but more literally he'd run from Hagrid, yet hadn't even managed to go that far. In light of there being no pumpkins in the garden this time of year, he'd ended up under the groundskeeper's woodpile instead—it was damp and cold but dryer and warmer than being out in the snow at least.
The giant had followed him out of concern, and also alarm that the student he'd agreed to escort back to the castle had run off with an unknown monster on the loose, but clearly tracked his footprints in the snow to merely around the corner of his house. He gave a sad little chuckle and took a brief trip back into the hut to obtain some rock cakes and Fang—both of which he left outside the wood pile to let him have a moment to himself.
The castle has been more crowded and louder than ever these days, with the lockdown. The quiet out here was nice, just as much as it was absolutely awful.
I'm such a coward.
He shoved his face more firmly into the arms wrapped around his knees, wondering why he was like this. He'd essentially proven Hagrid right that there were truths he wasn't ready to hear by that reaction, which was the exact opposite of what he was going for.
It was probably because it was all too fresh, he told himself. It was the reminder that he now had a picture of Remus which was something he hadn't even thought of before, even while spiraling into despair that he might never see the werewolf again. I was the depressing thought that the picture in his hands now that he couldn't bear to look at felt like a fable—or a lie even, as that was not what Remus looked like. Not the man he'd known and come to care about, at least.
That he at least had this lie of a picture now… well, he just had no idea how to feel, but for sure he was feeling a lot of things all at once, hence the retreat to the woodpile. Not his classiest move but no matter how brave he liked to pretend he was, his first reaction was always to run.
And people mocked Neville. Sure Harry was always ready for a fight or an adventure while his friend hesitated, but the meekest of Gryffindors never backed away from matters of the heart when it counted. Conversely, Harry physically fled the room like a skittish cat when faced with anything more emotionally serious than a quidditch game.
He curled up a little tighter, knowing he needed to get it together and get out of here, at the very least because he was supposed to be visiting Hagrid and hiding from the man in his own woodpile seemed kind of rude. It's already been nearly half an hour and at some point this had to be too childish even for him.
He thought the sound of footsteps was Hagrid again before he realized they were way too light, and belonged to more than two giant feet as he saw them come to stop in front of the opening in front of him.
A freckly orange face suddenly popped down as he located their target.
"We've got to stop meeting like this, Apples," The twin beamed. "You really have a thing for Hagrid's garden, don't you?"
Harry was only half surprised anymore to see them, and blinked once at him to register which one this was.
"Fred?"
"How do you do that?" Another face, identical but kind of annoyed joined his brothers where they were leaning down to see into his hiding spot. They'd apparently come full circle from being suspicious and anxious about being separated to a bit endeared every time he did it—or Fred was at least, Geroge less so but only by a bit.
"What are you guys doing here?"
Fred waved a familiar parchment still in his hand. "We saw on the map you were visiting Hagrid,"
"And even we can only take so much of the tower these days,"
"So we thought we'd come crash the party!"
"Doesn't look like you're doing my celebrating though," George raised a brow at him pointedly referencing his position. Harry had no defense and just curled around himself a little tighter.
"I'm being chicken I guess. Hagrid started being emotional and I couldn't handle it." He admitted ruefully.
Luckily the twins just snickered a bit, Fred reaching in to offer him a hand. "It can't be very comfortable in there,"
"We could field him for you if you wanted to come inside? It'll be warmer at least," George prodded too.
He'd been working up to it anyway so he gave in and let them pull him out, shaking the snow off his robes and cold off his bones as they ushered him towards the hut again with Fang hauling himself back up to join them happily. Hagrid immediately opened the door when the twins knocked, clearly thinking it was Harry and doing a double take to realize the amount of students visiting had tripled.
"Ah! Shoulda known you two wouldn't care 'bout the lockdown! Ya got ta be careful though, there's still that petrification business to be worried about," He scolded, but ushered them all in into the blissful warmth hasily, giving Harry a weepy smile. "Ya alright then Harry? Sorry fer startlin' ya,"
Harry just glomped him in a hug as tight as he could make it, though given the size difference the giant probably barely felt it. "No, thank you— really. I love the pictures, they were just… a lot right now."
"I understand," He was hugged back gently—still far too tight but he didn't protest. "Sorry again, that ya need to deal with all this,"
The twins were not that stupid and their expressions sobered some. "You were talking about Mr. Black then?"
Harry nodded silently and Hagrid shifted his weight, pushing all three of them towards the fire to warm up worriedly. "Suppose I was reminiscin' too much. I've not seen you much since the lockdown, let's have a proper visit for the rest o' today, and talk about happier things!" He encouraged the subject chance and Harry was thankful for it.
Doubly so when the twins needed no further permission to their normal, light-hearted antics which were always a great distraction from everything.
For the rest of the afternoon Harry had a much better time, as the twins made everything feel brighter, Not to mention the way they ran circles around Hagrid was endlessly entertaining, so that Harry found himself smiling and laughing along like things were somehow normal again... relaxing in good company even, although the pictures stashed in his front robe pocket felt heavier and heavier every time he thought of them.
The sky was beginning to dim a little outside the small hut windows when Harry startled at a stream of silvery white mist came streaking straight through the wooden door and danced around the room to catch all their attentions and cut Fred off mid-sentence. He jumped rather badly but neither Hagrid nor the twins seemed alarmed so he settled back into surprised curiosity at the weird bit of magic.
Particularly when he realized the silver mist looked just likeMcGonagall's cat form, and when it opened it's little mouth it actually spoke with her voice.
"Rubeus you are needed in the castle to escort the aurors off Hogwarts' grounds." Came the simple message that was for sure her no-nonsense tone, before it disappeared to nothing.
"Ah! They've been callin' it earlier and earlier but this is ridiculous--s' not even dark yet!" Hagrid grumbled, displeased with the interruption but standing anyway. He jabbed a large finger at the three of them warningly. "I'm supposed ta escort you back to the castle, don' go wanderin' off now! I'll be right back; Fang keep an eye on 'em for a minute, will ya?" He called as he went for the door, the hound drooling in his sleep by the roaring fire without budging an inch at the order, making students smile.
"What was that?' Harry couldn't help but ask as the giant slipped out the door for his errand.
"A patronus charm!" Fred cheered. "They're handy for warding off dark things and also delivering messages, as you saw,"
"So you can you make it any shape you want?"
"Pretty sure you get what you get—your patronus is supposed to be something that represents you," George recalled.
"Like how if you're an animagus that's just the form you're meant to have,"
"I think your animagus and patronus form are the same thing actually,"
Harry perked up, instantly intrigued. "So my patronus would be a way to know what my animagus form would be without doing it?"
The both laughed, seeing immediately where he was going. "To be honest I'm not sure it'd be easier to learn. One is a form of transfiguration,"
"The other is a charm. And to be honest Apples…"
He made a face and stuck his nose in air, annoyed but unable to defend himself. "My Charms grades suck, yeah I know… I just thought it'd be fun. I promised McGonagall I wouldn't try to be an animagus until I was of age."
"Probably for the best, knowing you,"
"Hey! Like you guys can talk!"
"Ah but we made no such promises to any professor now, did we?" They snickered at him and he sighed in defeat.
Harry glanced at the door, where Hagrid had gone. He loved the guy but the giant had a habit of trampling over subjects with the grace befitting a man his size, with all the best intentions in the world that Harry couldn't hold against him, but he felt very… thin and worn out in trying to respond like a normal Gryffindor to Hagrid's earnest commentary.
The twins though were much more his speed. Dependable in the way that had him telling them things even against his first instinct never to spill things so easily, and kind enough that he knew he wouldn't get judged for it either.
Besides… it was kind of nice knowing he wouldn't be alone in how much the wayward marauders meant to him.
"I really have been meaning to talk to you guys, but with everyone being crammed into the tower there isn't really a time or place," There was no time like the present as the chances they'd been alone and uninterrupted again with the lockdown was slim. It seemed like as good a chance as he'd get, even if he really didn't feel ready to have this conversation yet.
"Hey there Apples, no need to get all weepy again," George nudged his knee from his spot beside at the table and he huffed playfully.
"I was not weepy!" He lied, and they rolled their eyes in perfect synchronicity.
Fred was gentle but a little sad as he nodded at him firmly. "And you don't need to recap it all as I know that'd suck… we know the important bits already, like about Mr. Moony."
He froze.
"But how…?"
"They printed the entire transcript of the trial—it was a lot but it's all people have been talking about so some dedicated few read the whole thing,"
"Us in particular." George matched his brother's bittersweet smile. "We saw the bit about Remus Lupin being arrested. No one really gave that a second thought but…"
They knew.
"It was my fault," Harry found himself confessing, a bit breathless as if he wasn't planning on actually saying that and it's just kind of… come out instead. They blinked, tilting their heads in opposite directions.
"How do you figure that?"
"From what I read that was definitely Fudge's doing, and bet your ass we've taken note of that," They huffed, exchanging dark looks that Harry 3000% agreed with—but that wasn't important right now.
They needed to know what really happened because they'd agreed to help him but they didn't know just how naïve and foolish their potential business partner had turned out to be. How he'd outright said he only cared about Moony and Padfoot and even sold his soul to get them—and he'd still failed.
All his good or bad intentions they didn't judge him for didn't matter because either way, he hadn't been able to do anything.
It all came tumbling out there, probably rather disjointed in his retelling of his journey away from Hogwarts but the worst parts came tumbling out anyway. The important parts, the devastating parts that they needed to know before he let this go on a second longer.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this." He finished, voice cracking in the finality of all his failures and their expressions matching the grim worry he felt himself. More than that, they were realizing themselves that the 'Mr. Moony' they so looked up to, that they were so kindly worried about despite never having met him… well, they might not get a chance to meet him at all now.
He bit his lip.
"I lied and kept things from him because I thought in the end I could give him Sirius back as an apology… it wasn't supposed to be like this. I—I made a mistake."
The two just glance at each other, sadness etched on their faces but not surprise.
"Harry…" George started but then seemed to pull it back, shaking his head once. "Well… we haven't met Remus Lupin yet, but… we do know Mr. Moony." He began heavily.
Harry was forced to look up at Fred nudge his shoulder a little roughly as if in an attempt to rouse him despite his eyes being a little watery above his smile too.
"He's oh so very sensible,"
"And clever!"
"And he worries about others—more than the likes of Mr. Prongs or Mr. Padfoot typically do."
"From what you told us, he was once given the choice between Sirius and you, right?"
Harry curled in on himself a little more… but he nodded once.
"And what did he choose?" Fred encouraged him again, arm over his shoulder tightly.
"… me."
George smiled sadly. "Maybe he didn't get a clear choice this time, but if he learns him being locked up is the reason you got free of your relatives, don't you think he'll accept it?"
"He's not even there for good, if you really believe your contact will get him out too! It'll just be a bad time for him, won't it?"
"When he gets out and learns that him being the distraction is what got Padfoot free and saved you, won't he think it worth it? He didn't have to choose between you this time, he got both of you free."
"I really don't think he'll consider it a mistake, Harry." They pleaded with an bitter optimism that Harry wished he could join in on.
But…could he actually believe that? Kind Remus… self sacrificing Remus…
Yeah, I do.He really wouldn't hold it against me even… even if he dies in there.
He thought to himself, suddenly remembering what the werewolf has said when they first got back to the cottage.
Pup, I need you to be strong for me.
Remus had known even then where things were going, but he hadn't made another choice. Maybe he didn't know that Harry was behind it all, but he'd known the only way things could go for a werewolf being involved in a trial that high profile. Whether he knew he was directly trading his own freedom for Padfoot's… maybe it didn't matter, as Remus had always chosen Harry first.
He hadn't known what it meant when Remus had said 'be strong'. Faced with actually trying to do that, he was suddenly starkly aware of how weak he really was.
"Just because he'd accept it doesn't mean it was right to do this to him." He frowned, frustrated.
"Mr. Black shouldn't have been in prison in the first place--the trial proved that much." George shot back, sternly enough that Harry broke away from his sulking to blink widely at him.
"Werewolves shouldn't have been treated the way they are, it's literally human decency." Fred shrugged.
"But both of those things have happened."
"We can't escape the current reality, it is what it is."
"But this is why we're planning to change our future reality, isn't it? This is the best outcome possible with all the shitty options. We can only work to improve our options for the future."
Harry wilted. "But… what if he doesn't survive?"
Fred's arm around him pulled him into a proper hug now. "You're just going to have to trust his strength."
"Think of everything he's gone through— he has to be one of the strongest Gryffindors ever to have made it this far, surely he can make it one moon more."
…Harry hugged the twin back and was thankful his tears into his shoulder were silent, trying to cling to that hope in a semblance of the strength being asked of him.
"Mr. Moony will be okay, we have faith in that,"
"But in the mean time this is also something to celebrate isn't it? Padfoot is free now! You'll get to be with him in only a couple months!" They tried to turn to happier thoughts, and Harry ducked his head to roughly scratch away his wet eyes as he tried to think of this better prospect.
He hadn't heard anything from Sirius yet though he only half expected to get some kind of letter soon—the guy was probably still under St. Mungo's care and needed to focus on himself for a moment. They were both probably waiting on him to be cleared as healed before that happened, and there was still months left until summer.
Moony… the petrification monster… actually meeting Sirius for the first time… it just seemed like so much in the way of now and this theoretical 'freedom' the twins were trying to cheer him up with.
He wanted to imagine it though.
He wanted to look forward to it, for once.
"…what is he like?" he found himself asking. "The Mr. Padfoot you guys know."
Twins look at each other startled, but re-remembering that yeah… he was still a complete stranger to Harry. By loosing Moony he was losing someone he trusted for someone he knew nothing about, not two equal friends to him.
"To be blunt, a bit reckless." George admitted with a smile, and Fred pulled out the map from his robes with a grin of his own, the two of them launching into a full demonstration of the 'Mr. Padfoot' they knew in the little time they had before Hagrid returned.
Their stories combined with Harry's hesitantly revealing of the pictures in his pocket to put finally put faces to names… well, the map personalities were a lot closer to the smiling boys in the photo than the men alive today. It still felt like a fairy tale of someplace he'd never truly get to see, but for at least today… it was nice to dream about a world where things had worked out very differently.
000
March ended, and April arrived with a lot of cold rain.
Some days were sunny and warm, tricking you into briefly hoping that maybe spring was truly here, before the cold nights had people once more clustering closely around common room fires before bed.
A full moon preceded the last frost of the year, when gardeners across the country made note to start putting their seedlings into the warming ground, and the Daily Prophet announced a new interim Minster of Magic in light of Cornelius Fudge being put under investigation for a long list of rumored crimes.
000
"Madam Bones-"
"Stuff it, Kane. If you won't treat him then find someone who will."
The healer had balls, Amelia had to admit because she didn't flinch at the glare she got, and in fact gave one back just as coldly. Healers usually were of stronger stuff than other civilians, which was both a sin and a virtue depending on the day.
She kept her composure despite the open threat and lifted her chin defiantly.
"There aren't many in my ward who would, and I won't force them."
"Find them." Amelia was dead cold and was not about to take no for an answer.
The bitch had the self-preservation to shut her mouth then, at least. She was still stiff as a board as she bowed her head once and walked off, but they all knew Kane would still somehow 'fail' to find anyone in her ward willing to treat a werewolf.
Even if it was clear there were sympathizers around, as the other healer watching this exchange just glanced anxiously at his teacher's back before clearing his throat a bit awkwardly.
"Well… we've done what we can but Healer Kane is one of our best. Without her or another senior healer it is unlikely we'll be able to do much more, we're just not trained with this sort of thing," He hedged nervously, speaking to the root of the problem.
Junior healers were trained under their Senior colleagues while studying for their full certification, and without their support would never be approved or recognized as an independent healer. Even if there were an apprentice that didn't hold the same prejudice like him, they couldn't do much without pissing off their teacher and impacting their education. Healer Kane was on staff today, and she wasn't about to help a werewolf—she never had before and Amelia has zero expectation for her to start now.
They couldn't wait until shift change though and hope the next senior healer on staff wasn't a bigot, the odds were unfortunately not in their favor and… well, there just wasn't time.
The new interim Minster schooled her expression and her heart.
"I'm aware, but the lack of initiative for people who claim to want to heal people is a little telling."
The younger healer gave her a please be serious look, though still seemed sympathetic.
"I've done what I can." He repeated quietly, with a kind of finality to it—maybe a hint of an apology. "There are private healers who could be paid, though finding one with the right experience may be tricky. I have some names of those who frequent here if you or his family would like to follow up." He handed her a slip of parchment quickly as if afraid he'd be seen doing it, and she glance at it briefly before tucking it into her front pocket.
"I suppose I'll give thanks for what I can get." She said flatly and he winced, but she had no mercy on him as she stalked by him.
It probably wasn't wise to antagonize the few allies she did have on this side of the fence, given what prejudice was openly displayed elsewhere, but her temper was at the wick now.
Or, if she were being honest with herself, her guilt.It had been building since the moment she heard Valencia trying to get Black's trial on the docket—hell, since the moment she herself realized he'd never gotten a trial. That alone ate at her sense of justice, but everything since…
Meeting Harry personally and seeing how shaken he was by how cruel the world actually was.
She already felt guilty that she's inadvertently exposed Susan so young, that she was growing up to be far more realistic and sensible of a young woman than the happy little girl Amelia had promise her sister she'd let her niece be but… Harry had reminded her that it wasn't even close to the worst things she'd done. All the ways she'd failed Susan were still not close to all the ways she'd failed a lot of other children out there, and Harry was one of them.
She'd promised that boy, to his face, that she'd put her 'best man' on the job of getting Lupin out of Azkaban. If the world had any sense of the justice that she was (single handedly it felt like sometimes) trying to instill in it, then Remus Lupin would've never been arrested in the first place, but he definitely would've been released a month ago.
It was just her luck that her own mentor, the man she had trusted this entire time with not just her own life but many times the life of everyone below her in rank too, had turned out to be a fucking traitor.
It would sting less if he'd just been bought out by Fudge or some Slytherin, giving in to his crotchety old ways and wanting to coast off into the sunset with a frankly over-due retirement that the Ministry would never properly pay out… but no, he had to be one of Dumbledore's men.
This entire fucking time.
Amelia was pissed both at her old teacher, but also herself for ever thinking it safe to trust a god damn soul in this place.
"Constant vigilance my ass," She muttered darkly, slamming open the ward door as she got to the right floor and sending several healers milling about scrambling out of her path as she stalked down the hall.
Sirius was already pardoned, they'd won… why did these backwards old man insist on torturing them all still!? What good was keeping Lupin in Azkaban all this time? What was Dumbledore even after? She'd fired the old auror on the spot when she realized he'd lost the release paperwork very much on purpose, so the Headmaster no longer had an in to the DMLE—he'd blown his cover and for what? To kill one werewolf? To torture Sirius even more?
She didn't know what the goal was here but she knew it wasn't good.
Now that she was interim Minister, she didn't need any fucking paperwork to release someone from Azkaban on bail at least, and she knew who would be very happy to pay that bail without a second thought.
She got to the right door, and was relieved to see one of Valencia's people still posted up outside—the crowds long since gone though, thankfully. The guard didn't say anything but nodded once to her as she pushed her way into the room without hesitation.
The man who looked up from the book he was reading to blink owlishly at the intruder seemed so much better than the ghost she'd met last month. She felt bad for a brief second for ruining things, but ignored it as always.
"Bones! I hear congratulations are in order," He snarked, brutally cheerful to see her. "Here to lecture me again or can I hope this is might be a sign I can get out of this bloody place soon," She didn't really respond to that, and his smile faded quickly when he realized she was not in a laughing mood. "What is it."
She paused only a moment before tossing her shoulders back.
"Something is indeed wrong, and I know the second I tell you you'll run off whether the healers approve you to or not. So, before do, let me ask if you have a plan for when you leave this place."
He kept his face blank, unamused but taking it seriously thankfully.
"I do… I've made contact with Gringotts and have a claim to a house that's set for me to move in as soon as I leave here." He tilted his head and glanced to the side. "Part of the season they're dragging their feet about letting me go though is that they think me living alone is a terrible idea; I think they want to wait a couple weeks before the end of the school year so I wouldn't be alone long without Harry... they wanted us to meet properly before they let me go officially or something like that, they're not clear on the order of things."
Amelia's heart felt like someone had stabbed it but she disregarded it forcefully.
"I hate to do this to you, but it might be an unfortunate solution to that."
"What?"
"Remus Lupin." She began, and saw him freeze solid. It was… almost frightening the way the light behind his silver eyes faded almost entirely as she watched. She winced but pressed forward, knowing it would only get worse from here and no use delaying it. "He was brought to St. Mungo's a couple hours ago. There's a longer story there that will have you hating me all over again, and I will tell you all about it someday, but for now… whatever is happening in your head right now I know you'll want to use it for his sake, don't you?"
There was a long silence, so long in fact that she wondered if he'd even heard anything she said after Lupin's name. His eyes seemed to flicker in and out of consciousness despite never closing them, before he mumbled something quietly in a half dazed tone.
"He was… you arrested him…."
"Yes. Unlawfully, some of my men working under Fudge's dime did." She confirmed quietly, letting him work through something that clearly had his already tangled mind in absolute knots.
"I thought he… I mean he'd be released and that he hadn't come was…"
"No." She felt her pulse skip a beat as she realized exactly what he'd thought. That his old friend had abandoned him like everyone else had.
Which confirmed her suspicion that Edith hadn't told him anything about what she'd done. Most likely under the guise that he needed the temporary delusion that he was alone, so then at least he would rest enough to regain his health. Maybe it wasn't even a guise, maybe that was the honest truth of the situation and Edith was ultimately right to do it.
Time was up though, the real world was beckoning it's ugly hand.
"He was never released. M—the man I put on the task turned out to belong to someone who was in league with Fudge, and we weren't able to get him out until today. Just now, as I obtained control of Azkaban as interim Minister."
Black paled so harshly she was highly concerned he might just pass out instead of getting angry like she assumed he would—but oh yes, the anger came quickly after it.
"Two moons." He got out, voice strangled. "That was two moons ago," His entire body rippled with rage and he was on his feed in an instant. Amelia put her hands up and did not reach for her wand as she knew it would do no one any good—and his anger wasn't going to be used on her just yet.
The fact he knew immediately how many full moons there'd been since his trial despite not having left the hospital spoke volumes, and resolved the suspicion she'd already had after talking to Harry.
"I know. He's not in good shape now, and I've done what I can to threaten the healers here but I'm in a more constricting position as interim Minister. I came to tell you as I knew you'd want to know, and to give you this." She held out the parchment she'd been given and he was drawn forward as if possessed to snatch it from her hand, though the glance he gave it revealed he didn't immediately understand it. "There was one sympathetic soul down there who gave me a list of private healers that might be willing to help. It's up to you." She explained.
She couldn't afford something like a private healer but knew for a fact he wouldn't even blink at the cost—he wouldn't even notice honestly.
He gave her an unreadable look, and then clenched a fist to crumple the parchment, clearly deciding she was no longer important at this moment at all. He blew past her, the door slamming open and he was gone.
Free at last, it seemed, at a cost.
Amelia put her hands down and steadied herself in the beat of silence.
This ministry had failed so many people, so many times. She had failed many people quite personally, and she needed a moment to come to terms with that grim reality. She didn't know how much time she'd have before the new minister was appointed, so she straightened up. There was work to be done, to see just what she could do with the precious time she had.
000
Harry,
I can only sincerely apologize to you, my young friend. I did in fact put my most trusted man on the case, but it seems I have placed that trust in the wrong person—he is clearly more loyal to our common foe than I realized.
Rest assured he is no longer working for the Ministry, and Mr. Lupin has been confirmed to be safely at St. Mungo's as we speak. I will do my best to ensure he receives the equal care he deserves, though you have my deepest apologies for my oversight.
I know your situation has been a difficult one and will not settle down for the coming months, so if you need anything please let me know.
Amelia Bones