Here we go.
...
The branch bent a little under my weight as I reached up and twisted another apple free.
It was a good one, too. Red, smooth, no weird spots. I dropped it into the basket hanging from my arm and shifted my footing, steady enough despite the height. The tree creaked softly beneath me, leaves rustling in the afternoon breeze.
BZZ!
Then the little bastard came back.
At first, I felt this light prickling sensation on the side of my neck, right where skin was thin and annoying and apparently irresistible to every bloodsucking insect in existence. My hand shot up on instinct.
SLAP!
Nothing.
I turned my head, squinting. There it was again, hovering just in front of my face.
A mosquito. An incredibly persistent mosquito.
"You again?"
It buzzed near my ear.
I swatted at it. Missed. Again.
The thing circled lazily, as if mocking me, before drifting back in. I tried to ignore it and picked another apple, only to feel that sharp little sting on my forearm this time.
"Seriously?"
I slapped my arm. Too late.
The mosquito flew off, belly probably a little fuller, while I stared at the tiny bite mark it had left behind. Annoying. Obviously, it wasn't painful or anything, but this motherfucker was trying to get this shit for free, and that annoyed me more.
I went back to picking apples.
Then it bit me again.
And again.
At that point, I was starting to take it personally.
I narrowed my eyes as it hovered a short distance away; it was toying with me…
"You've got more confidence than survival instinct, I'll give you that."
The mosquito, somehow, did not seem moved by my words.
It came in one more time, aiming for the back of my hand.
And then I heard it.
CLINK!
I was starting to really love that sound; it meant I could have justice.
The mosquito landed.
Its tiny little mouth jabbed down toward my skin.
Nothing happened.
It tried again.
And again.
I stared as the mosquito pulled back, hovered in place, then landed once more with all the determination of a creature too stupid to realise the world had just changed around it. It pushed down harder.
Still nothing.
For a second, I swear the thing looked confused.
I slowly turned my head and looked at it. Then, little by little, a grin stretched across my face.
Ugly was probably the right word for it.
"Got you."
My hand snapped out.
SMACK!
When I opened my palm, the mosquito was just a tiny smear. I wiped my hand on the tree bark with a chuckle.
That clicking sound had changed my life.
Though it had technically started a lot earlier than this.
And it had started with a grape or all things.
…
The last thing I remembered before dying was panic, shame, and the horrifying realisation that I was about to lose a fight to fruit.
A grape.
Not a car or Truck-kun. Not some noble sacrifice, nor a dramatic final stand. I didn't die protecting someone. I didn't die while doing anything cool enough to justify a flashback montage. No, apparently, my grand exit from Earth had been me choking like an idiot over something small, round, and embarrassingly edible.
Even now, remembering it made me want to crawl into a hole and die again somehow.
When I opened my eyes, I was standing in a void.
That was the first thing I noticed. Just empty white in every direction: no floor, no sky, no horizon, just an endless space of white.
I blinked a few times, rubbed my throat, then paused. I swallowed.
No obstruction either.
My eyes widened a little. The absolute humiliation of probably dying in a way that would've gotten laughed at in group chats for years if I'd survived long enough to be in the screenshots.
"Oh," I muttered, staring blankly ahead. "That's tragic."
I then heard this strange sound.
I started looking around to see if there was anything out there, and right on cue, something stood behind me now.
A humanoid, sort of.
It was mostly this silhouette, tall and pitch-black, that contrasted with the endless white, its outline shifting just enough to make my eyes struggle to settle on it.
It made that sound again.
I blinked. "Is that meant to be your name?"
The figure was silent for a moment, then the sound came once more, carrying with it an answer I somehow understood.
"Lower beings cannot comprehend my true name."
I stared.
Then I nodded slowly. "Right. So yes, then."
There was a pause.
That made me like it a little.
Don't trust it. Definitely not that. But there was something deeply funny about meeting what was apparently some higher-dimensional cosmic existence and finding out it was basically introducing itself with audio corruption because my brain was too underpowered to understand.
I folded my arms. "So. I'm dead."
"Yes."
"Because I choked on a grape."
Another pause.
"Yes."
I shut my eyes for a second and took a deep breath that I definitely didn't need anymore. "Amazing. Incredible start."
The silhouette said nothing. It didn't need to. I was humiliating myself just fine on my own.
Eventually, I looked back up. "So what now? Heaven? Hell? Reincarnation? Eternal torment?"
The silhouette shook its head, and a sound came from it again.
"You are dead."
"Yeah, I gathered that."
"You are also available."
I stared at it. "Available."
"Yes. A dispute is taking place between the Higher beings."
I blinked. "Gods."
"If that term helps you."
"Why do I feel like I'm about to be dragged into something stupid?"
The figure made that same impossible sound again.
"Because you are."
I let out a slow breath through my nose. "Amazing. I love the honesty."
The silhouette stood still, and I folded my arms.
"Alright. What kind of dispute?"
There was a pause, and then it answered with the same calm that only something far too powerful to feel embarrassed could have.
"Power-scaling."
I just looked at it.
Then I pointed at myself. "I'm sorry, did you say power-scaling?"
"Yes."
"You're telling me gods watch that stuff. Have those arguments?"
"Yes."
I stared for a long second, then looked away into the blank void and laughed once, sharp and disbelieving. "That is so...bleak."
"The disagreement has persisted."
"And your solution was me?"
"You are dead already."
"That doesn't answer the question."
I shut my eyes for a moment. That was annoying. Very annoying. There was something uniquely insulting about being dead for maybe five minutes and already getting drafted into cosmic nonsense because I was "available".
Still, I had enough sense not to start yelling at the silhouette thing that had very casually confirmed it was one of the beings deciding my fate.
So I opened my eyes again and forced my tone to stay level. "So what was the disagreement about?"
This time, it answered immediately.
"Mahoraga."
That got my attention fast enough that all my irritation stumbled over itself.
I frowned. "You talking about Big Raga? The Opp Stoppa?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"And the world of One Piece."
My mouth opened.
Then closed.
Then opened again. "Hang on."
The figure waited.
"You mean One Piece."
"Yes."
"The actual world. Pirates, Devil Fruits, giant sea monsters, all of it?"
"Yes."
"And Mahoraga."
"Yes."
I took a step forward without thinking. "You're sending me to One Piece with Mahoraga's adaptation?"
"Yes."
For a second, I forgot to breathe, which was impressive considering I'd already died once today because that was ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. It was also, unfortunately, the coolest thing I had ever heard in my life. I tried very hard to keep my face normal, but I failed immediately.
"That's... that's not fair, actually."
The silhouette did not respond.
"No, seriously. You can't just say that like it's normal. You can't just drop that on a person." I pressed a hand to my head. "Do you understand how long people spend imagining stuff like this?"
"You are pleased."
I coughed. "That's not the point."
It was absolutely the point.
I was going to One Piece, like, actually going there.
With powers!
I looked back at the silhouette and, because I was still me despite the death and void and divine nonsense, the next question came out before I could stop it.
"Do I get a harem?"
Silence.
I winced. "Right. Sorry. Had to ask."
The figure, thankfully, moved on as if it had not heard me.
"To preserve internal consistency, the power will not be granted directly."
I frowned. "What does that mean?"
"It will take the form of a Devil Fruit."
That made sense fast enough. I nodded quickly
"You will not enter that world as you currently are."
I blinked. "Wait, what?"
"You will be reborn."
"As a baby?"
"Yes."
"Oh, come on."
"It is the cleanest method."
"That's awful."
The silhouette stayed silent.
I squinted at it. "You're enjoying this a little, aren't you?"
"No."
"Liar."
It continued as though I hadn't spoken.
"You will be reborn in the East Blue."
I relaxed a little. "Okay. That's better. Less chance of getting immediately folded by some random lunatic."
"You will be reborn approximately twenty years before the beginning of the main story."
That made me pause again. "Before canon starts."
"Yes."
"So I actually have time."
"Yes."
Time to grow. Time to train. Time to learn the world before all the really stupid monsters started moving around at once.
I laughed under my breath, half because it was absurd and half because, against all reason, part of me already wanted to say yes.
I stared at it for another second.
Then I smiled.
"Alright," I said. "Keep talking."
…
End Of Chapter!
Words Count - 1634