Chapter 114: Deadpool Has Never Had It So Good
The authorization notifications went out simultaneously.
In the Raimi universe's Oscorp-adjacent neighborhood, in Tony's Malibu lab, in the Fisk household on its way out for a morning walk, in the Lucky Dragon's upper floors where Pietro was still asleep, in Kamar-Taj's periphery where the Vongola connections registered as a distant chime — the same mechanical voice appeared in eighteen different people's heads at the same moment.
Ethan Cross has granted you Homestead authorization. Return at any time.
The reactions were varied.
Wanda was in a board meeting.
She heard Ethan and was out of her chair before the second word.
This was, objectively, not proportional to the information provided. The authorization message was calm, mechanical, and contained nothing alarming. But Wanda had spent the past month managing Fisk Enterprises, attending meetings, reading documents, and doing all of it with the specific quality of competence that comes from having decided you are going to be very good at something and then being very good at it — and the whole time, some part of her had been waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Ethan was enough.
She was through the window and using Chaos Magic to fly before her chair had finished rolling back. The board members watched this. Several of them had been in the organization long enough that unusual exits had stopped being surprising, but even by those standards this was brisk.
Vanessa heard the voice and went white.
"Wilson."
Fisk had already heard it. He was standing at the front door with his coat half on, reading the voice's content with the careful attention of a man who had learned to evaluate strange information before reacting to it.
"It's fine," he said. "It's from Ethan."
"How do you know."
"It mentioned Ethan." He finished putting on his coat. "We'll go see what it is after the shopping."
Vanessa looked at him.
"After the shopping," she repeated.
"We've been looking forward to the shopping," he said, reasonably. "Whatever Ethan has done will still be there in two hours."
Vanessa found this logic both exasperating and, on reflection, correct.
Tony heard the voice, checked for intruders with three separate systems, received JARVIS's diplomatic suggestion that he might simply be experiencing longing for Ethan's company, and decided to fly to New York rather than admit any of this.
In the Raimi universe, Peter Parker and Harry Osborn heard the voice at approximately the same moment — they were training in the Osborn family's converted gymnasium, Harry having spent the months since graduation working through the Accel Memory's capabilities under Wade's increasingly distracted supervision.
"I got an invitation from Ethan," Peter said.
"Me too," Harry said. "Ethan's invitation, specifically."
They looked at each other.
"Should we—"
"Let's ask your master first," Harry said. "He knows Ethan better than we do."
This was, objectively, true, though Wade's relationship with Ethan was more accurately characterized as chaotic mutual affection than anything resembling expertise. They went to find him anyway.
Wade was in the pool.
He had been in the pool for, by his own assessment, a reasonable amount of time. The Osborn estate had a pool. The pool was warm. Various people who were not Ethan or seventeen-year-old boys with spider powers had been available to occupy the pool with him, and they had been doing so with enthusiasm, and life had been genuinely excellent.
He had received the Homestead authorization notification approximately thirty minutes ago.
He had thought: Ethan wants me back. Interesting. No.
He had returned to the pool.
"Master," Harry said, appearing at the pool's edge.
"Busy," Wade said.
"The voice in our heads — the invitation from Ethan. Did you hear it?"
"Heard it."
"Are we going?"
"You can go," Wade said. "I'm staying. I live here now. The food is excellent, the company is better, and Ethan has probably lined up seventeen things for me to do the moment I show up. I am taking a sabbatical. Tell him I said hi."
Harry and Peter exchanged a look.
Harry crouched down at the pool's edge with the expression of a student who has learned a great deal from his master and is now going to use that knowledge against him.
"Master," he said. "If you don't come with us, who's going to demonstrate your techniques to Peter at the reunion? He's been practicing the combination you showed him."
Wade opened one eye.
"The combination with the—"
"The one you said only someone with your particular talent could execute properly."
A pause.
"That's manipulation," Wade said.
"I learned from the best."
Wade looked at the pool. Looked at the very good situation he had built for himself over the past several weeks. Looked at Harry, who was wearing the expression of someone who knew exactly what he was doing.
"Fine," Wade said. "But I want it on record that I was dragged here against my will and I reserve the right to go back."
He started climbing out of the pool.
Harry looked at the system prompt in his head — authorize additional Family member to transfer — and experimentally thought: yes, bring him too.
「Detected: another Family member has confirmed transfer on your behalf.」
The pool area, the warm afternoon, the general excellence of the Raimi universe's hospitality — all of it disappeared in a shimmer of spatial transition.
Wade's voice, indignant and fading: "I wasn't done yet—"
The Lucky Dragon's expanded interior received them.
Wade materialized mid-protest, still wearing pool-adjacent attire, and found himself standing in a restaurant that he recognized but which had somehow gotten bigger.
He looked around.
He looked at Ethan, who was sitting at the corner booth with tea, looking at him with the expression of someone who had not directly summoned him but was not displeased by the outcome.
"You," Wade said.
"Hi, Wade," Ethan said.
"I was comfortable," Wade said. "I had things going on. I had a whole situation and now I'm here and it is significantly colder and someone is going to explain to me what a Homestead is."
"Sit down," Ethan said. "I'll explain."
Wade sat, still dripping slightly, and looked at the spread of faces around the room — Wanda, who had arrived at speed and was now standing with the contained composure of someone who had come expecting an emergency and found a family dinner; Pietro, who had materialized from upstairs in a bathrobe with extraordinary speed; Tony, who had landed in the alley and come through the back and was now looking at the expanded interior with intense professional interest.
"Is this everyone?" Wade asked.
"Not yet," Ethan said. "We're waiting on a few more."
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