i hadn't realized it had already been morning . i still can't stop crying . i slowly felt like i was dying.
what have i done?i am a monster . i shouldn't be alive in this world . i killed my own best friend .
i called someone because i might kill myself . i didn't check the caller id . tears were still flowing on my cheek . i felt my body slowly sinking into the floor
[hello,jayla why are you calling ]it sounded like adrian
''adr-adrian , is that you''
[''yeah , why do sound so shaken up . are you okay?'']
''adrian , gra-grace''i said trying to stop crying
[''what happened to her , is she okay'']
''i-i killed her . i'm a monster '' i said through my ugly sobbing
[''no, you didn't'']he said reassuringly
''i did , i'm a monster''
[''where are you right now? i'm coming over'']
''i'm at home . don't come over , i-i'm a monster''
[''listen jayla , i'm coming over no matter what you say and either way even if you were a monster i would love you''] he said before cutting the call
after about 5 minutes of waiting , adrian came rushing into my room and he quickly comforted me by holding my hand and said
''whatever you want to say , i'm here''
i told him everything while ugly crying . he looked at little shocked at first then comforted me quickly and said
''listen to me , that is not your fault ''
''but it is , i killed her''i told him while ugly crying
''you did not kill her ''he told me reassuringly
''yes i did , i told grace to cross the road '' fresh tears were falling down my face
''did you know it was gonna happen ''he asked me as if he were questioning me
i shook my head in response and wiped my nose with my sweater
''then you did not kill her''
i just nodded because i didn't wanna argue with him anymore . he touched my forehead and immediately got shocked .
''shit , you're burning up''he said while he put his hand over my leg to lift me in bridal style .
i just collapsed in him from the tiredness from not sleeping . i felt so tired that i just wanna sink into the world .
when i opened my eyes i realized i was in a hospital room . i saw adrian sitting beside me sleeping . in the bedside table i found my phone . i checked the time first.
1:00pm
i glanced over messages my mom sent me .
10 unread messages
mom: oh jayla , stop being childish just take her position
mom: oh i heard grace died . its on the news
mom:OH THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER WE CAN TAKE HER POSITION AND WE DONT HAVE TO PAY HER
i stopped reading because of the pain in my chest . how could she just be so evil . i didn't realize tears were flowing on my cheeks . i wiped my tears and glanced towards adrian.
he had woken up and immediately started questioning me
''hey, are you okay ''
''yeah , i'm fine''
''i got news''he took in a big breath
i sat upright and listened carefully to what he said
''its grace's funeral this evening at 5pm ''he said hesitantly
''adrian''i took a shaky breath ''i-is grace really dead? i can't believe it. is she? tell me ''i whimpered out with a sob
he just nodded in response . that was all that needed to make me burst out into tears .
he quickly hugged and comforted me . after a while i checked the time
4:00pm
it was time . i went to the washroom to change my outfit . i looked at the mirror .
all i saw was grace in the mirror smiling saying don't cry . i knew it was just hallucination but still it hurt. how can i stop crying when you were the reason i'm still alive.
i changed my dress and got out of the washroom . i followed adrian out of the hospital and got into his car.
i reached the funeral . it was in a grass graveyard . i knew this, it was the place grace liked the most . i saw her , she was in the coffin with flowers on the side
as i went near the body i saw grace's mother so i went near her . she was full on sobbing.
because of me . it was because of me . i'm a monster . i shouldn't live in this world.
i went near grace's lifeless body all the memories came rushing in .
how she comforted me when i lost my dad in a car accident . how she stopped me from suiciding . how she took a stand for me when i got bullied . how she was always there even though she had bigger problems than me . she was the strongest person i knew .her dad was killed by grace's sister, jane . how her dad used to abuse her . i remember those bruises she came in to school that day . i saw her as my light . she went through all this and still prefered comforting me .
but now i killed her . i killed my own best friend that one i saw as my sister . the one one that i couldn't live without . the one i thought would stay with me forever .
before i realized it i was already ugly sobbing in front of her grave .
i can't live without you , grace.