"RAAAAAGH!" CRASH! "IS THAT THE BEST YOU HAVE, YOU BASTARDS?! I CAME BACK TO THIS HELL-OCEAN CHASING A FLASHY MONKEY. YOU ALL MAKE GOOD PRACTICE! GYAHAHAHA! NOW OPEN WIDE!" KABLAM!
Buggy the Clown grinned madly as another Blugori fell. The inhuman guards had learned from last time; he'd counted at least a dozen when they'd come after him this time. Not that it mattered. He was barely winded, and half of his pursuers were groaning lumps on the floor.
His prior… incident with the Blugori had given him a bit more insight into their weaknesses, and his increased renown and reputation from that incident had given him the resources he needed to exploit those weaknesses. The infamous jailers of Impel Down were redoubtable, to be sure, but not even they could stand up to the blast of a Mini-Buggy Ball. And thanks to his new 'friends', Buggy had balls to spare!
…Well, a dozen or so balls, anyway, but given the blast radius each projectile packed, that was nothing to scoff at!
Twelve Blugori chasing him merited use of one, he'd decided after a couple of minutes of running, and the explosive had worked like a charm. Now, instead of twelve chasing him, he had six much more cautiously pursuing.
Which, he decided as a thrown axe lopped off his arm, was starting to feel less like an improvement and more like lateral movement.
"Tch! Stubborn bastards…" Buggy groused as he rammed his shoulder back into place. No more Mini-Buggy Balls just yet, those had to be saved for harder targets. He glanced over his shoulder, finding the Blugori now few enough in number to chase side-by-side. Perfect.
Buggy let himself slow down just enough for the gorillas to catch up to him, and when one wound up a punch, he planted his feet and split into pieces, flowing around and behind the line of Blugori - and also shifted his feet to trip one of the beasts. It went sprawling, its cousins screeching to a halt and hastily trying to turn around, an endeavour made difficult by their forward momentum, massive bulk, and tight formation.
All of which meant plenty of time for Buggy to hook his floating hands under the rearmost Blugori's armpits and hurl it into the air, propelling it with his arms and torso.
'Gotta time this right,' he thought as he eyed the recovering Blugori. 'Three, two—now!'
The Blugori he'd tossed up came crashing down, right on top of one of the other Blugori. Hitting the stone floor didn't do much, he'd learned. You needed something harder and less yielding.
Like, say, another Blugori's skull.
As both the hulking jailers went down with pained gurgles, Buggy half-landed, half-leaped on top of them, recombining so that he could gleefully dance atop their bodies. "GYAHAHA! So that really is all you have to offer! I have to say I'm pretty disappointed with Impel Down so far! Second time fooled, so shame on you, thanks to the flashy bastard that is me!"
"GO, CAPTAIN BUGGY!"
The lone cheer echoed out and died, but after the echo faded, a few other voices chimed in.
"YEAH, YOU GO, BUGGY!"
"SHOW THOSE BASTARDS WHO'S BOSS!"
"YOU'RE THE GREATEST!"
"Ahhh," Buggy sighed, grinning from ear to ear as he spread his arms wide and welcomed his adoring public's adulation. "Yes, that's it! Praise your hero more! Forget about that old fart Shiki, I'll be the next one out of here! GYAHA—!"
"EVEN THAT NOSE OF YOURS DOESN'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS AWESOME!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY NOSE?!" Buggy abruptly shrieked, spinning around and glaring Buggy Balls at the cells. An action made rather more menacing when he grabbed up one of the Blugori's axes and started wildly flailing it about. "SAY THAT AGAIN! STICK YOUR NECK OUT ONE MORE TIME SO THAT I CAN CHOP IT CLEAN OFF!"
Unfortunately for Buggy, making good on that threat meant taking his attention off the Blugori he was nominally fighting. And simple-minded though the beasts were, they weren't tactically inept. One hefted its axe—very pointedly turning the flat towards Buggy—and began to sneak up on him. Well, 'sneak'. Walking softly was not part of its minimal skillset, but Buggy's shouting made for a perfect cover. A pause to avoid his wild flailing, a second to raise the axe high—
THWACK!
And then a minute of silence following the sound of several meaty impacts. Buggy spun back around, finally noticing the Blugori standing over him with its weapon raised.
…well, it was standing. The hulking brute slowly tipped backward and collapsed into a heap, revealing the remaining Blugori in a similar state of unconsciousness.
And, perhaps more importantly, that Buggy was no longer the only one out of his cell. There was someone standing over the Blugori, clearly responsible for the beatdown, their back to Buggy and no features identifiable. The figure turned to face Buggy, but that did nothing to tell him who the flashy hell it was.
They were as tall as Buggy, wearing sandals, but a maroon robe covered everything from the neck to the ankles, and blue cloth was wrapped around their head, leaving only their eyes visible. Buggy stared at the new arrival, and silently, the figure pointed at one wall. Cautiously, Buggy followed the path of his finger to one of the Visual Snails. He looked back and saw the figure beckon, gesturing for him to follow.
However, for all that the assistance was appreciated, Buggy was no fool. As such, he brandished his appropriated axe and levelled a glare at his 'saviour'. "Show me your face, or I'm chopping you into a carpaccio."
In response, the mystery person rolled his eyes in a blatant show of impatience, looking like he was one more objection away from just grabbing him and running. Still, he at least complied, jogging up close to Buggy and yanking down the cloth over his face to reveal—
"Hey, Buggy, remember—?"
"STRAW—!"
A rubbery palm slammed into Buggy's face, cutting off the infuriated howl before it could get more than a word in. Oh, and as salt in the wound, the arm the palm was attached to wrapped around his head, ensuring he couldn't just pull it off.
"Alright, I tried. Now we'll do it the easy way," Luffy said, re-securing the cloth on his face before leaping away, his iron grip around Buggy's mouth dragging the clown with him, axe and all.
And not a moment too soon, because he could see guards boiling into the area out of the corner of his eye.
"I think they saw us—" Bullets whizzed by him, and Luffy picked up the pace, ignoring Buggy's increased but muffled protests. "Yes! Yes, they did. Place to hide, place to hide…"
As they passed, prisoners bayed at them, throwing jeers and pleas to let them out. Luffy ignored them, too busy scanning over the structure of the prison, a helter-skelter stacking of cells in random geometries. It offered plenty of nooks and crannies, but those weren't what the rubber man was looking for.
"Okay, which way is the guards' room? Should I just start breaking walls?" Luffy wondered.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMPH!" Buggy howled through the rubber-man's fingers. Luffy looked down at him, prompting, with a livid roll of his eyes, the clown to jab a finger at a section of the brick wall.
"Oh, just that wall? Thanks!"
"MMMMMM—!" CRASH!
If Buggy felt any gratitude from Luffy listening to him, it was completely overshadowed by the rubbery idiot using the hand that was holding him—and by extension, Buggy himself—to smash the wall down.
Thankfully for both of them, the earlier ruckus Luffy and Buggy had caused was doing good work. The guardroom they entered was totally abandoned, thus granting them a second to breathe. A second during which Luffy tossed the clown into the room, finally relinquishing his hold and gagging him.
"Finally! Kefka below, I swear I'm going to have a crick in my spine for the rest of my life…" Buggy hissed, rubbing his back. He then pinned Luffy with the best glare he could muster. "Straw Hat! You flashy little bastard, just when I was starting to think this place wasn't literally Hell! What are you doing here?!" He then paused, outrage overshadowed by confusion. "…and what's with that flashy getup you're wearing?!"
"My crew's idea," he replied, suddenly solemn. "The guards'll realize it's me sooner or later, but this'll buy me some time. A mystery intruder will make them less worried than Straw Hat Luffy."
~o~
"I've kept these just in case we ever landed on another desert island like Alabasta," Vivi said, holding out a bundle of folded clothes that Luffy recognized at once. "Your desert robes, Luffy. They'll obscure your identity as long as you don't use your abilities where anyone can see, and they'll make Level 3 or any other dry heat you come across a lot easier to handle, too."
Luffy smiled warmly. And, realizing that this was possibly the last time he'd see Vivi for the rest of his journey, he hugged her close.
"Thank you, Vivi."
"I—!...O-Of course, Luffy."
~o~
Buggy blinked slowly. "…you weren't half this smart last time we met, Straw Hat."
The rubber-man's exposed eyes stared at Buggy, bordering on a glare. "Yeah," was all he said.
"Still, I'm surprised. I'd have thought the Wardens would have made a bigger spectacle about catching you."
Luffy tilted his head, confused. "Eh? They didn't catch me, I broke in."
"YOU—MMRPH!" Scowling, Buggy slowly removed Luffy's hand from his face. Again. "Sonnuva—you what?! You broke in to Impel Down?! Are you out of your—eh…" He trailed off, his mouth hanging open. "I mean are you an—er…" This time with a raised finger. Finally, he settled for scowling and crossing his arms. "Alright, I'll bite. What in the flashy hell are you doing here?!"
Luffy swung his duffel bag up and reached inside. After some rummaging, he plucked out a sealed envelope that he handed to Buggy. Then he tugged up the sleeve on his left arm.
Buggy's eyes popped at the armband he wore, flicking suspiciously between it, the envelope, and Luffy's eyes.
"Cross wrote that for you," Luffy pointed at the envelope. "You can have this—" He brandished his arm and the band. "—if you read it."
Buggy, to his credit, didn't immediately jump at the offer. Instead, he stared at the letter in his hands as though it were liable to bite him (which, given the letter's origins, wasn't that impossible a notion). But another hungry stare at the painfully familiar band overrode his caution, and he ripped the letter open, swiftly scanning the words.
"Buggy:
Alright, clown, listen up and listen good: Yes, you're seeing what you're seeing, and that is indeed the treasure mark to Captain John's Treasure. I know you were looking for it when you got pinched, and this will just be the first of many windfalls if you do the smart thing and actually listen to me. Read this letter carefully, because you know as well as I do that your only options here are getting out or getting very, very dead—Magellan doesn't take kindly to escape attempts.
Here's the quick and dirty version: Luffy's infiltrated Impel Down for the purpose of saving his adopted brother, Portgas D. 'Fire-Fist' Ace, from being executed. And yes, your mind isn't playing tricks on you: Portgas. For whatever it's worth to you, Roger got together with Rouge. Though frankly, the pogrom carried out on Baterilla probably should have clued you in. And yes, I know whose crew you served on, pick your jaw off the floor."
Buggy gurgled out a curse as he hastily reached down and did just that, the joint clicking back into place.
Thinking fast, he glanced up at Luffy. "Straw Hat, your…er, brother's father, was he really—!?"
"Your captain, according to Cross? Yeah," Luffy nodded, before his eyes crinkled in a clear smile. "Oh, by the way, thanks a lot for how you tried to kill me back in Logue Town! That was really nice of you!"
Buggy literally swallowed his tongue to keep from launching into a furious tirade, and instead returned to the letter.
"So, here's the situation: Ace is being held on Level 6—and yes, there are 6—of the prison. Your part in all this is to use all the means at your disposal to help Luffy get down there and, no matter what, get him and Ace out of this entire mess. Alive. And if you're thinking that any of this might be counterproductive for getting out of the prison, counterpoint: you're with Luffy. You help Luffy and then, assuming you survive, you'll come out of this all the better. And given how you managed to survive Roger's wild ride, I'm putting even odds on your skull being tough enough to make the trip.
And that's how it is. Stick with Luffy, help him and get him out of there alive, and you'll walk away with Captain John's treasure and whatever other side benefits you can reap along the way. Don't help him, and not only do you run a higher chance of biting it, but if by some miracle you ever make it out of that prison alive… well. I already make the World Government's life a living hell on a daily basis.
Don't give me an excuse to show you what I can do to one clown.
Jeremiah Cross
P.S. I'd apologize for my caustic tone, but in my defense, I'm not in what you'd call the best of headspaces right now.
…plus, you know, you tried to kill my captain. Twice. Fair's fair."
Buggy stared at the paper in his hands, his eyes revisiting random parts of it before he finally looked up at Luffy again.
"…let me get this straight. You broke into the world's most secure prison, to save your brother."
"Of course!"
"And you and your literally psychotic flashy tactician want my help to pull off this madness."
"Pretty much."
"…and if I do this for you. And I survive. I get the treasure marker?"
"And maybe more, I think?" Luffy tilted his head thoughtfully. "I forget the details, Cross just said things went really weird for you after the war."
"And now there's a war involved because of course there is, ngngngghh…"
Grinding his teeth, Buggy began to pace around the guardroom, mind working at a furious pace. The Straw Hats' track record spoke for itself: If he agreed to an alliance, the odds of him getting out of this with the secret of his past intact would be nil, but the odds of him getting out of this at all would increase dramatically. Add the treasure on top of that… and the fact that this was tied to his old captain…
…a feeling whispered in his blood that he hadn't felt in twenty-two years. And slowly, ever so slowly, his teeth-baring grimace became a smile. An utterly mad smile.
He spun around to face Luffy. "Alright, you're mad as hell, and your tactician is even crazier, but as much as I hate to admit it, he has a point: my best shot of getting out of here alive is by keeping you alive! This goes against every fibre in my flashy body, but desperate times call for desperate measures!"
The clownish captain shot his fists up, cackling madly. "LET'S BREAK IN AND OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE!"
"YEAH!" Luffy roared, mirroring the action.
At once, every vis-snail in view swivelled around in their perches, pinning the two pirates with a sea of annoyed glares and vicious scowls through the broken wall.
A second after that, the alarm started wailing like they'd killed its husband, mother, and firstborn son. And a second after that, the sound of stomping boots could be heard. And if it was audible over the alarm, that had to be a lot of boots.
To this, Buggy had only one thing that he could say.
"…oops."
Luffy slumped in place, his head hanging to the side and eyes closed as if to stave off a headache. "You idiot."
"YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON I WANNA HEAR THAT FROM, NOW RUN!"
"RIGHT!" Luffy loosed his fist and broke down the guardroom's other wall with a resounding CRASH!
"NOT THAT WA—oh, right, going down first, because you're an idiot…" Buggy grumbled as the wall caved away to reveal the crimson forest sprawling below them. He hesitated briefly before heaving a final defeated sigh and slinging his newly acquired axe over his back by its rope-strap. "Alright, let's do this! Get… urgh, get on my back."
Luffy did so, and in short order was flying atop Buggy the Clown. As the blades of the Crimson Forest harmlessly passed through his feet, the two flew to the pit down to Level 2, paying no mind to the arachnids, guards, or other prisoners along the way.
Buggy paused at the edge of the hole, swallowing some as he peered down into it. The all-engulfing darkness sparked a final flare of weakness in his soul; not to mention that personally, he still thought—no, recognized that the entire thing was insane.
"…you know, Straw Hat, we can still turn back," he offered. "Brothers are so overrated, you know, and—GACK!"
That was due to the hand clamped around his neck, which was currently following the rest of Luffy down the hole.
"Or-I-guess-we-could-just-do-this-that-works-too!" the clown choked out.
The pair plummeted down into the dark abyss, truly beginning their quest into the depths of hell.
And it was there that the real trouble began.
-o-
Within three seconds of arriving in the 'Wild Beast Hell', it was obvious things had gone completely off the rails.
This conclusion was arrived at largely due to two pieces of empirical evidence: first, that they weren't immediately ambushed by Wild Beasts, nor could they hear any nearby. More than that, actually; Luffy had grown up dealing with wild animals, especially ones that were (often) bigger, (possibly) stronger, and (always) looking to eat him alive, and as such, he had what others would consider way too much experience telling when such creatures were nearby.
A feeling that was very conspicuously absent upon their arrival. Oh, Luffy could tell there were beasts all around them; he could hear and smell them, no problem. But wherever they were, they weren't anywhere near them. Heck, if anything, they were hiding. And for a menagerie of what was supposed to be some of the strongest monsters in the world this side of the Red Line, that was weird.
And that was just the first thing. The second, and much more immediately concerning, was the difference in the layout compared to the floor above, or as Cross had described it. Mainly, how much damn liquid there was.
Every way Luffy looked, he saw as much water as stone. Saltwater, no less, twists and turns, making the passageways just a bit trickier to navigate. Frankly, if it weren't for the stone roof, he'd have almost mistaken the place for a grittier version of Water 7!
"What's with all these rivers?" Luffy asked, squatting down next to one. "Cross never said anything about…wait a second." The rubber man frowned and, in a move he was still reluctant to do, closed his eyes and put a hand to his head to think.
"Cross wouldn't have forgotten this, so he wouldn't have known about it… But he knew about everything else. But that means they must have changed it… But I thought that if anything was different, it was Cross's fault in the end…" His eyes opened, and his head tilted, even as a trail of steam rose up through his hood. "So it's because of Cross that they put in these rivers?"
"They're canals, Straw Hat, but yes, and congratulations on grasping basic logic," Buggy drawled, clapping his hands sarcastically. "The general rumour is that after your flashy third mate spilled all of Impel Down's big secrets, they decided that knowing too much about it could, oh, I don't know, HELP SOMEONE PLAN A BREAK-IN!?"
The pair immediately clamped up, tensing, bracing for a mob…
…But nobody came.
Finding that they were still relatively safe, Luffy gave Buggy his best 'You idiot' look, which he weathered with an uncomfortable cough. "A-Anyway… the point is that the Wardens revamped everything from Level 2 down. The general layouts are the same, as far as I know, but each floor has a little something 'special' thrown in to spice things up."
"Uhh…?" Luffy pointed up in confusion.
"Level 1 is a literal forest of blades that's been stained red with the blood of literally hundreds of prisoners and infested with venomous spiders. There's really no going up from there…plus, well…" Buggy waved his hand dismissively. "That section is more like 'special punishment', while everything else on that floor counts as general population."
"Yeah, good point… still…" Luffy scratched the top of his head as he leaned over to stare into the murky water. "Why rivers down here?"
"As I said, Straw Hat, they're canals," Buggy testily said, inching away from the water.
"Ehhhh?" Luffy looked back at Buggy with a confused expression. "What's the difference?"
"The difference is that canals are designed for transportation and movement. And that's exactly why the Wardens put these in: so they could have a wider variety of beasts."
Luffy slowly looked out to the murky waters again, a dawning sense of comprehension slowly coming over him. "…when you say 'variety'—?"
At that very moment, something very large burst out of one of the canals, water sloughing off to reveal the mottled white and black hide of a Sea Cow from behind. Luffy perked up at the sight, grinning fit to burst and forgetting all sensibility, something that made Buggy flinch and edge away even faster.
"Oh, hey, it's Mohmoo!" Luffy laughed, eagerly waving his arms over his head. "Hey, Mo—!"
And then the beast whipped its head around with a gut-ripping snarl, and Luffy remembered that he was, truly, in Hell.
Nothing that Luffy had ever come across, be it on his home island, over the course of his journey, or even his week on Merveille, could have prepared him for this monstrosity and the nightmarish visage it displayed.
It was still basically a Sea Cow, but it was missing its face. Half its face, specifically, the entire left-hand side of the Cow's skull was smothered in an amorphous mass of a weird yellow shelf fungus Luffy remembered having seen from time to time, attached to trees on Mt. Corvo. Though the impaired vision didn't prevent it from suddenly roaring and lunging at him!
"Not Mohmoo, not Mohmoo!" Luffy yelped, turning tail and bolting after Buggy—the clown having long since made tracks. At least it was still a sea creature, so it couldn't follow him, right?
The monster picked that moment to leap out of the water and flounder after them like a demented bovine seal, teeth snapping at his heels. It was what made Luffy remember what he'd heard about Goza so long ago and—consequently—the fact that Sea Cows were amphibious.
"Really starting to get tired of all this running!" Luffy groused.
"Better question here: Why are we running?!" Buggy demanded as they legged it away from the maddened and monstrous cow. "You're Straw Hat—" His voice briefly dropped into an instinctual growl before going back to normal. "Shouldn't you be able to just punch that thing into next Tuesday?"
"Not without blowing my cover, and then Magellan will come down on our heads!" Luffy snapped back as he reached into his bag and rummaged through it. "Besides, I don't need my powers for this. I just need a little of Usopp's help!"
"Uso—your sniper!?" Buggy demanded incredulously, his eyes instinctively flashing around the ceiling before common sense reminded him that no, it was not possible for him to have been hiding all this time. In that second of distraction, Luffy's hands emerged from the bag, one withdrawing his pipe and the other dropping a pellet inside one end of it.
Twisting his body around, he leaped into the air and took aim.
"Gum-Gum…" he said softly before raising his voice to a bellow. "BLOWGUN!"
A burst of air through the pipe sent the projectile flying at the mutated sea cow's face. It reeled back from the impact - and then stopped entirely, howling and flailing in agony as tears streamed from its bloodshot eye. The monster reeled and thrashed miserably until finally it writhed its way into another canal. There was a brief burst of thrashing bubbles and churning foam, and then the bubbles streamed away, and the pair were left with a moment to breathe.
Buggy stared, blinking dumbly at the creature's trail, and then slowly turned to look at his 'companion', for lack of a better term. "…did your sniper become an expert in poisons when I wasn't looking, or was that just the biggest, flashiest trick that I've ever seen in my life?!"
"Eh…" Luffy tilted his head thoughtfully as he slid his pipe back into his bag. "I… think I remember Cross saying something like 'a little of A, a little of B' or something like that. More importantly," the rubber man's demeanour grew significantly more grim and serious. "That wasn't right."
"No, really!?" Buggy scoffed incredulously. "What was your first clue?!"
"I mean that that monster wasn't right," Luffy clarified. "That… stuff on its face… that was way too weird. Cross would have mentioned something like that, but he didn't. And it doesn't fit in with the changes to this floor either. There's… something else going on here."
"Oh, what does it matter anyway!? One monster that's bigger than the others, we've got a whole floor to make it through to get to the Starvation Hell!" Buggy snapped. "And it's gone now, so why do you care?!"
"ROAR!"
The clown paled at the sound very near to them, and Luffy immediately ducked into another incongruity nearby: a cell completely devoid of prisoners, the chains and shackles inside showing heavy and recent use. The door was even unlocked. Buggy immediately followed Luffy, allowing them to safely observe the beast that ran by them:
A gigantic chicken with the head of a crazed snake, eyes wild and tongue lolling out, utterly terrifying - and utterly terrified itself. And shortly behind it? A pack of what looked like lions with oversized, sagging heads. Marked, one and all, with more of that same fungus.
"Because we're going to have to get by all of that to get out of here," Luffy deadpanned, glaring after the rabid pack. "Get it now?"
"…I liked you better as a happy-go-lucky idiot, Straw Hat."
"So did I. Now, let's find the guard room and free the prisoners." Luffy looked around warily, grimly noting the claw marks etched into the inside of the cell. "If there are any left at this point."
Buggy actually shuddered at that statement. His life was forfeit, no matter how this turned out, if Impel Down had stopped caring about an entire floor full of prisoners. He followed after Luffy, who seemed to have decided that the best idea was to run after the monsters that they had passed by.
A minute later, they came upon the basilisk backed up against a wall, the infected manticores tensing to pounce. Luffy… Buggy saw him take a handful of something out of his bag and shove it into his mouth before raising his pipe again.
"BLOWGUN GATLING!"
How he or anyone else could enunciate that with their mouth full was a mystery that Buggy had given up on answering years ago. So he totally didn't get briefly distracted by that before paying attention to the attack itself, which unfortunately had a scattershot rather than decisive effect. They turned away from the basilisk and right for them, which prompted Buggy to shake his head at the obvious outcome. Still...
"You know, we really don't have time for this if we want to get deeper into this place in any reasonable amount of time," the clown groused, even as he unslung his axe from his back.
"These things used to be friends," Luffy growled back, raising his fists. "Or at least, they lived together. This won't take long."
Buggy raked his fingers down his face in despair before redoubling his grip on the axe. Given how fast they were charging, the fastest way out of this now was to put the beasts down.
"You won't need that," Luffy said without even turning around. And before Buggy could voice any protest, Luffy shot forward and slammed shoulder-first into the frontrunner of the pack, the momentum carrying through the rest of the beasts—
CRASH!
—and through the nearest wall. Which, of course, led to the guard's room.
CRASH!
Or, well, through the guard's room. Luffy's momentum carried him and his foes clean through the opposite wall and into the open space outside.
"…should I be happy or angry about his stupidly flashy luck?" Buggy grumbled to himself. He followed Luffy through the holes, keeping the freaking Basilisk that the rubber-brained moron had gone out of his way to rescue in his peripheral vision. Which proved to be wasted effort. For whatever reason, the birdbrain didn't seem all that inclined to return to its regular savagery. Instead, it seemed to be staring at the hole with a sort of… awe?
"RAAAAAGH!"
Buggy cursed and refocused because the sounds of that rampage were likely bad news for him. Honestly, he just didn't understand why Straw Hat gave half a damn about any of the damned souls in this hellhole, they were all way beyond hope any—!
The clown-captain skidded to a halt in the wreck of the guardroom, staring at one of the walls.
Specifically, at the keyrings hanging on the wall.
Buggy slowly tilted his head to the side.
"I don't know whether to jump with joy over this fan-tastic opportunity…" he muttered to himself. "Or curse that flashy tactician to every hell I know of for somehow being three steps ahead of me without even being here!"
KA-CRASH!
"RAAAGH!"
"Opportunity it is, then!" Buggy yelped, swiping the keys and booking it out of the room. Now, how best to take advantage of this opportunity…
-o-
"GYAHAHAHA! THAT'S RIGHT, PEONS!" Buggy cackled, standing on the railing with his arms spread wide as he soaked in the raucous cheers of the liberated prisoners. "WHO'S THE ONE WHO SAVED YOU ALL? TO WHOM DO YOU OWE YOUR FREEDOM!?"
"BU-GGY! BU-GGY! BU-GGY!" the prisoners chanted, pumping their fists.
Off to the side and sitting on top of the pile of infected Manticores he'd pummeled, Luffy tilted his head. "Huh. Cross was right, he does put on a good show." He watched the cheering and cheer-garnering for a few seconds more before frowning. "Cross does it better."
Abruptly, his head snapped up and to the side, something unseen holding his full attention. He only broke it to declare, just loud enough to be heard over the cheering, "Hey, Buggy! You're gonna want to get down for a second!"
"Ehhh?" the clown sneered down at Luffy, his ego clearly inflated by his newfound audience. "Why the hell would I want to do that, you flashy bastard? You want the spotlight now or something?"
"No, just saying you should dodge."
Buggy blinked in confusion. "Huh? What the hell are you—?"
"SKREE!"
"AGH!"
With absolutely no warning, a black-and-yellow blur shot through the ruins of the guardroom and took Buggy's head clean off. More specifically, it rammed into Buggy's torso and swept it clean out from under him, leaving his legs and head where they were.
The blur slammed down into the center of the courtyard, the prisoners hastily scattering in an effort to avoid getting crushed. Now that it was standing still for more than two seconds, it could be seen that the thing was the shell of a Puzzle Scorpion, except its carapace was more fungus than chitin. More importantly, it was doing its damnedest to try and chew Buggy's torso to shreds.
"Ow, ow, YE-HE-OW!" the clown's floating head howled, his legs kicking and flailing in a panic. "CRAP, THAT HURTS! HEY, LU—GAH, STRA–STRANGER, SOME HELP DOWN THERE!?"
Luffy landed on the scorpion's back, all too happy to oblige, and grabbed its wildly flailing stinger. In one smooth motion, he slammed it down—
CRUNCH!
"SKREE-kreee-krerhghh…"
And through the top of the beast's head. The shell let out a dying screech and jerked and bucked furiously, but quickly devolved into a wet gurgle before collapsing into an unmoving lump.
"Gurgh…" came Buggy's voice from under the shell. His head and legs hopped down and reattached themselves, allowing him to squeeze out from under the dead insect. "Took your damn time! What took you so long!?"
Luffy shrugged indifferently. "I thought you could handle it."
"What?! No! DON'T ASSUME THAT AGAIN!"
"Eh, no promises."
Buggy let out a noise similar to a steam whistle, his fingers twitching as if to strangle something. The prisoners, meanwhile, were all staring at the ex-scorpion in shocked silence. Luffy looked them over, mentally counting down until—
"RAAAAAGH!"
—The assembled prisoners abruptly erupted in a blaze of rage and fury. Wait, what the hell? Luffy could only blink in shock at the sudden aura of outrage and bloodlust radiating from the mob.
"GET THE WEAPONS!" one of the larger—as in, easily two heads taller than most others larger—prisoners roared, pointing up at the guardroom. "LET'S WASTE THESE MONSTERS!"
The mob roared again in agreement and swarmed out in search of armaments. Half of them went to work raiding the guardroom and its attached armoury, arming themselves with swords, and the other half simply tore makeshift weapons out of the prison wholesale: balls and chains, metal bars either snapped in half or with chunks of stone still attached, even one particularly musclebound bruiser hefting a sink above his head.
And they went to work. Within a minute, they had charged off down every corridor attached to the courtyard to the tune of carnage and war cries. Steel sang, gunshots rang, and inhuman shouts of pain filled the air. Man had struck back against the beasts and was proving that they needed them there for a reason.
Which, quite honestly, was the last thing Luffy had been expecting.
"This… wasn't what I thought was gonna happen…" Luffy said deadpan.
"Eh?!" Buggy exclaimed, whipping his head around to boggle at the rubber man. "The hell did you think was gonna happen? They're finally free, of course, they're gonna raise hell!"
Luffy grunted in annoyance, almost pouting. "Cross said that they'd rather stay behind bars than take their chances with the monsters on this floor. Most of them, anyway. Even after you talked them all up. They were only supposed to riot after we took down the biggest monster on the floor…" He scratched his scalp under his hood, confused. "So why are they rioting after they just got reminded of what they have to fight?"
"Because that's the safer choice at this point, Straw Hat. I'd be joining them if not for these handcuffs."
Luffy snapped around, ready to deny and lie as best he could, but immediately relaxed a bit upon seeing the speaker. Or rather, the 3-shaped knot in his hair.
"…Wax-guy," the rubber-man grunted. "How'd you know it was me?"
Galdino let out a derisive snort. "I would think you would be familiar by now with people who fight with brains above brawn. A fighting style that is reckless, coupled with authentic Alabastan desert robes? Obvious to someone of my intellect. More importantly..." he raised his wrists and shook his cuffs impatiently. "I don't suppose you have a lockpick in that bag?"
"Ehhh…" Luffy's hand drifted to his bag. "Noooot one you'd wanna use, but Buggy should have the key," he hedged, nodding at the clown. Said clown hemmed and hawed for a second before pulling out the keyring with a mutinous grumble and getting to work trying keys. "Anyway, what were you saying?"
"The circumstances you described were accurate, Straw Hat, at least for the past few months since you relegated me to this wretched pit," Mr. 3 drawled, his tone dripping with contempt that Luffy wholly ignored. "Before the last few weeks, most of the beasts didn't bother trying to get into the cages; they just waited for any idiots from Level On or here to try their luck, or for when the Wardens force us out for some 'exercise'. Hence, it was smarter and safer to stay in our cells."
The cuffs suddenly clicked off, and Galdino heaved a sigh of relief for the first time in months. He rubbed his wrists, a flame springing to life atop his hair. He let out a wry chuckle as his arms started to drip with wax.
"Oh, I have missed this feeling…"
"Hey, hey, wa—Galdino," Luffy interjected, snapping the ex-Officer Agent's attention back to him. "You said that was how it was. What changed?"
Galdino's demeanour instantly darkened, and his fists melted into molten lumps. "A week ago," he bit out. "The Wardens… they introduced a new monster to this floor. That's nothing new; that bitch Sadi always loves nothing more than to introduce us to her pets, but this one... that thing was different. Apparently, not even the Wardens wanted it in here, but for some reason, they had no choice but to bring it in. And I can certainly see why they didn't want it. The entire time it's been here, it's attacked everything that moves: prisoner, Warden, or monster, and all with the exact same results—" Galdino spat the word as he glared at the fungus-covered scorpion. "—you see before you. And it didn't have the decency like the other beasts to wait to be fed."
Galdino shook his head. "Mark my words: the other beasts we were content with simply avoiding. But that one? Better to die as rioters than sitting ducks!"
Luffy leaned forward, a very real sense of dread growing within him. "So, uh… what's so bad about 'that one'?"
And then the entire floor was blasted with noise.
A roar, a shriek, a cry… it was all of those and none, but in the end, the best descriptor for it was pure, primal, evil noise.
It shook every person who heard it straight to their core. But Luffy? It hit Luffy differently.
"SHKREEEEAAAAAARGH!"
It hit Luffy right in his memory.
"…oh," he whispered weakly. "That one."
-o-
"SHKREEEEAAAAAARGH!"
Hancock's head snapped up at the very familiar sound. A spike of ice sprouted in her heart. "…that is the kind of monstrosity you keep in this place?" she hissed out.
Tashigi blinked at the Warlord in confusion, which left her the odd woman out. The Wardens and jailers scowled, their emotions ranging from outrage to disgust, which choked the cramped elevator with even more tension.
"No. That particular monster is not one of ours," Domino said snippily.
Hancock asked, as the elevator decelerated, "Then whose is it?! You said nobody could order you to do anything except—"
The elevator shuddered to a halt, its doors ground open, disgorging a wave of hair-curling heat and a snide, arrogant voice that was almost as annoying as the scorching air.
"—the highest authorities in the World Government?"
The new voice belonged to a young man with a smug look on his face, thoroughly unconcerned by the dark looks almost everyone in the elevator gave him. In fact, despite the wardens' negative attention, all his focus was on Hancock alone.
"Yes, it was on their orders that my masterwork was introduced to this…" He hissed and rolled his wrist in search of an appropriate term. "Maggot's nest, for further testing and evaluation, it has been determined that the human waste rotting here would make for fine fodder. And after a week of testing, I can say with confidence that the experiment has been nothing short of a rousing success. Quite fortuitous for the sake of our mutual employer, no?" the glasses-wearing weasel concluded with an ear-to-ear grin that just radiated arrogance.
It was now painfully clear exactly why Magellan was in such a bad mood if he'd had to put up with this for the last week. And as such, Hancock took the only logical course of action available: she summarily ignored the pest before her.
"Why are we pausing here? Were we not going directly to Fire Fist's cell?" she asked, indicating the visible pillars of flame that gave away which level they were on. But Magellan was already accompanying them, so—?
"Portgas D. Ace is being kept on the bottom-most Level of Impel Down," Magellan explained as the jailers piled out - and also ignored the bespectacled weasel frozen in the entrance. "A Level which can only be reached via the elevator through the use of a key that is always held in the Warden's office when not in use. A small detour to retrieve the key, and then we shall proceed."
Outwardly, Hancock sighed, very quietly, at the inconvenience, but inside, she allowed herself to feel relief. Every second Magellan was occupied with her was another moment he wasn't looking for Luffy. Still, appearances had to be maintained, so…
"Very well. Let's just get this over with." And with that, she marched out of the elevator after him.
"H-hey now," the self-important prick cut in, his smile twitching more towards a scowl. "I'm right here, you know. You can't just ignore me, I'm—!"
THUD!
"GAH!" the man yelped as Hancock walked right into him, knocking him on his ass. "Hey, what the hell do you think you're—!?" CRUNCH! "GYAAAAGH!"
Rather than go around the prone pest, she just continued straight on. Her every step hit and crunched bone as if he were nothing more than a rug on the floor.
Tashigi, still lagging behind a bit, couldn't help but gape at the twitching figure Hancock had left in her wake. "You, uh… don't you have… anything to say, a-about—?"
"Hm?" Hancock reared her head back haughtily. "I have never before paid any heed to any foolish enough to stand in my way, be they man or animal. Why, then, would I pay attention to an insect?"
Tashigi blinked, glancing down at the pile of quivering man-flesh before shrugging and quickening her pace. "Fair enough."
The party continued forth uninterrupted, ignoring the pained sounds of the man behind them, as well as the sounds of him struggling his way to his feet and limping after them.
"My name… is Ratchet," he bit out, glaring daggers at all their backs. "Rightful ruler of Mecha Island…and world-class genius of mechanics and engineering. Someone. To be treated. With respect. "
Hancock, of course, paid him all the respect she believed him due and kept walking.
"And this field test is going far better than the previous one… for the BioMEGA project."
Those last two words had the desired effect. Hancock stopped cold, the truth of the roar from earlier sinking into her bones. She wasn't afraid of this man, no, the mere idea was laughable, but there was an acute sense of threat hanging about him, now that she knew why he was even here. And with Hancock stopped, the entire party came to a screeching halt.
"Heh. Thought that'd get your attention," Ratchet smirked malevolently, though his swollen eye and missing tooth significantly undercut any sense of gravitas he might have been going for. "If you want to know more? You'll have to ask me."
Hancock twitched viciously, very visibly contemplating cold-blooded murder. "…what does it stand for?" she hissed out, plainly reluctant to say even that much.
Ratchet allowed an arrogant smirk to crawl across his pummeled face as he casually strolled (read: limped) his way in front of Hancock, raising his chin at her. "That's better… buuut not quite what I'm looking for. What're the magic words, hm?"
Hancock glared down at the vicious little man, vividly imagining each and every way she could summarily end his wretched existence even while still handcuffed. But then she closed her eyes, let out a calming sigh, and applied all the diplomatic knowledge she had learned from listening to Princess Vivi.
CRUNCH!
"GYAH!"
Which is to say, her knee shot up and buried itself in the little bastard's crotch. Notably, neither the Warden nor the Vice Warden nor even Momonga winced. The Empress knelt over the man, his renewed twitching making her grimace.
"If I have to ask again, I will do so by applying my heel to your neck. Now talk."
Ratchet coughed and wheezed a second more before slowly raising his head so that he could glare back at her with arrogant (or more likely delusional) defiance.
"The BioMEGA Program…" he bit out. "Or, to call them by their full name… Biological Mechanically Enhanced… Genocide Armaments."
And that got the full attention of the entire group. Apparently, nobody had bothered to inform the Wardens of the precise nature of the monsters they'd acquired.
"Truly, pinnacles of modern science, one and all. Fusions of the mightiest beasts, as provided by such hacks as Indigo and Hogback, and the most glorious technological might known to man, designed by the revolutionary genius that is I. No fear, no hesitation, no remorse. Just sheer. Unrelenting. Devastation. Far superior to Vegapunk's tawdry Pacifista line, I assure you."
"Superior?" Magellan snorted. "How do you claim that? I seem to recall the agent who delivered you here claiming that Vegapunk perfected and finished these weapons after you finished the design phase."
"They are still mine, and nothing will change that!"
'Another insufferable genius with too much misplaced pride in his wretched craft,' Tashigi thought, rolling her eyes.
"And what are they doing here?" Hancock cut in.
"Why, testing, of course! We can't rightly release these marvels into the world without making sure they're effective, now can we? Honestly, I don't understand why the Wardens are griping. Prisoners have been undergoing just this on Punk Hazard for years now! Well, until the recent 'incident', anyway."
"Those were prisoners we explicitly released, and it never occurred in our prison itself," Magellan rumbled dangerously.
"Whatever," Ratchet waved off. "In any case, I look forward to witnessing their growth. The initial prototype was glorious as it was."
Ratchet's eyes deliberately locked with Hancock's once more, and her eyes narrowed in cold fury at the silent gloating.
"What happened to this… prototype of yours?"
A sour look passed over Ratchet's face before morphing into a smug grin. "A field test that ended with… less than optimal results. But no worries, it was only the prototype, that's what it's for. I assure you, the field models deployed here? Are much, much more effective. Of that, I give you my word."
The empress and the engineer stared each other down for several seconds more before someone else chimed in.
"Excuse me, but the name is… confusing," Tashigi said carefully, obviously dreading the answer and withering just enough under the look Momonga sent her way to seem real. "These weapons, are they intended to prevent genocides? Or cause them?"
"Hm hm hmm…" Ratchet chuckled. "Like any great work of art, the interpretation is, of course, left up to the viewer - and, more importantly, the sponsor."
"I see," Hancock stated in a tone that would have frozen helium. "Well, let me demonstrate my… appreciation as a viewer of your art."
And with that, the air trembled as Hancock glared at him, and her will smashed into Ratchet's mind. Or perhaps more accurately, Ratchet's mind smashed against her will with all the effectiveness of a certain Admiral against the Red Line.
Consequently, his mind shut down, foam cascaded out of his mouth, and his boneless body flopped against the floor, smacking his head against the hard brick.
That done, Hancock huffed and turned back to her party. "You don't need him awake anytime soon, do you?"
"Preferably not ever, but we unfortunately have…" Hannyabal glanced up at Magellan before looking away with a scowl. "Orders to keep him alive, so—!"
Magellan made to slap him, but his palm met only air as this time, Hannyabal ducked. Everyone blinked.
Well, almost everyone. The Warden just took it in stride. "…oh, I missed. Well, you should still learn when to watch your tongue. Now, Empress, shall we?"
Despite his ever-present scowl, the Warden's mood was very clearly lifted by what had just happened. The jailers were used to their Warden's mercurial moods. Tashigi seemed conflicted, from the grimace on her face. And Hancock...
Hancock, for her part, paid them no mind. She was busy staring up and through the ceiling, silently praying for the safety of her beloved against the unforeseen horrors he was now facing.
'Please, Luffy, however impossible a request this might be… stay safe…'
-o-
"Okay…" Luffy breathed, closing his eyes and slapping his hand to his face. "Okay… okay, that's really not good. But!" He snapped his head up with a firm nod. "Maybe we can avoid it. Oi!" the rubber man shouted at the escaped inmates. "Hey, prisoner-guys! Do any of you know where that thing is right now? I gotta get down to Level 3, and I don't want it to try and take my head off on the way!"
Most of the prisoners were too busy either rejoicing or taking keys to other parts of the floor to answer, but a few stopped to give Luffy sympathetic looks. Well, either sympathetic or 'are you really that much of an idiot?!' looks, same difference.
"Give it up, man! This time of day, it's squatting right next to the stairs that go even deeper into this hell!" one shouted. "Ain't no way you're getting past it!"
"Monkeyfeathers," Luffy spat, snorting out his frustration. He then turned to Galdino and Buggy. "Alright, this is gonna suck, but… Wax-guy, which way to those stairs?"
Galdino's eyes widened in dawning realization and outright terror. "Straw Hat, you might be an idiot, but not even you can be so stupid as to want to fight that thing!" he squawked.
"I'm sorry, which Straw Hat Luffy are you thinking of?" Buggy deadpanned.
Galdino briefly thought that over before knocking his head against the nearest wall. "Yes, I see your point." He whipped his head back around to glower at Luffy. "Well, seeing as I'm, you know, sane, I'm having no part of it! You heard what I said, Straw Hat: I'm not dying as a sitting duck to that thing, so why the hell do you think I'd run right into its slavering jaws?!"
"I didn't ask you to fight, I know you and Buggy are cowards," Luffy replied in a perfectly matter-of-fact voice, ignoring both of their incensed sputtering. "Go ahead and sit it out, I don't mind. I just need to get there."
Galdino's sputtering slowly subsided, and he resorted to massaging his throbbing temples. "I cannot believe you're making this sound so reasonable…" Finally, after a long moment of contemplation, he dropped his hands and stared at the pirate, his expression grim but resigned. "Fine. Fine! I'll lead you to it, go ahead and die, Straw Hat! But I'm running the other way, the second you can find your own way!"
"Yeah, that's fine," Luffy bluntly replied, drawing out a renewed round of sputtering from the ex-Agent.
"Well, I'm with you 100% of the way, Straw Hat!" Buggy declared as he shot his fists skywards, his show of confidence not quite hiding his knocking knees. "Safest place in this hell is right next to you!"
"Thanks, Buggy," Luffy nodded, walking past him to follow where Galdino was petulantly pointing. "But feel free to run, too."
Buggy's facial muscles twitched as he followed closely behind Luffy and Galdino, wishing that he didn't know how little of a choice he had in this matter. His fate had been sealed the moment he'd agreed to fight with Luffy. Which, now that he thought about it, likely meant that the poor drip shuffling ahead of him was probably already in the same boat.
Frowning in contemplation, Buggy's head flew ahead of the rest of him to talk to the other prisoner. Galdino did a double-take, shook off the oddity just as fast, and then asked, "And what makes you think that you're safer being at ground zero than finding a place to watch and wait?"
"Oh, I don't like it, but even this close to the middle of the mess, he'll be taking most of it. I just need to play support in the background until he punches a way out."
Galdino frowned. "I acknowledge his capabilities. Underestimating him was a mistake I won't repeat. But I still say that this is a bad idea! How likely is it that we'll actually—?"
Their progress came to an abrupt halt as they prepared to jump a canal, only for an eel-like sea king to surface, uninfected with fungus but as deadly as any other Sea King—
CRUNCH! THUD!
—which meant one firm whack from Luffy laid it out flat.
Buggy's head rejoined his body, and he shrugged. "I call it 50/50, and that's better than anything that I could manage alone."
"Did you account for the fact that Straw Hat recognized and was worried about the monster wreaking havoc on this floor?!" Galdino hissed back.
"…okay, I'll admit. That skews the numbers a bit. But still—GRK! "
Galdino and Buggy's talk came to a premature end as Luffy grabbed their throats and dragged them behind a corner. When he released them, his only response to their glares was to point back around the corner. Still pissed, but also somewhat confused, they both peeked their heads out. What they saw made their blood freeze.
"Okay…" Buggy wheezed. "That hurts the odds more than a little."
The party had arrived at their destination, and the sight that met them was… not particularly encouraging. Actually?
"SHKREE-KEE-KEEEEE!"
"GRAAAAARGH!"
It was downright horrific.
Obviously, the fact that the two beasts they'd been dreading were right there and visibly blocking the stairs they needed to take to get down a level was bad enough on its own. The beasts themselves made matters even worse… or at least, one of them did. One was 'just' a massive lion with the face of a man, which, after all the strange beasts all three had seen thus far, barely moved the needle.
The other, though. The other beast was the true problem.
In fact, it didn't just move the needle; it cranked the needle to eleven and then ripped it clean off the instrument. Because, quite frankly? The thing wasn't a beast. It was an out-of-the-ordinary monster.
At its base, the entity was insectoid. The bloated abdomen, four madly twitching legs, mandible pincers, and bright red lenses for eyes bore resemblance to the biggest, meanest ant that they could imagine. Two pairs of top-most legs were missing, while in their place were two pairs of sickles that belonged to praying mantises. Or they would have if they didn't have serrated blades made of actual metal grafted onto their trailing edges. And that was where the 'insectoid' comparison fell to pieces, as everything from the 'thorax' down was serpentine in nature. And not figuratively, there were definitely scales on the tube supporting the monster's bulk, where there wasn't metal plating.
Its jaws, jagged and as large as two girders, were buried in the sphinx's back to the tune of agonized, soul-rending wails of pain as the lion ineffectually flailed to get out from under the thing. But the most grotesque feature was the off-yellow fungal growth covering the exoskeleton, sprouting in obscene organic shelves from the thing's back and between the seams of its metal plates. Almost none of the creature's 'natural'—for lack of a better term—black and green hue was visible.
Still, the growth didn't hinder it at all. It moved with disturbing fluidity for its size and twitching, skittering gait as it effortlessly wrestled its bulk atop the sphinx to keep it in submission. Completing the horrifying picture was its tail, raised high with a metal stake jutting out and leaking a very unhealthy-looking yellow fluid.
"Well, too bad!" Galdino declared, abouting face with a petrified smile plastered on his face. "Looks like there's no way we're getting past that thing, we should just—"
"Aaaaand he just ran in."
Galdino followed Buggy's finger and blanched. Luffy had, indeed, just run out of his cover, much faster than he remembered the brat being.
"GET—!" the pirate bellowed as he leaped at the monster, his shout drawing the misshapen monstrosity's attention before he pulled something out of his pocket and slammed it into the thing's chest. "OFF!"
THOOM! "SKREE-KREE-KREE!"
The air rippled visibly from whatever it was Luffy did, sending the monster reeling back from its prey as it chittered in aggravation. The monster's head snapped down to lock its incandescent glare on Luffy and, in the process, diverted its attention and the bulk of its body from pinning its prey. The sphinx took whole-hearted advantage of the lapse and clawed out from under the monster before bolting for and around the closest corner it could reach.
The two titans squaring off ignored the fleeing mega-feline in favour of their seething hatred for one another. For a moment, they squared off, poised to rend each other limb from limb. And then, as one, they lashed out.
The insectoid monster reared up, slashing its blades at its new enemy. Luffy flipped and rolled around the strikes as he accelerated towards his target, before sliding as 'under it' as he could manage. Another scythe lashed down to try and impale him to the stone, a move that he only just managed to roll out of the way of. In response, Luffy wound up his pipe and slammed it into the blade as hard as he could manage.
It didn't budge in the slightest.
Luffy's eye twitched viciously at that result. "Oh, this is gonna hurt."
The monster made good on that statement when it used its buried scythe as an anchor point to somehow wheel around the entirety of its bulk and slam the full weight of its tail into Luffy, blasting him into the nearest wall—
"Sonnuva—OH, CRAP!"
—where, in spite of not being hurt, Luffy had to hastily ram his pipe into the wall to avoid taking an impromptu and very final dunk in the canal right below him. And while his perch kept him high and dry, it made him an all-too-easy target for the monster, which was why no time to slash and strike with its forelimbs as fast as possible.
"We need to help him!" Buggy declared as Luffy leaped and climbed his way through the onslaught.
"Are you out of your mind?!" Galdino demanded, gawking at the clown like he was crazy. Well, crazier than he already looked, leastways. "We'd die if—!"
"Oh, hell no, I don't mean that fight!" Buggy retorted, indicating the battlefield, where Luffy had managed to take a flying leap that landed him square on the bug's skull, a position he immediately put to good use by taking hold of the thing's antennae and yanking as hard as he could manage. Whether he was aiming to rip out the antennae or rip off the head wholesale, he was certainly doing something to it. The monster began flailing frantically, thrashing and slashing as though it were in the midst of a seizure.
Buggy barely even flinched as a wild lash of its tail slammed a hole clean through a nearby wall. "Yeah, no. We'd die in ten seconds flat. No…" Buggy shifted his finger to the side as he unslung his axe. "I mean, handling those things."
Once again, Galdino followed Buggy's finger, this time to a pack of infected beasts that were starting to slink out of the corridors and rise from the waters to encircle the fight. Certainly a lot more manageable, albeit potentially a problem if they distracted Straw Hat.
"You know what," the wax-man said, his power bubbling from his hands. "I could use a bout of stress relief."
"Just to be sure," Buggy grunted as he rolled his shoulder. "It was pretty obvious that that thing's stinger was what turned those things into crawling corpses, but can those things also…?"
Galdino grunted in denial as he solidified his wax into gauntlets. "From what I've seen, no. Whoever made this thing appears to have had just enough brains to make it so that it's the only point of infection. Though for the record, nobody's really survived long enough after getting jumped by one of those things for any real conclusions to be drawn, so… just don't let them sink their fangs into you if you can help it."
"NOT IF I SINK MY AXE INTO THEIR SKULLS FIRST! LET'S GO, EUTHANASIA FOR EVERYONE! C'MERE, BEASTIE!"
"GROOOOOAR!"